The grumpy thread

[Alexg]

Excellent! If I see a facebook 'friend' with that status I'll laugh my japs eye off!

[chaseracer]

i've just changed mine to

'BRITSH PEOPLE NO THAT MUSLIMS ARE TRYING TO BAN SNOW. JUST WON MORE THING THEY DONT WANT HARDWORKING ENGLISH PPL 2 HAVE! 85% OF PPL IN UR FREDNS LIST WONT HAVE THE GUTS TO SAY THIS - COPY THIS AS UR STATUS IF U DARE!!!!!!'

Nice one, barrett - will you be my fredn?

[Timewaster]

Heard today that 2 of my old workmates from my last job have been made redundant today Cant help thinking it because they were the ones who would say what they thought. Hope they find something else soon.

[pogweasel]

But that was eons ago....

 

Maybe. But still not really something to joke about is it, you CUNT.

[autofive]

Well the rad muzzies definitely tried to "ban" the Tube and doubledeckers, killing over 50 and wounding over 700 Londoners who were just minding their own business. But that was eons ago....

 

 

watch this documentary Norm

 

it was a fit up

[Negative Creep]

On the subject of Facebook I wish someone could invent an app that blocks out every status updated related to how much someone loves/misses their partners. Fed up of reading about how someone gets fed up after being by themselves for one day - my God how could you possibly cope for 24 hours by yourself? Someone I know has even changed their Facebook middle name to "love-Nicola". Jesus wept.

[pogweasel]

FUCK OFF.

REALLY. FUCK OFF.

[Negative Creep]

Calm down both of you please, we don't really need this on the board

[pogweasel]

Do us a favour and edit yourself out.

[barrett]

[Alexg]

Well that was a most ungentlemanly confrontation.

[eddyramrod]

It most certainly was, Alex, and as a bystander I think I'm entitled to claim a grump about the very fact of it happening at all.

[CIH]

Back to grumps; bastard cheap arse taxi drivers who come into our garage and expect everything for nowt.

[eddyramrod]

Househunting. Nuff said.

[Timewaster]

Back to grumps; bastard cheap arse taxi drivers who come into our garage and expect everything for nowt.

 

You forgot to mention the fact that they want you to drop everything so they can have everything for nothing NOW! Don't you know how busy they are, and how much it is costing them in lost fares while you try and fix a problem you warned them about 6 months ago and they were too tight to get it fixed then?

And I always come here, I'm your best customer I am, trade price mate?

 

They're all the same!

[Lankytim]

Househunting. Nuff said.

 

Easy surely? They're big and can't move, so a piece of piss to hunt!

 

I recon they'd be a bit too easy infact. Have you tried fox hunting or badger baiting?

 

On another note.. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I LIKE NORM!

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Referring to most members except Richard by their first names utterly confuses me.

[dollywobbler]

House hunting is quite painless. House selling - now there's a can of shite! Really narked that we're trying to sell our old place, to someone we sort of know. If we all sat down and had a Q&A session, we'd have the money now. Instead, everything is dragging along because solicitors get involved and only deal in paper. That means their solicitor asks our solicitor a question, they pass it on to us, we pass it back to our solicitor, they pass it on to theirs. Then theirs asks another stupid question that they should have asked in the first place! Something that'd take a few minutes ends up taking WEEKS. Especially as despite our solicitor posting something on the 19th Nov, we didn't get it until the 27th - the same day as the resent version. Thanks Royal Fail!

[Tayne]

,

[Guest]

It seems that Totaljobs are happy to let fraudsters openly operate on their site. I get notifications sent directly to my Gmail inbox.

This little gem arrived yesterday. The telephone number provided at the bottom is linked directly to a scam thread if entered into Google.

 

 

Good day,

 

We have looked through your resume on Totaljobs and want to try you for the job of administrative assistant/sales support. You'll work at the convenience of your home, part-time.

 

ELM, a luxury goods company, presents great off-season luxury finds from the most prestigious international designers and collectibles from the rarest collections at irresistible prices.

 

Candidates for the position should possess outstanding managerial skills with the ability to efficiently multi-task. Perfect candidates have a strong focus on everyday operational excellence, and a individual manner that builds trust, and inspires reliability. The candidate have to be motivated, proactive, be able to study and adapt quickly.

 

 

Other responsibilities of the Administrative Assistant/Sales Support contain, but are not limited to:

 

• Incorporating effectual priorities for the virtual office job

• Administer daily financial responsibilities for customers

• Give a report online daily

• Preparing brief summary reports, and weekly financial reports

 

Salary part-time: 1,800GBP/month, plus commission.

 

If you have any questions please contact us via email or via fax +1-949-271-5336.

 

Yours faithfully,

Sandra Molins

ELM Team

 

 

I responded with due care and attention:

 

 

Yes,

 

I completely trust and believe your assurance that you will pay me £1,800 a month for a part time job. Do you wire directly to offshore Landlocked Swiss bank accounts? It's just that I haven't quite cleared the Nazi gold out of my arse crack yet - one does have to keep up appearances, you know.

 

I feel that I have a decent enough grasp of the English language to tell you to fuck off and never bother me again. Is that OK? Is it? Is it cool? Is this cool? Is it?

I hope and trust that it is verily so.

