The grumpy thread

[sierraman]

When I was on the road those 500ml bottles were useless, once you had fudged your old man into them, they'd fill up in an instant, overflowing all over the place.

 

Unless you were desp you would pull up at a layby and piss on the wheel like everyone else does.

[Cavcraft]

I wish I'd bought my baked beans online. Heinz site's a wonderful thing.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....amongst the bottles of PISS. ...

If it was in IRN-BRU bottles, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

[Des]

Yeah...Adrian Flux definitely won't be retaining my custom come renewal time.

 

I was ringing around for insurance the other day, none of the bastards were happy for me to enjoy the convenience of a tail lift, like I'm going to use it as a picnic table on the hard shoulder or something.  I got to that bit where they transfer me to a sister company who should be able to 'help' me, I only got put through to those Flux fuckers, I went along with it for the sneer, they impressively managed to near double the best quote I'd had thus far, but in fairness to them, didn't suggest I lie about modifications or overnight parking as they have in the past to satiate their greed for business.

[Jim Bell]

I wish I'd bought my baked beans online. Heinz site's a wonderful thing.

7/59

[Kiltox]

If it was in IRN-BRU bottles, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Especially that new reduced sugar shite

[Talbot]

I wish I'd bought my baked beans online. Heinz site's a wonderful thing.

That took me too long. Much too long, I must be getting senile.

 

 

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? Bought a warehouse.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Especially that new reduced sugar shite

Probably contains salts.

[Parky]

About to eBay some odds and sods. Whatsapp'd Mrs P to let her know.

 

No objections from her to any of it, but apparently I can't sell my biking jacket. Originally my brother in law gave this to me in exchange for a treadmill - ours had a control module fault, his had a motor fault so we did a swap. I know for sure he sold off other parts from it which is fair enough, it was his to do with as he pleases.

 

Mrs P however believes that as it used to belong to him, I should offer it back to him (for free) or give him the money when I sell it. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that if something belongs to me it's up to me what the fuck I do with it???

 

I mean I am not likely to call Seat in Colchester and say "alright! I bought a car from you about ten years ago and as I am a bit bored of it, would you like it back? Or shall I sell it and give you the money?"

 

Women's logic. FFS. It's the same logic that dictates our garage is full of kids books, baby furniture and kids clothes because one day one of her friends will have a baby and it will be handy for them. Have any of them wanted our leftovers? Nope. But there is always someone isn't there?

 

"No don't sell that highchair - Kate has just started seeing a bloke and if they get married and have a baby it might come in handy for them"

 

Getting to the stage where I am saying to blokes at functions "Can you hurry up and get her up the duff? I have a garage load of baby shite I am looking to unload on some poor sap and you look like a good candidate"

 

Funnily enough, many of Mrs P's friends relationships break up within a few days of me having this conversation...

[Parky]

Bit worried about a friend of mine who works for the RAC. He's heading for a breakdown

[sierraman]

About to eBay some odds and sods. Whatsapp'd Mrs P to let her know.

 

No objections from her to any of it, but apparently I can't sell my biking jacket. Originally my brother in law gave this to me in exchange for a treadmill - ours had a control module fault, his had a motor fault so we did a swap. I know for sure he sold off other parts from it which is fair enough, it was his to do with as he pleases.

 

Mrs P however believes that as it used to belong to him, I should offer it back to him (for free) or give him the money when I sell it. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that if something belongs to me it's up to me what the fuck I do with it???

 

I mean I am not likely to call Seat in Colchester and say "alright! I bought a car from you about ten years ago and as I am a bit bored of it, would you like it back? Or shall I sell it and give you the money?"

 

Women's logic. FFS. It's the same logic that dictates our garage is full of kids books, baby furniture and kids clothes because one day one of her friends will have a baby and it will be handy for them. Have any of them wanted our leftovers? Nope. But there is always someone isn't there?

 

"No don't sell that highchair - Kate has just started seeing a bloke and if they get married and have a baby it might come in handy for them"

 

Getting to the stage where I am saying to blokes at functions "Can you hurry up and get her up the duff? I have a garage load of baby shite I am looking to unload on some poor sap and you look like a good candidate"

 

Funnily enough, many of Mrs P's friends relationships break up within a few days of me having this conversation...

That post pretty much sums up the conversation I have every time I go in the loft.

[AlabamaShrimp]

I got given a laptop by my wife sister. Nothing wrong with it and worth quite a bit. Same situation as Parky, if I sold it Mrs Shrimp says I should give the sister some of the money. Why she didn't give a shit and gave it away.

