The grumpy thread

[55bloke]

[CortinaDave]

Dunc, I'm with you on that. Horses are just crap. We don't need them anymore because we have cars now so they can feck off.

[Timewaster]

I've had horses put into the field next to me and they have destroyed my solar lights, my bird table, my bird feeders and are now tring to destroy the fence to get to even more of my garden than they have already eaten

[VWPowered]

my misses loves her horses, take them away from her would be like taking my internet away,

[myglaren]

I thought horses were extinct. Have they started making them again?

[shite_meister]

why are there owners almost enevitably arseholes?

So true, I'm surrounded by the twunts and they're favourite trick is to leave masses of piles of steaming horse shit at the top of our drive on the lane when they take them out inevitably in rush-hour traffic, I've often thought about following them home then getting my arse-piece out in front of their house and having a big crap. Once they let their hoss shit on a hot day and it stank. Thing is I have to swing the car in to the right as its a narrow drive on a narrow lane and they'd done it on the apex so I had to drive through it creating shit tracks right outside my door.Horse owners who let their hoss shit everywhere boil my wee-wee, in fact its mainly the stuck-up bastards on the backs that irritate me more.Horses for main courses

[myglaren]

why are there owners almost enevitably arseholes?

So true, I'm surrounded by the twunts and they're favourite trick is to leave masses of piles of steaming horse shit at the top of our drive on the lane when they take them out inevitably in rush-hour traffic, I've often thought about following them home then getting my arse-piece out in front of their house and having a big crap. Once they let their hoss shit on a hot day and it stank. Thing is I have to swing the car in to the right as its a narrow drive on a narrow lane and they'd done it on the apex so I had to drive through it creating shit tracks right outside my door.Horse owners who let their hoss shit everywhere boil my wee-wee, in fact its mainly the stuck-up bastards on the backs that irritate me more.Horses for main courses

I was at a Mylène Farmer concert in Brussels recently. As I left, there was a French girl shouting very Frenchly at me, turned to see what she wanted and tramped through a huge pile of steaming horse crap* - which she had been warning me about, in French of course, which I do not speak.Made for a comedy moment - she seemed to enjoy it anyway.*left by a police horse.

[M'coli]

Regardez le merde du chevallier, or somesuch horseshit?Horses that are made to work - draught horses, cart horses etc - should be the only ones allowed to shit on the roads and bridleways. Those that are pets, ie for people to ride them for leisure, should have to heve thir owners clean up after them, same as people with dogs.

[whitevanman]

Regardez le merde du chevallier, or somesuch horseshit?Horses that are made to work - draught horses, cart horses etc - should be the only ones allowed to shit on the roads and bridleways. Those that are pets, ie for people to ride them for leisure, should have to heve thir owners clean up after them, same as people with dogs.

Aye I'm with you on that one.........any way got hold of the person who was up to tend to therir needs just 20 mins ago............"fuck all I can do about it, not my horses those ones, mine are the two over there and they wouldn't do that"Like the big brown bastard? "aye"well thats the fucker that ate the bird table............." I'll see the bloke that I rent the field of and ask him to sort something out"Your horse? your problem arsehole.................the end result is that the bloke that rents the field of my Landlord is gonna get it in the ear from me and the Landlord on Tuesday when he gets here from Sweden AND if that doesn't work I'm gonna put Razor wire down the fence and leave the gates open.......Bastard Dog food

[55bloke]

Christ!! Having lived for 20 odd years in the countryside, where horses are everywhere and just accepted as part of everyday life, I'd no idea that they aroused such horror!! I have seen horses hauling tourists round York in open carriages, and they were all fitted with a sack to catch their crap to prevent the roads being knee deep in the stuff!

[shite_meister]

I was at a Mylène Farmer concert in Brussels recently. As I left, there was a French girl shouting very Frenchly at me, turned to see what she wanted and tramped through a huge pile of steaming horse crap* - which she had been warning me about, in French of course, which I do not speak.Made for a comedy moment - she seemed to enjoy it anyway.*left by a police horse.

brilliant!

[ChinaTom]

I'm in the countryside here so get used to the clippety clop and pulling over on the lanes to let dayglo Penelope past unruffled.But, I do get very grumpy about the training school on the little lane between me and the A11. Until recently there were little signs at the entry to the lane requesting motorists to find alternative routes as they didn't take kindly to cars traveling past their farm. Obvious bollocks to that.They will actually shout abuse at motorists even when they pull over and let the horses pass to which I politely extend a middle finger and compliment the animal.If horses carrying kids can't deal with passing cars - keep them in the paddock and walk them on the other side of the bloody hedge until they are OK with it.Once again, it is the people, not the animals. Magnificent beasts, silly owners.

[dollywobbler]

Very true China Tom. Stupidest behaviour I've ever seen is some dimwitted cow on a horse trying to ride down a 70mph dual carriageway. Her friend was on the verge - which was enormous but this silly bint was clearly very pissed off that people refused to slow down. I felt so sorry for the horse. Clearly more intelligent than the person riding it...My Dad's Lynx Bronze Montego estate once got kicked by a nervous horse. Quite why this obviously car-shy beast was being forced to tow a trap I don't know but despite passing as wide and slowly as he dared (two wheels on the verge, clutch-slippingly slowly) the thing reared up and kicked out. Lucky to get away with a dented tailgate...E740 KOY, where are you now? First car I drove after passing my test...

[j-j]

cow on a horse

[retrogeezer]

Manflu....I feel like shit today...

