FatHarris - tales of a motoring moron - ***An emotional homecoming 1/2***

[Stinkwheel]

9 hours ago, fatharris said:

Whilst Herman *has* been somewhat repaired to the best of my ability, I still felt it prudent to resort to Plan B for the weekly commute to work this weekend.

Or should that be Plan B(X)?

Yep, time to get the Citroen out and earning it's keep again. It's not really turned a wheel since Rustival but it was fully working when put under a cover and I saw no reason for it to be any different when I uncovered it.

Unfortunately, the plucky Frenchie had other ideas.

With the majority of my warning lights not working, I elected to check all the fuses and engine bay connectors to check for something obvious. No luck found.

So, the instrument cluster came out.

All the connections were removed, gently sanded and cleaned, as well as the cluster side sockets.

And when that didn't work, I reseated all of the individual bulb holders.

Success!

In between stages of this task, I went for a quick check of the lights and indicators.

This also went well.

Yep, the 30 year old plastic handle came off in my hand. Thankfully, I had a spare stalk in my spares pile.

With the levels and pressures checked, we were off!

And I needn't have worried about the BX, it made the 250+ mile journey with no issues at all.

The journey wasn't quite so successful for my mate though, he left Redruth at half 3, and got a TPMS warning on his 3 series just outside Launceston, an hour away from his start point.

Two front tyres, worn to fuck all on the extremities of the inner edge.

£500 bill incoming a mobile tyre fitter and he'd still not set off six hours after he pulled in, whereas we'd set off two hours after him, stopped en route to drop him some food off, stopped for a meal ourselves later on and finished our journey in the same time.

Eeeesh.

BX to the rescue, I approve

[Marshall2810]

More BX action shots please 

[fatharris]

56 minutes ago, Marshall2810 said:

More BX action shots please 

Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun and the BX rewarded me with a popped off gear linkage this evening.

Luckily, I've pushed it back on with a section of carrier bag to pad it out and that seems to have worked but it's a good lesson in not being so smug 😅

[fatharris]

This week was a bit of a stress.

First off, the gear linkage rod popped off again, not too big an issue, but it happened during rush hour in Salisbury and the exhaust was really rather hot 😅

The other issue was really rather unexpected.

When I did the work package on the BX, I elected to replace the rubber fuel lines, as most of them were the original units so it seemed sensible to change them.

This is their condition, six months later.

This has only ever had E5 fuel, so it's bloody shocking to see such degradation in such a short time frame. It was bought from a motor factors too, but it'll be getting binned and fitted with Gates hose ASAP.

[rusty_vw_man]

Nasty - the R6 is often sold as suitable for ethanol, but it does seem to rot pretty quick, I had some do the same. Outer seems to go before the inner layer.

Either gates or R9 rated does seem to last much better, for me at least. 

Right arse though isn’t it when you’ve gone to the effort of changing it for safety only to find it looking ropier than the old stuff you took off. 

[fatharris]

Well it's been a month, so time to catch this up.

The BX has been parked up with a dehumidifier in it until I get around to fitting the new fuel hoses, so Herman's been picking up the slack, and did so admirably, carrying four blokes and their kit around various parts of the country for a week. We then enjoyed a brief spell of rest for Xmas.

We enjoyed muddy walks:

Pottered around Mousehole where I got a lovely shot of a battered ZX:

Saw a play about the Mousehole Cat:

Took in some Banger Racing with @twosmoke300 including the E-Type which lasted minutes few.

Shout out to this LDV, it was a proper crowd pleaser and made three rounds of getting absolutely hammered!

And enjoyed a visit to the aquarium!

As for Herman, he blew a headlight bulb - the first one in 11 years, so I can't complain! Did notice the internal wiring outer sheathing was starting to crack, so I've taped it up to prevent shorting.

I then injured my back clearing out the village river storm drain, which was definitely not helpful.

On the way back up to work, the ABS light came back on, then went away the following drive so I think it just had a wobbly.

