The grumpy thread

[richardmorris]

My vacuum cleaner just exploded. Tidying up as I'm having friends over for lunch tomorrow and motor made a funny noise, smoke came out the back and it went bang and sprayed black soot everywhere. Now the place is dirtier than when I started and smells of dead electrics.

[panhard65]

That sounds very similar to what my dad has to put up with. The step mother is always telling him to come in out of the garden where he hides giving everything a good looking at (he is 74). She spends all day stuck in front of the telly and can't believe he doesn't want to do the same. On Friday I heard her say to him to stop reading the paper as he will wear his eyes out !. I must admit it is never good when he has been reading the daily mail as his right wing, string em all up attitude comes out, but using the excuse of wearing his eyes out was pretty lame

[vulgalour]

If you see someone reading the Daily Mail on purpose, take a lighter to the bottom corner of it.  Don't worry if they catch fire, it's for their own good.

[beko1987]

My vacuum cleaner just exploded. Tidying up as I'm having friends over for lunch tomorrow and motor made a funny noise, smoke came out the back and it went bang and sprayed black soot everywhere. Now the place is dirtier than when I started and smells of dead electrics.

What vacuum cleaner is it

[captain_70s]

I bet there's a load of people on here feeling depressed that they are single, especially at Xmas when every other bugger seems to have a bird etc.

Relationships always seem to be a nice idea in theory, then I look at my mates and realise that the fact I don't have to ask permission to go to the pub is something only afforded to me due to my singledom. I stopped the whole " having to ask permission to do simple things" thing when I moved out of my parent's house and have no urge to start again.

Also couldn't be doing with the bizarre logic that gets applied, like once you're in a relationship you shouldn't find anybody else attractive in any way, and porn is a no-no. Also there is no reason you'd want to spend time with any other person than your significant other, ever. Couldn't do it, I'd snap. They'd say something retarded and I'd batter them to death with a torque wrench and bury them under the shed faster than you could say "that escalated quickly".

 

 

Something that is making me grumpy recently is people taking pride in their stupidity. Literally. They think that being ignorant is a better alternative than being a "nerd" like I apparently am for being able to use words with over three syllables. These are people in their 20s and 30s, I though the "heh, nerds know things, how lame" sort of mentality died after you left fucking secondary school.

I once had to explain the word "hence", but I used "consequence" in my explanation so had to explain what that meant too. Then I was made to feel like the twat for using "fucking stupid words that nobody fucking says".

They spout uneducated opinions and when their staggering levels of wrongness are pointed out to them they say, "well I don't have time to waste researching this shit because, unlike you, I have a life". Well then, you aren't entitled to your shitty opinion then, you cunt. Torque wrench, shovel, shed. Aaaaaargh!

 

We all have shit that we don't know about. I know fuck all about sports, but I don't tell people they are twats because they know how many touch downs you need to win a game of basegolf or whatever.

 

Also it's the works night out tonight. I'm working tomorrow. Fuck my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife...

[xtriple]

When people are being deliberately thick, just pinch them in the cunt and walk away! That goes for both sexes.... I cannot be doing with anyone taking pride in a lack of knowledge, it is just wrong.

 

Yes, a lot of people are thick but they don't celebrate the fact!

 

The simple act of wearing a football shirt should be enough justification for shooting the wearer in the face with a sawn off!

 

Apologies if I have offended anyone on here... nah, no one on here would wear a football shirt unless it was to keep decent clobber clean while working on the car! Or, using it to clean the car....

[dave21478]

I suppose its probably wrong to wish death upon the entire human race just because some cunt stole my empty Bag For Life shopping bags from my trolley while I had my back turned for a few minutes....

 

Who can even be bothered to steal second hand shopping bags? 

 

I considered staking out the exit to see if I could spot the thief but realised that getting into a fist fight over carrier bags might not be acceptable behaviour.

 

More and more I wonder if my entire life so far is the setup in some kind of hugely elaborate Beadles About prank or some kind of Truman Show thing.

[richardmorris]

What vacuum cleaner is it

It was an Electrolux Mondo Plus. About 10 -15 yrs old so not a collector's item and cheap to start with - 1400motor though.

