The grumpy thread

[BorniteIdentity]

Becoming increasingly pissed off with the relentless deployment of COVIDSMOKESCREEN by companies.

Take AA Insurance.  Because of the "international pandemic" we've decided to close our call centre on Sundays.  

Right.  So, out of your huge team, you couldn't rustle up 10 people to take calls for six hours on a Sunday?  Even though you boast that you've closed your call centers and, for the wellbeing of your team, are allowing them to work from home.

Just fucking say it.  You're using this as an opportunity to review how you do things.  

SO, I attempt to make the alterations online. "OOOH - we're under the bonnet atm LOL pmsl" and I can't do it.

Off you fuck.

[Christine]

12 hours ago, vulgalour said:

Gosh darn it I've just gone and found exactly what I'm looking for.

This is full on BUY IT NOW territory for me, just call a delivery person to pick it up and give it to me, worry about what's broken later.  Of course I don't have the asking and what's tied up in the BX wouldn't cover it either.  You can guarantee when I do have the asking I won't find something this perfect out there when I'm actually looking and trying to buy something.  Frig.

Wont you get a self employed Borris cheque this month ? ? Its for buying cars...

[vulgalour]

I wish!  Other self employed friends have got the cheque, but because I work from home and don't have to rent out a premises, I don't qualify, so I've just been plodding along as best I can for the duration and putting up with the drop in income.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

12 hours ago, vulgalour said:

Gosh darn it I've just gone and found exactly what I'm looking for.

This is full on BUY IT NOW territory for me, just call a delivery person to pick it up and give it to me, worry about what's broken later.  Of course I don't have the asking and what's tied up in the BX wouldn't cover it either.  You can guarantee when I do have the asking I won't find something this perfect out there when I'm actually looking and trying to buy something.  Frig.

That's lovely. Don't have regrets- pull out every last stop and scrape together the funds to GIB. Hell, you could even do the crowdfunding thing and promise to do updates at every step. 

I notice it's also got offroad rear tyres,  so ideal for offroading. Have you bought it yet? 

[Christine]

No comprehendo .,..have you been  affected by Covid ? Yes .....just type tax ref no.  And  national ins number , and it says eligible or not eligible... Then bang in " Yes please " ! 

[High Jetter]

Too late now for first SEISS grant - next one opens on August 17th

[vulgalour]

I didn't qualify for the first one, I shan't qualify for the second one.  It's just how it is.  I'm down about 30% on my usual income but managing, one of the benefits of not worrying about paying for premises.  I haven't actually stopped trading since the whole thing kicked off, so my drop in income is really down to people not having as much disposable for luxury items.  I'll get through, it just means I too don't get the disposable for luxuries like more cars I don't really need.

[Aston Martin]

Last week my mum whinged her car was going woop-woop-woop. 

The brakes were gammy because she hadn't used it. I said use the bastard more.

...

I haven't used the 4x4 in months because the air con doesn't work and the Alessi isn't motd. 

The brakes were fucking locked on. The handbrake on one side. I can't boot it forwards as there's a metal fence I'm bound to burst through. So I keep rocking it and get free.

WOOP-WOOP-WOOP. ???

 

I couldn't give it a proper run as it's on fumes and tesco was rammed.

[Remspoor]

21 hours ago, Dan the van said:

Just seen a mate who lives Bodmin way.He says there's a fella standing by the A30 westbound dressed as the grim reaper.Which would be funnier if the situation wasn't so serious.Those of us who live in Cornwall are taking Covid very seriously, the Emmetts don't seem to care from what I've seen.Which pisses me off tbh.

 So from Monday the A30 is going to be mined at Launceston and the Tamar bridge toll increased from £1.50 to £ 1000000.I wish lol.

When this all kicked off there was a bloke dressed as Plague doctor walking around some village. Police asked him not too as it was scaring other "good" residence of the village. Seems like  sense of humour is has been  removed during  the outbreak.

[paulplom]

1 hour ago, vulgalour said:

I didn't qualify for the first one, I shan't qualify for the second one.  It's just how it is.  I'm down about 30% on my usual income but managing, one of the benefits of not worrying about paying for premises.  I haven't actually stopped trading since the whole thing kicked off, so my drop in income is really down to people not having as much disposable for luxury items.  I'll get through, it just means I too don't get the disposable for luxuries like more cars I don't really need.

You're still due the money. It's to make up for loss of income. Having your own premises has nothing to do with it.

I work from home technically. I applied and I got money paid into my bank within three days.

