The grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

Considering they're all claiming to be on £100k salaries....

 

EFA.

[MarvinsMom]

this afternoon i passed some guy on the M1 north driving some newish (i guess) black lamborghini something.

 

dunno what sort it was (they aren't really my thing) but it did sound mighty fine.

 

it was been driven in a considerate manner, he used the indicators, leaving plenty of room in front, sticking to the speed limit (even out the road works) you know the sort of thing.

 

in complete contrast to the wankers in german shit heaps (mainly from munich) who seemed to be weaving like mad, tailgating and generally living up to their deserved reputation.

 

so on the one hand someone driving something proper quick/exotic/expensive driving in a sensible manner where as those others who think they have something special on tick or as a company car diving like complete bell ends.....

 

goes to show.

[anonymous user]

I don't normally complain about tractors on the road, I'm used to it, they have as much rights on the road as anything else and I accept they need to use the roads to get places, as not all fields are inter-connected. Most around here are considerate, today I was behind an utter fool.

 

He was a very large bloke, not relevant, other than it looked like he was wearing the cab and should have bought a bigger size. He trundled at barely walking pace, with a visibly overloaded trailer having to come to a stop to change gears. It was a narrow road so no-one could get past, with the queue behind getting ever longer, he passed a few places where he could have pulled in but didn't. Eventually he decided to stop on a fairly blind bend, not to let people past but to rummage in the cab for a bottle of pop and then sat there drinking it while people, including me, had to decide whether to dice with the blind bend to pass, or wait for him to get going again. An absolute git, I can understand if anyone encountered someone like that for the first time they may assume all tractor drivers were inconsiderate. If someone hadn't arranged a late meeting for me on a Friday I wouldn't have been on the road at that time, so the ultimate grump is aimed at my colleague.

[fairkens]

The French, that is all

 

ETA I'm working in Paris at the moment, trying to sort out our team there as we can't seem to keep good managers. As a consequence I cannot justify buying Monsieur Shitepez's very nice derv 405 as I will not be around to used it for at least 6 months and probably longer. Mucho sadz

 

Was in an important meeting today with the team and pretty much all the grand fromage from the European exec board. At 3pm this conversation occurred:

 

Pierre (senior member of team): (interrupts european MD) what teem eez eet?

 

Me: it's 3o'clock

 

Pierre: zeriouzlee?!

 

Me: yes, why what's the problem?

 

Pierre: zeriouslee 3pm?!

 

Me: *raised eyebrow face*

 

Pierre: Zat means eets LOLLIPOP TIME!!! *minces out of room and returns 30 seconds later with a big pile of ice lollies*

 

Me: doublefacepalm

 

I've got another 6 months of this...

 

Tl:dr the French

[Eddie Honda]

An absolute git, I can understand if anyone encountered someone like that for the first time they may assume all tractor drivers were inconsiderate.

Reminded me of this old but gold one: https://youtu.be/8YW6jnilwx8?t=21m32s

[Taff]

I would'nt say it was poor Taff - more like absolutely fucking shit. Tom Hardy grunts for two hours.

 

If I had been in it I would have asked for my name to be removed from the credits.

 

poor scores slightly above dire on the Taff scale...the Hemi on open headers saved it, mate

 

this made me grumpy, I hate it when a car disappears under tat

 

 

I'll dig it out tomorrow, I promise...

[beko1987]

Took a corner a bit too fast be accident on the way back from seeing Amys nan, was only doing 35, turns out the wafty curve turns into a fucking more than 90 degree bend that wasnt that steep when we went round it the other way... Managed to just stop, then turn back onto my side of the road, but could just feel it start to wash out.

 

That wasnt the bad bit, SWMBO's reaction was...

[michael1703]

Can we lose the SWMBO bollocks?

 

Not picking on you Beko but it's getting on my tits

 

Wife/missus/bird/flange/handbrake/snatch are all much better words

[Louise2cv]

Flange/handbrake/snatch.

 

Flange.

 

Handbrake.

 

Snatch.

 

This is what you call your lady friend?

 

<Narrows eyes>

you do have a lady friend...?

 

 

Anyway.

 

 

Stay classy!

[chaseracer]

Can we lose the SWMBO bollocks?

 

Not picking on you Beko but it's getting on my tits

 

Wife/missus/bird/flange/handbrake/snatch are all much better words

 

How about we each use whatever term of endearment we choose?  That OK with you?

