The grumpy thread

[254575]

 

Eddy: didn't you ask this bird for a date instead?

3 things stopping me:

1: she's married

2: I'm married

3: she smokes, game over. Why do all these gorgeous women have to fill their lungs, and incidentally those of everyone around them, with all these noxious chemicals the human body wasn't designed to process???????

but you'll happily breathe in exhuast fumes and get covered in used engine oil/petrol/brake dust which is all carcinogenic?

[trigger]

I don't like girls who smoke neither, It's like coping of with an ashtray.

 

but you'll happily breathe in exhuast fumes and get covered in used engine oil/petrol/brake dust which is all carcinogenic?

It's not the same though, Once you have finished fixing your jalopy you can jump in the shower, chuck some clean rags on, a squirt of Tusk and your sorted, Cigarette smoke just clings to your clothes and skin, even when your clean and is always on your breath, Unless your a non smoker you can't tell.

[dollywobbler]

Trigger's right. I've never had anyone go 'ugh, you've been working on the car. You smell disgusting.' (well, unless I've splashed gearbox oil everywhere...) but hanging around with smokers makes you stink. I'm an ex-smoker so I'm allowed to get on my high horse.

 

I wouldn't want to kiss a girl who smokes in the same way that I don't really enjoy kissing the wife just after she's had a swig of beer. Passive drinking doesn't exist though, so beer is better than fags.

[Cavcraft]

I don't like the smell of cat shit but if Emma Bunton popped some into her socks I'd still do her.

 

Anyhow us smokers are therefore getting a better deal, because if we tapped off with some right bit of stuff we wouldn't have to care if she smoked like a laboratory beagle.

[eddyramrod]

I don't like girls who smoke neither, It's like coping of with an ashtray.

 

but you'll happily breathe in exhuast fumes and get covered in used engine oil/petrol/brake dust which is all carcinogenic?

It's not the same though, Once you have finished fixing your jalopy you can jump in the shower, chuck some clean rags on, a squirt of Tusk and your sorted, Cigarette smoke just clings to your clothes and skin, even when your clean and is always on your breath, Unless your a non smoker you can't tell.

Trigger, exactly (and notwithstanding what I said on the grin thread about Sheridan Smith...). Working on the car achieves something, at least that's the idea, and promotes the ability to get from A to B, like between home and work for example. Show me how smoking does that... anyone?

The only point I will take issue though is: I'm not a non-smoker. That implies that smoking is the natural condition and not-smoking is some kind of aberration from which one could be cured. I am a breather. Breathing is the natural condition and my right to it trumps anyone's right to smoke.

 

(Climbs down off high horse but keeps hold of the reins just in case!)

 

Meanwhile, since this IS the Grump room...

FUCKING INTERNET!!!

FUCKING PRINTER!!!

FUCKING INBOX!!!

FUCKING DOCX DOCUMENTS!!!

None of the above, as you may have guessed, are cooperating tonight. As if any of them ever did.

 

And as for being promoted just for arselicking... come on, you surely never thought actually being good at your job would be worth anything did you?

[chaseracer]

And as for being promoted just for arselicking... come on, you surely never thought actually being good at your job would be worth anything did you?

It is a well-known fact of corporate life that the more effective and efficient a person is in a given role the less likely they are to be promoted from it. And vice versa. Essentially: 'fuck up, move up' - and the browner the nose, the better.

 

A brief study of the management structure of my employer will support the above hypothesis...

[pompei]

B&Q. They seem to adopt the Couldn't-Care-Less approach to customer care. All I wanted was some wood delivered, I wasn't asking them to go to the rainforest and bring it back. Went instead to a timber merchant round the corner who couldn't have been more helpful.

[Pete-M]

FUCKING ANTI-SMOKING NAZIS.

 

Right, that's better.

[Lankytim]

I dont mind you smoking, Pete, just dont smoke for 30 mins or so if you want a snog from me.

[Cavcraft]

And as for being promoted just for arselicking... come on, you surely never thought actually being good at your job would be worth anything did you?

It is a well-known fact of corporate life that the more effective and efficient a person is in a given role the less likely they are to be promoted from it. And vice versa. Essentially: 'fuck up, move up' - and the browner the nose, the better.

 

A brief study of the management structure of my employer will support the above hypothesis...

Indeed.

 

I'd just like to add the twats who actually do the least work (and therefore spend more time telling their boss how hard they have worked) are more likely to win themselves Brownie points.

And that's before we get on to the plagiarists and the tossers who work shit loads of extra hours but 'don't want the overtime'.

Well they're welcome to it. Happy to be on the bottom rung of the ladder and stay there as long as neccessary.

[dollywobbler]

I dont mind you smoking, Pete, just dont smoke for 30 mins or so if you want a snog from me.

You've just made me have a Grin in the Grumpy thread. It feels like a paradox...

