The grumpy thread

[Slaighty]

The World Cup.

 

If we win I will really wipe the smug grins off the faces of Alex Salmond and Andy Murray.

 

.

er, we ain't gonna win.

 

I mght support a "cool" team like Brazil

[Guest]

The World Cup.

 

If we win I will really wipe the smug grins off the faces of Alex Salmond and Andy Murray.

 

.

er, we ain't gonna win.

 

I mght support a "cool" team like Brazil

There's more chance of me qualifying for a front row place on the BTCC grid. In my Amazon.

 

Actually, can I just have a few quid for the TV rights and hot my Volvo up? My mate Mahmoud can then film Pete and me racing around Oulton Park, and I guarantee it would be a damn sight more interesting than the current crop of Lacettis et al droning around like buses.

[outlaw118]

Re agencies - I know I'm late, but hey...

 

2008, applied for a job with agency, got a call, they want to interview me. Ok, great, expecting them to say Brentwood - where the Head Office is.

No, the HR department is in Hirst country, Wakefield and I need to go up there. "Don't worry" they said " We realise it's a long way, and they're gonna pay a contribution toward your travel expenses".

 

Needless to say, I took the day off - unpaid as I'd booked all my leave - trundled up there, interviewed, mentioned the ££ at the end, they looked surprised, and said they'd never paid expenses before, and gave me the look that said "We think you're a twat, and you're definitely not getting the job".

 

I heard nothing from either agency or employer after a week, I rang agency, and they denied ever having mentioned money, and told me I hadn;'t got the job, and wouldn't/couldn't tell me why.

 

So thats a 420 mile round trip, plus a day's money lost, the whole sorry episode probably cost me about £150, possibly more. GOATBLOWERS!

[Mr Lobster]

I am semi permenantly grumpy at the moment. The reasons for this are twofold -

 

1. Selling my house. OMFG how hard does it need to be? Really. Getting dicked about by the people 'who are desperate to be in' or at least by their bank. Was supposed to complete next week but now that date has vaporised and well, who knows? I guess it will happen at some point but its pissing me right off.

 

2. Work. Wankers. That is all for the moment.

[Father Ted]

1) The post office

i) Speak clear English please when you ask me things.

ii) I Do NOT want a credit card, no matter how fucking wonderful the rate is, or how I can get currency at 0% commission for my trips abroad (I havent been outside of the UK in the last 15 years and Im not about to break that habit).

 

1a) Following on from 1:i) People from Newcastle - please stop saying "so it is" in every fucking sentence.

 

2) Driveshafts

i) I think i murdered the Micra today - my long running "ignore the lacerated CV boot and just lob a bit of grease and gaffa tape at it" attitude has resulted in a siezed wheel moment today in the entrance ramp to the multistory car park. Lots of grating and screaming as I coaxed the car into a parking spot and had a look at the slightly lop sided wheel.

ii) Recovery of said car was not made any easier by the fact that the car park has a 6'6" ceiling and the first wagon that came out couldnt get in.

iii) I hope I havent damaged anything in the gearbox.

iv) Car at the fixorators now and Im looking forward to a bill that has negated the last 3 weeks worth of overtime Im sure.

v) Flaps

[Tayne]

.

[Cavcraft]

Morrisons:

 

How about getting those self service tills, making sure the fucking things never actually work properly then having some lazy, disinterested bint to tut loudly when she has to sort them out?

I still haven't forgotten the flag incident or the cockroach I found in your fresh salad either you chiselling shitehawks.

[Tayne]

.

[Father Ted]

Morrisons:

 

How about getting those self service tills, making sure the fucking things never actually work properly then having some lazy, disinterested bint to tut loudly when she has to sort them out?

+1

B&Q

Why not actually have a proper till open at 8.30am when I want to buy a tube of Evo Stick Contact adhesive to glue the caravan bed back together that I broke getting jiggy, so I dont have to wait 10 minutes for some bloke to press his dongle against the till to tell it im over 21 years of age.

[Cavcraft]

I know chief, but despite a blazing row with their two bob manager at the time Mrs C still thinks we should shop there.

[Guest]

Morrisons:

 

I still haven't forgotten the flag incident or the cockroach I found in your fresh salad either you chiselling shitehawks.

 

Flag incident?

[Albert Ross]

Fuck me MORRISONS! You would bring it up. Car park on a slope, no brakes on the trolleys, revolving door goes the wrong way round, so if you enter, you have to push past people waiting to exit, then to realise the baskets are positioned 20 feet from the entrance to the shopping hall, so you have press further into the milling throng that is trying to remove itself from the retail hell. Then, having made sense of the tiny print price stickers, that would do justice to a Specsavers advert, you head for the tills, only to find that the handbaskets till is right at THE OTHER FUCKING END OF THE CUNTING SHOP TO THE BASTARD EXIT! So if I'm only popping in for a couple of bits with a crumpled fiver, just like normal, I'M FUCKED AREN'T I? SO I grumble EVERY time I go in now, even if all I buy is a stamp or an over priced Mars bar. What wanker mentioned Morrisons then?

