The grumpy thread

[Station]

Ooh thanks! Everything's in, managed to fit the radiator and fan, new driveshaft, splicing wiring loom, even modified the mount. It won't start though, it's getting no fuel.

[Rocket88]

Right. Some scumbag who supposedly "won" my Pug 505 GRD Estate on ebay 10 days ago, has finally proved himself to be a complete non paying twat. I've decided that I want revenge. I have his mobile number. and his ebay email address. Any malevolent ideas how to make him suffer?

 

P.S. Peugeot back on ebay...........

[Albert Ross]

Do you think he likes pizza at midnight? Taxis all night long? Porn spam? If you have his address, you could arrange for all the incontinence pants brochures and Stannah stair lift mags to make it through the letter box.

 

Maybe send a box of dogshit via a third party?

[Cavcraft]

+1 on the taxis. 'Cheapest rates in town, after hours specialists'.

[Formula Autos]

Catalogues for expensive items in the mail might be a good wheeze. If they have a partner, something might catch their eye (an expensive holiday, perhaps?). You could bask in the knowledge that you've probably caused them major expense.

 

Then again, judging by their actions they sound like they may be an onanist, so perhaps live alone.

 

Taxis and pizzas it is then.

[pogweasel]

If you check out the options, does it not also give their postal address?

 

If so, simply go round their house and draw a massive cock and balls on their lawn in weedkiller. If you are feeling really vindictive, do a poo on their doorstep. JOB DONE.

[chester drawers]

At least the oatcakes I brought back were good.

 

They always are. None of that rubbery shit they sell in the supermarkets. The gaffer's a bit of a miserable bugger though isn't he?

[chester drawers]

Any malevolent ideas how to make him suffer?

 

Assorted god bothering outfits. Sign him up for as many as you can. They can't resist a whiff of potential cash.

[Cavcraft]

Birds.

 

'You never sit with me and watch telly anymore'.

 

So I'm sitting there watching the Brian Clough film* on BBC2.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

Yes love.

 

'Have you heard that new Gatecrasher' CD?

 

No love.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

Yes love.

 

'Did he manage Leeds and Derby then?'

 

Yes love.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

Take a wild fucking guess.

 

'What's up with you you miserable get?'

 

Trying to watch the film.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

No, it's fucking Robbie Williams.

 

'Ooh, I love Take That'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*And very enjoyable it was.

[Parky]

Plus one on the Clough thing....

 

"who was Brian Clough?"

"Is that Timothy Spall?"

"why do all the players look like they are from the seventies?"

"Oooh, ooh, I remember that bloke, wasnt he in that thing with Daniel Craig? Cake something?"

 

Likewise fag in the garden..............

[Angrydicky]

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment, I've been watching ebay & car&classic all day incase something pops up, This afternoon i have to go to the inlaws so about 1 1/2 hours later i get time to have a quick look on car&classic again to see that a 1970 Mk 2 Cortina 1300 in white had been posted a hour earlier, and that it looks like good condition with a years ticket and rare bench seats and column change all for £995 and it's only in Essex.

 

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C169982/

 

I quickly ring the owner up, it's near Chelmsford so not far, Belonged to his dad who's just died and just wants to get rid, Sadly though there was a bloke just about to come round to view it, He rings me back 25 mins later, It's just sold for the full asking price.

 

I'm gutted

Sorry to hear that Trigger, but to be honest it probably wasn't as good as it looked in the pictures, they rarely are, and something better will come along. I had a similar situation with a Morris Oxford I fancied a few months back, the bloke did want too much for it so I walked away, even though I did like it but not enough to pay what he wanted for it. There is so much choice tat you could buy with that BMW money, no need to buy an old Dagenham d*stbin is there now

 

Fancy an Austin A30/35? I reckon I could find you a tidy one of those within your budget, else pop over to Essex Triumph and see if there is anything equally antiquited and shite for sale. Sooner or later, you will find something really decent that will make you glad you didn't spend your money on something not as good.

[Angrydicky]

In case you fancy something a little older, here's some cool options for you to consider.

 

 

I think these are as cool as fuck. Plenty of ropey ones around.

 

Or this:

 

 

Or this:

 

 

Or even this:

 

 

[scaryoldcortina]

colc - my fave trick is placing a free ad in the local loot or adtrader for a ps3/xbox with games for £10. Last guy I did that to smashed a brand new phone to bits with a hammer in a fit of rage (heh heh)

 

My moan is about bloody recovery trucks and bloody MoTs. I am so sick of fixing this thing that I may well set fire to it tomorrow if it it doesn't pass this time. Rage is increased by it failing on a bottom ball joint that isn't fucking faulty (I should know, I am a tester too..) which I found out AFTER spending £27 and waiting 2 days for a new one. Without that, the blown bulb and minor welding would have been done same day and it would have made me money this weeend instead of grief.

 

PS, the bulb wasn't blown when I dropped it off and the welding isn't anywhere I'd consider structural. Fucker put a hole in the cab side after I spent a week welding the chassis GRRRRR

[trigger]

Cheers Dicky, I've also been a bit of a Ford man so that Cortina would have been a win for me, The owner said it could do with a respray and the 2nd gear was a bit notchy though at £995 i would afford a respray.

 

Anyway I've got £1700, I'm in no rush and i have a long list of car's i fancy, Not so keen on the A30/35's, Cute car's but not me, and the Mayflowers always remind me of a hearse.

 

The A55(?) above is nice though, I love that 50's style, I'd love a Consul or Zepyhr also but would never be able to afford a decent one.

 

And Colc, Sign them up for a Next cataloge, They get charged for it and will keep getting phone calls, They are a PITA.

[Angrydicky]

Not so keen on the A30/35's, Cute car's but not me, and the Mayflowers always remind me of a hearse.