It came to the final day of my course, we loaded up my kit, and the kit of the two other guys I was bringing home.

Aaaaaand....

Battery went flat after being parked up for nearly a fortnight. Think this was my fault, but the boot had to be emptied and the battery put on charge before we could head home. Possibly linked to the central locking not working in the door lock, but it's doing okay now.

Ah well, that's the luck of the draw eh?

[fatharris]

Another update of little substance - I'm just not overflowing with spare time to tinker these days.

However, MrsH did complain that the washer jets on the Laguna were acting weird, doing half-hearted squirts on the screen which were useless.

eBay came up trumps for a replacement screen wash pump @£10 - bloody bargain!

The workshop manual for the Laguna said access to the pump would be gained by removing the undertrays. Problem with that was that the fasteners were doing fuck all in helping to get out, so I elected to take a different route.

Access to the pump through the fog light hole was tight and blind, but after a bit of nimble fingering, the pump was swapped out.

After that, I topped the tank back up and the washer jets were back to their normal selves.

That's a nice quick and easy win 😎

Cheers all

[fatharris]

Small update, but a positive one.

Finally pulled my finger and my wallet out, and purchased the parts needed to fix the BX - namely a set of gear linkage rods, a fuel filler neck gasket set with fixings, a new set of fuel hoses (this time, I went with Gates barricade, 4ft 8mm, 1ft 6mm), a brass pipe reducer/joiner and a fuel filter.

Looks a bit cluttered with so many jubilee clips, but it's leak-free and won't perish again!

The next job was the gear linkage rod - as mentioned previously, it randomly started popping off, so I kept it on by adding a couple of layers of carrier bag and slamming it back on 😅. 

Obviously the length had to match so accuracy is key!

Unfortunately, whilst the long (faulty) rod was easily replaced, the short one wouldn't reach the same length as the original and was only held on with half a thread. Thankfully there's nothing wrong with that one.

I'll work on the other bits at a later date, I'm just happy to be using it again during this lovely weather. The LHM leak at the back isn't getting any better but it's still a manageable leak rate for the moment, and the fuel filler gasket will be replaced next time the OSR wheel has to come off.

Cheers 😎

[fatharris]

BX dailying is going well. It's always got me to work no dramas, but on the way home yesterday, the power steering got heavy at times, and eventually got heavy all the time on the driveway with a squeal from the belt.

Hopped under the bonnet and attempted an adjustment of the LHM belt - no such luck, the belt pulley was at max extension.

Guess it was time to dip my hands into my pockets and shell out for some replacement parts.

Namely, £8 for an LHM pump belt. You can see how old the fitted one was based on the old school font 😅

Thankfully, it was a quick and simple change, and less than 25 minutes later, the new one was fitted (I took some time to clean out the pulley grooves).

Quick fire up confirmed everything was working!

Sadly, the LHM leak at the OSR unit appears to be getting worse,. Whilst it's just had the first LHM top up in months, it's going to need some attention pretty soon.

[fatharris]

Christ, it's been a while since I've updated this thread.

With very good reason - I'm currently on the other side of the world with work.

Still, not going to let a silly little detail like that stop me, eh?

Before I left the country, my next door neighbour called over and let us know that her mum was giving up driving at 88, and as a result her Mondeo would be available. I've seen this Mondeo regularly as she would come down to Cornwall from Staffordshire, so I knew it was a good one.

If you're not blessed with the power of two working eyes, it's a 52 Plate Mondeo Ghia X estate, in 2.0 TDCi automatic flavour, resplendent in metallic beige. It has been with the previous owner since new as an ex-Demo since '03 and has racked up around 105k in that time. She even had it serviced last week to ensure it left her in tip-top condition.

MrsH will have to sort out the insurance and taxing before taking it out, but she seems very happy with it. MOT is due in October but it'll be getting dropped round Phills for a lookover at some point. The aircon even works! 

Never thought I'd see the day, being excited about a beige diesel automatic estate, but we live in strange times.

