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The grumpy thread


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Posted
  Albert Ross said:
You know where he lives..... Google his local amentities, and perhaps he might appreciate a Taxi or two. After 3am. It might go something like this... "Je voudrais un Taxi, silver plate" Or summat. In your best Clouseau accent, of course.

 

ALLO

 

JE SUIS UN DIX NEUF SAUCISSE, MAINTENANT.

 

LE GILET UN SAUVETAGE, C'ETAIT INCROYABLE.

 

INTERDIT, BRANLEUR.

Posted
  Albert Ross said:
You know where he lives..... Google his local amentities, and perhaps he might appreciate a Taxi or two. After 3am. It might go something like this... "Je voudrais un Taxi, silver plate" Or summat. In your best Clouseau accent, of course.

 

 

A few Ann Summers or other adult interest catalogues wouldn't go amiss, and I'm sure his wife would see the funny side. Or the good old "Audi A4 no tax or MOT 300 no offers" freead

Posted

Don't forget though before you order Vanessa Paradi's company to call for the FIN DE CLOCHE MASSIVE, that he has your address too.

 

La vengeance est un plat a le mieux servi la froid, mes vieille 'de terre.

Posted

The first thing I did when i came in to work this morning was to spill a freezing cup of water straight into my crotch then it pretty much went downhill from there. Trying to do too many things at once, too stressed and not paying enough attention = megacockup. Balls.

Posted

'Why won't you go and get me 3 bags of stones from the quarry?'

 

'Because my car gets covered in shit and I've just cleaned the boot out.'

 

'But my valeter will clean it for you.'

 

'Your valeter's shit. I can do a better job myself.'

 

'But I want those bags from the quarry.'

 

'Get me some plastic sheeting and I'll get you the bags from the quarry.'

 

'Why are you being awkward? I don't have any plastic sheeting. Can you not just go now and get me those bags from the quarry? My valeter will clean the car for you.'

 

'No, your valeter's shit. I can do a better job myself and it doesn't cost £20. The inside of the car is clean now and you don't have any plastic sheeting. Therefore, you can fuck off.'

 

And so on.

Posted

I've just pulled a muscle in my back again - same one I wrenched last winter by lifting a trolley jack. This time I was trying to shift 200kg of wood in one of those builder's sacks. At least that's a bit more of a weight! Most annoying thing is I can't get in a position to try and stretch it out. Frustrating.

 

On the plus side, two sacks of fence post off-cuts has cost us less than a tenner. That's cheap wood. Just a lot of effort to shift it! (Maverick plus trailer made this a lot easier).

Posted

It seems Mark who owns this very nice magazine featured BMW 323i with a 2.8i E52 engine had a fire this morning.

 

Bearn024.jpg

 

IMG_2069-1.jpg

 

IMG_2071-2.jpg

 

Every old car owners worse nightmare.

Posted

He must be totally gutted. That was probably the best e21 on the planet and it must have been terrible seeing all that work go up on flames. Fires the worst as it just trashes everything. You can come back from a bump but I doubt that's saveable. :(

Posted
  dollywobbler said:
I've just pulled a muscle in my back again - same one I wrenched last winter by lifting a trolley jack. This time I was trying to shift 200kg of wood in one of those builder's sacks. At least that's a bit more of a weight! Most annoying thing is I can't get in a position to try and stretch it out. Frustrating.

 

This may be worse than it sounds if your luck is bad! I had a kayaking injury in my shoulder that didn't go away, and after literally a year of pain I manned up and went to the doctors - said it's a tear that will only get bigger with exercise like a fatigue crack. Fortunately it wasn't my bowling arm :wink:

Posted

I know its not a help in every firey situation, but the thought of something like that is why I have a fire extinguisher in my cars.

 

Chap must be devastated.

Posted

On a slightly different note, family. Is there a reason they must come to my home to settle their differences? I somehow manage to get dragged into these pointless arguments at some point too, as if it were my fault. Go away! :lol:

Posted

Apologies if this one has been mentioned before - but four-lane motorways are a total waste of money and roadworks misery they cause being widened. Instead of t**ts blocking the middle lane at 60mph, they now sit blissfully in lane 3. The inner lanes seem to go unused (except by me to undertake :) )

 

But - here's the solution, introduce road charging that varies by lane. Say 1p per mile in Lane 1, 5p in Lane 2 (£25 for HGVs), and 20p in Lane 3. Road congestion solved at a stroke.

