The grumpy thread

[Polystratus]

A! North closed on Weds morning. I drive up there at about 5am.Howcome they can afford to put a load of truck on the road with pretty flashing lights to tell us the road is closed but can't signpost a diversion???Result is chaos as no fucker knows where to go......and end up following someone in the hope they know a bit more.Not just once either........happens all the time.......these 'incident control units' close the road at the drop of a hat.........rarely is diversion posted.Twunts

I was sat at work just next to the A1 at Newark, it was closed when I got there but I crossed the A1 about 5.30am and had a clear run, didn't notice anything odd (you can't actually see the road from that bridge).A colleague then got in to work at 12 noon, having been aiming for 9am! A three tailback caused, like you say, by there being absolutely no diversion signs, so people were just satnavving like sheep into the nearest sleepy town. Like lorry drivers.... and he wasn't even on the A1, this was the A617.

Apparently some of the lorry drivers were following the diversion signs only to end up at the same place they started from. Mind you having that agricultural show at Newark showground didnt help.

[Pillock]

Packaging etc: The problem was they weren't my bits, they belonged to my employer. And if my employer sells things like that on, they've got to meet different legislation since they're a trader, not a private individual. So it's much easier to put it on a pallet, and tell the man with the forklift to make it disappear.FFS, they've literally only just got around to selling working-but-tatty laptops, TVs and games consoles on eBay, up until Christmas they just binned them.Newark: Yeah that LLAMA show (I know it was LAMMA, but the signs have been making me chuckle all week) was a bit of a pain. I made the mistake of leaving work (A1/A17/A46 junction overlooking the Newark showground) at 5pm one day - it was hell.

[Rusty Pelican]

Ah packaging , those stupid bags you get instant currys in ala Asdas , especially the split ones with rice in one , curry in tother , can i open them when theyve been newked , can i hell , , even with sissors they are a bastard . And you could cure global warming just by getting rid of Mr Kiplings bloody cakes , HOW MUCH PACKAGING !!!!

[Cavcraft]

Scottish Power:Here's an idea:Why not have a 'helpline' number that rings umpteen times then goes to voice mail.Maybe have the voice mail tell you not to contact them but instead contact your 'local electricty supplier' instead.But not actually tell me who that is even though our electricity comes from you you shower of shit.Hey, even better if I have to do an Internet seacrh myself to find out that the supplier is the now defunct Manweb. Better still there's a helpline number for them.So I look at the number and IT'S THE SAME FUCKING NUMBER as the one I rang earlier YOU CHISELLING SHITEHAWKS and the SAME FUCKING NUMBER that rings umpteen times and goes to the SAME FUCKING VOICEMAIL MESSAGE.But just in case that's not enough how about advertising a complaints line number, have me wait a mere 25 minutes because you're busy (which I do actually believe because you're so fucking incompetant) you shitbags?Ps repeatedly requesting the details from my current bill is a masterstroke when I pay by bastarding cash at my local shop for one of those key things, isn't it?Shove it up your deep fried shortcake arses you twats.

[warren t claim]

British Telecom Broadband.Now been out of action in my house for over a week. I've been forced to buy a pay as you go dongle just to get onto "Autoshite". Every time I ring up BT for a progress report the Indian in the call centre claims to of "escalated the problem" whatever that means.Quite obviously someone has been trolling Autoshite and informed the smug twat in the BT adverts I slagged off in our Celebrities we want to slap thread and he has pulled some strings to disconnect me.....I am now expecting Ben Fogle to shit through my letterbox any day now.

[chester drawers]

People - usually stupid bints - who stand at the barrier at gigs and dont expect to be pushed/crushed. Fuck off with your moanings please.

Bloody hell yes! They're often accompanied by the over-protective boyfriend too.Look love, there are approximately 1,000 people surging behind us. Only Superman can stop them. Either accept that or move further back. You've spent most of the night shouting at, or taking pictures of, your mate anyway so why are you even here? Bugger off to the pub or stay at home in future...Even if you are fit.

