The grumpy thread

[Guest]

Ads involving toilets have never been the same since the boundaries of unpleasantness were pushed with "I want to do a poo at Paul's" for Glade. How on earth that advert hasn't been pulled yet I have no idea, then again its forerunner with the Asian boy going "Phew, it STINKS!" was on for ages. They're clearly foreign ads which have been dubbed - foreigners don't seem to be very squeamish about giving the grisly details of their bowel movements (unfortunately).Who is this Paul, anyway? Paul Daniels? Paul Gascoigne? Paul Gadd?

[Richard]

Now, the rim block things HARBOUR the germs and we should throw them out

They're not wrong about that at least.

[dollywobbler]

Lovin' the anti-Glade. That one with the 'very clever' air freshener does my head in.A) Not once have I got home from a really crappy day and had my mood improved by a smell. Unless it's dinner. There's nothing at all clever about bolting a motion detector to an air-freshener. Show it a maths GCSE and it would fail. Therefore, not clever.However, surely the worst adverts for over-dubbing are the Mr Muscle ones. There was something quite comforting about a geek trying to unblock his sink but suddenly he's a rather creepy super-guy making women smile like they're on an advert on the Fast Show's Channel 9.Another awful one - the women's sanitary one where some shrieking harridan goes on about Mother Nature. I can't recall the details thankfully. Most annoying as the bird in the makeup is quite hot.

[garethj]

I've got to think of a comment in response to "What do you think great customer service is - and why?"

"It comes down to one thing - quallity"

[retrogeezer]

Now, the rim block things HARBOUR the germs and we should throw them out

They're not wrong about that at least.

so more germs than are already in the toilet then... Won't be eating my dinner in there tonight then!!

[warren t claim]

The Conservative Party.I was in favour of a change of governcunt but these people are already showing signs of twattish, back slapping self-congratulation not seen since the two faced Welsh tosser was leading his party to "certain victory" in 1992. I agree that the unelected prick we have in charge now has to go but I wish there was a better alternative.

[ChinaTom]

I'm sure if we really tried, we could muster up an alternative between us. Imagine how good it would look on Sky news when Spokesman for the Government Hirst stands outside No. 10 and delivers a no-nonesense directive to the masses reinstating tithes. While he fends off questions regarding his ethical stance, the sound of mis-firing and backfiring gets ever closer. Then a yellow Landcrab pulls up behind him and PM Bollox gets out the back door with a copy of Anglian Autotrader under his arm.

[Guest]

Rev Bluejeans could be Mandelson!We could use government funds to re-invent British Leyland and create some factories to produce an all-new range for the 21st century - the range-topper would be a hastily-facelifted Ital with a lengthened wheelbase and a digital clock, the intermediate car would be a rebadged Moskvitch Aleko and the compact town car would be a homebrew "Hustler" type affair with a creaky old A-series.

[sporty-shite]

Hirst, go into work early in the morning, and replace some of the pretty posters with this:

 

 

Might ruffle a few feathers!

[seth]

We visited a hospital yesterday to see a new-born relative. There were motivational posters in the stairwell telling you how walking up the stairs lowered your blood pressure etc. Except there were no posters above the second floor. Perhaps you were supposed to have given up by then. Or the person sticking them up died of a heart attack?

[Pete-M]

This has got me wanting to kill whoever did it.

 

WAG Bentley

 

When I first saw it I just thought "I hope that's photoshopped"

[MrDuke]

The best hospital posters EVER appeared at work a few months ago. They helpfully provided information about epilepsy and how to assist a sufferer, and had the subject word printed in huge letters across the top. In dayglo yellow. On a dayglo pink background.For some reason, they only stayed up for a week or so...

[brammy777]

the best posters without a doubt are the south west trains ones which read:' what went through the mind of the person who slipped? the floor.'Also rant time.Guy who bought stereo, rang earlier and said hell pick it up tonight at 745.Yeh, he isnt here yet.Fucking twat, if he doesnt give me a good reason he can fuck off.I called off the unpaid dispute as he told me his mum has cancer. And i really want to believe that.