Posted

^ Its been mentioned many, many times before but I agree. I have no idea why people sit in the middle lane for no apparent reason when lane one is empty.

 

Came back from Bristol late on Saturday night and the number of people ambling along in the middle lane when tthere was little other traffic around was ridiculous

Posted
  Mr Lobster said:
^ Its been mentioned many, many times before but I agree. I have no idea why people sit in the middle lane for no apparent reason when lane one is empty.

 

 

My OH's brother says (proudly, like he's had a genius idea) that he does it so he doesn't have to worry about moving over when people join the Motorway. :roll:

 

I expect many others would say the same thing and/or that they don't have to worry about overtaking lorries. Basically the simple reason is laziness coupled with a lack of knowledge or lack of confidence and a helping of ignorance.

Posted

The Tom Daley tweet arrest. It wasn't a nice thing to say, but involving the Police? Really?

 

People need to make greater use of the "block"and "ignore" buttons online

 

Would be interested to know how quickly an arrest would be made if someone sent me a "nasty message". Hope I don't get a knock on the door for expressing this, an opinion, online.

 

The world has gone mad.

Posted
  Louise2cv said:
The Tom Daley tweet arrest. It wasn't a nice thing to say, but involving the Police? Really?

 

People need to make greater use of the "block"and "ignore" buttons online

 

Would be interested to know how quickly an arrest would be made if someone sent me a "nasty message". Hope I don't get a knock on the door for expressing this, an opinion, online.

 

The world has gone mad.

 

In other news, Watanabe has gone into hiding.

 

Does seem a bit much. Inciting riots is one thing, but being a troll? Mind you, if it makes people realise that actually the internet isn't anonymous, and that you shouldn't say things you wouldn't say to someone's face, then maybe it's a good thing?

Posted

You wouldn't believe how often certain policeofficers go out for this kind of sh*t. Honestly grown adults call the cops because "so-and-so sent me two texts" and "someone called me a slapper"on Facebook. Jeez.

 

I doubt (although I don't know for sure) these incidents result in arrests day to day and they certainly don't make the news!

Posted
  RedSparrow said:
Eh? Why has he gone?

 

T'was a clumsy suggestion that given his various rants on t'interweb, MI5 are now after him. It wasn't very clever.

Posted

I think Dollywobbler was making a joke at Watanabe's expense. :wink:

Posted

What makes it worse are petty, whining d*ckheads who deliberately wind people upturn, when they don't like having it back, start crying about it.

One forum I use to use had someone like that, probably the biggest gobshite ever on the Internet who wound people up and when they reacted he cried like a two year old and sent 'legal' threats by pm.

Without doubt a pathetic, hopeless, incredible little whining bastard. I don't know if he's still about on the web but I hope he slices his own fingers off in a random kitchen incident one day soon.

Posted
  M said:
I think Dollywobbler was making a joke at Watanabe's expense. :wink:

 

Ok, I can't do humour. Forgive me! :oops::lol:

Posted
  dollywobbler said:
  M said:
I think Dollywobbler was making a joke at Watanabe's expense. :wink:

 

Ok, I can't do humour. Forgive me! :oops::lol:

 

At least you tried ;)

Posted

I heard it was MFI because he'd furnished us with so many LOLs in his rants.

Posted

Fuck's sake. I had to google "Tom Daley tweet". Some twat tweeted that some swimmer had let down his dead father and the cops arrested him for malicious communications????? Is that even a real crime? What kind of retarded nanny state knee-jerk bullshit is this? This planet and the fuckwits that live on it make me despair sometimes.

 

So if I disagree with any of your online opinions I can go crying to the fuzz and have you arrested because you made me feel sad? I must remember that.

 

Cops aren't doing themselves any favours in the eyes of the public responding to bullshit like this either.

 

I know it's an old chestnut, but haven't they got any real crimes to solve? Or this this kind of stuff get farmed out to the cops that are too thick to write speeding tickets or arrest people for taking photos of them in public? :roll:

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