The grumpy thread

[scaryoldcortina]

^ actually not too bad. Much like a mk1/2 fiesta tbh.

[cobblers]

Yes it's a complete bastard thanks to the omission of a gearbox oil drain plug meaning that once you've spent fucking ages wragging the circlipped driveshafts out, loads of gearbox oil will pour out all over the place. It'll eventually stop, but then it'll pour all over the place again whenever you move the gearbox again.

[Cheggers]

For all your Feds / MID issues, why not explain to the Coppers that you're not driving a car, but travelling in a non commercial fashion, tell them you don't consent to their demands and that you're feeling distressed and Frank Spencer harassment, swear at them a bit, produce a scale of charges you shall invoice them for, don a tin foil hat, quote the forth amendment. Rip off the number plates, fuck them away and point at your motor whilst shouting repeatedly about it not being a car but a personal conveyance. Should this fail to result in the Bobbies sending you on your way with their warmest regards then there's a legal chap on here who I'm sure will be delighted to help you out of whatever the consequences.

Claim you are a Freeman of the Land, the rozzers love dealing with the tin foil hat brigade

[dave21478]

For all your Feds / MID issues, why not explain to the Coppers that you're not driving a car, but travelling in a non commercial fashion, tell them you don't consent to their demands and that you're feeling distressed and Frank Spencer harassment, swear at them a bit, produce a scale of charges you shall invoice them for, don a tin foil hat, quote the forth amendment. Rip off the number plates, fuck them away and point at your motor whilst shouting repeatedly about it not being a car but a personal conveyance. Should this fail to result in the Bobbies sending you on your way with their warmest regards then there's a legal chap on here who I'm sure will be delighted to help you out of whatever the consequences.

 

There are loads of Freeman on the Land vids on youtube. The best ones end with the twat being thrown to the floor and tazed.

[eddyramrod]

I think Bub must have rubbed up against me or something.

 

British Gas chappie came today to look at the pipes in the loft, and pronounced them fine, which therefore means calling in a roofer.  Fuck.

The new laptop I bought last year has been back and forth to the computer shop in town for assorted repair work.  It's been nothing but hassle and expense from the beginning.  Fuck.

Tumble drier has just died amid a smell of burning.  Fuck.

Telly in the lounge (new in 2010) decided a few months ago not to accept a digital signal, so as an emergency measure we bought a used set-top box.  Now that's decided it doesn't want to play.  Fuck.

 

These last two are easily-enough solved by a few clicks on AO.  However that does mean 300 quid on my credit card, which I really didn't want to spend just before Christmas, when I haven't bought MrsR's prezzy yet but have just bought myself a car.  Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck.

[UltraWomble]

I haven't bought MrsR's prezzy yet but have just bought myself a car.  Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck.

Give her the Rover.

Jobbed

[vulgalour]

Or pop to the bakery and grab a couple of pies, then WHSmith for some ribbon and bows.  Hey presto, a present she'll never forget (or forgive you for).

[eddyramrod]

WH Smith?  Are you made of money, man?  Surely you meant to say, re-use the ribbons that came with the gift-wrapped smellies last year, that I always keep "just in case..."

[vulgalour]

That is what I meant, yes.  Stupid me thinking you were TripleX before he bought a Bentley!

[Lord Sterling]

Bah!

 

Mother_Sterling and Mother_in_law_Sterling have decided to festoon thier ideas upon me. Now there is offers of money and solutions to this problem. But Mother_Sterling's solution of Shengen Visa seems long winded. Looks like I'm gonna have to take the first steps and get this sorted, it isn't going to be fast, that's for sure. Myself and Lady_Sterling just feel tired of this bastard to-ing and fro-ing because: Bureaucracy

 

Thankfully, the other idea we had ain't gonna happen.

[bub2006]

I think Bub must have rubbed up against me or something.

 

British Gas chappie came today to look at the pipes in the loft, and pronounced them fine, which therefore means calling in a roofer. Fuck.

The new laptop I bought last year has been back and forth to the computer shop in town for assorted repair work. It's been nothing but hassle and expense from the beginning. Fuck.

Tumble drier has just died amid a smell of burning. Fuck.

Telly in the lounge (new in 2010) decided a few months ago not to accept a digital signal, so as an emergency measure we bought a used set-top box. Now that's decided it doesn't want to play. Fuck.