[Station]

'Facepalm'Anyway, my laptops left click has pretty much broken. Oh and I have college at 9, and I just realised I have a hefty load of things to do before I leave at half seven.

What laptop is it? They're often fixable with a bit of lateral thinking

Like using a mouse?

[pogweasel]

Subject: PLEBS who want to buy your stuff out of classic car weekly. Bloke rang wanted to buy a model, said he would call back that evening to arrange collection. As I didn't hear from him for over a week, naturally I flogged it to someone else. This morning this TWAT calls me expecting me to have kept it for him, then starts shouting the odds at me. PRICK. Anyone know some decent gay text services I can sign his mobile number up to?Sadly, CCW won't let you have just an email contact in the ad, so I wouldn't have to actually converse with these people.

[johnnysomersett]

Scottish Power:Here's an idea:Why not have a 'helpline' number that rings umpteen times then goes to voice mail.Maybe have the voice mail tell you not to contact them but instead contact your 'local electricty supplier' instead.But not actually tell me who that is even though our electricity comes from you you shower of shit.Hey, even better if I have to do an Internet seacrh myself to find out that the supplier is the now defunct Manweb. Better still there's a helpline number for them.So I look at the number and IT'S THE SAME FUCKING NUMBER as the one I rang earlier YOU CHISELLING SHITEHAWKS and the SAME FUCKING NUMBER that rings umpteen times and goes to the SAME FUCKING VOICEMAIL MESSAGE.But just in case that's not enough how about advertising a complaints line number, have me wait a mere 25 minutes because you're busy (which I do actually believe because you're so fucking incompetant) you shitbags?Ps repeatedly requesting the details from my current bill is a masterstroke when I pay by bastarding cash at my local shop for one of those key things, isn't it?Shove it up your deep fried shortcake arses you twats.

Heres a little tip for you, just keep smashing the # key...totally fucks with automated systems and often puts you at the front of the Q (also, press 0, 0#, #0, 0* or *0 repeatedly if the hash trick doesnt work) No need to say thank you, just the most beautiful virgin in your village and 12 chickens will suffice

[whitevanman]

or use nthis site to get direct contact missing out the 0870 costs etc

 

http://saynoto0870.com/

[whitevanman]

and hopefully without causing any offence to anyone...you get to talk to people who speak English as their native Language

[Milford Cubicle]

and hopefully without causing any offence to anyone...you get to talk to people who speak English as their native Language

They can be more difficult to understand than the Indians with their sometimes impeccable English, especially if you come across someone whose accent is thick 'estuary English', Liverpudlian or Glaswegian.

[Cavcraft]

Scottish Power:Here's an idea:Why not have a 'helpline' number that rings umpteen times then goes to voice mail.Maybe have the voice mail tell you not to contact them but instead contact your 'local electricty supplier' instead.But not actually tell me who that is even though our electricity comes from you you shower of shit.Hey, even better if I have to do an Internet seacrh myself to find out that the supplier is the now defunct Manweb. Better still there's a helpline number for them.So I look at the number and IT'S THE SAME FUCKING NUMBER as the one I rang earlier YOU CHISELLING SHITEHAWKS and the SAME FUCKING NUMBER that rings umpteen times and goes to the SAME FUCKING VOICEMAIL MESSAGE.But just in case that's not enough how about advertising a complaints line number, have me wait a mere 25 minutes because you're busy (which I do actually believe because you're so fucking incompetant) you shitbags?Ps repeatedly requesting the details from my current bill is a masterstroke when I pay by bastarding cash at my local shop for one of those key things, isn't it?Shove it up your deep fried shortcake arses you twats.

Heres a little tip for you, just keep smashing the # key...totally fucks with automated systems and often puts you at the front of the Q (also, press 0, 0#, #0, 0* or *0 repeatedly if the hash trick doesnt work) No need to say thank you, just the most beautiful virgin in your village and 12 chickens will suffice

Cheers.Chikens are no problem but may have to substitute virgins for idiots!