I'll be doing it again in three weeks time.

The last one paid for the mx5 and it's paint job. As above, it's for buying shite.

[Christine]

Ask him if he'll px an Astra mk 3  , Honda Hrv , a Fiat Grande Punto van , and  a BX .....I,d lend you my borris cheque and PPI  refund ,but i don't know whats round the corner with covid bollox for me . What about the Attitudde finance thing ? 

[Christine]

You're talking borris business loan vulg ,not  SE grant ?  

[High Jetter]

I think Vulg meant the £10k or £25k that businesses with premises got, as I myself did, but am sure there are some self-employed who were not able to get the SEISS grant. I know those whose PAYE earnings were greater than self-employed profits missed out, for example.

[vulgalour]

Yeah, I'm talking the grant, not the loan.  I'd been told because I don't pay rent/mortgage on premises and my business is online rather than real world, I don't qualify.  If that was wrong and I do qualify, that's pretty annoying.  I'll stick an application in for this new one then, worst they'll do is say no, I hadn't thought it was worth applying since I didn't get the first one, but it would really help.

[myglaren]

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/police-chase-video-driver-999-call-newcastle-samuel-birch-a9650336.html

Geordy nitwit.

 

[Aston Martin]

Awesome 

[paulplom]

14 hours ago, myglaren said:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/police-chase-video-driver-999-call-newcastle-samuel-birch-a9650336.html

Geordy nitwit.

 

What a fucking wanker

[MikeR]

gone from having no spare shite and everything clear and clean  in the garage , 

to having .

17 inch monitor

19 inch combi tv

23 inch combi tv

54 inch smart tv ......

should I start a telly renting company ?

[Coprolalia]

Mentioned in my Scirocco thread I'm starting to trust it.

Driving to work this morning, the alternator light starts flashing intermittently.

Bloody thing.

Bet it's the bastard rebuilt 45w piece-of-shit alternator again.

It does not want to be fixed. Typical VAG.

[omegod]

Bought a fiesta project off a young lady yesterday , she had to remove all the baby stuff out of it, have a look at the front tyres she’s been driving round on ... Jesus wept !!

[Heidel_Kakao]

17 minutes ago, omegod said:

Bought a fiesta project off a young lady yesterday , she had to remove all the baby stuff out of it, have a look at the front tyres she’s been driving round on ... Jesus wept !!

At least you can't see the cords so it could be worse.

[paulplom]

Shop her to tge feds!

[New POD]

4 hours ago, MikeR said:

gone from having no spare shite and everything clear and clean  in the garage , 

to having .

17 inch monitor

19 inch combi tv

23 inch combi tv

54 inch smart tv ......

should I start a telly renting company ?

23 inch for a monitor and 19 inch for the spare room please. 

[New POD]

I am grumpy and flumuxed. 

Omega won't start.  There is fuel. There is jump leads to a running astra, there is new spark plugs (the old ones were ready for replacement) 

The thing turns over.  Not a wiff of firing. 

 

[omegod]

3 hours ago, Heidel_Kakao said:

At least you can't see the cords so it could be worse.

How did you know I was wearing cords ?  

[paulplom]

1 hour ago, New POD said:

I am grumpy and flumuxed. 

Omega won't start.  There is fuel. There is jump leads to a running astra, there is new spark plugs (the old ones were ready for replacement) 

The thing turns over.  Not a wiff of firing. 

 

Imobiliser related? It might cut the spark. Can you take an ht lead off and check.

Put your finger in the end of it and crank it over. If you feel a slight tingle, you know you have spark.

[paulplom]

Joke btw. Watch that heart of yours!

[New POD]

20 minutes ago, paulplom said:

Imobiliser related? It might cut the spark. Can you take an ht lead off and check.

Put your finger in the end of it and crank it over. If you feel a slight tingle, you know you have spark.

Changing the spark plugs took over an hour.  There is no plug leads only coil packs, held on by torch bolts, hidden by high pressure fuel lines on one side, and all sorts of pipe and cables on the other. 

I didn't want to risk powering it up with fuel line disconnected. 

[MikeR]

2 hours ago, New POD said:

I am grumpy and flumuxed. 

Omega won't start.  There is fuel. There is jump leads to a running astra, there is new spark plugs (the old ones were ready for replacement) 

The thing turns over.  Not a wiff of firing. 

 

need my timing light to look for the sparks , should be dark soon and it can be used

[New POD]

Not today. Can I borrow your code reader ?