Cars that are shite but never seem to appear FS on here.

[ProgRocker]

Tagline for the Nissan Almera N15 1995 TV advert was: "The car they do not want you to drive". 

[bangernomics]

Tagline for the Nissan Almera N15 1995 TV advert was: "The car they do not want you to drive". 

GTI

[big_al_granvia]

the bluebird was popular with minicab drivers, then they ended up on the ovals, the 90's micra became a very common rookie banger. almeras got used as limited contact bangers with focuses and astras. 

[smellypoo]

12 hours ago, Dick Cheeseburger said:

EFA

Would. 

I have to admit, that does look rather nice! Those wheels look like Enkeis too. Sort of reminds me of that hot Sunny/Pulsar that they did...

I've never driven a 'hot' Almera, just various 'regular' models. 

Maybe I was a little harsh... 

[ChinaTom]

I had a green Pulsar SLX - 5 door Sunny basically. Loved it. 

[Timewaster]

Anything without a cult following is one big bill away from the scrapper..

 

[bezzabsa]

Fiat Stilo....

[Markeh]

On 27/01/2026 at 12:35, D.E said:

Come to think of it, the Tino wasn't exactly exciting either...

My gran had a Tino from new - a 1.8 SE in that mid-grey they and the accompanying Almera came in. I think it was primarily because she always liked a Bluebird she had years before and it seemed like the logical choice given she was replacing a Scenic and my dad was working for Nissan at the time, so she could just get him to take it for servicing! Must have stuck because she had a trio of Notes afterwards, she says the Note used to drive just like the Tino. According to the Doovla, FE05EUW is no longer with us.

I had a light up pen from the Tino launch that my dad gave me, used it on my exams at the time!

I'm glad this thread prompted me to check our old cars though, because mum's old Daewoo Tacuma (not a bad candidate for this but we've had at least two on these pages iirc!), by trim level one of 5 manual CDXs under the Daewoo brand left in the UK, is still going and passed an MOT last month! If I ever find it for sale, I might just have to buy the old girl back...

[delux]

Controversial on this but hear me out. 

Was chatting with Ally today. Ally is an Aston Martin mechanic. The garage he works in sells Astons, Rollers and Bentleys. I asked him what he and his colleagues considered a 'shite' car. 

Without having to think at all he answered...

(Not my pic, https://flic.kr/p/2h5a9s4)

Rolls Royce Cullinan! He says everyone they sold has come back with a massive list of faults! He went on to say they had sold one with the optional Swarovski diamonds and LEDs set into the headlining but the customer brought it back as the constellation was missing several key stars! Cock!

 

[PSAPerv]

On 26/01/2026 at 07:15, loserone said:

Î have a Dacia too.  Not sure it counts as shite yet.

 

@PSAPerv has a very shite Sandero though.

Behold the mighty £300 Shandero 

 

[big_al_granvia]

reckon a lot of 90's chod ended up in this

 

[sdkrc]

Primera P12. 

I guess it's not proper shite though as it's too modern

[Spiny Norman]

On 30/01/2026 at 21:47, delux said:

He went on to say they had sold one with the optional Swarovski diamonds and LEDs set into the headlining but the customer brought it back as the constellation was missing several key stars! Cock!

For what these shitheaps cost I'd want an accurate, real time representation of the heavens above me and not some tacky LEDs set into the ceiling to impress the 'OOOH Shiney' mentality of the buyers. 

[Metal Guru]

15 minutes ago, Spiny Norman said:

For what these shitheaps cost I'd want an accurate, real time representation of the heavens above me and not some tacky LEDs set into the ceiling to impress the 'OOOH Shiney' mentality of the buyers. 

I like the irony of Swarovski’s lab grown diamonds given the car’s name.

[Pieman]

Good to see that those hateful Rolls-Royce lorry-sized things are completely shite.  I call it the Cunnilingus.

Alternatively, you can have a Bentley Bentgayer, a Range Rover Vulgar or a Lamborghini Anus.

[Muniphobia]

7 hours ago, Spiny Norman said:

For what these shitheaps cost I'd want an accurate, real time representation of the heavens above me and not some tacky LEDs set into the ceiling to impress the 'OOOH Shiney' mentality of the buyers. 

At least if they have a faithful representation of the stars you can say do you want to get in the back and see the bear? Lets face it there's not much chance of seeing the plough with how often it will go offroad

[Spiny Norman]

9 hours ago, Pieman said:

Good to see that those hateful Rolls-Royce lorry-sized things are completely shite.  I call it the Cunnilingus.

Alternatively, you can have a Bentley Bentgayer, a Range Rover Vulgar or a Lamborghini Anus.

The Lamborghini Butthole is the first Lambo I have ever not wanted. The only good thing about it that I can see is that by selling lots of them to that special class of people who appreciate such things, they're filling the coffers with the money to go on developing more bedroom poster supercars, which is the entire purpose of Lamborghini. 

As for the Bentgay, anyone remember these? 

[Psycho Charlie Knobcheese]

On 26/01/2026 at 06:44, Split_Pin said:

I think @loserone had an Almera and said it was really, really shit. 

 

[DSdriver]

On 02/02/2026 at 13:29, Spiny Norman said:

The Lamborghini Butthole is the first Lambo I have ever not wanted. The only good thing about it that I can see is that by selling lots of them to that special class of people who appreciate such things, they're filling the coffers with the money to go on developing more bedroom poster supercars, which is the entire purpose of Lamborghini. 

As for the Bentgay, anyone remember these? 

Is that the new postie van?

[Metal Guru]

12 minutes ago, DSdriver said:

Is that the new postie van?

It reminds me of the Allegro Vanden Plas.

[MantaGTE85]

There can't be too much wrong with the post-2000 Nissan Almera. Despite its massively advancing age, there are plenty of them going around on the roads here in Exeter, in wildly varying states of (dis)repair. I even noticed a saloon-bodied one not long ago. They don't appear to corrode anything like the original shape Almeras did, and I know that those are now quite rare. I should start making a list of any that I notice.

[loserone]

24 minutes ago, MantaGTE85 said:

There can't be too much wrong with the post-2000 Nissan Almera