F**ked Black Rover 827 SLi - The Mistake Machine

[horriblemercedes]

  On 09/09/2023 at 10:56, grogee said:

It would also depend if a code is generated at all. 

Put yourself in Rover's shoes - how are they going to keep track of each code and VIN number, who keeps the record, how is it accessed when a dealer needs to know, how is it updated when a dealer fits a new module? 

Or, just have one code and fuggedabowdit

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I don't know how the codes are generated, but they aren't based on something that simple. It is a bit more sophisticated than that

[St.Jude]

  On 11/09/2023 at 10:57, DaveDorson said:

When you say won't turn over, are you getting any crank at all and no fire, or no crank whatsover?

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I’m getting sweet fuck all from it. I turn the key and I can hear a relay click but that’s it. It’s deader than a can of spam.

I am going to study the electrical diagram this week and see what else is there that could be amiss. The ECU light comes on and then goes off which indicates all of the checks it’s done are fine. So as far as the ECU is concerned, I think, there are no problems.

[Dave_Q]

Have you tried any dangerbodge stuff like trying to jump the battery directly to the starter with a jump lead?

If the ignition lights are doing the right dance and it's something on the starter circuit, as a first step to try and get it running you could bypass the whole thing and run your own circuit with a relay and a big red button labelled "startyabastard"

[loserone]

Am I missing why it's not something simple like the starter solenoid stuck, or the starter earth dead? 

 

Sorry if you checked all that five pages ago

[St.Jude]

  On 11/09/2023 at 12:17, loserone said:

Am I missing why it's not something simple like the starter solenoid stuck, or the starter earth dead? 

 

Sorry if you checked all that five pages ago

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.... well I mean, if I thought of checking that....

  On 11/09/2023 at 11:30, Dave_Q said:

Have you tried any dangerbodge stuff like trying to jump the battery directly to the starter with a jump lead?

If the ignition lights are doing the right dance and it's something on the starter circuit, as a first step to try and get it running you could bypass the whole thing and run your own circuit with a relay and a big red button labelled "startyabastard"

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I guess I will next time I'm at it after I've sorted my will.

[DaveDorson]

  On 11/09/2023 at 11:30, Dave_Q said:

Have you tried any dangerbodge stuff like trying to jump the battery directly to the starter with a jump lead?

If the ignition lights are doing the right dance and it's something on the starter circuit, as a first step to try and get it running you could bypass the whole thing and run your own circuit with a relay and a big red button labelled "startyabastard"

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Yeah, so the key thing to make sure it's all armed and then try and jump the solenoid to see if you can make it go.

I had a beetle with a duff ignition switch once that I ran a fat twin core cable through to a tractor start button that I used to make it go, it was a temporary measure that ended up just staying there 

[DaveDorson]

  On 11/09/2023 at 12:17, loserone said:

Am I missing why it's not something simple like the starter solenoid stuck, or the starter earth dead? 

 

Sorry if you checked all that five pages ago

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The starter will be earthed through its metal body onto a metal gearbox connected to a metal engine that'll be earthed with a big braided cable to the body somewhere.

[loserone]

Obviously I mean the live feed for the starter not the earth 😁🤦‍♂️

[RoverOver]

  On 11/09/2023 at 13:06, loserone said:

Obviously I mean the live feed for the starter not the earth 😁🤦‍♂️

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Had a sticky starter solenoid on a car once - used to carry a hammer in the footwell. If  I got the 'click', starter got a whack with the hammer. Was several months before I could be bothered to replace the starter. YMMV as to access though...

[loserone]

I had a heavy handled screwdriver which was perfect in my 205 before I fixed it for sale.  Jimbob McGregor also put a relay on for a new live line from the battery as that was degrading when hot - a common 205 trait.   Maybe not applicable to an 800, but I imagine there's commonality 

[mercedade]

I think if the immobiliser is stuck on, you get a red light on the dash (well, you do on the Mk2/facelift anyway).

You might also get a single parp from the horn when locking/unlocking - that'll tell you the immobiliser hasn't turned off

[St.Jude]

  On 12/09/2023 at 08:48, mercedade said:

I think if the immobiliser is stuck on, you get a red light on the dash (well, you do on the Mk2/facelift anyway).