 

Needless to say I never bothered selling it and now it's worth exactly fuck all. I'm sure mini Shrimp will think it's amazing.

[Parky]

Its daft logic isn't it?

 

Like going round a mates house and saying "Alright Steve, haven't seen you for 25 years! Anyway, you remember that Stone Roses cd you bought me for my 20th? No? Ah well anyway, I just flogged it to Music Magpie so here's 25p. Alright, see ya!"

 

I mean I would be annoyed if I had specifically said to someone they could borrow something and they then sold it because they "forgot" it was mine, that would be annoying (and explains why I haven't seen Steve for 25 years).

 

But if someone gives you something, it is then yours to do with as you please in my book. Ah well, as soon as my listings sell for loads more than expected (which they definitely definitely will), Mrs P will be wanting to sell everything!

[320touring]

Spy car for sale on Facebook, no MOT, £750.

 

Reasonable price for what it is. Obviously, it's at the other end of the country.

 

Recruit helpful south west shiter(Dick Longbridge) to view.

Lose 3 days trying to arrange viewing.

 

Get told by seller "I'm going to MOT it and re advertise".

 

#bullshitalarmson..

 

Good lady really wants car, so agree to hear back from vendor once MOT'D.

 

3 Days pass. No news. I chase.

 

Receive this:

 

 

Oh well

[Mr_Bo11ox]

LOL!!! You're dealing with a proper Tom Hartley Jr there

[Datsuncog]

^^^ Isn't this where you come back to him offering £3000, but only if he kicks all the panels in and slashes the tyres first?

 

Then block his number.

[320touring]

I'mma sit it out.

 

I reckon all 34 of his imaginary buyers will be diverted to Ghosty's Volvo, and I can swoop in and save the day later..

[Pillock]

Simply offer £1750 with an MOT and block his number.

[Parky]

Spy car for sale on Facebook, no MOT, £750.

Reasonable price for what it is. Obviously, it's at the other end of the country.

Recruit helpful south west shiter(Dick Longbridge) to view.

Lose 3 days trying to arrange viewing.

Get told by seller "I'm going to MOT it and re advertise".

#bullshitalarmson..

Good lady really wants car, so agree to hear back from vendor once MOT'D.

3 Days pass. No news. I chase.

Receive this:

Screenshot_20180329-140509.png

Oh well

I would say "Ah well, thems the breaks. Personally I wouldn't pay £1500 for a car with no MOT so I won't be accepting your kind offer of offering more. If however your £1500 buyer turns out to be a time waster I would be happy to honour the original price you advertised the car for"

 

I think that incorporates adequate sarcasm while leaving the guy with a £750 offer in his pocket when he realises his tactic hasn't worked. And if he crawls back in a week to ask if you are still interested in the car, offer £750 with a full MOT or £500 as is.

 

Bernie Fineman wouldn't take this shit and nor should you. Bladdy 'ell Mawio!

[Kiltox]

£5000 as long as it’s tested and the coolant is replaced with unicorn jizz

[Tadhg Tiogar]

^^^ Isn't this where you come back to him offering £3000, but only if he kicks all the panels in and slashes the tyres first?

 

Then block his number.

 

He's probably got someone shilling it upwards on eBay. Assuming the car actually exists at all.

[Parky]

Maybe he is holding out for a broken XBox

[Slartibartfast]

I think if the seller is proven to be a dickhead then just move on. Plenty of cars out there and this one looked so good because it wasn't true.

[Supernaut]

[sierraman]

This bidding war shit seems the norm now. I'd tell him to sell it the other guy if he's that stupid to offer nearly double.

 

Its a scam. If you saw a car for sale, would you go "tell you what I'll give you double if that's OK". Not fucking likely.

[fordperv]

Sounds like a cock warbler of the highest degree

[AlabamaShrimp]

Maybe he is holding out for a broken XBox

Or a hero?

 

 

 

Sod I bought him a whole box

 

[Parky]

I have that song stuck in my head now. Cheers for that....

[Cavcraft]

The price is the price originally asked for. Even if £1,550 is still cheap, it's the principle that's important. Tell him to shove it up his arse.

[strangeangel]

Tell him to shove it up his arse.

 

This. If you get the slightest inkling that your potential seller is a bellend, heed it well because you'll almost certainly end up having your time wasted. Better to just accept that not everyone can manage to conduct themselves appropriately in these situations, and move on.