[beko1987]

Not a collectors item? I know mondo lovers... Fat chance of getting a motor for one though nowadays sadly ! I know someone flogging a nice miele cylinder for £30 plus post if it helps? If you've got face ache I can give you his name

[richardmorris]

Thanks, but i think I'll get a new one- looking at a vax cyclone thingy.

My sister has a Miele something or other but I prefer my parent's vax. Each had a dyson before and both were useless and broke. John Lewis are doing a decent looking one for £99 with a six year warranty.

 

If you want the mondo+ I won't put it in the skip yet!

[Lacquer Peel]

Current Vax stuff is horrible - brittle plastics, noisy, inefficient and heavy.

[gordonbennet]

I suppose its probably wrong to wish death upon the entire human race just because some cunt stole my empty Bag For Life shopping bags from my trolley while I had my back turned for a few minutes....

 

Who can even be bothered to steal second hand shopping bags? 

 

I considered staking out the exit to see if I could spot the thief but realised that getting into a fist fight over carrier bags might not be acceptable behaviour.

 

More and more I wonder if my entire life so far is the setup in some kind of hugely elaborate Beadles About prank or some kind of Truman Show thing.

You have to wonder if the human race is worth saving sometimes.

 

The charity collection box for McMillan's was emptied by some low life where i worked a few years ago.

There is no level some mouth breathers won't stoop to.

[richardmorris]

Current Vax stuff is horrible - brittle plastics, noisy, inefficient and heavy.

The one I've just ordered is called the silence, is 5.5kg and 70db and energy rated a.

http://www.johnlewis.com/vax-c86-aw-be-air-silence-cylinder-vacuum-cleaner/p1563291

[dugong]

Relationships always seem to be a nice idea in theory, then I look at my mates and realise that the fact I don't have to ask permission to go to the pub is something only afforded to me due to my singledom. I stopped the whole " having to ask permission to do simple things" thing when I moved out of my parent's house and have no urge to start again.

Also couldn't be doing with the bizarre logic that gets applied, like once you're in a relationship you shouldn't find anybody else attractive in any way, and porn is a no-no. Also there is no reason you'd want to spend time with any other person than your significant other, ever. Couldn't do it, I'd snap. They'd say something retarded and I'd batter them to death with a torque wrench and bury them under the shed faster than you could say "that escalated quickly".

 

 

Something that is making me grumpy recently is people taking pride in their stupidity. Literally. They think that being ignorant is a better alternative than being a "nerd" like I apparently am for being able to use words with over three syllables. These are people in their 20s and 30s, I though the "heh, nerds know things, how lame" sort of mentality died after you left fucking secondary school.

I once had to explain the word "hence", but I used "consequence" in my explanation so had to explain what that meant too. Then I was made to feel like the twat for using "fucking stupid words that nobody fucking says".

They spout uneducated opinions and when their staggering levels of wrongness are pointed out to them they say, "well I don't have time to waste researching this shit because, unlike you, I have a life". Well then, you aren't entitled to your shitty opinion then, you cunt. Torque wrench, shovel, shed. Aaaaaargh!

 

We all have shit that we don't know about. I know fuck all about sports, but I don't tell people they are twats because they know how many touch downs you need to win a game of basegolf or whatever.

 

Also it's the works night out tonight. I'm working tomorrow. Fuck my liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife...

"Well, I don't have time to come to your coke and rape gathering; unlike you lot, I have a life."

[vulgalour]

Something that is making me grumpy recently is people taking pride in their stupidity... I once had to explain the word "hence", but I used "consequence" in my explanation so had to explain what that meant too. Then I was made to feel like the twat for using "fucking stupid words that nobody fucking says".

They spout uneducated opinions and when their staggering levels of wrongness are pointed out to them... cunt. Torque wrench, shovel, shed. Aaaaaargh!

 

We all have shit that we don't know about. I know fuck all about sports, but I don't tell people they are twats because they know how many touch downs you need to win a game of basegolf or whatever.

As a consequence of reading this entry I find you to be a thoroughly acceptable human being. Have a virtual beverage of choice on me. File all grunting mongs under Daily Mail Readers On Fire.

[RoadworkUK]

I just looked on the web to find out the best time for viewing Geminids in the night sky. Helpfully, Metro's website suggests:

 

"The best time to view the Geminids is between sunset, local time and before sunrise."

