Grogee's spannering (Maestro, Avensis & Favorit). ROOOOAAAAADDD TTTRRRIIIIPPPPP

[grogee]

FAIL. Emissions too high... 

[Andyrew]

Close?

Did the tester offer any suggestions?

[Stinkwheel]

Bribery an option? 

[grogee]

After the MoT fail I stuffed the Skoda in my lockup to force it to think about its past actions. 

In truth I didn't really know what to do, and the MoT has expired so it's off the road. 

I have ummed and aahed about selling it as a project (hit me up if you're interested) but I will give it one last chance at survival.

My theory for the rich running is that there is no MAF in the intake, so the ECU is defaulting to a 'safe' rich mixture. 

I got to thinking how I'd install a MAF into my home-made intake, then 

@JMotor@JMotor alerted me to the existence of this:

It should* then be a simple* case of buying a MAF then soldering on wires to the MAF terminals then wiring it into the ECU as per the electrical diagram. 

Then I'll try it for one last MoT, more to get the emissions readings than anything else. 

Either way, after this experiment it'll be Fur Shale, as I can't justify three cars any more. 

[grogee]

The best thing to do when one of your fleet is out of action, is to work on one of the other vehicles. 

This makes the lame car jealous and more likely to fix itself. 

To this end, I got busy with the Maestro this morning. It got a coat of 'Zirconite ZG 365 Graphene Infused Coating', a snip at £28 for 200ml.

It sounds very snake oil-y but actually I've had pretty good results with it. I've decided that (based on zero evidence) this is the stuff that car dealers charge £400 for as 'paint protector' (perhaps someone in the trade can enlighten me). 

It's easy to apply and best of all, it doesn't matter if it goes on glass, plastic, whatever - in fact on glass it's a bit like Rain-X until it wears off. As the name suggests, it's supposed to last a year, although it probably doesn't hurt to apply more often. 

It does seem to last well and leaves that satisfying slidy feel to the paintwork. In fact I dosed the nu_Mrs Grogee's new Rennow Captur with it, having persuaded her to turn down the salesman's £400 paint protector offer. 

As icing on the cake I stuck on one of those old Paddy Hopkirk blind spot mirrors that I found. The reflective surface has deteriorated but it's still good enough for me to determine 'CAR' vs 'NO CAR' at a glance. The standard flat mirrors aren't all that great, and I've seen a few convex glasses offered but they're always £too much. 

Then after I watched Plymouth Argyle lose again, I went back into the garage to make a gasket for the new oil pump I sourced a while ago. The bolt holes still need punching but I bought a hollow punch set for £5 off Amazon which is coming tomorrow. 

Fiddly but satisfying. When I fit the pump, do I need to prime it somehow? 

[grogee]

Some light tinkering tonight, taking advantage of a rare dry spell. 

I managed to track down the correct decals for the rear of the Maestro, in the correct colour. There were a few variations on the badging through the production run but I've been using this stock image as a reference:

Used a China pencil to give myself some centering lines to get it straight-ish. 

I've also ordered a dealer sticker from a Mini spares place that was able to make a passable copy from my photo of the original 'Rowstocks' sticker. 

Unfortunately this meant I had to remove the dealer sticker attached to the replacement tailgate I fitted early this year. 

It was a brittle powdery mess and needed a Stanley blade and a lot of force to remove. 

Then I moved on to the oil pump gasket - the hole punches I ordered arrived so I was able to cut clean bolt holes and it's ready to fit now. 

The Skoda is on life support now. My plan is to fit a MAF and wire it into the ECU, in the hope the engine will run less rich and allow it to pass emissions. 

Of course I don't have any harness or connector so I've made this home-made effort to allow it to be fitted but also removed/changed if need be. 

Then I'll throw it in for another test - of course I have no way of measuring the emissions myself, so it'll be yet another £50 MoT to find out if it's worked. 

It all feels a bit 'sunk cost fallacy' but it's a gamble I can afford, if it fails though it's curtains for Sammy Skoda. 

[rainagain]

Can’t you ask around for a friendly tester? I found one the old fashioned way via someone in the pub. He would turn a blind eye to emissions but nothing else, which was fair enough. He sorted me out when I had a car with a de-cat pipe. 

[Matty]

1 hour ago, rainagain said:

Can’t you ask around for a friendly tester? I found one the old fashioned way via someone in the pub. He would turn a blind eye to emissions but nothing else, which was fair enough. He sorted me out when I had a car with a de-cat pipe. 

Plus hundred on this. Be such a shame to to see an interesting thing like this get moved on to a less sympathetic owner.

I had a mk3 golf gti with a load of mods. The changes id made to the exhaust meant it failed the emissions test year on. 

Our MOT tester wouldn't have ever passed it if it wasn't safe. But for the emissions he used to bring a ringer in. Doesn't make it right id agree.but on the other hand over a couple of thousand miles a year, how much harm is it doing.

Tldr, find someone maleable.

[grogee]

@Matty and @rainagain if either of you know a friendly tester, I'll drive it to yours! Wherever that is. 

[rainagain]

He’s dead easy to find he works in a garage in Fife

Sadly I found out he’s retired as I tried a few years back to book a test for someone I know. 

