The grumpy thread

[wuvvum]

Just had the Movano engine run away on me.  The van had been sat for a few weeks so I fired it up and left it idling for 30 minutes to put a bit of charge in the battery.  Went back to it and the exhaust was a little bit smoky (although nowt excessive) so I gave it a rev to see if it'd clear - it chucked out a big cloud of grey smoke, which it has done before when it's been stood.  Revved it again and it just kept on going, turning the ignition off made no difference.  The old trick of 5th gear, hard on the brakes and dump the clutch made it STFU, but I now have to leave it for a few hours until the oil goes viscous again before I can start it back up and move it back into its parking space.

 

Question: apart from shagged turbo seals, what else can make a modernish diesel engine nom its own oil like that?  (apart from overfilling with oil obvs, which this wasn't as the low oil level warning light has been on since it came off the road).

[dave21478]

Overtaking. Isn't it the done thing anymore?

 

Don't get all flappy at me because I had the wit to take the initiative and overtake all 5 of you doing 35 on the long straight clear stretch of NSL road.

 

I think overtaking is classed as a hate-crime these days.

 

Its the automotive equivalent of slapping a guys wife on the arse and saying "you could never satisfy her with your tiny little dong, send her home with me and I will show her a real man".

It seems to be a huge affront to peoples ego/masculinity/whatever. If I had a pound for every time someone flipped out at me for overtaking them, Id have about 14 quid.

[beko1987]

A vauxhall Zafira 1.8 doing a ton is a horrible place to be, doing 5.5k,steering slightly light and 24mpg showing on the display... Allegedly

 

And to the audi in l2 of the m40 with a clear l1, you sir, are a twat, and I'm glad your missus was bollocking you after I'd sat behind for 5 minutes full beaming you, my high headlights shining right in your mirrors. maybe don't be a cock and pull over rather than do 65 in l2 at 9am.

 

Sadly, all that did make me look like the stereotype Zafira B driver, for which I am slightly ashamed about, but not much. That's twice on a Saturday I've had cause to flash someone out of the way, never happens commuting to work, standard must be higher, or some people only drive on a motorway at the weekend

[gm]

I'm sitting having a coffee in wetherspoons in irvine wishing that I'd bought a return train ticket as the car I came to buy turned out to be a nail

 

(irvine is two trains = a two hour journey from home)

[beko1987]

Nothing else to buy for the same cost as a train ticket?

[jonathan_dyane]

If it were me in that situation I would be nursing a pint and a scotch....

[gm]

had a quick look on gummers but nothing really suitable. the girl at the station did her best but a second single ticket is the only way I'm getting home - lesson learned the hard way

 

pint will be in order when I'm changing trains in Glasgow

[Supernaut]

Don't forget to do 30 through the next village too, that really annoys them when they can't do 42.7mph everywhere.

I remember overtaking a brand new astra in the 316 on a nice bit of nsl road. I got the honking, the full beams everything. In thenext 30 zone they rocketed up behind me looking utterly apoplectic, then when it went back to nsl I left them for dead.

 

What gives? How very fucking dare I make reasonable progress along a road?

[bub2006]

A vauxhall Zafira 1.8 doing a ton is a horrible place to be, doing 5.5k,steering slightly light and 24mpg showing on the display... Allegedly

 

And to the audi in l2 of the m40 with a clear l1, you sir, are a twat, and I'm glad your missus was bollocking you after I'd sat behind for 5 minutes full beaming you, my high headlights shining right in your mirrors. maybe don't be a cock and pull over rather than do 65 in l2 at 9am.

 

Sadly, all that did make me look like the stereotype Zafira B driver, for which I am slightly ashamed about, but not much. That's twice on a Saturday I've had cause to flash someone out of the way, never happens commuting to work, standard must be higher, or some people only drive on a motorway at the weekend

Thats the strange thing with the avensis. It feels stable at 30 right through to an indicated 115 and still feels like it could keep going. No i dont condone speeding but it was 5am sunday morning,road was empty and i was annoyed.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Overtaking. Isn't it the done thing anymore?

Don't get all flappy at me because I had the wit to take the initiative and overtake all 5 of you doing 35 on the long straight clear stretch of NSL road.

The current 'law' is this;

 

If there is a queue of traffic behind a slow moving vehicle, then the vehicle behind it is allowed to overtake and then all the people behind are allowed to as well but only in turn.