 

The A55(?) above is nice though, I love that 50's style, I'd love a Consul or Zepyhr also but would never be able to afford a decent one.

 

 

Can't deny Mayflowers are shite though. Tiny pre-war sidevalve engine flat out at about 60mph, three speed gearbox, and the styling is very crap. Still, I'd roll in one

 

Yup I think it's an A55, now they are lovely cars with great character, the range starts with the A40 (1200/1500cc) and goes right up to the A105 whic has a massive straight six powerplant. All have bench style seats and column gearchange - a cheaper alternative to MK2 Consuls as they don't have the "rockabilly, etc" image and tax that the Fifties Fords have.

 

Another option is an FB Victor, like my dad's one - they seem very cheap at the moment and you could pick up a fairly tidy one within your budget. Obviously any car made before 1973 is tax exempt, which is always useful

 

I'll keep an eye out for suitable motas

[warren t claim]

Even after a month I still cannot get Cavettes Shut Up Woman Get On My Horse song out of my head. I need a labotomy.

[Claypole]

As part of this working for myself malarky I'm selling my bits and bobs on the excellent site that is Ebay.

 

I moan over it not being what it is etc. and the double molesting for two lots of fees with Paypal but it's got the coverage to be able to sell stuff and show pics and not have all and sundry turning up at the door.

 

 

Anyway, when and where in this land of ours did it become acceptable for people to make such retarded offers on things.

 

Now I'm all for a bit of haggling over a car or car boot stuff but honestly are people that RETARDED that they honestly think someone will accept these stupid offers.

 

Example is a laptop I have on - retail is £560, this is as new, boxed, I've reinstalled Windows and wiped it over, still has Acer warranty. I tried it as a fixed price but no takers just the usual nosey watchers so I threw it on for 99 pence, no reserve.

 

"Will you take £280 cash on collection?"

 

"Sure I will mate... not!"

 

(That's £7 more than I paid for it).

 

 

Bring back the days of Micro Mart please.

 

 

Still better than commuting 100 miles a day I suppose.

[rocco1504]

Sorry to hear that Trigger, but to be honest it probably wasn't as good as it looked in the pictures, they rarely are

No Shit, I went to see this

 

http://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C161235/

 

God, I should have taken a metal detector, it looked Sweet in the pics, it turned out to be a badly welded Patchwork, and rusty in all the wrong places.

I do wish that people would show the bad bits in listings, although it wasn't a completely wasted journey, as it was one of those areas where there was loads of old Tat stuck on peoples drives, a real AutoShitters Nirvana.

Me and Her spent about an hour driving around checking out anything that looked interesting

[Negative Creep]

 

 

Have to say it looks pretty damn ropey in that pic

[rocco1504]

Yeah, but no where near how BAD it actually is

 

i've seen less patches on a Quilt

[Angrydicky]

The useless catcha on the ASKMID website has rendered what was a great tool, useless. It keeps saying I've put the letters/numbers in wrong. FFS

[brammy777]

^ Sometimes Cartell imposes a limit on the amount of plates you can check a day, and it will tell you perfectly valid numberplates arent on the database, although I dont know if ASKMID does the same thing.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Birds.

 

'You never sit with me and watch telly anymore'.

 

So I'm sitting there watching the Brian Clough film* on BBC2.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

Yes love.

 

'Have you heard that new Gatecrasher' CD?

 

No love.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

Yes love.

 

'Did he manage Leeds and Derby then?'

 

Yes love.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

Take a wild fucking guess.

 

'What's up with you you miserable get?'

 

Trying to watch the film.

 

'Is that Brian Clough?'

 

No, it's fucking Robbie Williams.

 

'Ooh, I love Take That'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*And very enjoyable it was.

Aye, great film. The book is equally good too.

[rocco1504]

This pisses me off

Finding these in the Classic Vauxhall car section on Fleabay

 

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/VAUXHALL-CORSA-1- ... 3caed9fe4b

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/2007-VAUXHALL-AST ... 4cf0854e62

 

I personally would consider neither as being "Classic", and can't these Tw@ts read ?.

When I look in the Classic section I expect to see at least 10 yr old Shitters,

although there appears to be quite a few these days; is this some sort of new selling technique ?

[Inspector Morose]

"BBC iplayer is not supported outside the UK" Arse. No Top Gear for me then...

 

Still in Ireland driving a Metrobus to all 121 Lidl stores for their 10th anniversary over there. In four and a bit weeks. Four to five stores a day. Seven days a week. F**ked.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The useless catcha on the ASKMID website has rendered what was a great tool, useless. It keeps saying I've put the letters/numbers in wrong. FFS

[âœâ€] Tick this box to confirm this vehicle is yours. It is none of your business if that grotty Mondeo with foam spew bumpers is insured, even if it has been parked there for a couple of days and you have to park two houses away. It is a mega serious offence (worse than murder) under the data protection act for you to know whether or not someone is insured. Unless you pay us £3.50 first.

[Tayne]

.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Anyone can use it for free, but only for your own car. Although aside from the checkbox, there are no controls over this.

[ChinaTom]

"BBC iplayer is not supported outside the UK" Arse. No Top Gear for me then...

 

Still in Ireland driving a Metrobus to all 121 Lidl stores for their 10th anniversary over there. In four and a bit weeks. Four to five stores a day. Seven days a week. F**ked.

Download IDC.exe - sure it costs a little, but if you're out of UK for long periods I reckon it is worth it.

[AnthonyG]

"BBC iplayer is not supported outside the UK" Arse. No Top Gear for me then...

 

Still in Ireland driving a Metrobus to all 121 Lidl stores for their 10th anniversary over there. In four and a bit weeks. Four to five stores a day. Seven days a week. F**ked.

Sounds like a very autoshite sort of company celebration!