 

So, when it's dark, then?

 

Pillocks.

[purplebargeken]

A scum sucking, maggot brained fuckwit stole the money that we had raised doing the McMillan coffee morning thing a few years ago. This was done on the very day that my patient died in a hospice whilst I was with him and his family. We strongly suspect that said fuckwit was a colleague although I could not prove it was him I really did want to kill him. Still would. 

[purplebargeken]

Having a bit of a down day today. Thinking of my old dad, now deceased for 15 year sadly.

 

He was a Kingsman (former RSM). All I have is a piccie of him in uniform.

 

I'd love to know more re: service records and so on but not sure how to go about getting them. He served in Kenya, Korea and Hong Kong. 

[beko1987]

Thanks, but i think I'll get a new one- looking at a vax cyclone thingy.

My sister has a Miele something or other but I prefer my parent's vax. Each had a dyson before and both were useless and broke. John Lewis are doing a decent looking one for £99 with a six year warranty.

 

If you want the mondo+ I won't put it in the skip yet!

Nah it's OK, got plenty of burnt out cleaners in the shed for now to ignore, thanks anyway!

 

Good luck with the vax... Let me know when that breaks bodily rather than motorley, keep the filters clean every month

[andy18s]

Having a bit of a down day today. Thinking of my old dad, now deceased for 15 year sadly.

 

He was a Kingsman (former RSM). All I have is a piccie of him in uniform.

 

I'd love to know more re: service records and so on but not sure how to go about getting them. He served in Kenya, Korea and Hong Kong.

My uncle was RSM with the KSLI and he died this time 5 yrs ago

Signed up with the Junior Leaders at 16 and was in till he retired at 45

Always up for a laugh, and happy to help anyone.....

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

[richardmorris]

Well if it breaks within six years I'll claim on the warranty! Will definitely moan if it does though cleaning the filters evry month would likely be every time it's used!

[chaseracer]

Having a bit of a down day today. Thinking of my old dad, now deceased for 15 year sadly.

 

He was a Kingsman (former RSM). All I have is a piccie of him in uniform.

 

I'd love to know more re: service records and so on but not sure how to go about getting them. He served in Kenya, Korea and Hong Kong. 

 

Start with his regiment; they're often really helpful with things like this.  Certainly were (RAF squadron, but the principle applies) when my mum was researching her dad, who died when she was four.

 

Also, try the Public Records Office at Kew.

[vulgalour]

Basegolf.  It's like rounders but instead of a bat you use a golf club.  Instead of a round ball, you use an American Handegg Football and you have to scream between bases while flailing your arms in the air.  There's an offside rule, nobody knows what that is, but there is one.  Two tries are scored for every Birdie you get in the Goal and at half time everyone gets together to enjoy cream tea, strawberries and strong black coffee.  The game lasts 45 minutes, until a serious injury is sustained, or everyone is bored, whichever comes first.  Amateur dramatics on pitch are encouraged but mostly ignored and uniforms consist of Morris Dancers leg-bells, a tee-shirt two sizes too large and a boler hat.

 

Sky is banned from televising this game.

[Ghosty]

[richardmorris]

Don't think it'll catch on at the local wentworth- they've upped the fees to £150k

[vulgalour]

Basegolf is a real* game that exists*.  Just ask that Triumph hoarder in Scotland, he knows all about it.  He might have invented it for all I know.

[Pillock]

We've got a power cut. At 6.30pm they reckoned it would be back on at 7.30.

 

At 7.20 they changed the message to say "estimated restoration of power by midnight". Feels like that is their way of saying "fuck knows what's wrong then, we tried turning it off and on again".

 

Lit a fire and played card games. Chippy up the road still has power. Got a book for later. Actually now I type that I wonder if I'm in the wrong thread.

[richardmorris]

Doesn't appear in Google apart from Americans at menwith hill.

Have you been sampling the Christmas cake rum?

[chaseracer]

Actually now I type that I wonder if I'm in the wrong thread.

 

Until the batteries on your phone/tablet/laptop/i-thingy run out... 

[Richard]

Basegolf is a real* game that exists*.  Just ask that Triumph hoarder in Scotland, he knows all about it.  He might have invented it for all I know.

 

 

It sounds suspiciously similar to Calvinball.