 

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pillock]

I hate Morrisons. Really, really hate it.

I dislike supermarkets in general, as I find I only ever go in there when I need to do some shopping, and shopping irritates me to a level I cannot describe without demonstrating with a barbie doll, a hedge trimmer, and mains voltage.

But Morrisons, well they hit nerves on so so many different levels, I'm not sure how they manage it. Firstly, the insane layout of their stores. Bored of walking up and down straight aisles? Why not make them run at jaunty angles, with little islands. So not only do you interrupt the natural flow and get people fighting against each other, but you miss bits and have to double back. As said, I despise shopping, I certainly don't want to cover ground twice!

Fish counter first. WHY? If I only want a loaf of milk or a bottle of bread or something, why must I be subjected to some grinny-faced loon and his octopus fucking tentacles assulting my nasal receptors as soon as I walk through the door?

Old people. Morrisons attracts old people. My Morrisons is worse as it's next door to the hospital, so old people actually fucking go there for a walk around to get out of the hospital. Except that makes the supermarket look like an audition for some kind of zombie film..... I swear to god next time I see someone in there in slippers and PJs reading the magazines, they'll have a reason to go to hospital.

The staff seem to resent being forced to wear a stupid uniform, and they take it out on me - the paying customer. Carrier bags - too much hassle. Being careful with delicate shopping - WAY too much hassle. Politeness - ditto.

 

I hate Morrisons.

[whitevanman]

NOW then, to try and add fairness to this. I live close to the very worst Morrisons in the universe (Hawick) the Layout in the old days was Drink first now it's all about "healthy eating" first, Mr Ross esquires shop sounds like it's been laid out by retards...................but thats Soooopermarkets for you

[retrogeezer]

Except that makes the supermarket look like an audition for some kind of zombie film

LMFAO!

 

I gotta say, coming from the south where you are lucky to even make eye contact with checkout staff, the Morrisons in Crewe is fine. It seems to be quieter than the huge ASDAR in town and the Tesco never seems to have stuff you want.

 

Yeh, the fish counter at the entrance is odd (and hardly ever seems to have anyone buying stuff from it) but they do have good offers and I've had no issues with staff.

[pogweasel]

Morrisons can have a +1 point from me, coz they were selling dizzle at £1.15 a litre in glasgow today cheapest I have seen all week so brimmed as much as I could.

 

Bastards did want £1 for some Irn Bru though.

[M'coli]

In defense of Morrison's, for the price they sell stuff at it is good. However, I'm in agreance about the store layouts, some of them are really awful.

 

Some may dissagree about the £1 needed for a trolley, but their carparks are pleasantly devoid of trolleys that you have to move/dodge to get out of the carpark, unlike several other supermarket brands.

[CortinaDave]

Morrsions is shite but it is usually cheapest for fuel - they're doing it at £1.13 a litre in Glenrothes just now.

[j-j]

+1 on morrisons (we never used to have them up here at all until 5 years ago they appeared all over the place (usually in locations previously housing the equally shite Somerfield) )

 

So you can't actually buy bananas at all there without them being either in a plastic bag or held together with a big white plastic hook thing wiv bar code. No other shop does that - what a fakkin waste of materiel, no loose bunches at all.

 

Self service check outs are OK for me in general - the ones in tesco and asda near me are seemingly the same type of unit. BUT! Morrisons in their wisdom have fitted their type that are totally different design to the familiar tesco type. And they're shit. The 'bag bit' is too far away from the screen. And the 'money in' thing is in a mad location and wants to take your hand in too.

 

Still, in their defense: there was a deal on Lindeman's Cabernet Shiraz last month that hit the spot.

 

Also, their LPG was the cheapest I could find in Glasgow for ages. Also kudos to them for being an LPG supplier!

[Richard]

Supermarkets- by cunts, for cunts. End of.

[myglaren]

There are four Morrisons around here, all about seven miles away in different directions.

 

If I happen to be near any of them I prefer them to any other supermarket. Generally better stuff, sometimes better pricing and their offers are on stuff that I would actually buy anyway.

They are generally quieter and more relaxed than their competitors, better laid out (more space between the aisles) and the staff are almost always friendly and helpful.

I don't buy their diesel though as Shell is almost always cheaper here, if not then Total.

 

As I live less than half a mile from a large Asda then that is my default shop - I get 10% discount there too

[Cavcraft]

Morrisons:

 

I still haven't forgotten the flag incident or the cockroach I found in your fresh salad either you chiselling shitehawks.

 

Flag incident?

Yeah, while back now. They were displaying the flag of a different country and when I asked why they didn't display the cross of St George the manager got a right strop on.

