The grumpy thread

[DVee8]

This is the front bumper of the red astra that i think hit my astra yesterday.

 

[vulgalour]

@Beko:  bumflaps and cuntfuttocks.

[Noel Tidybeard]

I have seriously fucked up tomorrow. I have to be in Newton Abbot by 8:30 to drop the Honda off and if you knew NA, you'd realise that even though it is only about 8 miles, it will take about an hour to get there. This means, I will have to get up at 6:00 (it takes ages to get going in the morning   ) which is a bit if a problem as I don't usually get to sleep until about 5:00....

 

Then, I have to get home in the inevitable Honda Jazz that I will be given, so I won't get back before 10:00 at the earliest. I then have an hour or two before (hopefully) Bentley ownership attempt no two arrives. In that couple of hours, I have got to do some serious housework as my son is coming down here tonight and he is a fussy little bastard and won't sleep in a room with dog hair.... this flat is like homage to dog hair!

 

Then at some point later on, got to return the Jazz, pay huge bill and get home again, also got to take the dogs out in the afternoon - hope it's not raining...

 

Then Kyle arrives about 7:30 - 8:00 and we have to get his car to the painters straight away as they are waiting for the car so they can put new bumper/spoiler/splitter thing on and make it fit, spray it and then machine polish the whole car.... birthday present from me!

 

I'm fucked just writing that lot, thank fuck I haven't got a job, I'd never fit it all in

tell him to tidy his own room- cos now you a bentley owner and ownerz dont do none of that shit!

[Jim Bergerac]

It's just the OMG ORIGINAL CONTENT ONLY brigade. Someone posts a thoroughly shite worthy pic and then gets lambasted by the mods and their pathetic hangers on because it was spotted on another group. Of course he can read you fucktard, how did he type out the post and put it onto FB in the first place? 

 

Aye, that annoys me too. The net result is something that ends up being like the lazy spotters thread only with more 2000-plate Corsas and the occasional decent thing dotted around them. I remember ages ago that someone shared some old street scenes or something like that from another group (actually they may even have scanned them themselves, it was a while ago) and the mods kicked off because 'not original content'. I enjoy looking at that kind of thing a lot more than 'spots' of bloody Corsas.

[Richard]

Facebook is the J D Wetherspoon of the internet.

[Mr Lobster]

For many years, the only thing I've ever heard about the Autoshite Facebook page is that it is absolute shit.

 

 

 

This to the power of one million. I've never bothered with the Autoshite facebook page as it seems to be an unending stream of shit that has little relation to the forum it supposedly represents. Why it exists is a bit of a mystery to me.

[Cavcraft]

The Facebook one is appalling. I was removed from it (after a very short return spell) because I couldn't sit by and read any more of the absolute bollocks on it. I think the final straw for me (and admin) was some tit who tree his toys on the floor in a 'I'm leaving, everyone look at me ' rant because not enough people had 'liked' his picture of an old car. Cue a load iof Snivellers and arse lickers begging him to stay and that was the (forced) end of it all for me. I don't know how Jim manages to be honest, fair play to him.

[cobblers]

This is the front bumper of the red astra that i think hit my astra yesterday.

 

 

 

I dunno man, I'm struggling to see how that damage and the scrope down your arch line up.

[Taff]

Just watched mad max fury road.

 

Should have been called mad max without a plot.

 

it is poor, not a patch on the originals. The hot rodder in me likes the cars though, that's my justification for buying a copy

[Bren]

I would'nt say it was poor Taff - more like absolutely fucking shit. Tom Hardy grunts for two hours.

 

If I had been in it I would have asked for my name to be removed from the credits.

[EssDeeWon]

This is the front bumper of the red astra that i think hit my astra yesterday.

 

 

Any luck with CCTV images??

 

I guess this is where you find out whether the camera's are genuine or not. So many aren't...

[Bren]

BBC programme on now - crash for cash scams.

 

The best way To avoid these things is simple - dont crash into the car in front. If you drive up somebody's riggot expect the worse. Simples.

[cobblers]

Had today off work because I need a rest and a lay in. Every weekend is taken up with the missus wanting to do "something" and most evenings after work I spend learning stuff for work anyway so I barely ever get to do nothing. I'm usually fine with this but lately I'm exhausted.

 

Our lass gets up at 6am for work. Turns the big light on because she can't find her bra or some bollocks and wakes me up. Sends the dogs upstairs who come bouncing across the bed trampling on my head. Has a shower, goes downstairs into the kitchen and starts shouting "OH DAVE DAVE THE SHOWER IS LEAKING AGAIN QUICK" so I get out of bed and have a look and sure enough there's a damp spot on the ceiling and water coming down the wall. I go in the bathroom for a piss to find she's just done her usual trick of having the shower on full bore for half an hour (to warm the bathroom up) and leaving the fucker half pointing down the wall so most water just runs along the edge of the bath and down the side, and the entire floor is covered in water.