You might also get a single parp from the horn when locking/unlocking - that'll tell you the immobiliser hasn't turned off

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I don't think I can see a red light on the dash (other than the oil and the ECU), and I don't get the parp from the horn.

Maybe there is no immobilizer then. I'll GLADLY take a hammer to the starter when I'm at it next and see if that does anything.

[mk2_craig]

I'd have thought this is two or three years too old for standard fit immobiliser. So hopefully that's one variable that can be eliminated. 

Tbh if you're not able to put in a proper fault finding session I'd say it's well worth getting a decent auto electrician on the case, as there seems to be multiple potentially fragile items that could be creating these issues.  There will no doubt be viable workarounds or substitute components that would get the car back in the game, but it needs a meticulous and methodical approach.  Otherwise, we're in guessing game territory here. 

[St.Jude]

  On 12/09/2023 at 10:08, mk2_craig said:

I'd have thought this is two or three years too old for standard fit immobiliser. So hopefully that's one variable that can be eliminated. 

Tbh if you're not able to put in a proper fault finding session I'd say it's well worth getting a decent auto electrician on the case, as there seems to be multiple potentially fragile items that could be creating these issues.  There will no doubt be viable workarounds or substitute components that would get the car back in the game, but it needs a meticulous and methodical approach.  Otherwise, we're in guessing game territory here. 

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This is, and always has been the problem. I knew I wouldn't have time for a basketcase car because of family commitments and having to spend time on the house. This was meant to be a runner and be great etc. But it's not, it's far from that relatively speaking. If you think that to get an MOT a car needs to be at least 20% as good as it was when it left the factory, I don't think we're in double digits with this. 

I agree that if I've not got the time to be methodical and go through every nut with it I should get an auto electrician. But that's money I'm not even going to entertain spending on this, I've not got it anyway. I can only see myself having a good block of time (like a day) to spend on this from Feb/March next year. It really can't stay not running that long either.

[St.Jude]

So here I am.

I have twatted the starter. No good.

I have a fresh battery. No good.

I have wiggled and jiggled the neutral selector thingy Bob after many clips snapped taking the centre console off, or at least trying to. No good.

It’s got to move on. My mom doesn’t want it here any longer and to be honest I’ve tried her patience with it. I’ve put it back on to the Rover 800 forum with a price and the truth that I can wait a few weeks but it’ll have to go one way or the other. If it comes to the latter then I’ll take the hard to find bits off of it, like the exhaust, but no. It’s time for this to go and move on.

Anyone here want to start 2024 with this streaky black piece of misery?

[St.Jude]

Well, someone has given me £100 deposit for it.

Now we wait!

[Dick Cheeseburger]

  On 20/01/2024 at 13:04, St.Jude said:

Well, someone has given me £100 deposit for it.

Now we wait!

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Always liked this one. Is it staying on here? 

[St.Jude]

  On 20/01/2024 at 13:32, Dick Longbridge said:

Always liked this one. Is it staying on here? 

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I don’t think it is no. But I will recommend the fella to come on here, as he has a Morris Minor Cop car.

[shampooefficient]

I'm sure you could write some legal nonsense and make it a condition of sale.

And that he has to post regular updates.

[St.Jude]

I still have the car. It’s still on the driveway. I’ve given this wanker two deadlines (the last one is today). I’ve given him Ceri’s number to facilitate moving it, and I’ve had nothing concrete from him. Other than a £100 deposit.

He messaged me on Thursday 2pm asking if he could pick it up “now” basically. Ignoring how I’ve told him to give me an idea as to when I would expect him with plenty of notice as the car is miles away from me. I said no, but Friday afternoon I’d be there. He said no as his work is unpredictable.

Fed up of this shit, I told him in no uncertain terms the car needed to go by the 18th Feb. Which is today. It’s 12:35pm and other than an “Ok” on Thursday to my message - I’ve nothing from the cunt.

I will message the two others who showed interest in it and see if they still want it and it needs going.

I hate people. Genuinely.

[SEATMad]

  On 18/02/2024 at 12:36, St.Jude said:

I still have the car. It’s still on the driveway. I’ve given this wanker two deadlines (the last one is today). I’ve given him Ceri’s number to facilitate moving it, and I’ve had nothing concrete from him. Other than a £100 deposit.