[Vin]

I also like Morrisons, but then anywhere that doesn't have the word TESCO outside is OK with me. Except maybe for Asda. I find there own brand stuff rubbarsh.

 

Did have an incident in Scunthorpe Morrisons, when I was with my mate who was perusing the Polish section intending to buy biscuits. Mate was snidely told by a passing shopper to 'go back home' Said mate is from Hartlepool

[Mr Lobster]

I only ever go in Morrisons to buy a sandwich as they do a nice Prawn and Egg one to which I am rather partial.

 

Asda however is a different matter. It might just be my local Asda or it might not, I'm not sure. But certainly my local Asda is filled with the dregs of humanity shuffling around, breathing on everything and spending an overly long time trying to find the cheapest, lowest quality goods possible although that itself is reasonably easy as Asda do seem to sell some utter shit.

 

Verdict : Best avoided

[Cheggers]

To any women who complain about the amount of coverage the footy world cup gets, I have four (ok, five...) words for you:

 

SEX AND THE FUCKING CITY

 

I'm sure it will be a popular movie, but does it really need to feature in every sodding TV programme, radio show and even in adverts for such random old bollocks as PC's & fishing accessories (OK, I might have made that one up).

 

If you must subject us to such a full-on assault can you please:

 

a) Set the movie 20-30 years ago, so at least there's some old cars involved

 

and/ or

 

Try to find a leading lady that looks slightly less like a horse.

 

Thank you.

[Mr H Sceptre]

To any women who complain about the amount of coverage the footy world cup gets, I have four (ok, five...) words for you:

 

SEX AND THE FUCKING CITY

 

I'm sure it will be a popular movie, but does it really need to feature in every sodding TV programme, radio show and even in adverts for such random old bollocks as PC's & fishing accessories (OK, I might have made that one up).

 

If you must subject us to such a full-on assault can you please:

 

a) Set the movie 20-30 years ago, so at least there's some old cars involved

 

and/ or

 

Try to find a leading lady that looks slightly less like a horse.

 

Thank you.

Couldnt agree more.

[Guest]

Hello Autoshite! I've just got up - let me explain why.

 

Last evening I had popped over to Vic's place. Was just into watching a DVD when at about 12:15 we heard a thud from outside. Vic went out to find three bony-fingered scum in the process of going through the 626, who then quickly scarpered. They'd done the rear quarter glass in with a brick and were clearly in the process of stealing it as they'd managed to get the cheapo Stoplock off it within the 10 seconds between there being a thud and him going outside. Then followed driving around in it until about 3am on "Scrotewatch", then knocking up a temporary quarter glass, finally set off home about 5am.

 

Due to the quick reactions, the total sum of damage is the quarter glass, which I'm already in the process of obtaining from Australia (loads there), but it doesn't make me any less angry - knowing their intentions makes me want to absolutely kill someone. All that time and effort put into that car, keeping hold of it for years, putting down quite a lot of money into making sure it was all OK and they just wanted to take it - we suspect most likely for a ram-raid or similar, they seemed to know what they were doing in terms of getting the lock off etc. and on his street there were a couple of cars which would have been much easier to steal (but smaller), plus scrap metal isn't completely sky-high at the moment. I'd only been parked up there an hour or so, so it was complete opportunity really.

 

The whole thing is a fucking insult - 12:15 outside some houses (mostly with their lights on), thinking they'd just be able to take it, like it could become theirs in a few minutes. I've saved the brick as I'm sure it'll come in, but now I've got to spend today messing around, probably buy one of those enormous Disclocks just to make sure we can keep what actually belongs to us. I hate having to live my life around the whims of these people - taking care where I park something, not drawing too much attention to my car, all because some little arsehole thinks they can just take things. Neither of us will be able to relax quite as much when we park something there now and that's the kicker really.

 

It's not going to stop me though - it'll get the quarterglass and be back to as it was in no time, I'm still buying old cars and parking them there, you can't totally alter your lives because of scum, you've just got to keep pressing on!

[Lankytim]

Hey bad luck Hirst, try not to take it personally. I think car related vandalism/theft happens to all of us atleast once. Top work getting outside before they could do any more damage or steal the car. I have a few disclocks for my fleet of shite and they really do do the trick. One look and any budding car thief quickly finds an easier target. You can get em off ebay for £15-20 or so.

[Guest]

Yeah, being paranoid has its upshots, could have just ignored the thud as someone putting their bins out and look where that would have left us. As-is, we're looking at a little bit of glass (which looks very easy to fit according to the Haynes book), not even an ignition barrel or anything, let alone a whole car.

 

The "funny" thing is that I'd booked today off work in an effort to relax a bit after a particularly lousy week of work, now I'll just be spending all day vacuuming up glass and not being able to think straight. Won't even want to leave the car anywhere until a temporary perspex replacement is made, so I'll just spend most of it sat at home annoyed instead.

[Station]

There's more chance of me qualifying for a front row place on the BTCC grid. In my Amazon.