ashmicro Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Dominos Pizza. They've just opened around here, and they seemed to have hired every fuckwit in the area. Aside from the stupid, sail-like signs on the roof, all of their delivery drivers seemed to drive cars that are bashed up so badly, an Istanbul minicabber wouldn't want it. And about 20 or so minutes ago, one of them has rear-ended what looks like a fairly new Mercedes S Class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I wonder how many Cits there are out there with CITREON written on the tax disc.... >Remembers disc is a printed job from DVLA> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattblack Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Reminds me of the episode of 'Porridge' when Fletcher was talking about his daughter's boyfriend selling cars with dodgy logbooks... Godber asks how he knows they're dodgy and he replies that he spells Citroen with an 'S' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CreepingJesus Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Dominos Pizza. They've just opened around here, and they seemed to have hired every fuckwit in the area. Aside from the stupid, sail-like signs on the roof, all of their delivery drivers seemed to drive cars that are bashed up so badly, an Istanbul minicabber wouldn't want it. And about 20 or so minutes ago, one of them has rear-ended what looks like a fairly new Mercedes S Class. Been there, done that! To be fair, the work seems to be unbelievably hard on cars. When you've changed the front struts for the second time that year, and cannot get rid of the smell of pizza from the upholstery; it gets hard to care much any more. Staring into the engine bay of someone's smoking supermini, and saying "Nah, that's well fucked", becomes something of a habit. At least it breaks up the monotony of playing cards for matchsticks on a wet Tuesday.And no-one looks good in a Domino's uniform. No-one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Creep Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Dominos Pizza. They've just opened around here, and they seemed to have hired every fuckwit in the area. Aside from the stupid, sail-like signs on the roof, all of their delivery drivers seemed to drive cars that are bashed up so badly, an Istanbul minicabber wouldn't want it. And about 20 or so minutes ago, one of them has rear-ended what looks like a fairly new Mercedes S Class. Been there, done that! To be fair, the work seems to be unbelievably hard on cars. When you've changed the front struts for the second time that year, and cannot get rid of the smell of pizza from the upholstery; it gets hard to care much any more. Staring into the engine bay of someone's smoking supermini, and saying "Nah, that's well fucked", becomes something of a habit. At least it breaks up the monotony of playing cards for matchsticks on a wet Tuesday.And no-one looks good in a Domino's uniform. No-one. Having done it for Pizza Hut is does knacker cars like nothing else, but much LOLZ were had getting reactions when using the 120Y. Was actually quite a fun job and better paid than you'd expect once you count the tips, extra fuel money and not having to go out and buy dinner that evening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CreepingJesus Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 The problem with my stint at Domino's (apart from dressing like a cretin), was having to do Tuesday + Wednesday nights to get the trade-off of a guaranteed weekend night. 2L Mondeo in get-the-deadline mode, will eat the fuel allowance (might as well have spiked the tank, and spent the night washing the ovens out), and nobody's pissed enough to hand over twice the cost of the order and wave away their change. Had some laughs (a couple of hen parties, and kicking some pissed up runt of a ned down some concrete stairs for starters), but overall, it was a very grump-worthy non-job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Station Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Been there, done that! To be fair, the work seems to be unbelievably hard on cars. When you've changed the front struts for the second time that year, and cannot get rid of the smell of pizza from the upholstery; it gets hard to care much any more. Staring into the engine bay of someone's smoking supermini, and saying "Nah, that's well fucked", becomes something of a habit. At least it breaks up the monotony of playing cards for matchsticks on a wet Tuesday.And no-one looks good in a Domino's uniform. No-one. I did it for 6 months in my Suzuki Whizzkid, it was the perfect car really, I made 60p per delivery (on top of wages and tips) and each journey cost 20p max. Apart from one week where the starter and new battery gave up (due to winter) - I had my 50 year old boss and his elderly uncle push it to start it every time I was out on delivery, but it was -the- perfect car for the job, although it probably didn't deserve the hammering it got. I did 40,000 miles in less than a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Creep Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 In my increasingly desperate attempts to get any sort of aciton, thought I'd sign up to eharmony. So after spending an hour doing their compatibility test: We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you. eHarmony's patented matching system was developed after extensive research into marital satisfaction. We use each person's responses to our Relationship Questionnaire to predict the pairings of individuals that are highly likely to result in satisfying long-term relationships, based on what we learned through our research. Unfortunately, based on responses to our questionnaire, we occasionally find situations where our matching system cannot identify high quality compatible matches, and this has happened in your case. Please understand that it is a result of our matching process and in no way reflects on you as a person or your ability to be in a happy relationship. We apologise and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights. We wish you all the best in your search for that special someone. I must admit a rejection from a computer is a new one to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shite_meister Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 Joan Rivers:fuck off will you and shut the fuck up, you're about as funny as a cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashmicro Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I thought Joan Rivers was dead. If she's not, she looks it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 We apologise and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights.Would like to know what these valuable insights might be. Let's see! