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Warren Works... TWO TIER KIA.... IS NOW FOR SALE!

warren t claim

By warren t claim
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FakeConcern Rank: Lancia Gamma

FakeConcern

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Not interested in your willy @wuvvum but what car of yours was featured in SOTW?

High Jetter Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

High Jetter

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I like acronyms, and have several hopes what the S might represent.

808 Estate Rank: Renault 16

808 Estate

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On 20/05/2024 at 20:21, JJ0063 said:

 

Absolute steal for a grand. If I had the motivation I’d buy it and roffle it as it’s not even 20 mins from me but that went tits up last time so never again 😂

One random please. :D

warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

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21 minutes ago, JJ0063 said:

£875 now!

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egg Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

egg

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On 21/05/2024 at 06:07, Lacquer Peel said:

No one gives a shit what car you're seen in. Lots of people don't even have cars and don't care about them. 

So true. Mrs Egg could probably barely pick out cars we actually own from a 'police line up' let alone what Bob down the street drives.

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JJ0063 Rank: Lancia Gamma

JJ0063

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Could have been an interesting camper conversion if it hadn’t then been taken round kings lynn banger track…

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warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

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Where the fuck do I start?

The Kia managed to snap its DPF off meaning that Ill have to jump into an Insignia for the weekend.

The Insignia in question was out with another driver for a year before being handed back a few months ago with blown injector seals. The driver hopped into another Insignia and last week the owner got his mechanic to replace them. As the Kia is sick with a sheared off DPF I volunteered to jockey the Insignia over the weekend whilst the Kia is at MY mechanics getting fixed at mates rates. This means I'd have to pay to swap my insurance over to the Insignia at 11am Friday morning when I was 100% certain MY mechanic could sort the Kia out by Monday.

As I have previous with Insignias the previous night at 11pm I decide to use my Tradex perk and take the recently fixed but not properly tested Insignia for a test drive. I was told by the owner that it was running on fumes so I chuck a gallon of derv into a can and put it into the tank before taking it for a spin. It starts and runs fine for about five minutes before it starts making a noise like there's a pully about to collapse! I shut the motor off, restart it, and then take it back to where I found it thanking my lucky stars that I discovered that it was fucked before swapping my insurance over and losing a weekends work. 

As I was pulling into the car park the noise started again. Ignition off and the noise continues. I even switch the ignition back on to check the rev counter to make sure that the engine has been shut down and the tacho confirms this to be true. I fetch my torch from the Kia and pop the bonnet of the Insignia to investigate further to satisfy my own curiosity. Within seconds the problem becomes obvious. HIS mechanic had left a wood chisel on the engine and it had fallen into the radiator fan. I've replaced injector seals myself previously and I really don't remember the need to use a wood chisel to complete the job!

To be continued after I've fetched another beer.

beko1987 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

beko1987

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Might want to cable tie that safely out of the way... 

I dropped a very nice screwdriver bit down into the bowels of my xm's subframe once. I know it's gone forever as I heard it exit the next time I drove it after a few miles, luckily there wasn't a car behind 😬

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warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

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Where were we?

At 10.30am I ring my taxi insurance broker and swap my cover from The Kia to the Insignia. One thing that I was made aware of is that the Insignia needed a replacement NSF tyre and as I'm not keeping it for long I drove the half mile or so to the scrapyard and spent £30 for a part worn along with another fiver to replace the missing wheeltrim as only having three affects my OCD. As it'd been parked up and used as a shed for months I paid to have it valeted. 

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In all fairness, it did scrub up well. 

As it was a warm and sunny day I decided to optimistically hit the AC button and to my great surprise refrigerated air flowed freely out of the vents. Maybe this won't be as bad a weekend as I thought it might be!

Rather than going straight to work I'd agreed to take a friend and four wheels to a used tyre seller to get the hoops changed. Two wheels were off a Corsa we've sold and the other two were off a Juke that some woman had worn down to the point where 75% of the surface were exposed cord... Wheels loaded, coffee and toast consumed and we head off. 

