The grumpy thread

[paulplom]

Fixed the hole anyway. Autoshite bandage.

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[Wack]

Neighbour came back from a ride on his bike yesterday evening, left it on the drive ,went in the house for 5 minutes, came out to see some cunt in a hi viz vest riding it away , I'm sure the hi viz is the new cloak of invisibility , surely a thief wouldn't make themselves look so noticeable, yes they would

[Alex66]

9 minutes ago, Wack said:

Neighbour came back from a ride on his bike yesterday evening, left it on the drive ,went in the house for 5 minutes, came out to see some cunt in a hi viz vest riding it away , I'm sure the hi viz is the new cloak of invisibility , surely a thief wouldn't make themselves look so noticeable, yes they would

Well there was the bloke who covered his face in lemon juice to make himself invisible to rob a bank a good few years ago, https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Dunning-Kruger_effect

[New POD]

Bogus Official

I’m the man that you need on the day that it rains
I’m the wiser advisor on capital gains
I’m the lowlife pretending to look at your drains
I’m a bogus official
Don’t let me in

I’m the police, I’m the clergy, I’m Measures and Weights
I’m the chap doing the survey on alley gates
I need to know where you’ll be on the following dates
‘Cos I’m a bogus official
Nice dress

Courteous, friendly, jolly, and fat
With a smile saying, “Look, I know it’s under the mat
I don’t give a fuck about your missing cat”
B-O-G-U-S official

Name the band

[5speedracer]

In a massive fit of not fucking concentrating my current girlfriend has managed to write off my volvo against my van while pulling away from parked behind it. She has her own policy on the volvo luckily. I've owned it for 10 years or so and I love it to bits. We've been all over the county caravaning with it as well as trips abroad. I'm gutted.
A mate with a body shop has quoted me £450 if I buy the door to repair it. I'm hoping the insurance company will let me buy it back though. Not bothered in the least about the van although I still want it fixed.

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She made a job of it....

Sent from my Redmi 4 using Tapatalk

[New POD]

One for the depression thread. 

 

 

I'm depressed beyond tablets, gone beyond pills

The cloud base is low on the clewidian Hills. 

[Wack]

6 hours ago, paulplom said:

In a massive fit of not fucking concentrating my current girlfriend has managed to write off my volvo against my van while pulling away from parked behind it. She has her own policy on the volvo luckily. I've owned it for 10 years or so and I love it to bits. We've been all over the county caravaning with it as well as trips abroad. I'm gutted.
A mate with a body shop has quoted me £450 if I buy the door to repair it. I'm hoping the insurance company will let me buy it back though. Not bothered in the least about the van although I still want it fixed.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk
 

My (now)wife did exactly that 24 years ago with a renault Laguna, I'd only had it a month , she parked in an under the arches lock up through work, came back and somebody had parked a Luton van with it blocking 2ft of the exit

She went for it and the car looked exactly like yours , when I asked why she didn't go right she said I don't know the way home if I turn right 

I still married her because big tits trumped bad driving back then 

[colnerov]

5 hours ago, 5speedracer said:

She made a job of it....

Sent from my Redmi 4 using Tapatalk
 

Just as long as she doesn't make a career of it.

[paulplom]

Her 1st ever accident. Been driving 30 years.

[DoctorRetro]

Fucking Insurance!

1998 Ford Galaxy 2.0 with 7 seats and Cat C or D (Can't remember which) = £38 per month.

2000 Nissan Almera 1.5..........................................................................................................= £41 per month

 

Go figure.

Pissed off now, this was about saving money.

 

[shedenvy]

16 hours ago, TheDoctor said:

Go figure.

Pissed off now, this was about saving money.

 

Does that include your admin fee for change of policy? If so, depending on how many months you have left, the Almera IS cheaper to insure. I always get stung the £25 or whatever - even when it's an online change and you have paperless settings. Needless to say swapping cars every 5 minutes can never end up saving you money.

[Bianconeri]

22 hours ago, Scotty2 said:

Bogus Official: The Wirrels finest, Half Man Half Biscuit.

See also "King of Hi Viz"

 

All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague away shirt

[Bianconeri]

6 minutes ago, shedenvy said:

Does that include your admin fee for change of policy? If so, depending on how many months you have left, the Almera IS cheaper to insure. I always get stung the £25 or whatever - even when it's an online change and you have paperless settings. Needless to say swapping cars every 5 minutes can never end up saving you money.

I had a similar bizarre exchange back in 2016 when I bought my KIA. Along the lines of 'your annual premium has reduced by £50 so that'll be £75 extra for the change and the remianing 3 months of cover....'. An interesting* exchange of views took place.