 

Kindest and warm regards,

 

Jon 'Malaria Malcontent' Burgess.

 

PS: My bank account is riddled with 'de bird flu.' Can you clear it out for me? Ta.

 

[Mr Lobster]

Just had the bill from the solicitors for all the work they did on our house sale / purchase that fell through because our 'buyer' was a delusional timewaster. So goodbye £800, it was a pleasure knowing you

 

Twuntery.

[chaseracer]

Just had the bill from the solicitors for all the work they did on our house sale / purchase that fell through because our 'buyer' was a delusional timewaster. So goodbye £800, it was a pleasure knowing you

 

Twuntery.

Bloody hell! Been there, and I feel your pain. Someone tell me again WHY we haven't adopted the Scottish system?

[The Moog]

Currently going through that but our solicitor is on no sale no fee. It is still taking forever because bank wont agree that the house is worth that much money. Even though the bloke has a huuuuge deposit.

[Lord Sterling]

TWATS in new BMWs

 

Come up to a junction, checked the the junction was clear and pulled out still checking when all of a sudden this complete twat in a newish shape BMW 3-series coupe comes bombing down the road, doesnt like the fact that he had to literally tap his brakes. As we pas each other he gives the evils and starts shouting some sort of abuse, I shout back a few choice words, when suddenly he stop and reverses back, because I'm trying to get around a parked car on the left as I'm pulling out he reverses, so much that his rear bumper touches my car (No damage or scratches though) then he gets out of his car acting the hardman. Normally I'd like to get out and "have a few words" but I had my 12-year old sister with me, she knew what was going on and was clearly a little scared (this is not the first time I've had complete arseholes try and bully me off the road because I drive a small car) part of me of me wanted to get out and stuff my fist into this twats face, but part of me knew this would cause more trouble than its worth and I had my sister to think about. I told the twat fuck off and drove off. I feel a bit useless, like I should have done something, especially as this twats car actually touched mine, and now this is bothering me.

 

I know were this twat lives aswell.

 

This is the second incident today, the first involved some wanker in a current shape Mondeo, tailgating me because I pulled into lane, even though there was plenty of space and I used my indicators.

[eddyramrod]

Oh dear, Lordship, but really... did you ever expect any different? You do have my sympathy, for what it's worth.

[M'coli]

TWATS in new BMWs

 

Come up to a junction, checked the the junction was clear and pulled out still checking when all of a sudden this complete twat in a newish shape BMW 3-series coupe comes bombing down the road, doesnt like the fact that he had to literally tap his brakes. As we pas each other he gives the evils and starts shouting some sort of abuse, I shout back a few choice words, when suddenly he stop and reverses back, because I'm trying to get around a parked car on the left as I'm pulling out he reverses, so much that his rear bumper touches my car (No damage or scratches though) then he gets out of his car acting the hardman. Normally I'd get out and and tear his face off, but I had my 12-year old sister with me, she knew what was going on and was clearly a little scared (this is not the first time I've had complete arseholes try and bully me off the road because I drive a small car) part of me of me wanted to get out and stuff my fist into this twats face, but part of me knew this would cause more trouble than its worth and I had my sister to think about. I told the twat fuck off and drove off. I feel really stupid, and now this is bothering me.

 

I know were this twat lives aswell.

You know where this guy is? This is a road rage incident, and your sister is a witness. Report them.

[Lord Sterling]

You know where this guy is? This is a road rage incident, and your sister is a witness. Report them.

 

Thanks fellas, I think I will report it.

[morris_ital_lover]

Just had the bill from the solicitors for all the work they did on our house sale / purchase that fell through because our 'buyer' was a delusional timewaster. So goodbye £800, it was a pleasure knowing you

 

Twuntery.

Bloody hell! Been there, and I feel your pain. Someone tell me again WHY we haven't adopted the Scottish system?

 

 

It can work the other way too.... my parents qwere screwed over for 10k (for surveys and numerous things here and there - dont ask I cant remember twas a long process) by a vicar nonetheless who wanted to sell to buy another property, about to complete (like 24 hours away), turns around says bank wont allow it because he has a mortgage on both his properties or somesuch. Leaving my parents significantly out of pocket, doesnt so much say sorry. CUNT.

 

In a more humourous tone.... didnt dave allen do asketch on house hunting? I cant for the life of me find it anywhere so have some crazy monty python cartoon instead.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XICCxyxtHKI

 

m0rris

[warren t claim]

You know where this guy is? This is a road rage incident, and your sister is a witness. Report them.

 

Thanks fellas, I think I will report it.

 

Don't report it! If you know where the cunt lives do the twats BMW over.

 

Brake fluid and engine oil in a plant sprayer FTW!

[Guest]

You know where this guy is? This is a road rage incident, and your sister is a witness. Report them.

 

Thanks fellas, I think I will report it.

 

Don't report it! If you know where the cunt lives do the twats BMW over.

 

Brake fluid and engine oil in a plant sprayer FTW!

 

My particular favourite is curdled \ stale milk (lumps 'n all) poured into the scuttle air intake. Two people at my last job got that little present off me when they ROYALLY FUCKED ME OFF one way another. It absolutely hums the car out and you normally have to change the heater matrix and pipework to get rid of the funk.

 

Always worth considering. Sugar in the pe'rol tank is another good one. My ex knows all about that one.