[myglaren]

I just re-signed for Scottish Power. Been with them for years then got sweet talked int signing for E.on who promised a huge saving (which didn't happen)I have never had need to speak to anyone from SP though, never had a problem with them.They did say that their call centre was in the UK though and it completely passed me by that I don't understand Scottish, Irish, Liverpuddlian, Welsh and many other of the strange languages that proliferate in this green and pleasant land :(Once had to call BT and could not for the life of me deduce what the Irish girl was saying. The Indian guy was fine though. Asked me what the weather was like in Washington which bemused me somewhat until he said he was in Kingston Park, about five miles away and rain was heading my way

[AnthonyG]

Stick (Microsoft programmes) em on ebay, even for £1 a go plus postage? Do you not want £176?

Illegal, I think you'll find.

[whitevanman]

and hopefully without causing any offence to anyone...you get to talk to people who speak English as their native Language

They can be more difficult to understand than the Indians with their sometimes impeccable English, especially if you come across someone whose accent is thick 'estuary English', Liverpudlian or Glaswegian.

Maybe just me, but I can undertstand all the regional accents..and yes some of the subcontinents accents are great...but not very many on the calls I get

[wuvvum]

and hopefully without causing any offence to anyone...you get to talk to people who speak English as their native Language

They can be more difficult to understand than the Indians with their sometimes impeccable English, especially if you come across someone whose accent is thick 'estuary English', Liverpudlian or Glaswegian.

Maybe just me, but I can undertstand all the regional accents..and yes some of the subcontinents accents are great...but not very many on the calls I get

I have absolutely no problem understanding Indians when they speak naturally. It's when they try to make themselves sound English that I have trouble - they accentuate all the wrong syllables and it makes it very hard to follow. And I wish they wouldn't introduce themselves as John or Simon - I'm not going to think any less of you because your name is Sailesh.

 

Having said that, I have more trouble still understanding Glaswegians. Back when the BBC were still allowed to use subtitles when Glaswegians were speaking, I found said subtitles an immense help. I don't have trouble with any other regional accents really - having lived in Norfolk for so long I'm used to accents - but there's something about Glaswegian that I just can't get my ears around.

[wuvvum]

Today I am mostly being annoyed by cars. Front wheel bearing on the 9000 went earlier in the week, popped into Wilcos to get a price. A hundred bloody quid, just for a wheel bearing. And nobody on eBay has the right one available. By contrast, the wheel bearing for the Fourtrak (a far less common vehicle, at least in its petrol form, than a 9000) cost £16 plus eight quid for postage.Took the 104 up to my unit this morning to try and repair a blowing exhaust and sort out the shit running. Found the blow easily enough (a crack on the front pipe near where it joins the front silencer), proceeded to patch it up with a bandage and copious application of Gun Gum. Couldn't get the plugs out with the tools I had up there (they're a bit of an awkward bastard to get to on these) but removed the carb jets and blew them out in the hope that the car would run better. Erm, nope. Not only does it now refuse to run on four cylinders below 4,000rpm, the exhaust front pipe decided it had had enough and snapped completely in two on the way home. So with virtually no exhaust and an engine running on three pots it sounded uncannily like a Harley and my ears were ringing when I got home. I've now dumped it in the driveway while I decide what to do with it. The rear brake shoes have started grinding too. Looks like another week of daily-driver duties for the Townace. Come the end of the month it looks like I will have to bite the bullet and press the Innocenti into daily service.

[FredTransit]

Stick (Microsoft programmes) em on ebay, even for £1 a go plus postage? Do you not want £176?

Illegal, I think you'll find.

Is it? Bugger. Oh well, not like everything on ebay is totally legal is it?

[mattblack]

Couldn't get the plugs out with the tools I had up there (they're a bit of an awkward bastard to get to on these)

There should be a suitable plug spanner in the original tool kit... I've got one 'modified' with a socket welded on from my time at a Puegeot garage... yours for the postage if it's any use?