Currently, MrsH is using Herman to get around in - he's the only one with working aircon. That being said, Herman is at Phills this week as the boot strut has decided to disintegrate. Winner!

[Wibble]

53 minutes ago, fatharris said:

Christ, it's been a while since I've updated this thread.

With very good reason - I'm currently on the other side of the world with work.

Still, not going to let a silly little detail like that stop me, eh?

Before I left the country, my next door neighbour called over and let us know that her mum was giving up driving at 88, and as a result her Mondeo would be available. I've seen this Mondeo regularly as she would come down to Cornwall from Staffordshire, so I knew it was a good one.

If you're not blessed with the power of two working eyes, it's a 52 Plate Mondeo Ghia X estate, in 2.0 TDCi automatic flavour, resplendent in metallic beige. It has been with the previous owner since new as an ex-Demo since '03 and has racked up around 105k in that time. She even had it serviced last week to ensure it left her in tip-top condition.

MrsH will have to sort out the insurance and taxing before taking it out, but she seems very happy with it. MOT is due in October but it'll be getting dropped round Phills for a lookover at some point. The aircon even works! 

Never thought I'd see the day, being excited about a beige diesel automatic estate, but we live in strange times.

Currently, MrsH is using Herman to get around in - he's the only one with working aircon. That being said, Herman is at Phills this week as the boot strut has decided to disintegrate. Winner!

These are my favourite Mondeos, well bought!

[fatharris]

It's probably been noticed* that I've been really quiet on this thread over 2025.

Long story short, I've been away with work for over seven months to a whole manner of different countries. 

I very much missed my family in that time, but I managed to make the most of it whenever I had some downtime, so here's a few* photos from the trip in my various stops.

Starting with Crete, a fabulous place for a first stop to help get over the sadness of leaving the family behind. No shortage of choddy motors here!

My friends say I look like Pitbull with a shaved head so they gave me this lovely flag to take on my travels!

This ZR was the tidiest vehicle on the island!

There must have been a deal on HRVs back in the day because there was quite a few of them!

God knows how this survives, but it's still putting in a shift!

More to follow 😁

[2flags]

There's some proper chod out there! Some nice ones too.

[fatharris]

Chucking three countries in one post because there weren't enough photos to justify individual posts. There were also no choddy motors in two out of the three countries!

Oman. Not a fan.

Singapore.

A very nice place, if a bit police state-y. The Hawker centres were a culinary treat but the beer was very expensive!

Went to the world famous Raffles hotel to try their famous Singapore Sling cocktail.

I later ended up taking a masterclass in how to make one 😁

Went to a cat cafe because I was missing my moggie, made friends with a loaf.

Australia.

Loved this place a lot. We were in Darwin which is quite a small town but the people there were very friendly, but the sun was intense!

Bluey fans will know these 😁

The sea was crystal clear, ever inviting but given the propensity for shark attacks in the area, I stayed out 😅

The only Rover I saw on the Southern hemisphere!

Whilst out here, I bought myself a rare treat - an Akubra Cattleman hat. It was pricey but I adore it and it went with me everywhere. Still wearing it around the UK!

Moustache game was strong by this point too 😎

Biggest post to follow tomorrow - that one will be done over a couple of days 😁

 

[hairnet]

lancer want

no mot on crete then

 

[fatharris]

So, the big one, the stop I was the most excited for:

Japan.

We had three weeks here, around doing various work stuff as well, but around ten days completely off.

First impressions were good

Our first night ended up ticking two bucket list items off: we took over a karaoke bar, and had dinner served by a robot waiter.

The timelines a bit fuzzy based on pictures alone, but I was extra excited because I had my time off, and my best friend of over 20 years recently moved back to Tokyo, and I hadn't seen him in a while.

So, a quick train from Yokosuka to Ikebukuro

And we were reunited!

And so off we went for hijinks. I won't bore you with all the photos, but here's some highlights.

Spotted an S660 in the wild!

Very happy to have spotted a Kangoo!