[brammy777]

he just arrived and collectedScatty looking guy mind you, looked like a druggie and stank of tobacco.Didnt say thankyou either.suspicious time to come to collect too.I was a little bit suspicious, enough to ensure id be protected.....

[RedSparrow]

Re: Glade advert

Shamelessly nicked from B3ta.com.

Hope it causes some lols, made me laugh.

 

 

 

 

http://www.b3ta.com/board/9684262

[warren t claim]

Re: Glade advert

Shamelessly nicked from B3ta.com.

Hope it causes some lols, made me laugh.

 

 

 

 

http://www.b3ta.com/board/9684262

[Mr H Sceptre]

We could use government funds to re-invent British Leyland and create some factories to produce an all-new range for the 21st century - the range-topper would be a hastily-facelifted Ital with a lengthened wheelbase and a digital clock, the intermediate car would be a rebadged Moskvitch Aleko and the compact town car would be a homebrew "Hustler" type affair with a creaky old A-series.

Already got it covered:http://www.autoshite.com/third-id-115-second242-1-p-242-p2-278.htm

[AlsoMike]

I'm sure ebay has been well covered in this thread before, but I'm going to rant about it anyway. Specifically people who don't read listings properly. I've sold a few things recently, not all automotive tat, but all properly and fairly described. The first idiots are the ones who have paid by paypal when I put CASH PAYMENT in the listing, so now I'm going to have to pay fees on the mediocre amount the stuff went for. Dickheads. These are items they are collecting as well, go figure.The second one is some fool who bought a watch from me for £1.20 then complained that the battery was flat, and demanded that I send them the money to get a battery fitted. Errr, NO. (I stated it wasn't new and never said it worked you flod). Tempted to post them a turd in a jiffy bag over though.The third one is the guy who sent me a message that read "I've paid for the item, could you post it asap." Really? I was going to wait a few weeks. Is that not right? (I put in the listing that I'll post it within 4 working days, it's written in english and everything).The worst bit is that i can't NEG these mongoloids now! Funking useless website. If i wasn't so skint that I needed to sell all my possessions on there I'd never go near the evil thing.

[retrogeezer]

don't get me started on ebay.....This made me laugh yesterday but is annoying it's it's own way.We have British Gas homecover thing so if the heating packs up etc we can just ring them and get it sorted. It's quite dear but so is the call out for a 'Gas Safe' engineer. With this, you get an annual service on your boiler so the fella is here yesterday, says it's all fine (Potterton Profile Netaheat) and every gas fella over the years has said they are one of the best and most reliable boilers ever made.They give you their checklist form to sign and in the summary of findings the fella has ticked the box saying 'Appliance Replacement Advised' with the comment - 'Boiler ceased production 1991/ 19 years old'This is after he has told me that it works perfectly and all the parts are still available.So, should I be replacing everything I own that is no longer in production or old? How bloody ridiculous.

[peter9000uk]

I have come to the conclusion that buying and selling shite on a tight budget is akin to buying and selling a house. Picture thisShite Vectra 1.6 8v, owned since Jan never given any grief not advertised for sale. Bloke at work says his daughter's mate definately wants to buy it this weekend for 300% profit. Marvellous I hear you say!Look around for some new shite and have everything all set up. She buys Vectra Saturday, I go Sunday to pay & collect new shite veryone is happy.Oh No, that would be way too simple. No phone call at all over the weekend. Come in to work Monday and mate is avoiding me. Collar him this morning before he disappears for the day. Oh he says meant to call you Saturday, daughters mate can't get the money for 3 or 4 weeks. Steam is comong out of ears now I as now own 2 shitters (as I won't let other seller down) where one would suffice.I told him that his daughter's chavvy mate with 3 kids from 3 fathers can go swivel as the car is no longer for sale at any price, was only doing her a favour anyway.Lost my rag a bit with mate at work as well as I said at chuffing phone call would have been nice even to explain the above.Apparently she thought I would let her have the car and she pay me in installments, what am I chuffing Carland or something!Thankyou, I feel better now

[trigger]

Oh that is taking the piss some what, Why the hell would you be letting have the car then be accepting installments for it?!.