He messaged me on Thursday 2pm asking if he could pick it up “now” basically. Ignoring how I’ve told him to give me an idea as to when I would expect him with plenty of notice as the car is miles away from me. I said no, but Friday afternoon I’d be there. He said no as his work is unpredictable.

Fed up of this shit, I told him in no uncertain terms the car needed to go by the 18th Feb. Which is today. It’s 12:35pm and other than an “Ok” on Thursday to my message - I’ve nothing from the cunt.

I will message the two others who showed interest in it and see if they still want it and it needs going.

I hate people. Genuinely.

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£100 is a lot of money to then just fuck someone around. Sorry you're going through this shit. Hopefully you can get it shifted soon.

[Missy Charm]

Final thought: could this be anything to do with the brakes?  My parents' automatic car won't start without the brake pedal being depressed.  Would something like the Rover have a similar system?  

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Shame there isn't much love on here for these old things. I'd lob a couple of quid in the pot for a group buy, but I'd imagine OP just wants the ungrateful old swine gone. 

[EyesWeldedShut]

  On 18/02/2024 at 13:48, Missy Charm said:

Final thought: could this be anything to do with the brakes?  My parents' automatic car won't start without the brake pedal being depressed.  Would something like the Rover have a similar system?  

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Had that in the past - brake light fuse blows. no startee automatic motor - could be worth a look

[edit] - that was a singsong with MB running gear - fuel pump did not kick in either until fuse replaced

[St.Jude]

  On 18/02/2024 at 12:55, SEATMad said:

£100 is a lot of money to then just fuck someone around. Sorry you're going through this shit. Hopefully you can get it shifted soon.

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I thought that too. But then maybe he thinks because he has that deposit he can pick and choose when to collect it to suit him. Which is fair enough if I was explicit that the thing needs to go.

My problem here is I think everyone is like me and when I say I’ll buy it I hand the cash over and don’t take the piss. What I should’ve done was tell all the interested parties the address and whoever showed up first with the cash and trailer could take it. 

I won’t entertain this deposit bullshit ever again.

  On 18/02/2024 at 13:48, Missy Charm said:

Final thought: could this be anything to do with the brakes?  My parents' automatic car won't start without the brake pedal being depressed.  Would something like the Rover have a similar system?  

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Fairly sure I’ve tried that, several times.

  On 18/02/2024 at 13:56, Dick Longbridge said:

Shame there isn't much love on here for these old things. I'd lob a couple of quid in the pot for a group buy, but I'd imagine OP just wants the ungrateful old swine gone. 

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Listen whoever turns up with £500 and a trailer can have the fucking thing.

[SEATMad]

  On 19/02/2024 at 10:15, St.Jude said:

I thought that too. But then maybe he thinks because he has that deposit he can pick and choose when to collect it to suit him. Which is fair enough if I was explicit that the thing needs to go.

My problem here is I think everyone is like me and when I say I’ll buy it I hand the cash over and don’t take the piss. What I should’ve done was tell all the interested parties the address and whoever showed up first with the cash and trailer could take it. 

I won’t entertain this deposit bullshit ever again.

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Yeah I'm the same thinking, its a curtesy thing more than anything. People are far too quick to take the piss these days. Seems like this has all been a rather shit ordeal. Sorry you have to go through it buddy

[St.Jude]

  On 19/02/2024 at 10:28, SEATMad said:

Yeah I'm the same thinking, its a curtesy thing more than anything. People are far too quick to take the piss these days. Seems like this has all been a rather shit ordeal. Sorry you have to go through it buddy

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It is what it is. I’ve learned a lot, more about my head than the technicalities of a Rover.

[SEATMad]

  On 19/02/2024 at 10:33, St.Jude said:

It is what it is. I’ve learned a lot, more about my head than the technicalities of a Rover.

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Know the feeling mate, been there, done that, got the T-shirt 😂 onto better things 

[Dobloseven]

Sorry, couldn't help but smile when a link came up to another thread where the previous owner referred to it as "his mistress"!

[Skcat]

Such a shame. But i get it, Ive had three 800's and every time i spent loads of money and time on them only to find I cant shift them for what i bought them for not even factoring the work ive out into them. It seems the only people who like 800's have three of them and always overvalue them.