The grumpy thread

[jakebullet]

While I appreciate the principle of this to stop people sniping loads of items and not paying for them, it lacks common sense. It doesn't take a genius to work out what I was doing, buying 4 items from the same seller in a very short period (when I wasn't even online and able to pay) and paying for them all in one go, which I'm sure is something ebay encourage.

 

Wrong wrong, wrongity wrong. Evilbay want you to pay for each one separately so their mates poopal can charge the seller 80p + 3.2% instead or 20p + 3.2%. 60p x a few million transactions = shitload more cash for them.

[castros_bro]

My microwave has ceased waving micros or whatever it does to heat food. It now merely rotates it (in an uneven jerky manner), my 2 min microwave noodles took 8 mins to "cook" and they are more "lightly warmed" than anything.

 

If you're going to bin it, the microwave oven not the noodles, then UNPLUG IT and take it to bits, remove the magnetron and take that to bits, it has a really powerful magnet in it which has a multitude* of uses like..... if you know where there are some Beatles cassettes they will always benefit from a stroke with a powerful magnet.

[MrDuke]

But before you take it to bits, do the grape plasma thing.

 

Also, I think the best possible use for a magnetron unit is to sit on a prominent shelf, where you can gaze at it and smugly remind yourself that you own an actual MAGNETRON, bitches.

[quicksilver]

Its an automated system though... there isn't someone sat there deliberately blocking your bids

So their "common sense" (i.e. their business decision which they've translated into their software) lets you snipe 3 items, then blocks your fourth purchase...

I'm well aware of that, my point is that the algorithm lacks intelligence. Is 5 minutes a reasonable timeframe in which to be expected to make payment before you're allowed to buy anything else? By all means block bids if there are unpaid items from several hours ago but not when they were only bought in the last few minutes and you haven't been given a reasonable time to pay for them. It's like Tesco saying "you have 5 items in your trolley, you must pay for them before we'll let you buy anything else". The joke's on them anyway as the seller has agreed to sell it to me outside ebay.

 

Eddie has it right about sniping - the aim of the game is to avoid showing your hand until it's hopefully too late for anyone else to react so you avoid bidding wars and shilling.

[HH-R]

I think they hold the phones like that so we can hear both sides of the conversation? And so that they can squabble between themselves.

 

I do like the Apprentice for a laugh though, got to wonder with some of them if Big Claude has to pop round in the morning and tie their shoelaces.

[Lacquer Peel]

They're given a warehouse of unsold Amstrad Emailer Plus phones in dust-covered boxes and have to sell them at the car boot sale.

 

Weirdly the Emailer-era Amstrad website is still live, not updated since 2008.

 

http://www.amstrad.com/products/emailers/e3.html

 

I think the emailer phone was an okay idea, but Alan Sugar got greedy.

 

With even low usage, it would put £150 per month on your quarterly phone bill.

 

His obsession with the emailer put Amstrad under as far as I can work out.

[scaryoldcortina]

Hospital parking can FRO.

 

Took Mrs S to Durham this afternoon for a routine checkup appointment, spent 45 mins queuing for the carpark, were in the hospital for around 20 minutes, had to pay for two hours parking because of new minimum time.

 

 

Grr. On the upside, the time spent queuing matched the delay time in the clinic.

[J-Rod]

I don't understand the point of The Apprentice, unless it's to laugh at silly 'business' types... 

 

I've been doing 'business' all frickin' day. Not a suit in sight. I'm sure many of us are in the same boat. 

[HH-R]

One of my wipers does an EEERRRRRRR noise on every sweep and it's pissed down for weeks, of course the second I get out of the car I forget all about it.

 

Once I do remember though, it's going to get snapped into as many tiny pieces as it can be. Fuggin' thing.

 

Had three blind knackers pull right out in front of me on the way home, the big silver thing with headlights on must just be invisible.

[cobblers]

Nobody seems to know how to use lights lately. I drive to and from work when it's more or less dark (6:45AM, 4:30PM) and there's tonnes of people driving with no lights on at all. Then there's about 10% of the cars that have one headlight out, and another 10% with one of the bulbs fitted incorrectly so they dazzle you to bollocks. Many of the remaining few choose to run with their sidelights and foglights on for no discernible reason other than they forgot how to use headlights over summer so just spastically flail their hands at switches on the dashboard until they see some kind of light emitted from the front of the car

 

 

Also I tried logging on to the bank today on my phone and it told me to GTFO because I put the password in wrong a load of times (I didn't) anyway now I'm on the phone to HSBC and the bloke is treating me like an idiot because I don't know the answer to "What is your most memorable historic character?", a question I can absolutely without any doubt be 100% sure I have never even been asked, let alone fucking answered. I wouldn't even have an answer for it. The only bloke I know from history is Fred Dibnah (and that wasn't the answer)

[dave21478]

Cat number one has been missing for a week.

A couple of days used to be a regular thing, but not his long especially as the weather is getting cold.

[beko1987]

Almost certainly down to the boneheaded rule of mandatory instrument lighting on all cars past a certain year (which I can't remember), which has the unintended consequence of people not getting the nudge effect of being unable to see the speedometer.