 

These last two are easily-enough solved by a few clicks on AO. However that does mean 300 quid on my credit card, which I really didn't want to spend just before Christmas, when I haven't bought MrsR's prezzy yet but have just bought myself a car. Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck.

Wasn't my fault Mr!

[DeeJay]

 

Telly in the lounge (new in 2010) decided a few months ago not to accept a digital signal, so as an emergency measure we bought a used set-top box.  Now that's decided it doesn't want to play.  Fuck.

 

 

Buy her a telly.

[eddyramrod]

She's buying me the telly; I'm buying her the tumble drier.  Funny how they're both ending up on my card though, lol!

[DeeJay]

That's alright, after an argument you watch the TV and she can watch the clothes dry.

[Station]

Your policy covers you whatever the case if you're driving within the terms of your policy. But why on earth, if you've been stopped in it a few times, didn't you just put it on the database? It doesn't cost you anything and it's two minutes work online. You know you're likely to get a pull. I'm sure you need to register stuff you're keeping for more than a set period (14 days?) on MID.

 

As is so often the case, when one hears the full story, the viewpoint changes.

 

You could, and should, have prevented it from happening.

 

Car was on the database, this is unrelated to the one that happened a couple of days ago. 

 

[garbaldy]

So the car is on the mid then?

[strangeangel]

the fookin' dyson seems to be working for now,

 

That's more than my DC04 ever did, feckin' badly made over complicated triumph of marketing over substance.

 

I finally binned mine a couple of years back and bought a Henry. Never had a minute's bother from that

[BavarianRetro]

If it was on the database, why did they take it off you?

 

I'm confused.

[dugong]

If it was on the database, why did they take it off you?

 

I'm confused.

 

Because it hadn't updated, and the police couldn't ring the insurers to confirm (they weren't open over the weekend). The 5-0 wouldn't let Station get his paperwork to show a policy was in place, either. 

[garbaldy]

So who's at fault then?

[mercedade]

Ball balls balls.

 

I've had an operation on my foot which has laid me up for two weeks, at least.

 

In what would otherwise be a ragingly hilarious* scene from Two Pints of Lager..., both the 820 Vitesse and the boring C-Max decided to shit themselves on the exact same day. This being the same day that my 11 month old son springs a mighty temperature and virus. My other half is using a lot of taxis whilst I sit on the sofa, utterly useless for anything more than 10 minutes on my feet foot a day.

 

The Rover (which the other half was going to pick me up from hospital in) seems to have dissolved the wiring to the starter, discovered after a few days of head scratching and assuming it was the immobiliser. It is now moving again and, when my foot is recovered, I'll be out to effect a more meaningful repair than the current 'wiggle some wires if it plays up' job.

 

The C-Max, however, is probably dead. The slave cylinder seems to have surrendered, according to the total lack of pedal and big puddle of hydraulic fluid under the car. Slave and release bearing are one unit on the C-Max, which means it's a box-out new-clutch (£180 parts alone) job, completely impossible for me to do outside, on the road, without even access to a driveway, let alone a ramp.

 

I can't see this being worth actually paying a man to fix, especially seeing as it's a 128k mile 1.8 Duratec in dire need of a timing chain.

 

One small, tiny, candle-like flicker of hope might be that I could potentially get it recovered to the other end of the country to a garage who might be prepared to do me a favour on labour pricing (or even let me use a ramp myself). This is remote, but a possibility nevertheless.

 

Were I to go for this option, could it be worth sourcing a known good engine and box together and getting the lot done at once, rather than go to faff of getting the box out and back and then find the timing chain surrenders 17 miles later?

 

Does a 'known-good' Duratec even exist?

[captain_70s]

Had to drive from my house in Moray to Glasgow while swinging by Aberdeen to pick people up to go to a house warming party on Saturday. Got to Aberdeen at 11:30am as arranged to find my mate's fiancée had decided she also needed to go to Glasgow to catch a train at Central and promptly took three fucking hours to get ready.

 

We eventually left Aberdeen and about 15 miles down the road my exhaust snapped in half. So we drove all the way to Glasgow with my car droning away at 70mph, I don't know how people can live with big bore exhausts. It sounds great around town (like a Type R!) but on the open road it's bloody grating...