[Matty]

Its like the holy grail or a pint of unicorn piss these days. You're basically trying to find a man who doesn't fuck about or cut corners but is willing to test a vehicle with an understanding of what it is. Not breaking the rules per se but being maleable with them.

[Matty]

Could be worse. Imagine how you'd feel about the current Skoda situation without that absolutely fit as fire Maestro to cheer you up @grogee

[mercedade]

If you think the distance is doable (Stalybridge) drop me a PM. The guy I use is very sympathetic to cars I bring in, and works pretty fucking hard to get cars through emissions. 

What kind of levels are we looking at at the moment? 

[grogee]

On Saturday I went for a drive in the Maestro to go and visit @Cluffy and see I I could help his Jag audio woes. 

Not sure I helped an awful lot but it was a pleasant drive and I got to listen to some CASSETTES, which as we know are mankind's single most impressive innovation. 

This week I've got a couple of days WFH so I'm using the opportunity to spend some time at the nu_Mrs Grogee's house. 

It's an hour and a quarter across the M6 so the Maestro isn't the obvious vehicle choice for the journey, but next weekend I've got a Road Trip to Wales with some mates who will also be taking their 'fun' cars.

Because I'd like to make sure it's running reliably and not doing that thing where it cuts out, I've rigged up a multimeter to the fuel pump feed. Of course since I've done this it hasn't cut out at all so maybe I've disturbed some contacts or something that's fixed the issue? 

Either way no issues and the Maestro got to the Black Country just fine. 

[AnnoyingPentium]

@grogee I might have a wee cassette storage case here you can have if you want to stop them all entering orbit when you drive the Maestro as MG intended...

[grogee]

2 hours ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

@grogee I might have a wee cassette storage case here you can have if you want to stop them all entering orbit when you drive the Maestro as MG intended...

Thank you Ryan, that would come in handy, let me know what I owe you for postage! 

I mustard mitt I don't really drive it hard. On a good day with light traffic on a decent road I might press on a bit but generally in traffic I just drive smoothly and fairly steadily.

Sometimes I stop and think that some of the bits that are keeping me from certain death are 38 years old and that makes me slow down a bit... 

This weekend will be a fun trip to Dollgellau and Portmerion, good roads for sure even though the weather forecast is shite. One of my road trip posse is in a Yaris GR, the other in an Elise so the MG will get a work out for sure. 

[grogee]

On 07/09/2025 at 08:05, mercedade said:

If you think the distance is doable (Stalybridge) drop me a PM. The guy I use is very sympathetic to cars I bring in, and works pretty fucking hard to get cars through emissions. 

What kind of levels are we looking at at the moment? 

I'll send pics when I get home. They're quite far out.

Annoyingly the two tests used different units for the emissions levels so it's not intuitive to compare - but both were hard fails. 

[Cluffy]

7 hours ago, grogee said:

 

What a desperately flattering photo of us.....

[grogee]

On a road trip with a couple of mates to Dolgellau. It's a four hour drive and we took the scenic route which avoids motorways. 

It did eventually become a fun drive although lots of town centres on a Friday evening was a bit slow. 

Weather is predictably damp. 

The Maestro has developed an interesting new issue - after having given it some beans, the temperature needle dropped from its customary halfway position to 1/4ish. Heater output was weak too. 

We stopped for a drink and I checked hoses and coolant, all still present and correct. And it's running OK too, so I think the thermostat has failed open. 

It's had a new stat not that long ago (maybe 3 years max) so it's a bit crap that it's failed although it is almost certainly a Chinese pattern part. 

Luckily not a big job to replace, I just need to be a bit selective about what brand I replace it with. Any suggestions? I might even browse Rimmer bros to see if they have a Unipart one. 

Otherwise it coped admirably with the long trip. It seems to be doing the cutting out thing once right after start up, then not at all, which is good I suppose. I just don't like the thought of it failing during a scary manoeuvre eg right turn across a dual carriageway. 

My mates are driving a Lotus Elise and Yaris GR, both of which are cheating in my view. Although the Lotus isn't waterproof, so kudos to my mate Adam for putting up with it. 

[grogee]

Ordered a Gates stat. 

[Matty]

Plenty of car photos pls @grogee

[Noel Tidybeard]

now you are having fun FFS undo the elephant trunk on the airbox for at least one day and tell me you didn't grin like an absolute goon

[grogee]

18 minutes ago, Noel Tidybeard said:

now you are having fun FFS undo the elephant trunk on the airbox for at least one day and tell me you didn't grin like an absolute goon

I did try this before, but it was in the Unbearably Loud exhaust days - so any benefit may have been drowned out. 

Given that it's one cable clamp to undo AND I brought a 'just in case' toolkit, I'll go and do it now

[grogee]

3 hours ago, Matty said:

Plenty of car photos pls @grogee

Disappointingly I don't have many car shots but we did just go to Portmerion. 

[grogee]

@Matty

[grogee]

@Noel Tidybeard

[Noel Tidybeard]

11 minutes ago, grogee said:

@Noel Tidybeard

it wil growl/gurgle a little like someting with a weber! 🤭

[Matty]

1 hour ago, grogee said:

@Matty

Ill take it its running like a little top