The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

Where do all the £50 motahs go anyway?

They get a valet and are suddenly "worth" £50 a month for 6 years.

[pogweasel]

1) the advert for Halifax. Not only is a 'bonus' of £5 a month somewhat derogatory, your commercial featuring your staff hosting a 'zany' breakfast radio show is so utterly moronic that it is beyond contempt. 2) all the people stockpiling milk. It's milk, it doesn't last forever, just buy milk like you normally do, idiots. The only milk option is 6 pints in one go, which when you walk to the shops is not fun. We are not in siberia or even scotland, there is *some* snow, but you are not going to be cut off from Asda until May. Fuckwits.

[Polystratus]

If dat chip cawses a crack, yu'll be devastaaateeed. FUCK OFF! I like the chip!! Autoglass Repair? Autoglass disgrace.

They always look like the size of bullet holes!

[Mr Lobster]

1) the advert for Halifax. Not only is a 'bonus' of £5 a month somewhat derogatory, your commercial featuring your staff hosting a 'zany' breakfast radio show is so utterly moronic that it is beyond contempt.

All the Halifax commercials are utterly painful. And as for 'Howard' He would be reason itself to burn your local branch to the ground.

[Guest]

For once, I haven't shaved out of sheer laziness for a few weeks. I now have enough facial hair that I could shave the beard and be left with a respectable moustache. Sadly, society deems that a full-on Charles Bronson "Death Wish 3" moustache on a man aged 25 in the year 2010 is somehow unacceptable, so when the time comes where I'm fed up of the beard, I'll really have to shave the lot off.This makes me grumpy, because it looks ace.

[Spottedlaurel]

2) all the people stockpiling milk. It's milk, it doesn't last forever, just buy milk like you normally do, idiots. The only milk option is 6 pints in one go, which when you walk to the shops is not fun. We are not in siberia or even scotland, there is *some* snow, but you are not going to be cut off from Asda until May. Fuckwits.

I can't now buy it without thinking of Hirst and his Christmas Day milk scenario.

[pogweasel]

It's on again NOW. I have thrown my shoes at the telly in disgust. All of these current 'ooh we are nice banks' bollocks adverts make me exceptionally angry. The two women who pootle about cornwall or wherever in the NatWest mobile bank van... Well, they won't be so jolly when they are robbed and gang-raped on a remote moor road will they. Twats.

[Guest]

 

Now though I just suggest something once, listen to them poo-poo the idea and find their own way and when that goes wrong I just smile to myself or tell them 'told you so'.

Ah that happens to me daily! I am ignored because I don't have a degree usually. I suggest stuff, it gets ignored, they fuck things up and then go with my idea.

I try not to be smug but it happens constantly!

Oh Lord. Yes, this has caused some issues where I work. Especially in my old department. I distinctly remember being told by the stupid bint with a 3rd in English Language that I didn't know how to compose a letter.

 

Strangely, when there was a charity 'bargain' event one Friday, she knocked up a Powerpoint slide which consisted of the following:

 

'Bring wot youve brought to the sofa's'

 

This was beamed around the whole site when the client was visiting. We have approximately 20 large wall mounted TFTs per floor.

 

After she'd finished pulling my letter (used as a sample) apart in a calibration session within earshot to some new starters (several keyboards were broken mysteriously during this period) I sidled up and suggested that her somewhat trite slide was not the work of graduate but of a brain dead window licker, or words to that effect.

 

It ended up with me getting a disciplinary about my attitude towards certain members of management. To which I said nothing and stared at the wall.

[Guest]

Nice work Dr. Watsonabe! I once got into a ridiculous argument with "the management" at an old job over how to do some relatively menial but quite specific work task, the conversation went roughly like this. Bear in mind that she was a rather catty middle-aged bint.Them: I need to show you how to do this task.Me: That's OK, I already know how to do it now.Them: You don't know how to do it.Me: Oh it's OK now - I was trained on how to do it whilst you were away on holiday, so I've been doing them for the last week now, so I can just get on with them if you like.Them: (suddenly slightly hysterical) Are you arguing with your employer?Me: Eh? No, I'm just disagreeing, I've been trained how to do this, I was trained last week, you weren't here. I can show you the ones I've done.Them: You can't argue with your employer.Me: What, even if they're wrong?Them: Do you want to leave this job?Me: Yeah.And then I picked up my jacket and walked off. I miss temp jobs, I liked the freedom to get the hell out of Dodge at the drop of a hat.

[sporty-shite]

"We're lucky to have jobs"Really? The next time I hear this phrase, I'm convinced that large volumes of blood may well be spilt. Jobs are supposed to be a mutual arrangement, where wages are earned, and profits made. The moment anyone admits that having a job is a stroke of luck leaves them wide open for the sort of exploitation that the rest of their colleagues will be expected to follow.I appreciate having a job, and being able to pay my bills, but don't for one minute think I don't know that those who employ me are also doing quite well, thank you.