[whitevanman]

I get this a lot as well...........can you find me a cheap carK..................OK here is what you want......what do you mean £100 a month?......FUCK RIGHT OFF!!! I have to find the money to buy it in the first place...you TWATS

[Pillock]

Apparently she thought I would let her have the car and she pay me in installments, what am I chuffing Carland or something!

No problem, just use the Carcraft way of selling.She can have the Vectra, cash price (say) £500. However, since she'll be paying installments then it's a handy deposit of £99, and then twelve payments of £99. And don't forget the admin fee to set up the credit on your computer (aka jotting it on the back of a used envelope on your mantlepiece) - £99. Oh, and there's a final payment to process the ownership details once she's paid the final installment. That's just £99, and involves you posting the V5 off.Obviously if she's fourteen seconds late with any payments, the V5 is still in your name and you keep a key so you just go round and take the car back. And have her kneecapped if she backchats you. Bitch.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Hey does anyone remember a legendary article in a early 1980's issue of CAR about a tat car lot in the states somewhere called 'Buddy Dog's', it was not dissimilar to Hirst Autos, they had loads of horrible crusty land yachts with gaudy price stickers in the window, the feller made all his money on the finance deal and always found a way to repo the cars after a few weeks! Always stuck in my mind that.

[mattblack]

http://uk.cars.yahoo.com/06102009/36/lu ... air-0.html

 

"It's a testament to the Ferrari's safety measures and strong aluminium and carbon fibre structure that the occupants' injuries aren't life threatening."

 

Or here's an idea... don't drive like a cock and have an accident in the first place...

[warren t claim]

http://uk.cars.yahoo.com/06102009/36/lucky-escape-ferrari-smash-pair-0.html"It's a testament to the Ferrari's safety measures and strong aluminium and carbon fibre structure that the occupants' injuries aren't life threatening."Or here's an idea... don't drive like a cock and have an accident in the first place...

This is undoubtably the best way to look like complete bell end in front of your bird.I wish I could hack into that news page and add that he was racing a Daewoo Nexia at the time!

[Cavcraft]

People who don't listen. Like whoever (I know who it is actually) has tried calling me nine times in the last hour.I told them not to with hold their number or dial from an ex-directory number as I won't answer.But they didn't listen. So I'm not going to answer.

[pompei]

I bet this has been suggested before but anyroadup - Ugly lardy San 'n' Tray lookalike mingers with a Babe On Board sticker ... (usually in chavved up Clios with pink accessories) Gawd help us.

[Guest]

Hey does anyone remember a legendary article in a early 1980's issue of CAR about a tat car lot in the states somewhere called 'Buddy Dog's', it was not dissimilar to Hirst Autos, they had loads of horrible crusty land yachts with gaudy price stickers in the window, the feller made all his money on the finance deal and always found a way to repo the cars after a few weeks! Always stuck in my mind that.

That sounds excellent! He's living the dream. If someone can find that article it'd be appreciated.I'd love to have some really ropey car lot in some scruffy backwater in the US. I would have a varied selection of toss and advertise on some local TV station with an ad that repeatedly says "NO MONEY DOWN". Just imagine it, tucking someone up into a hefty finance deal on a tatty old Mercury Sable Wagon with half a dozen karate chops down each side and badly-yellowed headlights, it'd be quality!

[RedSparrow]

A cab driver once told me about a car rental firm in the states called 'Rent a Wreck'. Basically they just hired out old bangers, cheap. Sounds GR8 4 a cross country mission!