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 I must admit a rejection from a computer is a new one to me!Maybe it saw your avatar and got scared? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Creep Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 We apologise and regret our inability to find good matches for you. The time you spent completing our questionnaire, however, has enabled us to provide you with a free Personality Profile.. This Personality Profile lets you learn more about yourself and should provide you with valuable insights.Would like to know what these valuable insights might be. Let's see! A complete load of rambling bollocks basically. Apparently a "positive" is that I'm compassionate about people's feeling but a "negative" is that my response to other's problems isn't sympathetic enough Oh and I didn't use my avatar pic. That's saved for my match.com profile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashmicro Posted April 2, 2011 Share Posted April 2, 2011 N.C., to be serious for a minute, be careful! A bloke I used to work with got hooked up with a woman from a dating site (can't remember which one). She was a Class A, gold-plated NUTCASE, who wanted him to beat her up, had a blood fetish, and later tried to poison him (he ended up in hospital). She looked normal, too, when I saw her at a works piss-up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 He'll be ok, I ended up married to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Leonard Hatred Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 N.C., to be serious for a minute, be careful! A bloke I used to work with got hooked up with a woman from a dating site (can't remember which one). She was a Class A, gold-plated NUTCASE, who wanted him to beat her up, had a blood fetish, and later tried to poison him (he ended up in hospital). She looked normal, too, when I saw her at a works piss-up. That could quite easily happen meeting conventionally, but the internet is a bit of a haven for big spastic mentalists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Creep Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 N.C., to be serious for a minute, be careful! A bloke I used to work with got hooked up with a woman from a dating site (can't remember which one). She was a Class A, gold-plated NUTCASE, who wanted him to beat her up, had a blood fetish, and later tried to poison him (he ended up in hospital). She looked normal, too, when I saw her at a works piss-up. That could quite easily happen meeting conventionally, but the internet is a bit of a haven for big spastic mentalists. Well at least it would beat my impressive record of 5 months trying these things and not a single reply or message Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tayne Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I think you might want to re-write your online profile.And maybe do something to make it more visible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pogweasel Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Are you super fugly or sommert? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillock Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 Try plentyoffish instead - you just sign up and write some words about yourself. None of this computer matching rubbish.I'm ugly, skint and depressed and even I got a couple of shags out of that site. Warning: one of them got a bit clingy (she was fatter, skinter and more depressed). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Case Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 a "positive" is that I'm compassionate about people's feeling; Oh and I didn't use my avatar pic. Dear Mr Creep You do not appear to be an entirely hopeless case, but I think that your name may be part of the problem and a change might be beneficial. I suggest that calling yourself Mr Positive Creep might create a more favourable impresion with members of the fair sex. Yours sympathetically, Agony Aunt Alfisti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Leonard Hatred Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I have had a look at these dating sites but I'm too socially retarded at the mo to even send a message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobydoo Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 £112 just to get a little petrol lawn mower serviced!! It's only two years old. They saw me coming didn't they! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pogweasel Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 WHAT!?Who charged you that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashmicro Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 ^^ what Pog said. The Shifty House-Clearances R Us auction place in Belfast will sell you a good one for a lot less than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retrogeezer Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 £112 just to get a little petrol lawn mower serviced!! It's only two years old. They saw me coming didn't they! Jeez, there is nothing to do on them!! Change the oil (and you can use car oil with no probs), clean the plug and filter and brush any stuck grass from underneath off! The small ones only take half a litre of oil....what on earth have they charged for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pogweasel Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 I'da done it for a 4-pack of hen. POGZ SUFFOLK PUNCH TUNING SHOP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boobydoo Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 The local ironmongers did it... I just looked at the bill again.... Sharpen blades £7.50 Clean and set carb/ replace carb diaphram £5 Air Filter £6.00 Spark Plug £4.50 Change oil £6.00 Labour £50.00 Collection and Delivery £15. Plus VAT of course. I'm a twat, aren't I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Leonard Hatred Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 It seems like you've being charged for labour twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CIH Posted April 3, 2011 Share Posted April 3, 2011 £50 an hour, and they will charge a minimum of an hour, isnt so remarkable. Atleast, not in the garage trade. No idea about the "mower trade" though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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