My ZX has the instruments permantly lit with the key in. I know to put my lights on thought because I R Not an idiot, and when I can't see infront of me...

 

It's the Meriva that confuses me (still never forget) but the ZX has a sidelight on display and a headlight on display on the dash. Meriva lights the instruments up with sides or mains on, so I think the lights are off, go to turn them on and realise they are on...

[fred]

Hospital parking can FRO.

 

Took Mrs S to Durham this afternoon for a routine checkup appointment, spent 45 mins queuing for the carpark, were in the hospital for around 20 minutes, had to pay for two hours parking because of new minimum time.

 

 

Grr. On the upside, the time spent queuing matched the delay time in the clinic.

Sometimes I get parking space - ''righteousness'',

 

I have to get there early for infusions - so the car park is pretty empty. So I park in a nice prime corner spot. 

And when Im leaving, will sit and Pretend to move, then stop if a Beemer indicates to take over my ''Glory spot'' and I wave my finger at him, only CHOD is allowed my parking spot

.

Yes sad and lonely life I lead

[scaryoldcortina]

It's a barrier entry/exit carpark which only lets a car in if there is a space available, so you can't do that. I would if you could though.

 

It does mean that if you are unlucky enough to have an appointment that coincides with visiting time there is a line of cars from the barrier back round the carpark, down the access road, around a roundabout and up to the main road into durham.

 

The appointment was trivial too. Could have been done over the phone, no bloods or physical checks just "How are you doing? Fine, yeah, it's working. Oh good. See you in 4 months."

 

Best bit was when the radiator on the scorpio started to leak in the bloody car park queue though. I really, really needed that.

[Lacquer Peel]

You could drive around the barrier at Raigmore hospital in a Subaru Justy as I found out, I hurt my eye and had literally no money. Glad they are toll free now, it's a tax on the sick.

[D Spares & Tyres]

You can do the same at Russells Hall in Dudley in a Peugeot 205

 

High curbs in Stafford hospital but Xantias can get over them slowly with the suspension on high ☺

[HH-R]

Nobody seems to know how to use lights lately. I drive to and from work when it's more or less dark (6:45AM, 4:30PM) and there's tonnes of people driving with no lights on at all. Then there's about 10% of the cars that have one headlight out, and another 10% with one of the bulbs fitted incorrectly so they dazzle you to bollocks. Many of the remaining few choose to run with their sidelights and foglights on for no discernible reason other than they forgot how to use headlights over summer so just spastically flail their hands at switches on the dashboard until they see some kind of light emitted from the front of the car

Yep, I hate driving at this time of year, especially at rush hour. Prats who sit on the wrong side of the road with their DRLs and dipped beams blazing whilst they chat/fiddle with their phone/pick someone up should have their cars crushed too.

[I_am_Diesel]

When I got promotion earlier this year I was awarded a 10% pay rise. I now get 45% more hassle, the bastards saw me coming.

[Pillock]

 

Today, I remembered I'd had an email from eBay saying that my parcel was waiting for collection. Which made me remember I'd bought a bluetooth OBD2 dongle and had it delivered to Argos. I actually overspent slightly, it was £9.99 which seems to be at least twice the price of the others, but it's the only one I found that does auto-off after 30 minutes so I can leave it plugged in.

 

So I picked it up, plugged it in to the car in the carpark, downloaded Torque and then watched all the pretty dials all the way home. Everyone knows a diesel Astra NEEDS a boost gauge, a G-Force meter and all that shiz.

Even better, I reckon it'll do the logging of where I go and what I do using apps like Dash, and if not then I can still use my existing app (Triplog) to grab my daily mileage from the dongle to keep it accurate, as it constantly rounds up so ends up 5-10 miles out after a week.

 

Basically, I put more technology in my car and it works. 

 

Bah. My fancy-pants dongle with it's auto-off doesn't auto on again, and even when you press the button on the front of it the bluetooth doesn't reactivate, you have to plug it and plug it back in. Which removes any advantage of this one over a £3.50 one.

Added to that, there's a 50% chance when you unplug and replug it and drive off, it sends the car nuts - today I had "SERVICE ESP" and "SERVICE POWER STEERING" come up, and then the power steering went all weird which was fun halfway around a corner.

I've sent the ebay seller a message suggesting it's faulty, I notice they've gone up to £99.99 so they must be sold out.

[HH-R]

I got a cheapo one with the view of doing the same thing (mostly because there's just an it's cold/it's fucked warning light instead of a temp gauge) but the OBD cover doesn't fit back on with it plugged in.

 

If you leave the ignition off with it plugged in, various motors start whirring so don't really like leaving it in because of that either! It works well though, I thought the temp cold warning light went out very quickly but it does actually go out at 84 degrees. Unless the OBD temp is lying too!

[Pillock]

OBD will be reading directly off the sensor so should be OK. I was measuring intake temp and coolant temp with mine and they seemed right - the intake was 16 degrees when it was 13 degrees outside, and the coolant settled at 87 degrees. Boost works, voltage does some weird things but it could be some sort of Vauxhall take on Smart Charge - it seemed to sit at 12.2V for ages which lit up the gauge red, then popped up to 14.4V quite randomly a few miles later.

