The grumpy thread

[Father Ted]

Autotrader adverts that read:-

1996 CITROEN XANTIA 1.9 TD VSX 5dr Diesel Estate £500 ono

Sorry, this one is sold. We do have a 1997 Fiesta 3-door in burnt orange (copper metallic) colour-keyed bumpers and mirrors, power steering, 5-speed manual, alloy wheels, electric windows. Sun roof. Ideal first car. Tax and MOT to July. Cheap to buy and to run. Cheap tax and insurance. £550 ono. £550 ONO.

Why do you even suppose if I am looking for something as big as a Xantia estate that I would consider a fucking rust coloured Fiesta you mong?

[Cavcraft]

Because they only have to pay for one advert FT, it's a sneaky way round it I suppose.

[CIH]

autotrader is a waste of time nowadays. you look for sub-£500 and get hundreds of £500-per month brand new Toyotas and things FFS.

[Father Ted]

Was looking for a 110 BHP Xantia, or a 1900 TD that could be tweaked.Not a shitty fiesta.

[RedSparrow]

Comet did come through (see happy thread) although I do still have one set that is refusing to tune, it worked fine when I last used it (about two years ago).

One of these:http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/RCA-COMPONENT-TO-SCART-AV-BLOCK-for-PS2-XBOX360-Wii-PS1_W0QQitemZ290379638946plus one of these:http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/RF-AERIAL-LEAD-FOR-SNES-NINTENDO-BRAND-NEW_W0QQitemZ320499835696Should do the trick.I do some AV stuff in one of my jobs, there is an adapter for everything!

So how will you get sound out of that combo? the RF lead only has one input....

By magic.

[whitevanman]

Comet did come through (see happy thread) although I do still have one set that is refusing to tune, it worked fine when I last used it (about two years ago).

One of these:http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/RCA-COMPONENT-TO-SCART-AV-BLOCK-for-PS2-XBOX360-Wii-PS1_W0QQitemZ290379638946plus one of these:http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/RF-AERIAL-LEAD-FOR-SNES-NINTENDO-BRAND-NEW_W0QQitemZ320499835696Should do the trick.I do some AV stuff in one of my jobs, there is an adapter for everything!

So how will you get sound out of that combo? the RF lead only has one input....

By magic.

what as in REAL magik

[Cavcraft]

Years off being on two wheels and 24 hours back into it some stupid fucking slag in a Corsa nearly had me off.

[pogweasel]

Stating the bleeding obvious, but fuel prices. Put £40 in the van at half five this morning, running on fumes by the time I got home at lunchtime, just put another £30 in and the needles not even to halfway. Grr.

[maxpower]

fekin insurance rip off feckers! 20yrs of accident free, conviction free driving and they give you a quote as if your a fuckin 19yr old boy racer!!

[Polystratus]

fekin insurance rip off feckers! 20yrs of accident free, conviction free driving and they give you a quote as if your a fuckin 19yr old boy racer!!

Once had a list of quotes for a 1.0 Nissan Micra that started from £110 a year to £3000 a year! How the heck they work that one out, no doubt they provide a Rolls Royce or something as the hire car when the insured car is off the road.

[Tayne]

.

[barrett]

fucking fish bone stuck in my throat. I honestly cant think of anything more irritating. hopefully drinking some out of date beer will help.

[Cheggers]

fucking fish bone stuck in my throat. I honestly cant think of anything more irritating. hopefully drinking some out of date beer will help.

You are the Queen Mother AICMFP Seriously, that's a bummer...may need more than some out-of-date beer.

[Cavcraft]

People who have usernames like xxxsexygurlxxx. You just know they're some fucking McDonald's munching spotty fat bint who dreams of owning a Saxo with a bodykit.

[ashmicro]

fucking fish bone stuck in my throat. I honestly cant think of anything more irritating. hopefully drinking some out of date beer will help.

Happened to me when I was a teenager. Seriously, mate, get yerself looked at pronto before any soft tissue envelops it. My Dad took me to A+E and they had it out in a jiffy.

[maxpower]

People who have usernames like xxxsexygurlxxx. You just know they're some fucking McDonald's munching spotty fat bint who dreams of owning a Saxo with a bodykit.

or some fat computer nerd with an identity problem

[barrett]

fucking fish bone stuck in my throat. I honestly cant think of anything more irritating. hopefully drinking some out of date beer will help.

Happened to me when I was a teenager. Seriously, mate, get yerself looked at pronto before any soft tissue envelops it. My Dad took me to A+E and they had it out in a jiffy.