 

If they are all following like ducklings behind their mother and the driver at the rear of the queue decides to safely overtake then this is THE END OF THE WORLD

[Fat_Pirate]

I sometimes get the headlamp flashing thing when I pass stuff on my bike.  I immediately pull over, sit quietly and think about what I've done.

[Guest Hooli]

I sometimes get the headlamp flashing thing when I pass stuff on my bike.  I immediately pull over, sit quietly and think about what I've done.

 

What's that smell?

 

Reminds me of bovine excrement...

[Guest Hooli]

A vauxhall Zafira 1.8 doing a ton is a horrible place to be, doing 5.5k,steering slightly light and 24mpg showing on the display... Allegedly

 

And to the audi in l2 of the m40 with a clear l1, you sir, are a twat, and I'm glad your missus was bollocking you after I'd sat behind for 5 minutes full beaming you, my high headlights shining right in your mirrors. maybe don't be a cock and pull over rather than do 65 in l2 at 9am.

 

Sadly, all that did make me look like the stereotype Zafira B driver, for which I am slightly ashamed about, but not much. That's twice on a Saturday I've had cause to flash someone out of the way, never happens commuting to work, standard must be higher, or some people only drive on a motorway at the weekend

 

I can never be arsed to move out for such retards, I just stay safely in L1 & continue. After all it's only illegal to overtake on the left if you actually move left to do so, staying in your lane means you're in faster moving traffic. There is no legal definition of 'traffic' so I'll argue one car is traffic if it ever comes to that.

[anonymous user]

I sometimes get the headlamp flashing thing when I pass stuff on my bike. I immediately pull over, sit quietly and think about what I've done.

For just about long enough for them to go past and then you can charge off and overtake them again

[Guest Hooli]

For just about long enough for them to go past and then you can charge off and overtake them again

 

6" off the side of their car in no higher gear than 2nd...

[alcyonecorporation]

The Subaru's exhaust is somewhat sharted.

I have no success with local garages - especially when the only bodge-friendly place closed down recently.

My usual gas and swearing proprietor wasn't open, so I thought I'd spend a few hours seeing if anyone fancied making an easy few quid by plugging up the yawning hole with bandages or a bit of weld.

None of them would do it. Not a single fucking one. One place half-arsedly quoted for an entirely new system (not what I asked, I'll have one fabricated when the time is right), another wouldn't even come out and look; a third started putting it on the ramp but was told to take it off by a manager "because we only fit new exhausts, we don't repair old ones."

'But it says "Exhausts, Repairs and Welding" on your sign outside.'

"We only fit new exhausts, we don't repair them."

Another outfit denied doing any welding at all and went very quiet when I pointed out the gas bottles sat in a trolley on the workshop floor.

"Er....the bloke who does welding isn't in today."

'You just said you didn't do any welding.'

"..........."

I literally want a bodged repair to get it through a test - I'd even sign a waiver saying I wouldn't come back and complain about the repair and that I understood it was a bodge to buy me more time while I saved up for a new system. "We don't bodge stuff for MoTs," one place claimed. Yes, but you'll openly fit shit pattern parts and Evergreen tyres while charging the earth, and that's somehow alright? 

The final place looked horrified at what I asked and claimed they were too busy with pre booked appointments even though the workshop was empty. Tell you what, lads,  just say you don't want to do it. Much easier, no? 

Jesus fucking wept. I'll wait until my gas and swearing bloke is back off holiday, then.

MoT is out on the 19th. I'm stoked to have it back regardless.

[somewhatfoolish]

DVLA bastards. This service was great, and they've pulled it out from under enthusiasts' feet like that.

 

https://jec.org.uk/news/2017/dvla-history-information-change

Colossal twats and hypocritical ones given that information has been available forever; in addition it's not their decision whether it's reasonable or not, that's the Information Commissioner's job.

[AlabamaShrimp]

The Subaru's exhaust is somewhat sharted.

I have no success with local garages - especially when the only bodge-friendly place closed down recently.

My usual gas and swearing proprietor wasn't open, so I thought I'd spend a few hours seeing if anyone fancied making an easy few quid by plugging up the yawning hole with bandages or a bit of weld.