The world famous Shibuya crossing

We went to a muscle mummy bar which was excellent, in addition to being all you can drink 😎

Went to an UP GARAGE which was supposed to be excellent for petrol heads.

Plenty of wheels there but was otherwise underwhelmed. Maybe I visited a bad one.

No shortage of hot wheels there!

Eventually, we took a bullet train to Kyoto and met up with another friend to see the sights!

Just after this spot, we went to this little jazz bar and got shit faced on mojitos 😅

More to follow 😁

 

[fatharris]

Japan continues!

We had a day trip to Osaka, wish I'd stayed longer as the food was excellent!

We then went to a car museum.

This giant gundam was pretty neat

Shibuya crossing (again). The madness has a sort of logic to it.

My mate then took me to a car photographers exhibit, with a special centrepiece...

A Beat! Was dead chuffed to finally spot one, and it turned out we already follow each other on Instagram 😅

We then went to the the TeamLabs digital art museum. This was quite popular with social media influencers and I was suspecting it would be a waste of time.

It wasn't, it was bloody brilliant and I went round it twice 😅

Always ponder the orb.

It's a bloody mad place, but it works. Small pubs and restaurants thrive because the taxation on food and booze etc is low, food is cheap and everyone is friendly.

More to follow 😁

[fatharris]

Well, we've done the cars, the sights, what could possibly be left?

How about some Japanese oddity?

These capsule machines are everywhere, to the point where there are entire buildings dedicated to these machines, containing tiny models of various items within a category.

So, what treats are within these machines?

How about...

Tiny watch rings?

I dipped in massively, and won the F91-W 😍

'Don't talk to me or my son ever again'

Networking equipment

Toyota Soarers of various colours

Moomin stuff (My daughter was chuffed when I brought her home)

How about a wheelchair?

Not fast enough for you? 

How about a racing wheelchair?

You'll need a helmet to go with it though.

Tiny laptop.

Clock.

A phone case.

Long reach lighters.

Soap.

Frog.

Instant coffee stick.

Swivel chairs.

Shoes.

Welly boots.

Bin.

Sleeping bags.

Billy Joel.

WiFi routers.

Hot sauce.

Salad.

Laundry pouches.

Playstation games.

Salarymen.

Finally, why not get a capsule machine, from the capsule machine?

Another oddity is Pachinko.

No point asking me how to play, I have zero idea, but it turned out I was quite good at it! You don't win money, just more balls, but you can exchange it for prizes.

My prize?

Yep, precious metals 😁

We passed a Harry Potter exhibit.

Why have sorting hat, when I already have excellent hat?

My mate and I went to the Sky tower which shows the vastness of Tokyo.

We also passed the Asahi brewery HQ, which was designed to look like a frothy beer 😎

And that's a wrap on Japan - I had hundreds more photos but it's time to move on 😁

[hairnet]

1 hour ago, fatharris said:

Clock.

 

doc browns.

clock.

[fatharris]

I'll rattle through the next two, as after Japan, we headed for home

Singapore again!

Just as enjoyable as last time, although I did drink a lot more this time around!

The helix bridge is a marvel of engineering, and they were setting up for the upcoming Singapore GP whilst we were there.

Worlds largest indoor waterfall

Overall, Singapore was a win. It was pricey for a pint but it was safe, clean and lovely.

Everything my next stop wasn't.

India.

There's a lot of memes/stereotypes about India, but let my first view off the jetty be a good indicator.

Christ.

Against my better judgement, we were in Goa and myself and a mate decided to book a hotel for a few nights in a more....rural part of Goa. £50 for three nights.

Given the stories about the high levels of road fatalities on India's roads, we were overjoyed to find out the journey to the town would take about three hours. Here's some photos of the journey.

I did spot that Tata clearly bought the design of the Renault Traffic though.

Also, the locals attitude to litter was appalling, it was genuinely all over the place.

By the time the bus dropped us off, 2 miles from our hotel, it was nightfall and we had to navigate through the streets on foot in a country where the roads don't really have rules.