[Lord Sterling]

Fucking Internet. The program that opens up and connects me to the internet decided to fall over today, the day before I'm due to go away.

 

Tried to re-install the program to repair the corrupted file. No good. I can still connect. Though its going to be an PITA to explain how.

 

Other family members use my computer and are not as computer savvy as me, cue call to me whilst I'm supposed to be relaxing from one of them asking how to connect to the net.

 

I fucking hate this internet. Cant wait to get back into work, earn some dosh and have a proper connection installed.

 

[Pete-M]

I dont mind you smoking, Pete, just dont smoke for 30 mins or so if you want a snog from me.

You've just made me have a Grin in the Grumpy thread. It feels like a paradox...

30 minutes? Pah. you're not worth it

[autofive]

And as for being promoted just for arselicking... come on, you surely never thought actually being good at your job would be worth anything did you?

It is a well-known fact of corporate life that the more effective and efficient a person is in a given role the less likely they are to be promoted from it. And vice versa. Essentially: 'fuck up, move up' - and the browner the nose, the better.

 

A brief study of the management structure of my employer will support the above hypothesis...

Indeed.

 

I'd just like to add the twats who actually do the least work (and therefore spend more time telling their boss how hard they have worked) are more likely to win themselves Brownie points.

And that's before we get on to the plagiarists and the tossers who work shit loads of extra hours but 'don't want the overtime'.

Well they're welcome to it. Happy to be on the bottom rung of the ladder and stay there as long as neccessary.

this system works with car forums too

 

give em badges for grovelling

[Station]

Just replaced the screen in my mobile phone earlier in the day. Had to use a special screwdriver to remove the casing. I hadn't connected the screen up properly (screen was white), so I took my phone out of my pocket, the screwdriver somehow grabbed only the phone, launched itself and went straight down a grid. It didn't bounce on the grid sides, my eyes followed it and it went down without any trouble. Twat!

 

I gave up smoking for years, but started again several months ago, but I'm getting tired of it now, and it's costing too much. I love first ciggie of the morning, but after that it feels like you're just hardening your lungs further.

[warren t claim]

Fucking 3.20am and I've just woken up after the most horrific nightmare. I'm almost frightened to go back to sleep.

[Station]

What was it? I hate 'waking dreams', where you can't stop thinking mad stuff even though you're fully awake. It feels like you're going completely insane.

[brammy777]

The thing I hate the most is when your brain wakes up, but youre frozen in sleep. I had it the other day, managed to get my eyes open and it took a while (longer than normal) to snap myself out of sleep. I also didnt go back to sleep afterwards, I hate it! I once had a dream within a dream within a dream. I had my doubts when I woke up for real!

[Danblez]

The thing I hate the most is when your brain wakes up, but youre frozen in sleep. I had it the other day, managed to get my eyes open and it took a while (longer than normal) to snap myself out of sleep. I also didnt go back to sleep afterwards, I hate it! I once had a dream within a dream within a dream. I had my doubts when I woke up for real!

This happens to me and is quite common apparently, I have never managed to open my eyes but I am fully conscious and cant move anything. I can just about manage to breath more heavily and have asked Mrs D to wake me up now.

 

I also get the dream within a dream thing whereby I actually wake up in my dream and start my day but then realise I am still dreaming but fully awake ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can be the stuff of nightmares. Best thing to do is try and relax and go back to sleep but once you start to panic that's when things get a bit scary.

 

The first time it ever happened I dreamt someone had walked up the stairs into the bedroom and was standing over me. Apparently this feeling is also quite common and accounts for the stories of aliens standing in your room or ghosts sitting on your chest that certain cultures have etc.

[Station]

I'm trying to send a huge parcel of heavy shite to someone in Scotland- no problem, I say. He didn't say he was located in one of those crappy islands offshore that no-one will deliver to. Why do people do this, trying to pull a sly one and they know it's going to be a massive pain in the arse, it's going to cost way more that the postage covers! He can wait for a bit, the swine. ARGH. And another one to Isle Of frigging Man.

[Negative Creep]

Fucking 3.20am and I've just woken up after the most horrific nightmare. I'm almost frightened to go back to sleep.

I had that the other night - dreamt I climbed into a pool of water and shot to the bottom like I was holding an anvil. One the things that genuinely scares me in real life (drowning that is, not anvils)

[ashmicro]

The thing I hate the most is when your brain wakes up, but youre frozen in sleep. I had it the other day, managed to get my eyes open and it took a while (longer than normal) to snap myself out of sleep. I also didnt go back to sleep afterwards, I hate it! I once had a dream within a dream within a dream. I had my doubts when I woke up for real!

This happens to me and is quite common apparently, I have never managed to open my eyes but I am fully conscious and cant move anything. I can just about manage to breath more heavily and have asked Mrs D to wake me up now.

 

I also get the dream within a dream thing whereby I actually wake up in my dream and start my day but then realise I am still dreaming but fully awake ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! Can be the stuff of nightmares. Best thing to do is try and relax and go back to sleep but once you start to panic that's when things get a bit scary.