I settle the dogs back down and get back in bed and fall back asleep. 

 

"DAVE IT'S BIN DAY WHAT BIN IS IT TODAY?"

Of course I don't bloody know, why not look out of the window and see what everyone else has out, just like I would have to?

 

She leaves for work, I get my head down again. Then my phone rings.

"DAVE! it's the recycling bin I couldn't move it cos there's all stuff in the way. I've just seen the bin lorry up the road you need to put it out quick"

So I get out of bed, sling some clothes on. I get to the bin and there is a singular 2' square piece of 9mm MDF leant against it.

Put the bin out. Settle the dogs back down, back in bed.

 

Phone rings again.

"DAVE! will you go into town to pick a parcel up for me today?, I forgot to have it delivered to work instead and it needed signing for"

 

She's lovely and everything but jesus christ life was much easier when I was single.

[cros]

Minor grump really, but I've left the AS FG group because... well... it's crap.

 

Please don't do that again, theres still a few people left who haven't fully embraced social media and who could therefore could be forgiven for briefly imagining that theres an Autoshite sub-group for Leyland's 'threepenny bit'.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Got ran into the back of the Frontera this morning. Wife was driving sat in a line of traffic at some lights and was hit from behind when just about to set of by a woman aged in her 50's.

 

She's admitted it's her fault said he foot slipped on her Golf. Had a look underneath and can't see any damage just what's in the pic was obvious.

 

Wasn't going fast but a very loud noise. Sounds shit but we both have sore necks (mother in law was in the back and as she's a twat says she's ok).

 

Women that hit us really adamant that she doesn't want to go through the insurance but I'm not sure yet.

 

[DVee8]

Any luck with CCTV images??

 

I guess this is where you find out whether the camera's are genuine or not. So many aren't...

It seems that the cctv is inconclusive.I'll find out more this afternoon.I may owe someone an apology.

[Sigmund Fraud]

I have 7 cars. As of this morning, only one is working.

 

Now I have to decide whether I should spend the entire weekend fixing broken cars or scrap the lot for £250 and buy a Sandero on finance.

[wuvvum]

everyone look at me

 

As far as I can see it, this is the entire premise behind Facebook summed up in four words.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Cunning

Linguist ?

This is exactly this sort of weak joke that kind'a lingers on here.

[EssDeeWon]

Women that hit us really adamant that she doesn't want to go through the insurance but I'm not sure yet.

 

 

Im sure she doesn't, but she's hit you up the arse, therefore its not really her decision, adamant or not. Sorry love...

[chaseracer]

It is exactly this sort of weak joke that kind'a lingers on here.

 

Sorry, Julian.

 

 

[vulgalour]

Well, speaking to the current landlord didn't go well and cemented my already low opinion of him as a feckless, intolerant, obnoxious, argumentative, stubborn, unpleasant specimen of a human being.  Shan't be speaking to him again.  Spoke to the new landlord to fill them in on the problems we're having and to make them aware of the possibility that current landlord might be problematic with the moving process and they were really understanding about it.

 

Then the current landlord refused to give a reference, which is a bit odd because we've never missed rent, and the only requests we've made for repairs have been reasonable.  It's not unreasonable to ask that sewage drains away properly rather than into the back yard so we have to hose it down (not fixed).  Nor is it unreasonable to ask the landlord at least inspects why there's damp stains on the ceiling and water marks down the walls every time it rains.  Certainly not unreasonable to ask for the boiler to be fixed when it breaks in winter.

 

The good news is that the new application for the nice house is so far going smoothly and very quickly.  I can just see the current landlord really digging his heels in about letting us leave (which won't make a jot of difference, I'm sure).  He's probably extra cross because the tenants a couple of doors down in his other property didn't even see out their first six months living here.

 

Still, it's my first bad landlord experience since I started renting 16 years ago so I don't suppose that's too bad going is it?

[EssDeeWon]

Ah landlords..

 

Does he hold a hefty deposit? Sounds like he could start being a dick so try and leave everything as it was, or better so he has no excuses.

 

Some are fine, and some will purposely look for reasons to keep hold of the deposit. 

[dave21478]

Paint reactions.

Im not respraying a Dino or anything, but then neither am I brush-painting a garden gate but despite doing everything "right" 3/4s of the job comes out ok and 1/4 looks like a cheap hookers thighs.

[Cavcraft]

Facebook is the J D Wetherspoon of the internet.