Oh christ dont say things like that.....it's only a tiny one from a (''boneless'') mackerel...feels more like a hair. I did try sicking up, but that didn't work. Also tried gargling scotch but it's a bit too early for that really. I am prone to panic attacks so i'm just gonna try and assume that its going to be fine. Yep, i'm sure everything is okay. Brighton's only hospital is miles away and full of ill people, i've never been to a hospital before and dont plan on going for a bloody fish bone. dont they just disintergrate in your saliva eventually? thats what i'm telling myself anyway. more scotch after 5.more serious grump: DVLA twunts.tried to replace my long-time lost provvy a while ago. there is no space for 'replacement provisional' on the form, either 'replacement license' or 'first provisional', i thought i'd avoid messing it up and sending them the wrong amount by ticking 'first provisional'.......time passed.....got a letter saying i already had a license (duh), did i want to replace it as it was lost? Yep! okay, sent that back off.....time passed.....got my license through the post, hurrah! can book a theory and get on with this autoshite lark once and for all. Of course they owe me £30, the difference between a new and replacement license ( still following? good). decided not to chase it up and see if it turned up in the post....two weeks later, got another letter. ''the cheque you sent us was rejected by the bank (WTF??). please send us the correct amount OF £50 (nope!)or we will put a cap on your license that renders it invalid. if you do not comply we will put a stop marker on your license which will PREVENT ALL FURTHER DRIVING LICENSE APPLICATIONS BEING PROCCESSED''....shit the bed!but then! the plot thickens!a few days later I recieve a check from the DVLA reimbursing me my excess payment of £30! I have no fucking clue whats going on!basically I now have to phone my bank(in bloody india - not had good experience of this before) and find out if my cheque was payed out, then phone the DVLA and try and sort the rest of the mess out.... I should probably add here that i have a real phobia of talking on the phone to people I dont know, it takes me literally hours to build up the courage to do it and I get so nervous I usually fuck-up what i'm supposed to be doing anyway.BUMHATS

[whitevanman]

My stepdaughter...AGAIN, when will she see sense and leave the arsehole she is married to lets hope they lock him up next Monday

[Father Ted]

Car Dealers.I hates em.Righto, bought caravan, said caravan is a iccle bit over the manufacturers towing weight of the car (120PS Zarifa Dizzler) - as a seasoned tower I dont let this bother me till I take the van out for a spirited jaut down the motorway and discover that it does actually struggle to keep a decent turn of speed. Factor in kids bikes, chairs, clothes, couple of full gas cylinders, awning and food and ale then the outfit is going to be asthmatically slow.So, looking for something to replace the Zafira with, the wife has decided that she wants something big and newer for herself and I can keep my Micra (suits me). Been umming an ahhing about cars, dont want another Dizzler with DPF system as we have had a bollock ache and a half with the one we have. So a Pezza - sounds simple?Is it fook.Zafira 2.0 and 2.2 Petrol fall into the "Imperial Shitload" road tax bracket, wife notices C4 Grand Picasso today whilst out in B&Q so as we are only 5 minutes from the Citro dealers I suggest going and having a look... BIG HUGE FOOOKING MISTAKE.Had a butchers at a C4 GP - nice, can fit kids and associated shit in it OK, happy - pop in side to ask about towing weights - cue over an hour of hard fricking sell, them taking my car keys and then "putting them down somewhere" and a sales bod who despite me repeatedly saying that I wanted a 2.0 petrol MANUAL kept trying to get me to buy an automatic (yeah, right fooking flappy paddle gearbox edition...) and didnt actually know that Citroen never produced the 2.0 in a manual format.Grrrrr. Wasted valuable beard growing time there. Still no closer buying a 7 seat tow car. I think its back to the original idea of shelving the Micra and me getting a towcar with 5 seats and the wife keeping the 7 seater for work / family shifting about duties.Sorry, needed a quick rant.Oh she doesnt like anything bigger than the C4 as the others "dont have seats you can put away" (meaning folding flat into the boot floor).

[Guest]

Ted.You know the C4 Pickyourarsehole has quite a lot in common mechanically with the C4, yes?Just wanted to make sure that was at the front of your mind when you consider one. If you think your Zafira was a pain in the arse.........

[Father Ted]

Hmm, The Touran was suggested, til I started looking at second hand prices.I believe the phrase rhymes with "Clucking Bell" Now trailing Autotrader again for either an Omega or 110 HDi Xantia.

[Cavcraft]

Fuck all boot space in an Omega unless you get an estate FT.

[retrogeezer]

My mum has a had a C4 GP for 3 years/30k and has had no problems with it at all. It's the flappy paddle one too.It's an motability car and is up for renewal, I can ask her what it will cost to keep it if you are interested Marty?

[Rusty Pelican]

Grrrrr. Wasted valuable beard growing time there.

Strange that , my beard grows irrispective of what im doing , so bloody fast my Rhubarb cant keep up .

[Father Ted]

Cheers, but I have been advised that towing kills the clutches on those flappy paddle gearboxes, which is why I wanted manual (prev towing experience with automatic also was a bit hopeless, smooooooth take off, great for hill starts - lousy for keeping up speed on the motorway). Nope its deffo back to the drawing board.Cav - luggage space not a major issue, ability to tow a ton and a half without causing major tailbacks is.Hydropneumatics would be nice, but not essential.

[retrogeezer]

no probs...just a thought.She is replacing it with a new Grand Scenic....I hope it's half as good as the GP.

[Cavcraft]

In that case Marty I'd recommend a 2.0 Ecotec version. Pull like a train, very smooth and not a bad place to be at all. Failing that the (earlier) dizzlers had a BMW 2.5 engine and are supposed to be very good.

[dollywobbler]

I've been driving around the south today. Dagenham and then to Southend-on-Sea. Won't be returning any time soon as the level of driving was simply appalling! I was in a lovely old Ford V8 sidevalve and despite this, some bloke in a pick-up tried driving through me even though I had right of way. He got short shrift. But generally, it was bedlam. It was also far too busy. Horrible. I don't think I've ever enjoyed driving less.

[warren t claim]

Fucking asus (anus) motherboard wont give me any sound using windows7. Fuck knows where I will get the drivers from as the manufacturer doesn't seem to think windows7 exists!

[pandamonium]

Thats where I live DW. It is chaos mostly. People using left lanes to turn right etc.