 

[DeeJay]

I'll go with  "The light of my life".

(Just in case she ever gets nosey).

[Inspector Morose]

If SWMBO was alright with Rumpole of the Bailey then is fine with me.

[Clanger]

Pierre: Zat means eets LOLLIPOP TIME!!! *minces out of room and returns 30 seconds later with a big pile of ice lollies*

 

Me: doublefacepalm

 

I've got another 6 months of this...

 

Tl:dr the French

WTF is wrong with you   You lucky, lucky bastard...Lollipop time is awesome - if only we all worked at a firm with an official lollipop time!

[STUNO]

The French, that is all

 

Pierre: Zat means eets LOLLIPOP TIME!!!

Me: doublefacepalm

 

 

The Europeans have just about won that round. Called "how to take the piss out of the British" 

[UmBongo]

Can we lose the SWMBO bollocks?

 

Not picking on you Beko but it's getting on my tits

 

Wife/missus/bird/flange/handbrake/snatch are all much better words

 

Yeah, that SWMBO crap gets really tedious.

 

Also, people who refer to themselves in the third person, pretentious bollocks.

[Parky]

^^^^ Parky would NEVER do this ^^^^

[UmBongo]

Videos on the yahoo news shite (I know, i know, but it's on my home page) that have titles such as 'Lion meets dog in safari park and what happens next is INCREDIBLE.'

 

Give me strength.

[michael1703]

I'm a miserable git

 

I just hate 93.7% of words in use

 

There's that IMHO, the worst one that makes my skin crawl is "to be fair"

 

I've got a mate who starts and ends sentences with "to be fair"

 

If I'm referring to my partner I just say wife

 

If your partner is referred to as SWMBO then your life must be pretty shit

[michael1703]

poor scores slightly above dire on the Taff scale...the Hemi on open headers saved it, mate

 

this made me grumpy, I hate it when a car disappears under tat

 

 

I'll dig it out tomorrow, I promise...

That's the beginning of the end, a tyre will go flat and then it's "a barn find" for fuzz Townsend to resurrect for you whilst your walking around beaulieu

[Cheggers]

I'm a miserable git

 

I just hate 93.7% of words in use

 

There's that IMHO, the worst one that makes my skin crawl is "to be fair"

 

I've got a mate who starts and ends sentences with "to be fair"

 

If I'm referring to my partner I just say wife

 

If your partner is referred to as SWMBO then your life must be pretty shit

So I've got a self-confessed miserable git who doesn't like most words telling me MY life must be pretty shit. That's like having Mo Farah telling you to put a bit of weight on...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

someone said 'To be fair'. OH THE HORROR!

[purplebargeken]

To be fair it wasn't that bad. Oh fuck 

[purplebargeken]

I finally have some money. I know! It was a bit of a surprise to me to be honest.

 

Now the inner dialogue dilemma.

 

Oooooh. Money. Get car!

 

Fuck off you stupid twat, we have enough cars.

 

Yeah but you could get a XXXXXXX!

 

Well, that would be cool but we have enough cars!

 

'Starts to look on eBay'.

 

Hmm, some ok stuff but nothing really jumps out.

 

Anyway, we have enough cars to be going on with!

 

Fuck off you cunt and look at cars.

 

Oh ok.

 

I could get all of our current cars sorted!

 

Just. Fucking. Look.

 

Ok.

 

 

I hate internal dialogues, they can be very unreasonable.

[beko1987]

Hehe, ill call her the flange from now on. Domt want to be responsible for ruining someones weekend!

[purplebargeken]

Alfa Sele-speeds are to be avoided, right?

[Inspector Morose]

There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.â€Â

 

Frank Zappa.

[Timewaster]

Alfa Sele-speeds are to be avoided, right?

Unless they are VERY cheap, fully working and come with a lifetime warranty.

 

Actually a mate had a 156 and he had to have a couple of solenoids and several gallons of an expensive potion but the actual box was okay.

 

Shit to drive though.

[Cavcraft]

purplebargeken, on 10 Oct 2015 - 10:17 AM, said:

Alfa Sele-speeds are to be avoided, right?

 

 

Yes.

[Richard]

I have a pretty good knowledge of rude words and slang but "handbrake" is a new one on me.

[Timewaster]

Somebody or something that impedes your progress?

 

see also ball and chain.