Jump to content

eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
in AutoShite

 Share

Recommended Posts

Felly Magic Rank: Isuzu Florian

Felly Magic

Posted
Posted

Correctly cylindered Daimler saloon, BUT, it is for sale in WANKER, by a WANKER, and carries a LINCOLNSHIRE registration, VERDICT RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can hear Junkman screaming already. Note leaping tabby on the bonnet when it is a FUCKING DAIMLER!

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1990-G-DAIMLER-DOUBLE-SIX-GENTLEMENS-SALOON/332815725762?_trkparms=aid%3D888007%26algo%3DDISC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20140328180637%26meid%3D2d1eddd843cc4c0286d6a805f2651f4f%26pid%3D100009%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D1%26sd%3D153323495688%26itm%3D332815725762&_trksid=p2047675.c100009.m1982

 

s-l1600.jpg

Felly Magic Rank: Isuzu Florian

Felly Magic

Posted
Posted

DO NOT WASH!

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/DAIMLER-CONQUEST-2-5-1953-RESTORATION-PROJECT/153291208880?_trkparms=aid%3D888007%26algo%3DDISC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20140328180637%26meid%3D9b2dcf601d2442e09fd2a0b56ef9320a%26pid%3D100009%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D1%26sd%3D332815725762%26itm%3D153291208880&_trksid=p2047675.c100009.m1982

 

s-l1600.jpg

NorfolkNWeigh Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

NorfolkNWeigh

Posted
Posted

hqdefault.jpg

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Cherry-picker-Leyland-bmc/192776137001?hash=item2ce25a6929:g:uN4AAOSw651cKj2O

 

'WAS OWNED BY INVERNESS COUNCIL'

 

'Item location: Hexham'

 

'IT STILL DRIVES.'

 

I'm not surprised, it's probably only just got there.

In 1987, me and a mate bought a Thrupenny Bit tipper from an auction for about £100. We loaded it up witha load of old tyres and general shit from a unit we'd just taken on.

The plan was to dispose* of it on a building site, of which there were many in Milton Keynes at the time. Anyway my mate trundles off one night ,after identifying a place near to his house.

 

Next day he calls me to pick him up on the way to the unit.

" Where's the tipper?" Is my first question, swiftly followed by " How did you get that black eye?"

 

He directed me a mile or so down the road and the Thrupenny Bit is sitting with all its Windows sashed in a gateway.

Apparently a security bloke spotted him fly tipping , gave chase and jumped on the back , clouting my mate with his torch, there was a tussle, the security guy fell off and he drove off and dumped the truck.

As you can imagine, I was pissing myself laughing by now, but what finished me off was when he said

" I thought I'd got away , I was flat out in 3rd when the fucker caught up with me and jumped on the back"

"what was he driving?" I asked " Nothing, he could just run faster than that piece of shit could go" was the reply.

We left it there for a week, then when it was obvious the Police weren't interested , picked it up and sold it.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Norman Wisdom on the wheel arch line

The Rat Pack crossed with Last of The Summer Wine 

A pack of wonky dogs having a race

whoever sprayed this must have been off his face

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

Lynn From Alan Partridge trying to warn Terry Wogan again

that Charlie Chapin's going to kill him with a runaway train

and Thelma from The Likely Lads gets carried away by a crow

sent down from the Pearly Gates to below

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2012-Mercedes-Benz-Vito-Camper-Van-6-seat-Belts-End-Kitchen-Rear-Lounge-For-Sale/352506245959?hash=item5213027347:g:otsAAOSwm-Fb3azC:rk:30:pf:0

spike60 Rank: Renault 16

spike60

Posted
Posted

This has caught my eye, ('cos it looks new and comy).

 

attachicon.gifimage.jpeg

 

I was expecting to see straight six under the bonnet. Do these engines dissolve in supermarket petrol? Are these the ones with rotting petrol tanks?

 

attachicon.gifimage.jpeg

 

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201812193375691

I would imagine if the engine hasn't dissolved yet it probably isn't going to anytime soon. I had a 1993 540i for about 10 years with no nickasil(?) problems, I think mainly a west coast USA thing.

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1955-Chevrolet-Task-Force-3600/143073633865

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

Solid bodywork although some welding is needed.

 

It can either be solid, or some welding is needed. Both at the same time is impossible.

