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Ridiculous trim designations


grogee

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This feels like the sort of thing we'd have done before, but I'm lazy, so let's do it again. 

High on crack, the marketing departments convince themselves that these names are suitable to tell the public where their car sits in the model hierarchy. 

There's the common or garden:

Excite 

Edge

Active

Studio

Life

Comfort

Allure

 

Then there's the lesser spotted:

Move

Elite 

Titanium

MSport

Avantgarde

 

So I propose we lobby manufacturers for these in future iterations:

Custard

Drizzle

Fungal

Ghost 

Industrial Estate

Tarmac

Threepwood

Frangipane 

Tomato

 

You get the idea. 

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I was elated to spot this Citroen ZX Elation 8 years ago:

1995/6 Citroen ZX 1.9d Elation (1)

And there was the ironically named Nissan Bluebird Premium. Which was base spec with keep fit windows.

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Didn't do the Cupra (formed from the words Cup Racing) and then take it to ridiculous levels with the trim designations? Cupra R Racing Cup Edition or something... ie Cup Racing Racing Racing Cup etc etc.

Like Fast & Furious gearchanges, but with Cup and Racing

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Id like to think somwhere at some point, someone slightly subversive submitted an idea for the personal  LOL and it got sanctioned. As you say the blubird premium is a good call on that count, as is the micra wave.

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I think we need more real world flavour to the trim choices:

Land Rover Discovery Lateforschool

Fiat 500 Menopause

Audi Q7 Thrusting Tool

Ford Puma £300 PCM

BMW 1/2/3/4/5/6 Gopping

Tesla P90 Insufferable

Renault Kadjar Mobility Scheme

Alfa Romeo Guilia Multifix

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When they brought out the Vauxhall Adam, the three trim levels were Jam, Slam and Glam. The sporty 150bhp turbo version was simply called the S. Various trim levels and special editions were added afterwards.

The colours had daft names as well, including Saturday White Fever and Papa Don't Peach.

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36 minutes ago, HMC said:

 the micra wave.

Just remembered there's a Micra Dot too - slightly more subtle. Shame there's no Micra Fish

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Vauxhall Astra "Merit"

Wasn't there a Peugeot 205 GRDT which looked just like GROT from a short distance?

I think Beige or for that matter Ordinaire, would look quite nice in joined-up chrome script - maybe we could get some made up.

 

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Vauxhall ‘Life’ spec, that’s not living is it. I’d have it as follows

Disgusting

Poverty Plus

Velour

Decadence

No fucking about it tells you what it is so you know what you are getting. It’s only the same as when the council give streets really cheerful names when they’re building estates, they’d call it something like Sunshine Terrace when really it should have been called Systemic Failure Towers or Crack Walk. 

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Changed the boot lettering on my 1989  Range Rover to Hang Over by judicious use of a razor blade (Remember those - razor blades and 'proper' Land Rover products?)

My favourite is the Audi Thrusting Tool - cool

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1 hour ago, bunglebus said:

I think my favourite was the Micra Wave

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9 minutes ago, bunglebus said:

Just remembered there's a Micra Dot too - slightly more subtle. Shame there's no Micra Fish

1787298493_download(1).jpeg.bbaad3012c1cb2e5ec1e99f0d524c0e3.jpeg

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1 hour ago, bunglebus said:

I think my favourite was the Micra Wave

Just came here to post that. we had one brand new in 1994. Nice car and nice colour, silly name 

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I remember there being at least one Mk3 Astra LSD, due to someone in the factory making a slight error* with the badge spacing. Presumably they had realised you'd need to take something to liven the journey up a bit...

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Another from Vauxhall's hall of shame is the Corsa Expression. Poverty spec so it expressed utter misery and despair.

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8 minutes ago, CreepingJesus said:

I remember there being at least one Mk3 Astra LSD, due to someone in the factory making a slight error* with the badge spacing. Presumably they had realised you'd need to take something to liven the journey up a bit...

Ditto the 1990 - 1993 Vauxhall Nova Trip.

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