 

The first time it ever happened I dreamt someone had walked up the stairs into the bedroom and was standing over me. Apparently this feeling is also quite common and accounts for the stories of aliens standing in your room or ghosts sitting on your chest that certain cultures have etc.

My late Mrs. suffered from that. The medical term we were told was "sleep paralysis". Your brain "wakes up" but the body does not follow or repsond and you can't move of make a noise. Terrifying for me to watch, ten times worse for her. With the help of the GP, I got quite good at recognising when it was happening, and ptiing the light on or just squeezing her hand would bringe her "out". It did terrify her, and she told me that had she been alone, she'd have been afraid to go to sleep again.

 

For any of you folks who have experienced this, google "sleep paralysis" - there's a load of good info out there.

[cobblers]

I occasionally get sleep paralysis, and it's bloody horrible. Terrifying when you don't know what it is!

 

I'll wake up, but be unable to move at all. I find that if I really concentrate and try as hard as I can, I can move the tip of my finger, which turns into moving my hand, then arm and then I'm OK.

 

The effort it takes to move that finger though, it's insane!

 

I get it more often if I fall asleep with the TV on - I had a spell at uni where at around 2pm every day I'd not be able to keep my eyes open. If I was at home and fell asleep on the sofa watching TV, it would happen with annoying regularity. Perhaps it's the sound of the TV keeping my "brain" awake or something. I am not a neuroscientist nor do I play one on television.

[Station]

I've never had sleep paralysis, but I get horrible night terrors from time to time. Everynight I wake up sharply when I'm in the bit between awake and sleeping when your mind is going bananas.

The last time I had a waking dream was after watching a load of Twilight Zone episodes, and I was dreaming while I woke from sleep. I was actually in the Twilight Zone episode and I couldn't escape it. The thing that helped was going for a crap or making yourself sick (as I felt really nauseous), it must exert some pressure on the body and it fully wakes you up. Horrible though, bad sleep is a direct result of stress. Also, I stopped eating crap food and not eating a few hours before bed and it stopped.

 

I get the sharp awake thing when the TV is on as well.

[autofive]

I'm trying to send a huge parcel of heavy shite to someone in Scotland- no problem, I say. He didn't say he was located in one of those crappy islands offshore that no-one will deliver to. Why do people do this, trying to pull a sly one and they know it's going to be a massive pain in the arse, it's going to cost way more that the postage covers! He can wait for a bit, the swine. ARGH. And another one to Isle Of frigging Man.

try Paisley Frieght

[CIH]

I've never had sleep paralysis, but I get horrible night terrors from time to time. Everynight I wake up sharply when I'm in the bit between awake and sleeping when your mind is going bananas.

The last time I had a waking dream was after watching a load of Twilight Zone episodes, and I was dreaming while I woke from sleep. I was actually in the Twilight Zone episode and I couldn't escape it. The thing that helped was going for a crap or making yourself sick (as I felt really nauseous), it must exert some pressure on the body and it fully wakes you up. Horrible though, bad sleep is a direct result of stress. Also, I stopped eating crap food and not eating a few hours before bed and it stopped.

 

I get the sharp awake thing when the TV is on as well.

Haven't done so for a while bt i use to dream I was drowning. I'd actully feel myself sort of slipping away. In the ream I'd then decied to do something about it, like swim up or something. What was scarey was I'd wake up out of breath....

[warren t claim]

Is it just me that doesn't give a fuck whether a cricket match was rigged? Why has this been headline news for so long? I thought there were more important things happening in Pakistan at the moment?

 

For the record the only cricket I'm interested in looks very like a Hillman Avenger.

[mattblack]

Chris Evans on the radio this morning... commenting on some 'oh so whaky' charity rally to Bucharest for car costing less than £250, he said something along the lines of them being lucky if they make it Dover....

 

[dollywobbler]

Chris Evans on the radio this morning... commenting on some 'oh so whaky' charity rally to Bucharest for car costing less than £250, he said something along the lines of them being lucky if they make it Dover....

 

Yeah, he's been prime twatish this week. I think it was yesterday or the day before that he was all 'oooh, I drove into work in a Ford Ka. It was ok actually!' Oh how humble you are you big ginger twat.

 

Can't wait for my wife to quit work (one month left) and then we can set the alarm to 'don't come on' which'll be nice!

[M'coli]

Is it just me that doesn't give a fuck whether a cricket match was rigged? Why has this been headline news for so long? I thought there were more important things happening in Pakistan at the moment?

 

For the record the only cricket I'm interested in looks very like a Hillman Avenger.

I think the "scandal's" got more to do with big business rather than sport. There are much more important things than this going on in my back garden - like for example, the fact that my late-season potatoes have poked their way through the soil, and the pears on the pear tree are getting to the ripe stage.