 

 

 

Engine not running but it's all there. No starter or plug leads.

 

It can either be all there, or the starter and plug leads are missing. Both at the same time is impossible.

 

 

Gosh, some people should fucking READ the horseshit they write, for God's sake!

busmansholiday Rank: Lancia Gamma

busmansholiday

Posted
Posted

 

Norman Wisdom on the wheel arch line

The Rat Pack crossed with Last of The Summer Wine

A pack of wonky dogs having a race

whoever sprayed this must have been off his face

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

 

Lynn From Alan Partridge trying to warn Terry Wogan again

that Charlie Chapin's going to kill him with a runaway train

and Thelma from The Likely Lads gets carried away by a crow

sent down from the Pearly Gates to below

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2012-Mercedes-Benz-Vito-Camper-Van-6-seat-Belts-End-Kitchen-Rear-Lounge-For-Sale/352506245959?hash=item5213027347:g:otsAAOSwm-Fb3azC:rk:30:pf:0

That's been for sale for a bit. I used to see it most Sundays parked in a drive of a house near me.

bangernomics Rank: Isuzu Florian

bangernomics

Posted
Posted

Great book and back brace is in the boot ready.

Fumbler Rank: Lancia Gamma

Fumbler

Posted
Posted

Looks like something Walter White's lost UK cousin would use.

anonymous user Rank: Isuzu Florian

anonymous user

Posted
Posted

Are you guys thinking what I am thinking?

I doubt it, unless you were thinking about creosote as well

  • SpareSnare and Aston Martin
  • Like 2
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

It's actually a shame that didn't collapse like a deck of cards

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Austin-mini-1-3i-spares-or-repair/323629838912?hash=item4b59d77240:g:M3YAAOSwvGZcKmui

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

Look at those fucking arches! Need a sledgehammer taking to them.

  • Squire_Dawson, Aston Martin and mercrocker
  • Like 3
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Can't make your mind up if you want an early or later Chevette? Buy both at the same time with this punched-in-the-eye special

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vauxhall-Chevette-spare-and-repairs/264111914957?hash=item3d7e4bffcd:g:TuAAAOSwjkZcKmWn

  • Burnside, mercrocker and Squire_Dawson
  • Like 3
Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

I doubt it, unless you were thinking about creosote as well

 

Not sure whether I understand what you are trying to say.

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

p01bqgb0.jpg

 

Buy a Talbot Express then your life's in a mess
It won't make you smile

All human life has 'been' here
From the incontinent old dear to the shitting child

 

s-l1600.jpg
 

 

From the husband who knows that to buy one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
who's pan handle won't work for paternity
And everybody sings 'ca a a a amera'
We're going to emulsion the photos for free

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

Oh the Talbot Express it's a fucking big mess
like a dog shit butty 
Hope there's enough in the tank, for a J Arthur Rank
Coz you'll not get fanny
Wet wipes are on hand as you play with your gland

By the back window (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
But it's hard to get up when you promised your wife
a pearl necklace

by the back window
 (ba ba ba ba)
 

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

When you're divorced and feeling blue
With nothing better to do
Don't just sit there feeling stressed
Sellotape your Talbot Express

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

Ooh, it's a Talbot Express

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

THE TALBOT EXPRESS

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Talbot-Express-1000P-2L-Petrol/183612047493?hash=item2ac0218085:g:ox8AAOSw8TJcKOLq:rk:8:pf:0

Mr_Bo11ox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Mr_Bo11ox

Posted
Posted

Just racking my brains trying to think if I have ever seen anything quite as shit as this:

 

s-l1600.jpg

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/VW-Splitscreen-T2-Splittie-Kids-Childrens-Playhouse-Trailer-Barbecue-Bar-Shed/143067295602

 

What even is it?

 

 

 
Obviously you are bidding not on a genuine steel vw splitscreen but a wooden 3/4 size version.

 

OK cheers for that! Good job you said as I was planning to drive it away.

 

Ace keyword spamming too:

 

 

Man/Toy/Child/Adult/Garden/Garage/Golf/T1/T3/Beetle/Van

 

 

sensible reserve set at a lower price than £1000

 

Hope its £1500 lower than that.

 

WHAT A TOTAL PILE OF USELESS SHIT, YOU SHOULD BE IN A SECURE UNIT M8

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...