None of them would do it. Not a single fucking one. One place half-arsedly quoted for an entirely new system (not what I asked, I'll have one fabricated when the time is right), another wouldn't even come out and look; a third started putting it on the ramp but was told to take it off by a manager "because we only fit new exhausts, we don't repair old ones."

 

'But it says "Exhausts, Repairs and Welding" on your sign outside.'

 

"We only fit new exhausts, we don't repair them."

 

Another outfit denied doing any welding at all and went very quiet when I pointed out the gas bottles sat in a trolley on the workshop floor.

"Er....the bloke who does welding isn't in today."

'You just said you didn't do any welding.'

"..........."

 

I literally want a bodged repair to get it through a test - I'd even sign a waiver saying I wouldn't come back and complain about the repair and that I understood it was a bodge to buy me more time while I saved up for a new system. "We don't bodge stuff for MoTs," one place claimed. Yes, but you'll openly fit shit pattern parts and Evergreen tyres while charging the earth, and that's somehow alright?

 

The final place looked openly horrified at what I asked and claimed they were too busy with pre booked appointments even though the workshop was empty. Tell you what, lads, just say you don't want to do it. Much easier, no?

 

Jesus fucking wept. I'll wait until my gas and swearing bloke is back off holiday, then.

MoT is out on the 19th. I'm stoked to have it back regardless.

I can't remember where you are but I know a bloke that'll do it for about £30 and they guy next door will test it without dicking about

[alcyonecorporation]

I can't remember where you are but I know a bloke that'll do it for about £30 and they guy next door will test it without dicking about

 

Cambs. 

 

Had a bit of a post-misery whinge at a mate of mine nearby and his mate is primed to fizz it up for me before the test. 

 

Tar for the offer, though. 

[AlabamaShrimp]

No worries, bit far to Wakefield just for a test

[chaseracer]

Nice drive out, though.

[alcyonecorporation]

No worries, bit far to Wakefield just for a test

It would piss off the entirety of Lincolnshire and West Yorkshire if I drove it there. 

I have a friendly tester nearby; I just need a garageist with a bit of an imagination. 

 

Nice drive out, though.

 

Er, a deafening one, you mean.

[chaseracer]

PARDON? 

[clayts450]

I'll wait until my gas and swearing bloke is back off holiday, then.

 

 

 

Pray tell me more - I'm imagining a bloke farting and saying 'for fuck's sake' straight after in an attempt to cover up aforementioned botty-burp

[alcyonecorporation]

Pray tell me more - I'm imagining a bloke farting and saying 'for fuck's sake' straight after in an attempt to cover up aforementioned botty-burp

 

Not as fun as that, sadly - just a bloke who always runs out of welding gas whenever he needs to do stuff on my motors. 

"Can't have the Volvo back today, fucking well run out of gas." 

[alcyonecorporation]

PARDON? 

 

HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS? 

[chaseracer]

HOW DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS? 

 

Age and guile, my friend...

[Kiltox]

Overtaking. Isn't it the done thing anymore?

 

Don't get all flappy at me because I had the wit to take the initiative and overtake all 5 of you doing 35 on the long straight clear stretch of NSL road.

Try overtaking in a knackered diesel Laguna

 

Cue flashing of lights and much horn use. Stopped a mile up the road to enquire as to the problem

 

"Bit dangerous overtaking innit?"

 

"You were doing 30 in a 60 and I can see for miles"

 

"You've got a brake light out"

 

"How did that impede my overtaking?"

 

"You've got a brake light out"

 

"....."

 

"You've got a brake light out"

[beko1987]

Try overtaking in a knackered diesel Laguna

 

Cue flashing of lights and much horn use. Stopped a mile up the road to enquire as to the problem

 

"Bit dangerous overtaking innit?"

 

"You were doing 30 in a 60 and I can see for miles"

 

"You've got a brake light out"

 

"How did that impede my overtaking?"

 

"You've got a brake light out"

 

"....."

 

"You've got a brake light out"

I have no problems overtaking in your old knackered diesel laguna! Takes a bit of planning to set the gearbag up but it does the job!

[Lord Sterling]

I get it daily in my job, overtake someone bimbling along at 30 in a 50/60/70 and you get a flash of lights. I just flick them the bird and carry on, I can't be arsed wasting my time with these unthinking arses living in thier own little world.