The grumpy thread

[tooSavvy]

I blame the older generations for pretty much all of the problems we have nowadays. Including electric parking brakes.

I came on here to bemoan unnecessary complication of 'simply driving the damn thing', when I got a new Pug Partner...

 

Hill-Assist was a real revelation = foot off brake/clutch/gas Vroom..

 

*1vote to BINN E-handbrake

** Never used one, mind

 

 

TS

[dave21478]

Locally we have a very reliable and friendly Yodel lady, which lead to the following joke:

 

Knock knock?

Who's there?

Yodel lady?

 

ooof.

 

This is the second time I have had to use this gif today.

[Mr A Lawrence]

Today I'd like to know why other drivers get in an instant shit if any dares do something they take as a criticism of their driving.

 

I'm sat in thr Frontera, indicator on to turn right into a car park.

Bloke 35-45 in some kind of BMW coming towards me. He's some distance off but swerving in the road due to him rubbernecking two traffic wardens on the other side of the road.

I lift my right hand. Partly to steer as he's getting close and partly to say "oh dipshit your looking sideway swerving in the road.

 

Said bloke instantly looses it and starts sticking his finger up. Now I may be wrong but that is just a tiny bit of an overreaction...

there is the problem in plain sight

[Zelandeth]

My local chippy changed hands recently.

 

They apparently now don't sell scampi.

 

You're a chippy...you have one bloody job to do...

[AlabamaShrimp]

I've never been into a chip shop that sells scampi.

[MarvinsMom]

The Equalizer; the Equalizer is Edward Woodward in a sharp suit and a splendid wool overcoat rolling about New York in an XJ12 righting wrongs, not Hong Kong Phooey working in Home Depot. They might as well have called the film The Killing of Sister George for all relation it has with the source material.

efa

[somewhatfoolish]

A good sign your area is being gentrified; your chipper starts selling scallop suppers. Not really a grump though as they were very good.

[108]

When your local chipper calls them onion scallops instead of onion rings.

 

Although you do get a Slice of onion in batter, so it's not all bad.

[Alfamale]

Years ago our local chippy used to do sheppies. Minced meat and mash potato mixed together then battered and deep fried. Really miss those and never seen them anywhere else.

[M'coli]

I haven't had to tolerate any such vacuous guff since I shit-canned Farcebook about 6 years ago.

 

I haven't missed it at all, nor have I suffered any social disadvantage by 'only' knowing my friends in the real world.

 

Farcebook is a social leech that manipulates the tiny minds of its addicts to make itself seem important and useful... it's not.

I must admit, I'm addicted - in particular to this group, and the wonderful photos therein:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/f1wingcarsera7882/

 

[mercrocker]

Years ago our local chippy used to do sheppies. Minced meat and mash potato mixed together then battered and deep fried. Really miss those and never seen them anywhere else.

 

Oooh fuck I would like one of them....(right after my next cholesterol check)

[Guest Hooli]

Farcebook is a social leech that manipulates the tiny minds of its addicts to make itself seem important and useful... it's not.

 

FB is great if you don't make the mistake of adding anyone to your friends list. Mine just shows British history, WW2, aircraft & ships etc.

[John F]

Hooli, on 22 Mar 2018 - 11:15 PM, said:

FB is great if you don't make the mistake of adding anyone to your friends list. Mine just shows British history, WW2, aircraft & ships etc.

 

Meh. I just use the rest of the Internet for that stuff.

[Cavcraft]

Took my bike out of the van, to put into the Meriva as it’s got petrol in it.

Trying to work out how to fold the back seats down, stuck my head inside, pulled a lever and the bastard seat back flew forward like a bullet, and the plastic bit at the top twatted me right at the side of my eye. Pissed out blood from my head for what seemed like ages, and now got a BFO lump.

[chaseracer]

None of us are laughing, Billy - honest...

[Mr A Lawrence]

[oldcars]

Took my bike out of the van, to put into the Meriva as it’s got petrol in it.

Trying to work out how to fold the back seats down, stuck my head inside, pulled a lever and the bastard seat back flew forward like a bullet, and the plastic bit at the top twatted me right at the side of my eye. Pissed out blood from my head for what seemed like ages, and now got a BFO lump.

Nightmare. Weigh the Meriva in. You will have the last laugh.

[chaseracer]

Nightmare. Weigh the Meriva in. You will have the last laugh.

 

I like your thinking...

[beko1987]

You'll also clamp your finger in the stupid middle seat lever, fucking thing!

 

Middle seat down first, then the outer ones. Don't do what Amy did and put the middle seat up first as it'll jam the outer two. The kids used to love the middle seat being down and the two side ones slid across a bit.

 

If your sliding bits of wood up the seats they will catch on the cup holders moulded into the back of the middle seat and stop dead. You won't notice this and fuck your hand up, or whatever jammed will recoil back and smack you in the bollocks.

[cpjitservices]

I like these calls we keep getting at the office, 'Hi Sir can we speak to someone so we can discuss how you can get better energy', not better energy prices or tariffs, energy... So what? Does it make the lights brighter? I'm guessing the servers will run better with better energy? Maybe... the kettle will boil quicker?.

 

Fuck wits.

[oldcars]

I get them. "Can i speak with the person that deals with the Electric please" I say we have a wind farm onsite.

[mercrocker]

Next time, put the phone down and when it rings again pick it up saying  "Howdy, Huntsville Penitentiary, Execution Unit"

[alcyonecorporation]

"Hello, I'm calling about your accident"

 

'I have many accidents, which one are you talking about?'

 

"The one which took place in Mar-"

 

'What about the one I'm having now? The trouser accident, thinking about you? I've been waiting for you to call back. I've been waiting my entire life'

 

[HEAVY BREATHING]

 

*agent ends the call*

[madrat]

Why do some YouTubers think it's necessary to have intro or background music at volume level 600+

[beko1987]

Why do some YouTubers think it's necessary to have intro or background music at volume level 600+

Wakes you up! I had to dial mine down after someone complained, I hadn't noticed whilst editing it together

[AMC Rebel]

"Hello, I'm calling about your accident"

 

'I have many accidents, which one are you talking about?'

 

"The one which took place in Mar-"

 

'What about the one I'm having now? The trouser accident, thinking about you? I've been waiting for you to call back. I've been waiting my entire life'

 

[HEAVY BREATHING]

 

*agent ends the call*

 

I had one of these -

 

My reply was "yes I was in an accident - in fact it was so serious I died in it"

 

He then said "well you can go and fuck your mother, sir" then he put the phone down

 

I liked how he was polite in delivering the insult.

[beko1987]

Fuck you ebay

 

 

40 minutes ago I could have sent Gareth £50 and we could have got £75 off all our parts

 

Bastards

[HillmanImp]

Fuck you ebay

 

Screenshot_20180323-120405.png

 

40 minutes ago I could have sent Gareth £50 and we could have got £75 off all our parts

 

Bastards

 

Ta for that. I just got £10 off a new skateboard deck....er....for my son. Yeah, Definitely for him, otherwise it might look like I'm having a midlife crisis or something.

[Jazoli]

Fuck you ebay

 

Screenshot_20180323-120405.png

 

40 minutes ago I could have sent Gareth £50 and we could have got £75 off all our parts

 

Bastards

 

Nope, vehicle parts and accessories are not included in the promotion as I've just tried it to buy some bluetooth intercoms for the bike and some brake discs.

[Cavcraft]

Anyone who rings you at home trying to sell you stuff, especially if you’re on the TPS thing, deserves everything they get abuse wise.