I also looked at the service manual and realised it was due a timing belt 8,000 miles ago, grand.

 

Oh, and the train was cancelled due to the weather, naturally.

[diesel=ambrosia]

Ended up behind a complete numpty yesterday. Was some sort of crossover will large box trailer attached following a massive horse box type vehicle both in the same brown/beige livery as some sort of support vehicle. The trailer door started to creep up and up and various thankfully light xmas decs started to fall out onto the national speed A road. I saw  some much heavier looking gear in there so attempted to inform them.

I did this with beeping, light flashing and (not rude) hand gesturing this went on for some time me getting more intense with my horn/flashing. I was completely ignored and they clearly thought I was just pissed off about the 40 mph they were doing. In the end I hoped they would just pull over for an exchange of heated language/fisticuffs allowing me to explain the situation. In the end I saw the door creeping dangerously high and pulled off, leaving them to there fate.

In hindsight I should of rang the bobbys, reported them and left it to the professionals.

Really pissed me off they was the just merrily trundled along shedding there load on the carriageway thinking I was just another disgruntled A'hole in a hurry.         

[quicksilver]

Noel fucking Gallagher. I don't like him at the best of times but I've just heard him murdering "Merry Christmas Everyone". I like the original but his version is so whiny, droning and depressing it's just awful. Noddy Holder would be spinning in his grave if he was dead.

[Richard]

I can't imagine Shaky would be too pleased either.

[The Moog]

Ball balls balls.

 

I've had an operation on my foot which has laid me up for two weeks, at least.

 

In what would otherwise be a ragingly hilarious* scene from Two Pints of Lager..., both the 820 Vitesse and the boring C-Max decided to shit themselves on the exact same day. This being the same day that my 11 month old son springs a mighty temperature and virus. My other half is using a lot of taxis whilst I sit on the sofa, utterly useless for anything more than 10 minutes on my feet foot a day.

 

The Rover (which the other half was going to pick me up from hospital in) seems to have dissolved the wiring to the starter, discovered after a few days of head scratching and assuming it was the immobiliser. It is now moving again and, when my foot is recovered, I'll be out to effect a more meaningful repair than the current 'wiggle some wires if it plays up' job.

 

The C-Max, however, is probably dead. The slave cylinder seems to have surrendered, according to the total lack of pedal and big puddle of hydraulic fluid under the car. Slave and release bearing are one unit on the C-Max, which means it's a box-out new-clutch (£180 parts alone) job, completely impossible for me to do outside, on the road, without even access to a driveway, let alone a ramp.

 

I can't see this being worth actually paying a man to fix, especially seeing as it's a 128k mile 1.8 Duratec in dire need of a timing chain.

 

One small, tiny, candle-like flicker of hope might be that I could potentially get it recovered to the other end of the country to a garage who might be prepared to do me a favour on labour pricing (or even let me use a ramp myself). This is remote, but a possibility nevertheless.

 

Were I to go for this option, could it be worth sourcing a known good engine and box together and getting the lot done at once, rather than go to faff of getting the box out and back and then find the timing chain surrenders 17 miles later?

 

Does a 'known-good' Duratec even exist?

 

I have a flat concrete driveway in Accrington you can use.  Also can help tea and extra pair of hands (no ramp though).. if that helps in anyway 

[Station]

Thanks Jon for explaining, I think I'll leave it for now.

[mercedade]

I have a flat concrete driveway in Accrington you can use.  Also can help tea and extra pair of hands (no ramp though).. if that helps in anyway 

 

Moog, that's an extremely kind offer. I couldn't possibly take you up on it, mainly because I couldn't guarantee that once I started the job I'd manage to finish it, but I sincerely appreciate the gesture - especially to a virtual noob and a total stranger.

[The Moog]

I have the space if it takes a few weeks, we have loads of parking out the front. We are the end of a private road. Also other option is that I am away from 19th December for 10 days so even less hassle. Option is there

[taxi paul]

Phoned main dealer at 9.30 this morning to authorise repair on my modern Chevrolet. I asked could they ring me back to confirm whether the part will take two days or two weeks , as previously advised by fitter. Get a phone call back at 4.30 from the service manager to ask what they are doing with the car ,ordering part or what? This is only the tenth day of them having it. I am hoping someone drops a skip on it.