HOWEVER.

We did have a lovely curry at the hotel, the meal and several beers came to £8 in total.

I was extra diligent and didn't get the trots either, the locals themselves seemed really friendly and we were shown round the market by one person which was decent.

India wasn't as bad as I was expecting, but I won't be going back in a hurry 😅

[fatharris]

Let's rattle through this again.

Went back to Oman. Still shite.

Crete:

 

Already did this on the way out and enjoyed it - enjoyed it in a similar vein the second time around. Would definitely bring MrsH there for a holiday.

Italy:

Never been before, enjoyed it a lot. Initially started in Naples which was all right, then onto Rome with my mate.

Went to the oldest Irish bar in Rome (it was only 46 years old 😅)

Vatican City:

Technically counts as a different country. Not a religious man, but the buildings are interesting to say the least and the view is class.

Gibraltar:

Very friendly place, basically a warmer, more close knit Britain. Plays very heavily on their duty free status, with tobacconists and bottle shops heavily dotted through their streets. A few days is all you need there really, and it was the last kicking I gave my liver.

After that, it was the home stretch!

 

[fatharris]

Eventually, after seven and a half months, we finally came home to some fanfare.

MrsH and the kids had travelled up to Portsmouth to be on the jetty when the ship came in and was approached by BBCs 'The One Show' to be interviewed and capture our reunion on camera. 

I've snipped out the pertinent points into a GIF and got to see myself powernecking the wife on national telly 😁 I could see the wife and kids whilst the ship was coming into harbour and got lucky to be one of the first ones off the ship.

(Ignore the sassy, pissed off three year old - they'd all spent several hours outside in 3c temperatures - I'd popped down to the warm mess for a beer whilst they finished tying the ship to the shore😅)

With that done, it was time to lug several very heavy souvenir-filled bags to the car and head back home. 

Naturally, I hadn't driven a car in seven months so I did the journey, which was my first drive of the Mondeo.

Initial impressions weren't great, it took me as long as reversing it out of the parking space to realise something didn't feel quite right with the steering, but it got us home.

In the following days, the kids got to see what KitKats I brought home - Japan being famed for having many, many different flavours available.

And I emptied the contents of one of the other heavy bags, showcasing some booze from around the world 🤣

(These have all long since been consumed, with the exception of the Shochu and the Sake)

Whilst I'd been away, MrsH had reduced the number of cars on the road down to just Herman and the Mondeo, but I'll cover that in the next update to bring everything back up to speed.

Either way, I was super happy to be home with my family once again. My only regret was I didn't get the Beat engine rebuild kit in Japan which was my original plan but I was having too much fun to stop!

[loserone]

Have you ever used that 'tache to make a ghost laugh? 

[The Vicar]

Great pictures, that was a very enjoyable scroll. Especially the Rome spots, I recognise most of them - you were around my stomping ground 😀

[Matty]

What is your job @fatharris and how can i get one? 🤣

[fatharris]

Great pictures, that was a very enjoyable scroll. Especially the Rome spots, I recognise most of them - you were around my stomping ground

Wow, it is a small world after all!

I was pleasantly surprised to see so many classic/older motors just being used and I really liked Rome, think I got there at a good time as it wasn't *overly* crawling with tourists

[fatharris]

On 01/02/2026 at 21:45, Matty said:

What is your job [mention=18190]fatharris[/mention] and how can i get one? 

  been doing it for over 15 years and this has been my longest trip by far.

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, fatharris said:

 whilst they finished tying the ship to the shore😅)

Seasoned sailors know all the correct jargon! 😀

Well done, chap. 

[Brigsy]

Great pics, looks like a mega trip. Japan looks epic.

[Noel Tidybeard]

The Tata Winger is a light commercial van produced by the Indian automaker Tata Motors since 2007.^[1] It is a rebadged version of the Renault Trafic Mk1 Phase 3 van,^[2] but fitted with Tata's own diesel four-cylinder engines.