[barrett]

For once, I haven't shaved out of sheer laziness for a few weeks. I now have enough facial hair that I could shave the beard and be left with a respectable moustache. Sadly, society deems that a full-on Charles Bronson "Death Wish 3" moustache on a man aged 25 in the year 2010 is somehow unacceptable, so when the time comes where I'm fed up of the beard, I'll really have to shave the lot off.This makes me grumpy, because it looks ace.

Do it! I have one age 24, and it's not nearly as ridiculous as you'd think. LADEEZ LUV IT.

[brammy777]

I dont get trouble from the people who employ me!But its customers who piss me off. Subject to all sorts of charecters in the Retail trade. Oh these are cheaper there! GO THERE THEN. 'Cor thats expensive isnt it?' 'How can something for 60p be expensive? ever?''Youre out of papers? Then why do you send me coupons to buy them?''WHAT?! We dont send coupons, the NEWSPAPER sends you them.''My paper bill is too much, why is it not the amount Ive worked out? Why is it 30p more?'That last one is genuine, some guy had an argument with us due to 30p. Oh and all those twats who try the money scam thing.'Can i change these 2 tenners a fiver and five pound coins for three tens?' 'cheers, now Ill give you these two tenners and thats fifty you owe me.'Some pricks got aggressive with me when I was on my own last week (no other staff anywhere in the shop), and sadly did get the best of me. But its bloody hard when you have two agressive men telling you youre wrong and theyre right. If anyone ever tries this with you, close the till.

[Tayne]

.

[brammy777]

He had actually worked it out wrong haha.Yeh the people had bought something, sadly. We cant open the tills otherwise.

[Father Ted]

'Can i change these 2 tenners a fiver and five pound coins for three tens?' 'cheers, now Ill give you these two tenners and thats fifty you owe me.'

Bloody hell do people really still try that?I last encountered that in 1988 whilst working at Woolyworths. Told the scouse twunt to go forth and make love to himself. Of course he got all shouty as they do, so I stepped out from behind the till and he ran away. Not always been so lucky, chased some shoplifters to have one of them pull a knife on me, I fooked off quick - a bag full of Scotch E-180 video tapes is just so not worth it.I saw more bent money, credit cards and cheques in my time at Woolies than I have ever thought possible.

[ashmicro]

Ah, employers. The last actual employer I had was from 91-98, the Northern Ireland Civil Service. It started off OK and gradually got worse. During a period of serious civil unrest in NI, I lived in estate that made Chatsworth in Shameless look like Belgravia. We had burned out cars, downed telegraph poles and the police were being shot at."DING DONG. The Police have told us that all is quiet, and that no-one will need to leave early" said the PA system in the office. I phoned my mate who at the time was a copper in Belfast and he told me to get home PDQ as the cops were having trouble keeping the road open due to mass rioting.I got up, called the staff officer a wanker and went home.Upon returning to work, there was a disciplinary notice on my desk, report to Mr Soandso. I did. And called him a wanker too for endangering my life by at best misinforming me or at worst lying to me. And went home again.Some bint from Personnel phoned me later in the day, re: I must see them about the disciplinary action. I said "Shove it. I resign. I'll fax you my resignation letter when I finish this call. And no, I'm not working my notice"This poor womans head was spinning "but..but... it says in the codes (T&Cs) of employment you must"I said "No I don't have to. I'm not a Civil Servant anymore"Her "but..But.. it says"I swear she was nearly in tears. By this stage I was feeling kinda sorry for her (don't shoot the messenger and all that) so I said:"Look, tell Mr Soandso if he wants to see me again he'll have to get me arrested OK? And if it makes your life any easier tell them I was very rude to you and hung up"Last I heard from that shower of cunts.I am now an ICT Contractor, so now technically have clients. I swear in 12 years I have only once had any hassle, and it was from a woman who really had nothing to do with why I was working at her firm.She was the Contracts Manager's PA and she said I was costing them too much. Fair do's, I was called into set up a new LAN, but was also tasked to "rectify any other issues as found". So a 6 week job turned into a much longer one.She and I had a fairly heated row shall we say. The LAN was done and A1, so I left a note on said managers desk to that effect and that I wasn't there to take shit off secretaries. And went to the pub.About 3 pints and several Busmills later, I received a frantic phone call from said manager in which he literally pleaded with me to come back, his PA would apologise to me and we might negotiate an increase in the hourly rate.Upon my slightly unsteady return, one of the other PAs told me that the stroppy one had been given a world-class verbal bitchslapping, and that if she didn't apologise to me she'd be on her bike.I shagged her about a fortnight later.So, from the ridiculuous to the sublime, on so many levels!

