The grumpy thread

[Timewaster]

I thought all these new cars had parking sensors that get very excited if came within 12" of anything else?

Edited so as not to offend Mrs. Tops (Who works with those who have Learning difficulties)

 

Anyway - Parking sensors - How shit are they?!

My work van ('07 Iveco Daily) has these fitted and the dam things are triggered by almost anything. Their favorite false alarm is GRAVEL.

GR2 for reversing up your driveway!

 

Ignoring these useless bloody things and sticking your head out of the window results in:

 

1. Very loud reversing bleeper. BLEEP - BLEEP - BLEEP - BLEEP

 

2. Reversing sensor bleeper. BLIP BLIP BLIP BLIPBLIPBLIPBLIP BLEEEEP

 

3. Seatbelt warning bleeper. BING BING BING BING BING BING

 

Arrrrrrrrrgh!

[maxpower]

neighbours

if you wish to listen to very loud reggae music with all your invited guests screaming loudly at your musical taste, then by all means do so... BUT CLOSE YOUR FECKING WINDOWS!! so we don't have to listen to that shite as well

[Marshall]

(Watching I'm in a rock n roll band) Lauren Laverne is soooooooo fucking shit its unbelievable. She really rubs me up the wrong way. That is all. K THNX BAI.

[Guest]

I thought all these new cars had parking sensors that went spastic if came within 12" of anything else?

I think his neighbour is the 12" plastic spastic TBH.

 

We have a comical parking arrangement at work which is similarly abused. I took the Volvo in to work and someone parked their white '09 Corsa 1/10th of an inch off the back bumper. One of the overrider bolts is missing its cap and would have punched through the plastic had she gone any closer.

 

Conveniently for me I had some HARDCORE tools in my boot, which I was taking to the unit for SCTSH_ANDY so that he could swear at his missus' 405. I made damn sure she was watching, whipped the sledgehammer out of my boot, perched it on my shoulder and walked slowly round her car, admiring the piss poor orange peel effect that comes free with every Corsa bought on tick. This had her concerned, and she came wobbling down the stairs to squawk at me.

 

I trudged back to the Volvo, which on full choke blasts soot and unburnt fuel out of the back box on start up. Before she could move her scrote box I'd fired up, leaving a lovely black ring on her bumper. It doesn't wash off without a lot of effort.

 

Oddly, she never parked behind me again.

[Guest]

(Watching I'm in a rock n roll band) Lauren Laverne is soooooooo fucking shit its unbelievable. She really rubs me up something fucking rotten though. That is all. K THNX BAI.

EFA.

[Marshall]

Eh?

[Guest]

Eh?

I would, despite the shit TV she has been involved with.

[Marshall]

Really. I can agree she aint bad looking tbh but the fact she annoys me so much overides any of that - I would feel I had let myself down. lol

[seth]

I was sat in a fast food veggie place in town next to Ms Laverne a couple of years ago. She was talking on her phone to someone or other - possibly insurers/bank or something and mentioned quite a lot of personal details. Just as well I'm not a crazed stalker eh?!

[CIH]

missed you're chance there, seth dude....

[pogweasel]

Lauren Laverne can do no wrong in my eyes.

Plus, I had a Kenickie-fest yesterday afternoon while everyone else was out...

[myglaren]

Saw her on "Buzzcocks" or something similar and thought she was OK. My son knows her (she's a local) and has no time whatever for her.

 

Never actually listened to Kennickie although they were hoisted as "The Next Big Thing" around here.

[Pete-M]

Lauren Laverne? Oh aye, I'd violate that.

[Pillock]

Lauren Laverne can do no wrong in my eyes.

Plus, I had a Kenickie-fest yesterday afternoon while everyone else was out...

I read that as "knuckle-fest"....

[Station]

Is this the same person? She doesn't do a single thing for me, seems a bit too plain.

 

[Pete-M]

Yup that's her. I'd do her. She may not be drop dead stunning, but she's cute, she's funny, she likes music and she appears to have a filthy sense of humour.

 

Vastly preferable to some gorgeous bint who's only interest in life is how much she can get out of your bank.

 

I'd pick Laverne over Cheryl Tweedy Cole any day of the week.

[Rusty Pelican]

Girl next door look , OH yes

[RedSparrow]

Hmm, yeah she's not obviously attractive but there is something about her. Maybe it is the dry sense of humour, which is rare in the ladies!

[Father Ted]

Olympus Mu 550WP.

 

Supposedly waterproof to a depth of 10 feet - has water ingress and is doing a brilliant impression of a paperweight after one session in the swimming pool to a depth of no more than 6 feet.

 

Can I find my receipt for it? Can I fuck

[Polystratus]

Olympus Mu 550WP.

 

Supposedly waterproof to a depth of 10 feet - has water ingress and is doing a brilliant impression of a paperweight after one session in the swimming pool to a depth of no more than 6 feet.

 

Can I find my receipt for it? Can I fuck

Olympus Mju 550WP Waterproof camera

Olympus continues to develop new products that encourage consumers to capture brilliant images in some of the world’s most challenging environments and situations. The Olympus Mju 550WP can go where other cameras fear to tread and can perform as well under water as it does on land because of its slim lightweight, aluminum exterior that is sealed from the elements by interior rubber gaskets and O-rings. The Olympus 550WP can be submerged up to 10 feet under water, and the inclusion of an underwater scene mode makes it ideal for taking photos while snorkeling, in the pool, or riding the waterslide.

Missing O-rings and rubber gaskets?

[Father Ted]

Well, the ones I can see are there (battery cover and firewire cover) other than that I have no idea if they are missing. I bought it last year, but only just used underwater this weekend at center parcs.

 

Cock.

[Marshall]

Im fraid I cannot be persuaded of the merits of Ms Laverne. On the other hand Jo Whiley, as someone recently pointed out is someone who knows her stuff - very knowledgeable and (as was pointed out) far to informed for Radio 1. Also, I know she has mileage issues but i think I could be persuaded to carry out a full service on her as an when required!

[sporty-shite]

Im fraid I cannot be persuaded of the merits of Ms Laverne. On the other hand Jo Whiley, as someone recently pointed out is someone who knows her stuff - very knowledgeable and (as was pointed out) far to informed for Radio 1. Also, I know she has mileage issues but i think I could be persuaded to carry out a full service on her as an when required!

Sorry, but I cannot abide Jo Whiney. Have you heard the way she interviews? It's a surprise you can hear her voice from so far up the interviewee's arse. And, personally, I'm not sure she knows much, other than the hype the record companies give her.

 

One of the many reasons I don't listen to Radio 1.

[Pete-M]

Indeed. I used to like Jo Whiney, but the last few times I've listened to her I've not been impressed.

 

Young Ms Laverne also has a rather cute accent, as opposed to Whiney's southern one.

[Cavcraft]

I'd nail that bint at the top of this page if she asked me nicely.

[Marshall]

I'd nail that bint at the top of this page if she asked me nicely.

Short and to the point Cavette. Fair play to you for that!

 

Just make sure she doesnt hang around too long afterwards okay

[outlaw118]

Lauren laverne v Jo Whiley.....

 

No competition, Laverne every time.

I'd ruin it.

It's not the size of the nail, but the size of the hammer....and my hammer weighs over 19 stone....

[Marshall]

LOLZ ^^^^^

[Guest]

Considering what the average Autoshiter looks like, I think a lot of you might want to lower your standards a bit.

[Cavcraft]

Considering what the average Autoshiter looks like, I think a lot of you might want to lower your standards a bit.

+1.

 

Thora Hird in sussies?