 

There's an app called Dash which scores your driving based on MPG, acceleration and stuff. Except the MPG figure is a mile off, it was hovering around 23mpg on a diesel Astra where the built in computer is reading a steady 55 on a flat bit of motorway. God knows how it calculates it, MPG isn't an output of the OBD connector. And then it shouted at me for speeding so I binned the app.

 

But still, fuck having it mess around with the steering weight halfway around a corner. If the seller won't have it back as faulty, I'll just keep it as a fault code reader and swallow the fact it's three times the price of all the others based on a feature that doesn't bloody work.

[cobblers]

It must be doing some serious fuckery to make the steering go to bollocks, CAN is designed to be pretty fault tolerant so if it's messing up the network to that extent when it's power cycled then some mega corners have been cut, which you sort of expect really I suppose.

"It makes my steering not work" is a good a reason as any to return it as faulty IMO so the seller can hardly argue really.

[captain_70s]

I've deactivated my Facebook account and blocked a shit ton of sites in my browser in an attempt to be a better, more productive person. Autoshite is not on the block list, consider yourself privileged shit lords...

 

I have found that as a largely miserable person having to endure "normal" people really grates with me, online in particular. Add to that the fact I'm generally known as an abject failure with a lack of talent, horrible taste in everything, who is a disgrace both as a person and a "car enthusiast" and is blessed with natural incompetence * and internet communication simply becomes a recipe for disaster.

 

I'm also compulsive, despite hating this online conflict stuff I frequent these sites constantly, at the expense of things I'd be better off doing. Things I'd rather be doing. It's unhealthy and is causing issues in my life that I'd rather not have. Since I just read something, instantly lost my temper, started a fight with a hard wood door and yelled obscenities at the top of my lungs for a quite some time I've decided to make some effort to tidy up my life somewhat before I do myself more damage than bruising or my neighbours have the police come around to make sure I haven't murdered a hooker or something.

 

Well, time to clean my house I guess...

 

*May be true or may be my own opinions projected on to others, I've not worked it out.

[Craig the Princess]

 

Add to that the fact I'm generally known as an abject failure with a lack of talent, horrible taste in everything, who is a disgrace both as a person and a "car enthusiast" and is blessed with natural incompetence * and internet communication simply becomes a recipe for disaster.

 

That's me, where do I join the club!

[Pillock]

It must be doing some serious fuckery to make the steering go to bollocks, CAN is designed to be pretty fault tolerant so if it's messing up the network to that extent when it's power cycled then some mega corners have been cut, which you sort of expect really I suppose.

"It makes my steering not work" is a good a reason as any to return it as faulty IMO so the seller can hardly argue really.

It didn't stop the steering working but it did suddenly feel notchy, like the PAS was cutting in and out.

Except I've got hydraulic PAS, not powered by electrickery bit I guess it'll have some sort of overall control. My Focus had good old fashioned fluid working the steering but I could set it to different levels of assistance.

 

Or perhaps it was my bumhole clenching that made the notchy feeling as all the important messages flashed up on the display and the cluster went all christmas-tree on me whilst navigating a roundabout. The steering one goes away when you pull the dongle out, the ESP light stays on even after you clear the message until you turn the engine off.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Cat number one has been missing for a week.

A couple of days used to be a regular thing, but not his long especially as the weather is getting cold.

cats can be funny fuckers- mrs had one that disapeared then just strolled back in 12 months laters as if nothing had been occuring

[Angrydicky]

Understand where you're coming from Anthony, social media is shit at the best of times but make sure you keep in touch. It must get fucking lonely living where you do, in particular.

 

Hirst is right, if being a success is considered mortgaged to the hilt with a boring wife, 2.5 kids, a Barrett box and an X5 on the drive, do you really want to be like that? I like you, you're very unique and generally don't give a shit what others think about your dress sense or cars for example, and that's great. You're not a failure for not being a generic modern person.

[dugong]

+1 on the 'not being generic modern person' opposition. 

[J-Rod]

Cut down the FB use to work use only (probably said before - helps our SEO). Sometimes though, I catch myself reading through my home feed and slowly feeling my bile rising. According to that thing...

 

- Every small, personal drama is a massive crisis where everyone needs to have an opinion

or

- No-one ever has Not Fun! Fun! All the time! Fun! Don't you wish you were having fun too!?

or

- Here's some turgid pseudo-politics which I dredged up to make myself look intelligent. 

or

- Here's some video of Someone doing Something Funny. 

 

Oy vey... 

 

The girl I work with has a similar despair with all this. Her mates are big into Tinder (she's a few years younger than I) - so much so, it's actually at the expense of going out to the pub to meet real people.  

 

I really hope this is all just a craze... like slapbands. Remember those? I lost mine  

[Rover414]

Driving along Victoria Street in Liverpool City Centre last night, there is one of those speed cameras by the traffic lights to get you if you jump the red light. Doing just under 30mph in an Optare Solo with passengers on board and they change not giving me enough time to stop safely, had passengers on board and due to insurance claims etc we were told not to slam on for lights. Anyway, I got flashed by the camera. What a bummer.