About a mile down the road we hear a flapping sound and the Insignia bleeps that the battery isn't being charged. You've guessed it, the alternator belt had shredded itself! We phone around and get a replacement belt for £23. As it was now past noon which is when my insurance broker refuses to deal with any taxi business I phone my mechanic to tell him not to start on the Kia as fixing the Insignia is priority number 1. 

I arrive at my mechanics only to see a pool of oil under the Insignia. Upon investigation it seems that the shredded belt had whipped around so much it'd taken out the crankshaft oil seal. Hardly an expensive or difficult part to replace but there was one major problem. No Vauxhall dealer in the North West of England or North Wales had one in stock. The earliest I can get one is Monday.

Game Over for any chance of me working this weekend.

 

warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

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The replacement oil seal is being delivered to my mechanic at 2.30pm tomorrow.

A couple of observations were gathered from my short tenure. I honestly thought that the facelift version would have alloys. It has Bluetooth, USB ports, DAB radio and climate control but to my great surprise, it has keep-fit windows in the rear. That's like discovering a lady under fifty who doesn't suck cock! No sat nav on this car though and unlike my last facelift Insignia it doesn't have the 1999 Compaq laptop mousepad Happy Shopper iDrive system.

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warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

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Just now, High Jetter said:

How did your weekend off go?

Dull and boring!

Jim Bergerac Rank: Renault 16

Jim Bergerac

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I think Warren has proved that if you want a reliable minicab it has to be an MG6. 

If I remember well, you had to specifically spec the fake alloy trims on these. Standard was the 16" alloys that looked like castors on the Insignia's proportions. 

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andy18s Rank: Lancia Gamma

andy18s

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On 30/05/2024 at 00:50, JJ0063 said:

Could have been an interesting camper conversion if it hadn’t then been taken round kings lynn banger track…

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That had a generic BT Transit conversion swapped onto it,fairly common iirc.

LightBulbFun Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

LightBulbFun

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4 hours ago, andy18s said:

That had a generic BT Transit conversion swapped onto it,fairly common iirc.

interesting! do you have any more details about that? waaaay back in the 1960's they did actually produce a FX4 based van for royal mail funnily enough, but it turned out not to be as good as they hoped, I never realised they tried again with the TX :) (I thought @JJ0063's was just a one off special that someone knocked up in their back yard, TX's being body on frame still means they lend themselves to all sorts of whacky conversions etc!)

  • warren t claim changed the title to Warren Works... An MG6. In for test. It fails. NOW Insignia Issues!
warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

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Well, it's sort of fixed.

The flailing alternator belt also managed to fuck the ABS sensor up for good measure meaning I've had to tape over the ABS and TC lights. I've now got no cruise control for good measure.

Number 2 injector is still doing a passable impersonation of Ivor The Engine and the motor has a huge flat spot between 1500 and 3000 rpm.

And as expected, the keep fit rear windows are pissing me off when punters leave them open. I'm having to do the Base Model Reacharound to put them back up.

The clutch pedal squeaks but that's a Vauxhall heritage feature.

Fuel economy is about 37 mpg.

On the plus side, it's very comfortable behind the wheel.

LightBulbFun Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

LightBulbFun

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9 hours ago, wuvvum said:

No Dez, you won't be able to get insurance on one of those either.

its just a Luton Van innit m8? :mrgreen:

https://www.brentacre.co.uk/modified-van-insurance/

(I do say that in Jest mostly but during the whole Taxi saga I ping-ponged to those above and they said yeah we would be able to cover you if it was modified, but not stock, so who fucking knows maybe I could get insurance on it LOL, but its no longer a WAV so kinda defeats the whole point...)

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warren t claim Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

warren t claim

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That Fairway is more fucked than you could even imagine.

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