The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

Just buy new knickers. Nobody cares what the the carcasses look like.

 

 

That's what I do. Whoops, wrong website.

 

 

 

No reply from the contractors web site, I'll try again tomorrow and if no joy I'll just forward them all my spam emails from now on. Next on my list is a well known hotel booking chain thing, just mailed them and will post up any reply, if anyone's interested in reading it.

[TimothyClaypole]

Kitchen?

 

Do as much as possible yourself:

 

 

 

 

 

 

B&Q, built the units, tiled the floor and walls etc.  Paid for the units and worktop fitting and the lighting doing.  I'd never tiled a floor before etc.  I could have fitted the units but wanted it all done at once.

 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Looking at a bike for sale on eBay, £30 start one bid, someone with 3 feedback. 

Turns out they seemingly didn't have a clue about eBay and they'd bid £100 at the start, fuckwit.

 

Why is he a fuckwit then?

[Cavcraft]

Mustard Mitt I don't get why he's a fuckwit either. If you bid on ebay it's your call on how you do it, not averse to strange bidding patterns myself to try and put others off.

[Ratdat]

I've bid early with the maximum I want to pay a few times... usually when I can't be about for the auction end.

[Pillock]

I've made a few granite kitchens. I used to make headstones and the boss decided to branch out and buy a load of sheet granite.

 

Turns out if you cut a two foot sink hole into a piece of two foot six granite, it'll snap. Turns out it's quite fragile. Turns out people who pay thousands for us to fit a worktop in bits and smear some mastic on the join will go batshit and refuse to pay.

 

Went back to making headstones. Easier to bodge.

 

Also, have had plenty of dealings with scrap collectors when I go out on our delivery trucks with cookers and fridges and stuff. Sometimes it's like they can hear the sounds of sack truck hitting old cooker and they're waiting for you by the time you get outside. I found they move sharpish if you are looking at their tax disc when you tell them to do one.

[Parky]

They are amazing. I took an old dishwasher outside whilst I plumbed the new one in. Five minutes later I nipped out front and it had vanished. Didn't see or hear a thing.

 

It's as if there is a network of tunnels or the "non permanent home dwelling citizens of Gaelic descent" have made enough money to employ a small appliance detecting AWACS system providing permanent coverage of the UK

[cms206]

Finally talked SWMBO round; new carcasses to replace the warped ones from the water ingress, one extra cupboard, new doors. Hopefully.

[messerschmitt owner]

Try this lot for doors

 

Kitchendoorworkshop.co.uk

[rml2345]

Finally talked SWMBO round; new carcasses to replace the warped ones from the water ingress, one extra cupboard, new doors. Hopefully.

Good man. We did the kitchen using second hand units with new doors and you'd never know. FATHA_RML was a domestic appliance engineer so knew his way around the installation stuff no bother.

[fordperv]

I have a grinding spark in my eye and am currently at the accident unit.

[jakebullet]

I bought an xbox 360 off evilbay. It'll be fun. Play games, watch iplayer on the big telly.

 

Will it bollocks. Whilst it does those things, it also sounds like a jet engine taking off n dumps enough heat to do a large fryup. And I have that fucking she's more xbox I'm more atari wank song stuck in my head.

[Honey Badger]

I strimmed through a very dead rat in the garden.

 

 

How long does it take for the smell of decomposing rodent to go away after its been splashed up your legs, I should have learnt to wear trousers while strimming after the fox shit incident last year.

 

Lovely

[Inspector Morose]

Too.

[Honey Badger]

I have a grinding spark in my eye and am currently at the accident unit.

Ow, hope they get it sorted.

[mat_the_cat]

I have a grinding spark in my eye and am currently at the accident unit.

 

You have my sympathy. Happened twice to me this year, despite wearing goggles. But the medics were good, and got it out both times no bother.

[jonathan_dyane]

Fucking toothache!

[fordperv]

The lady at the hospital definately knew her stuff, it was at the 12 o clock position on my iris, unfortunately the cotton bud didn't remove it so it had to be removed by scraping a needle across my eye, i got seen within an hour which I was chuffed about, Ive got to go back Friday to have the rust mark removed, around my eye is a bit puffy but it's to be as expected really

[Pillock]

 

 

i got seen within an hour which I was chuffed about, Ive got to go back Friday to have the rust mark removed, around my eye is a bit puffy but it's to be as expected really

Rusting within an hour? What were you grinding, a Lancia?

[twosmoke300]

Ford ka ?

[fordperv]

Lol the rust mark isn't even visible looking in the mirror apparently it's very very minor around where the steel shard was located, at least it rusted like a good ford should, for the record it was a Sierra wheel arch

[Richard]

Metal in your eye rusts really quickly because it's warm and salty. I had a bit of stainless in my eye and even that rusted within a few hours.

[steve_earwig]

I'm glad your mince pies are ok, that shit's pretty scary.

 

I managed to get a shard of tile glaze in my eye a few years back, I had to drive myself to the hostable in Zagreb (about 30Km), my eyes were watering like crazy and I could hardly see. Got there ok and I thought "it's glass, how the feck are they going to see that?", I suppose I was expecting some short-sighted old nun to come out with a big magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers and got rather nervous. Not a bit of it, they got some really funky gear in there, The first thing the guy did was drip some drops in my eye, "Hey, that feels better already!" "Of course it does, I just put anaesthetic in it." They stuck my head in a jig, put some sort of dye in my eye and looked for it with an ultra violet light of some kind under a big binocular microscope. Nothing found, all the eye watering probably flushed it out and all I was feeling was the scratches from it. On my way home the anaesthetic wore off but it was nothing like it had been, the next day I could hardly feel it.

 

As the bikers say, all the gear, all the time.

[michael1703]

I have to go to the eye clinic occasionally for sparks and spatter

 

The worst one was when I had "THE BURR"

 

The burr is effectively a die grinder with a pineapple burr on the end which would be handy for porting but they strap your head in a frame all clockwork orange style and wrap your eyelids around a pencil and dig into your eye with the die grinder

 

I was alright for a while but when the pain started going down my spine, I'd decided it was time for a quick projectile vomit in their sink

[purplebargeken]

Enough with the eye issues please. Urrgghhhh! I have some kind of eye phobia.

[fordperv]

I've heard of the die grinder one and that was the one I was dreading so thank god she got it out with the needle, I'm not squeamish one bit, it's just that damn unnatural letting someone poke and prod at your peeper

[Gerald]

[Gerald]

[michael1703]

You don't like bernese mountain dogs or spelling errors?

[Parky]

I think it's Alfred Hitchcock obscuring the bottom left corner that's annoyed him