[Guest]

or use nthis site to get direct contact missing out the 0870 costs etchttp://saynoto0870.com/

You do know that 0845 and 0870 numbers are charged at your local call rate, right?Although that 'No To 0870' site is pretty good, all the 'internal' numbers for my employer are correct bar one. They're a bit mixed up, but dialling the numbers listed will get you through to the correct call centre. You have an exciting choice of semi fluent Durbaners, pissed off Invernessers, stressed Scousers and angry Manc \ Yorkshire hybrids.With regards to accents, I agree with what Wuvuum wrote. I currently work in a [vile] call centre, and most of our HR \ Support lines are outsourced to India. I don't struggle with their accents or the Glaswegians - SCTSH ANDY is from this part of the world, and he has trained me well.TBH, working there has been a bit of an education - I can now speak fluent Stockport, which might as well be another language.You wouldn't believe the number of stuck up twats from Surrey we get on the line who've told me my accent is horrible, though. The temptation to tell them to stick the phone up their arse because I wasn't born with a plum in my mouth can be very strong on some days. Just because my fucking ancestors didn't fight in the Battle of Agincourt doesn't mean I'm unable to sort your problem out.Special shout to the Germans we get phoning as well, who think ripping the piss out of me in their own language means they can get it past me. I told one dickhead 'If you truly think I'm incompetent, could you kindly tell me in English?' That shut him up for a bit.If I were to break down the regions of inbound calls based on arrogance and twattishness, we'd get:1. Surrey2. Oxfordshire3. Cheshire4. Herefordshire5. London Boroughs (Westiminster & Kensington mostly).

[Minimad5]

Tayne stop being grumpy and check your personal messages haha

[pogweasel]

outwith

Not a real word. And a made-up word that really gets on my wick, too.

[Minimad5]

Ooh okay i was just unsure if i should expect a reply

[Milford Cubicle]

outwith

Not a real word. And a made-up word that really gets on my wick, too.

What do you mean it's a made-up word? All words are 'made-up'.According to my brief Googling it's a Scottish made-up word. You big RACIST.

[Mr Lobster]

Working for a Scottish company, I hear 'outwith' quite a lot. They hear 'fuckoffanddieyoucunts' quite a bit too...

[M'coli]

outwith

Not a real word. And a made-up word that really gets on my wick, too.

Give over ! The home counties are full of made-up words that have been inflicted upon the rest of the WORLD for far to long!

[outlaw118]

I'm sure it's been on this thread recently, but I'll re-iterate....ROAD WORKS WITH NOBODY WORKING!!! AVERAGE SPEED CAMERAS!!!!Drove from home (Grays, Essex J31 M25) to Cannock yesterday, and had to put up with unattended roadworks in at least 4 different location, M25 between J28 + 27, M1 (can't remember, but two sections) and The M6 up to J11 or 12, no-one working in any of them."Speed limit to protect workforce" it said....there wasn't one!!!Mind you, did the homeward journey in 2hours 15 minutes, thats with obeying the speed limits...(cough)...Volvo V40 T4...GR9 4 croozin'

[Pillock]

'Facepalm'Anyway, my laptops left click has pretty much broken. Oh and I have college at 9, and I just realised I have a hefty load of things to do before I leave at half seven.

What laptop is it? They're often fixable with a bit of lateral thinking

Like using a mouse?

With careful application of a soldering iron to certain plastic bits

[Mr Lobster]

I'm sure it's been on this thread recently, but I'll re-iterate....ROAD WORKS WITH NOBODY WORKING!!! AVERAGE SPEED CAMERAS!!!!

Yes.I've just got back home from a quick Lancashire > Kidderminster > Gloucester > Worcester > Lancashire collecting mission.The fuggin M6 is absolutely alive with roadworks, all covered by average speed cameras virtually all the way from the M5 to Leyland. This did not please me at all.