 

No chance. In my local 'spoons you can sit at the table at the bottom of the stairs and have crafty looks at a fit bird's arse (and sometimes knickers) in real life. Can't do that on Facebook. 

 

 

*I know, I've tried.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Well, speaking to the current landlord didn't go well and cemented my already low opinion of him as a feckless, intolerant, obnoxious, argumentative, stubborn, unpleasant specimen of a human being.  Shan't be speaking to him again.  Spoke to the new landlord to fill them in on the problems we're having and to make them aware of the possibility that current landlord might be problematic with the moving process and they were really understanding about it.

 

Then the current landlord refused to give a reference, which is a bit odd because we've never missed rent, and the only requests we've made for repairs have been reasonable.  It's not unreasonable to ask that sewage drains away properly rather than into the back yard so we have to hose it down (not fixed).  Nor is it unreasonable to ask the landlord at least inspects why there's damp stains on the ceiling and water marks down the walls every time it rains.  Certainly not unreasonable to ask for the boiler to be fixed when it breaks in winter.

 

The good news is that the new application for the nice house is so far going smoothly and very quickly.  I can just see the current landlord really digging his heels in about letting us leave (which won't make a jot of difference, I'm sure).  He's probably extra cross because the tenants a couple of doors down in his other property didn't even see out their first six months living here.

 

Still, it's my first bad landlord experience since I started renting 16 years ago so I don't suppose that's too bad going is it?

 

 

I had a bad landlord once, the local tax office got to hear about our rent cheques being written in his daughters name when we left.

[wuvvum]

Ah landlords..

 

Does he hold a hefty deposit? Sounds like he could start being a dick so try and leave everything as it was, or better so he has no excuses.

 

Some are fine, and some will purposely look for reasons to keep hold of the deposit. 

Or just withhold the last month's rent and tell him to take it out of the deposit.

[vulgalour]

Oh he's a spectacularly unpleasant person.  In the past Mike found reports that he turned very blind eyes to prostitution, drug dealing and antisocial behaviour in some of his other properties, choosing to ignore the authorities until he had no choice at all.  Rent isn't due until the 21st and we may well be out of the property by then.  His demand that everything be done in writing by post, refusing the reference and insisting on a one-month notice are all tactics to keep us here and none of them will work if our prospects can improve.

[Parky]

Ultimately you are in his property so you would think he would want to keep you fairly sweet to preserve his investment.

 

It's hard to rent a place without a kitchen, toilet, staircase, carpet, light bulbs, doors, radiators...............

[garethj]

I don't know why I do it to myself, it's like picking a scab.  I read a thread on Pistonheads.

 

I get an e-mail from them every so often about what people I don't like do with cars and one of the hot topics linked on there was "are fast cars from the '90s still fast" or some such bollocks.  Like lots of threads it's just a thinly veiled attempt to justify why buying a new car is so fab, and how rubbish old cars really are.

 

I'm aware that sometimes the opposite goes on here and it's pretty tedious, but the difference I think is that on there they actually believe their own bullshit.  Nonsense gets trotted out about 0-60 times, how quick the new cars accelerate from 120mph, how slow everything old (to me 1990 is still pretty new) is.  Someone pipes up about driving pleasure and generally gets a good shoeing for it.  They continue on in this "I'm certainly glad we've all got new cars, we're so much smarter than people used to be" drivel until.... actually I don't know what, I can never make it past half a dozen pages.

 

I'd put this on their site but I learned long ago that trying to get a cretin to open his mind takes more patience than I care to expend.  Here's the story, guys:

 

New cars are probably quicker against a stopwatch.

Old cars often feel quicker because they're not so refined.

 

If you want to get somewhere quick, don't bother pissing about with a slightly faster sports saloon than one made 5 years ago.  However fast you think your car is, almost any motorbike is faster.  Stopwatch, cross country, across town, through traffic, on the twistys or up the motorway.  Want to cover the ground even faster?  A helicopter can get you there in hardly any time at all.  Need to get somewhere soon but too pauper for your own helipad, you fucking poverty stricken loser?  Leave 5 minutes earlier then you can amble about in what ever car you fancy, getting all the driving buzz you think you can feel through your "focused" 4 wheel weapon.  You know that if you talked about "real world torque" in a genuine conversation with a real person you'd be in a straight jacket within minutes.

 

I think what's really brought this on is the absolute selfish arrogance of driving on the road this week where one tosser was veering across the motorway lanes like he was in a Midtown Madness fantasy and another cut up about 5 cars in the space of 100 yards on the industrial estate.

 

Here's the message once again - you want to go fast, don't chose a car on a crowded road.  You want to get there sooner, leave earlier.

 

Considering they're all on £100k salaries I find it difficult to believe they haven't grasped this yet, seems simple to me.

 

And breathe....