The grumpy thread

[Tamworthbay]

A couple of times when I’ve had a skinful the wife says I have got up in the night and done something daft, like talking to the wardrobe of just stood with one arm behind the curtain. I have no recollection whatsoever in th morning. It’s only a recent thing though.

when we first moved into our present house I walked into a wall a couple of times when well soaked and also scrabbled around for the handle to the door on the wrong wall, the door was a different wall to the previous house. Luckily I always managed to wake myself up by bouncing off the wall as if I had got out the room and turned the right way to the loo for the old house I would have been down the stairs.

[Alfamale]

I also have an issue when I come back home after staying away, whether drunk or not. I wake in the middle of the night and takes me a while to work out where I am. Never when I’m away, only when I get home.

[SiC]

I don't sleep walk or talk, however my wife does. I often get a right telling off for stuff I haven't done. The other night apparently I painted the ceiling and it was dripping all over the bed.

 

 

(Before any one says ... I'm not that good...)

[AMC Rebel]

Bloke I shared a room with at University (see how old I am) used to get up and piss in his wardrobe after we'd been out for a few (too many) beers.  Sadly no longer with us.

[Tamworthbay]

Bloke I shared a room with at University (see how old I am) used to get up and piss in his wardrobe after we'd been out for a few (too many) beers.  Sadly no longer with us.

As long as it was HIS wardrobe........

[AMC Rebel]

Fucking cats.

 

2 cats, two litter trays.  How the fuck can they manage to piss past the liner, and the litter so they fill up the tray with rancid cat piss and leave the litter dry?

 

Useless bastards.

[Guest Hooli]

But that's what nextdoor's garden is for.

[dozeydustman]

Fucking cats.

 

2 cats, two litter trays.  How the fuck can they manage to piss past the liner, and the litter so they fill up the tray with rancid cat piss and leave the litter dry?

 

Useless bastards.

 

 

Because cats are twats. They will deliberately go out of their way to upset their 'owner'. If I posted on this thread about our 2 cats being twats the grumpy old man thread would be the anti-cat thread. 

 

Cats are complete and utter wankers.

[AMC Rebel]

It's almost as if they know I don't like them

[robinmasters]

I'm 42, only take 3 pills a day, and have resorted to these. It's not that I forget to take them, just that I'm never sure if the memory I have of taking them was today, yesterday or a week last Tuesday.

[dozeydustman]

PX them in for a nice Labrador or Alsatian.

[AMC Rebel]

PX them in for a nice Labrador or Alsatian.

 

I would love to - unfortunately they came as a package deal with Ms Rebel.  

She shares my hope that whilst we will not do anything to help, the cats will die soon so we can get a proper pet.

[DodgeRover]

I would love to - unfortunately they came as a package deal with Ms Rebel.

She shares my hope that whilst we will not do anything to help, the cats will die soon so we can get a proper pet.

Weimaraners love* cats and can move fast enough to catch them.

[omegod]

I once got up and pissed on the gas heater in my bedroom, kind of came to half way through and stumbled backward and effectively sat into an old Victorian freestanding mirror, big shard of it stuck into my back a couple of inches , I stood up and realised what was sticking out of my back then promptly fainted, fortunately falling onto my front otherwise i'd have skewered myself  

[Guest Hooli]

I bet they didn't believe you at A&E either.

[anonymous user]

I bet they didn't believe you at A&E either.

I think they reserve the non believing for incidents involving cucumbers and vacuum cleaners

[dean36014]

Just walking round the garden and my legs gave way for no reason. Ended up falling backwards into a rubbish pile and landed on my back in a pile of bricks straight onto where I had my back op 8 weeks ago. Feel really shock up and in pain trying to get the confidence to move from where I'm sitting. And for good measure I've cracked the screen on this phone too. Bloody typical, I'm supposed to be back at work tomorrow

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Bloke I shared a room with at University (see how old I am) used to get up and piss in his wardrobe after we'd been out for a few (too many) beers.  Sadly no longer with us.

 

 

At a party a few years ago, my mate managed to get himself absolutely smashed before 5PM.  I found him passed out on his bed.  He then got up and pissed into a backpack - which belonged to one of his guests.  His fiancée (surprisingly now married) came in and he turned around and pissed on her.

 

I remind him of it every time I see him.

[Remspoor]

Oh my what are you lot on? Date reminder for "pills", nightmares, Crazy dreams and wondering how the fudge you got where you woke up?

Or have I got this all wrong?

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Cocaine is a Hell of a drug.

[stephen01]

My friends ex husband died last night / this morning, he'd have been 42 tomorrow. He leaves behind his two kids who I've watched grow up for the past 11 and 10 years.

 

Been to watch the kids play football today, fell utterly gutted for his kids and our friend, after all they were married for 5 years and had two kids together.

[hairnet]

Mother fucker

 

On the upside this happened

Slow sometime on Saturday

 

Pumped up in Cirencester went to Stratford came back to it and flat

 

Pumped up and made it home even tho planned on stopping

 

New one tomorrow

[Christine]

Daughter tantrum , Dell laptop won't turn on, I need a new one...

Let me see .

No,you don't know anything about laptops ,  (quite true !)

I need a new one its ancient...   ( also true i suppose) and I have to do homework before next week

 

Prised it off her ,sure enough it wont turn on. just goes hum,  ding ding ding ..

But i can fix anything... if it saves money ...Usually..

 

Mum buckles,  and they go off to pc world .

 

They'll be gone for 1 hour....I get me screwdriver , whip off the back , following youtube instuctions  , oh fuck me sideways    that looks complicated inside  ..blow out some dust while i'm in there , and put the back on again ..lost 2 screws  .bollocks to that , anyway it doesn't work now ,does it ??.

 

Hit the ON button , and it works again . Then they arrive home with a brand new new Acer ...

[anonymous user]

Congratulations you now have a new (old) computer of your very own

[Guest Hooli]

At least she can get all her files off it now. Easy enough to map a drive to it from the new lappy & copy everything she wants over. Unless you have a USB stick to do it the dull sensible way.

[Christine]

At least she can get all her files off it now. Easy enough to map a drive to it from the new lappy & copy everything she wants over. Unless you have a USB stick to do it the dull sensible way.

I have no idea what you're on about... I still do vinyl and cassettes, just discovered CD's     phone with buttons , and this pc is a 12 years old  xp ... Only files i use are metal ones .

 

It ain't a laptop you div.... it's a chromebook ! Whatever that is ...

[Guest Hooli]

Ahh well, it's even more use you fixed the old one then. As far as I know Chromebooks don't store anything locally, so she'll need to upload her homework etc to a google drive to be able to access it on the Chromebook.

 

She'll work it out, kids always do.

[Christine]

They tried to sell her a something program , but being wise to this sort of shit she said No , i can get it free , as a Happ....or sommat like that 

[Guest Hooli]

Chromebooks do have local storage, just not oodles of it (mine has 16GB, for example), but they usually come with a good wedge of Google drive storage foc

 

Fair enough, I've never actually touched one.

[Christine]

I have , it's a gold colour