[Tenmil Socket]

On 7/7/2019 at 8:26 AM, dave j said:

Saw this tyre on a car parked next to me yesterday. It was a 13 plate c max. Scary to think people drive with tyres in this state! 

Shitting Nora !

[DoctorRetro]

46 minutes ago, shedenvy said:

Does that include your admin fee for change of policy? If so, depending on how many months you have left, the Almera IS cheaper to insure. I always get stung the £25 or whatever - even when it's an online change and you have paperless settings. Needless to say swapping cars every 5 minutes can never end up saving you money.

My renewal is may. Across the year, it is a couple of quid more expensive apparently, but obviously exacerbated by the admin fee. Just surprised it was about the same yearly premium for both cars. 

[DoctorRetro]

1 hour ago, shedenvy said:

... swapping cars every 5 minutes can never end up saving you money.

Don't say things like that, you'll break Autoshite ?

[Lacquer Peel]

Don't say things like that, you'll break Autoshite

Are you actually enjoying this though?

[DoctorRetro]

6 minutes ago, Lacquer Peel said:

1 hour ago, TheDoctor said:

Don't say things like that, you'll break Autoshite
 

Are you actually enjoying this though?

Me? No. I was referring to the rest of Autoshite, who mostly seem to enjoy the madness. ?

 

[shedenvy]

18 hours ago, Lacquer Peel said:

Are you actually enjoying this though?

 

[Wack]

4 hours ago, TheDoctor said:

My renewal is may. Across the year, it is a couple of quid more expensive apparently, but obviously exacerbated by the admin fee. Just surprised it was about the same yearly premium for both cars. 

I had a range rover 2002 with the 3.0D engine in, insured for £200 , i got a quote for a 1999 BMW 330D with the 3.0D engine in it, £450 , bought a MX5 £107 ,I'm sure it's a quote dartboard

[Cavcraft]

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh. I went to see the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night and half way through the triangle player just disappeared.

[Fumbler]

53 minutes ago, Cavcraft said:

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh. I went to see the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night and half way through the triangle player just disappeared.

The rest of the orchestra subsequently crashed without warning.

[Inspector Morose]

1 hour ago, Cavcraft said:

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh. I went to see the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night and half way through the triangle player just disappeared.

You think you've got problems. I had to call the police out to the wife as she refused to take her afternoon nap.

They arrested her for resisting arrest.

[3VOM]

4 hours ago, Cavcraft said:

Hard to know what you're moaning about, tbh. I went to see the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra last night and half way through the triangle player just disappeared.

I used to play triangle in a reggae band. I was tucked away at the back, doing my own ting.

[Fumbler]

I have no choice  but to...

 

[vulgalour]

The house move saga continues.  The house my other half is currently renting and which I'd started to move my stuff into is now, presumably, being sold by the landlord so it needs to be vacated by the end of August.  Super!  That means faffing about trying to find another rental property suitable at short notice and a hit to the savings for both of us when we could do without it.

We're trying to be positive about it and hoping we can find somewhere at least with flatter off-road parking and maybe even a bit more internal space.

[Jazoli]

52 minutes ago, vulgalour said:

The house move saga continues.  The house my other half is currently renting and which I'd started to move my stuff into is now, presumably, being sold by the landlord so it needs to be vacated by the end of August.  Super!  That means faffing about trying to find another rental property suitable at short notice and a hit to the savings for both of us when we could do without it.

We're trying to be positive about it and hoping we can find somewhere at least with flatter off-road parking and maybe even a bit more internal space.

They can't make you move out by end August, 3 months is the minimum they can give you, and then you really don't have to if you want to be awkward/cannot find somewhere to live, as long as you keep paying the rent they will have to evict you, they might even pay you to leave, you have a lot of rights as a tenant and sometimes it pays to play the game. 

[colnerov]

7 minutes ago, Jazoli said:

They can't make you move out by end August, 3 months is the minimum they can give you, and then you really don't have to if you want to be awkward/cannot find somewhere to live, as long as you keep paying the rent they will have to evict you, they might even pay you to leave, you have a lot of rights as a tenant and sometimes it pays to play the game. 

 Unless his landlord is a Rachman clone.

[vulgalour]

Yeah, we're not fighting it.  We're just going to find somewhere else.  Life is too short.

[sierraman]

I apologise now if I’m going to upset any dog owners... We’ve been entrusted, unbeknownst to me, to look after the in laws dog. Who on earth signs up for this? It’s a PITA! The god forsaken thing is constantly under my feet, pestering the kids, pissing in the kitchen. It’s like having kids but with none of the benefits of them. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!