[shite_meister]

Manflu....I feel like shit today...

Me too, I booked Friday off work and felt like shite so I've wasted not only my weekend but a day of my holidays too. Arse.

[trigger]

My old neighbour years ago before he died was driving his old Mk 1 Orion along the country road that we lived on when a horse he was passing kicked up and landed on his bonnet denting it, He tried to claim of his insurance company but i seem to remember him being told that they wouldn't pay out as horses have priority over cars on the road as horses were about first.I hate them as well.

[Cavcraft]

Only ever had a couple of instances with wanky horse riders: one was a complete and utter cock and gave me a volly full of abuse for no reason after I'd slowed right down and pulled over.Verbal exchange continued and he called me a 'peasant'. So (not clever I know) I let him get a few hundred yards away and wheelspinned after him blaring the horn. The horse went absolutely nuts and was buckarooing all over the place. I hope the bastard fell off but didn't hang round to find out.The next time was when some red coated wankers got annoyed because I had had the audacity to be taking a tacho break in a layby and they wanted to get in the field behind me. I told them to go and copulate themslves and stayed put.Some gobshite (probably called Tarquin) got a bit brave and issued a few threats so I felt obliged to tell him if he didn't piss off in the new few seconds I'd drive my 7.5 tonne box van straight at him and didn't intend to brake.*Doesn't help that I have a major problem with people who wear red coats and go on horses.

[retrogeezer]

I don't understand why horse riders insist on using the roads either.....risking their own lives and those of others. Horses feet were not designed for the road, they are for fields and surely there are enough fields for them?I saw a horse that had been hit by a car once, blind bend and no way the car could have avoided the collision....dead horse, inured rider and traumatised car driver. Stupid and dangerous.I always wanted a rear window sticker saying ' I SPEED UP FOR HORSES'

[Pillock]

 

I always wanted a rear window sticker saying ' I SPEED UP FOR HORSES'

"I SLOW DOWN FOR HORSES.... THEN THEY'RE EASIER TO HIT"

 

I too share the opinion of "Why do they insist on using roads when they have lovely lovely fields, which were designed for horses". They're the first to moan if a 4x4 goes wobbling across a field, hypocritical much? Besides, they pay no road tax AND leave poo everywhere (although as a part-time cyclist one of those facts also applies to me) so they've got a nerve being all high and mighty.

 

Horse riding isn't even fun. You don't get anywhere you can't walk to, you go slower than on a mountain bike, and it's far less fun than a quad bike. Plus you've got to 'muck out' which isn't as much of a laugh as, say, a few bottles of beer and the internet. I know how I'd rather spend my Sunday.

 

On the plus side, the only plus side, young lasses in riding gear are hawt.

[trigger]

On the plus side, the only plus side, young lasses in riding gear are hawt.

I'll give you that, The girls down my way on horses are lovely.

 

[Milford Cubicle]

My sister avoids roads all she can when she's riding, it's not like they enjoy riding on the roads - it's a pretty frightening experience apparently, even on the wee B roads around here.The riders around here are pretty considerate, they usually give me a wave if I pass slowly and quietly and give them a wide berth.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Horses are horriblr creatures. Scary, & smell of donkey piss. Why can't we have Zebras (disco horses) in this country? They look ace.

[Guest]

I HATE HORSES

....best of all the animals, I HATE HORSES they're my friends!I dislike the horses also. And horsey folk. My aformentioned bitch of a housemate was part of the horsey set. It explains a lot. Her mind was probably addled from snorting coke off her dad's bloodied horse whip.Anyway, one year we all had to get her a 'horse present'. I got her a 24 pack of Pritt Stick.She hates me to this day.

[Mr H Sceptre]

I HATE HORSES

....best of all the animals, I HATE HORSES they're my friends!I dislike the horses also. And horsey folk. My aformentioned bitch of a housemate was part of the horsey set. It explains a lot. Her mind was probably addled from snorting coke off her dad's bloodied horse whip.Anyway, one year we all had to get her a 'horse present'. I got her a 24 pack of Pritt Stick.She hates me to this day.

[pompei]

I seem to recall Mr Mcqueenmachine from this parish speaking on the wireless about this very subject ...

[Guest]

I seem to recall Mr Mcqueenmachine from this parish speaking on the wireless about this very subject ...

I have spoken also on the wireless about how much I hate horses.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I like horses, OK they are not the brightest animals in the world but that doenst matter, its not like they are employed to develop public transport networks, define education policies and so on. And, if i'm going to walk in a huge dollop of shite, horse wins every time over the vile mess that most dog owners are happy to abandon in the park, on the pavement, on the grass verge etc etc.

[whitevanman]

I like horses, OK they are not the brightest animals in the world but that doenst matter, its not like they are employed to develop public transport networks, define education policies and so on. And, if i'm going to walk in a huge dollop of shite, horse wins every time over the vile mess that most dog owners are happy to abandon in the park, on the pavement, on the grass verge etc etc.

dont have that problem up here. the dogs do it in the ditches or the verge....only the horses shit in the road and get away without cleaning it up, if it was any other domesticated animal there would be laws in place to penalise us.................... also if they dont like being on the road why take them there? up here there are loads of bridal paths etc, but most of the riders only take them for a walk along the roads and back to the field again, and why do they all ride 2 a breast and panic when a car apears round the corner?? single file arseholes !!!!!

[Mr H Sceptre]

At least the cat has the decency to crap in private & bury it. Cats have dignity.