[M'coli]

^^^The win!!

[Guest]

Upon my slightly unsteady return, one of the other PAs told me that the stroppy one had been given a world-class verbal bitchslapping, and that if she didn't apologise to me she'd be on her bike.I shagged her about a fortnight later.

Hey that's not a bad apology really, nice work.

[shite_meister]

Upon my slightly unsteady return, one of the other PAs told me that the stroppy one had been given a world-class verbal bitchslapping, and that if she didn't apologise to me she'd be on her bike.I shagged her about a fortnight later.So, from the ridiculuous to the sublime, on so many levels!

Ha Ha! excellent work there!

[whitevanman]

I lived in estate that made Chatsworth in Shameless look like Belgravia.

which one?

[Guest]

Work contract security for any amount of time, and you soon realise you cop it from both sides. The company, and the client.In twenty two years, I recieved disciplinary notices for:Driving too slowDriving too fastCrashing a vehicle when I wasn't driving. (Wasn't even on duty)Not smilingChecking too many passes at the doorChecking the MD's passNot checking the MD's passWriting in my pocket book and making someone nearby feel uncomfortableDoing too many patrolsNot doing enough patrolsChecking my work related emailsSaying good morning and making it sound like fcuk offSmiling while being reprimandedAnd the list goes on. You develop a very thick skin in that game, or you just get out.But by far the most satisfying reprimand was for dragging my branch manager across his desk and telling him he should wake up and smell the crap he shovels.That was shortly before he was canned for fraud. There was a God that day.Dan

[ChinaTom]

He had actually worked it out wrong haha.Yeh the people had bought something, sadly. We cant open the tills otherwise.

In olden days (80's) at Halfords, there used to be an 'X' key (and a 'Y' key) that if you turned to a certain position and punched in a very long difficult to remember code (I recall '1111' followed by the "cheque validate" button but there was a LOT more), the till drawer opened and therefore you were able to be scammed at will.I recall one really short tempered till lady who decided to piss the manager off by entering all products through her till on the 000059 dump code for a whole saturday which screwed up the stock management. Only ex-Halfords people from that era will know what a complete nightmare that caused.

[ashmicro]

I lived in estate that made Chatsworth in Shameless look like Belgravia.

which one?

Greenisland

[whitevanman]

Ah.....been there joyfull place to live ...NOT

[rocco1504]

If dat chip cawses a crack, yu'll be devastaaateeed. FUCK OFF! I like the chip!! Autoglass Repair? Autoglass disgrace.

They always look like the size of bullet holes!

Yeah, perhaps they ought to do some kind of Jamaican Yardie Stylee Ad."Bin doin' Sum 'Ard Gang Bangin' ?, Poppin' Caps Alll over da Hood wid de Bruddazz ?, Needin' Sum Radadical Winscreen Surgery ?.Well, Get yo ass over to Autoglass.com, an' we send da Man, an' 'Im make sure yo Never miss dat Nex' opportunity to Cap Dem Suckaz.Cue, a Suitably prepared Gangsta' Rap version of the Autoglass Jingle.Could be a Winner

[Father Ted]

He had actually worked it out wrong haha.Yeh the people had bought something, sadly. We cant open the tills otherwise.

In olden days (80's) at Halfords, there used to be an 'X' key (and a 'Y' key) that if you turned to a certain position and punched in a very long difficult to remember code (I recall '1111' followed by the "cheque validate" button but there was a LOT more), the till drawer opened and therefore you were able to be scammed at will.

Were they ADS Anker tills? We used them at woolies. I still remember the codes 015 kids pick n mix 260 lightbulbs....

[shite_meister]

Today I saw in the shops....Easter Eggs WTF???

[trigger]

Today I saw in the shops....Easter Eggs WTF???

The wife said the other day Tesco's had started to sell Easter eggs, Unbelievable isn't it!

[RedSparrow]

On the way home from work, 5 miles in heavy snow and ice, up and down hill I encountered 2 of the biggest c*nts I have ever seen.The first in a Nissan Navara pickup was driving 2 feet from my back bumper and then rapidly overtook swinging back in front of me nearly sending me off the road.The second in a Mistubishi Shogun pickup with a quad bike on the back UNDERTOOK me at speed on a wide bit of an A road, mounting the pavement as he went. Utter pricks.

[Guest]

It's not really that unbelievable that they sell Easter Eggs this early - supermarkets tend to have a "seasonal" aisle nowadays and once all the Christmas stuff is sold off cheap there's sod all else to put in them until Easter rolls around. They've been doing it a few years now.Reminds me of the outcry when they start selling their Christmas stuff - they do it straight after Halloween, it's fairly routine really!