Jump to content

eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
in AutoShite

 Share

Recommended Posts

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Some basic man maths: Take a £500 motorbike, make it look £300 worse and try and sell it for £1,400. Don't forget to describe it as 'a stunning classic which has had a lot of work done to bring it back to mint condition' because nobody will notice the rusty fuel tank, rusty handlebars, rusty indicator stems, lacquer peeled engine casings and stupidly fucking awful seat. 

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Honda-CG-125-1976-Retro-classic-cafe-racer-custom-leaner-legal-motor-/162156684727?hash=item25c14aa5b7:g:YWYAAOSwbsBXlc9O

 

s-l1600.jpg

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

'You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those who play with loaded spray guns, and those who really fucking shouldn't. You dig'

 

'Stupid & Co'

 

ANYTHING at all?

 

(FFS, Dave, it's that fruitcake again) Yes, ANYTHING at all

 

'Ok, I'd like a bearded, constipated Van Morrison facing Elvis Presley before he had the operation to remove his cunt ear. Maybe have the Bee-Gees in the background and an elephant with some rope coming out of it's arse for good measure'

 

No problems, ace, it'll be ready Tuesday... 

.

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2011-61-59000-miles-Nissan-Navara-2-5dCi-Tekna-AIR-BRUSHED-TAILGATE-/322192130415?hash=item4b0425c16f:g:pAcAAOSwygJXh4qD

 

s-l1600.jpg

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Business idea: Got to Hobbycraft, buy £250's worth of shit and a load of glue. Take a picture of Laurence Llewelyn Bowen's undercrakers, be 'inspired' by some wankshaft magazine feature and BINGO!

 

'Oh, hooray. Good old Aunt Mable has left us ten grand in her will. Shall we buy a timeshare in Spain, get an extension on the house or replace our worn out Ford Focus? I know! We'll spent the whole lot on this big glorified fibreglass shitbox. I'm completely and utterly entranced by the tie back curtains and kitsch table and wineglasses and have thus overlooked the glued on trailer board and stupid green paint.'

 

Said no fucker, ever.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vintage-1963-Thomson-Glendale-Retro-Caravan-Stunning-Unique-Restoration-/322208307800?hash=item4b051c9a58:g:YqAAAOSwTZ1Xmf2U

 

 

 

s-l1600.jpg

MarvinsMom Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

MarvinsMom

Posted
Posted

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ROVER-MAESTRO-CLUBMAN-D-BLUE-/302032669289?hash=item46528cca69:g:CgoAAOSwhOdXo2rl

 

want to be the winner of the office car park?

 

want to stand out in a sea of leased/hpi'd/company car aldis?

 

want to be the envy of your work mates?

 

then sir, step this way....

 

you need this gem in your life.

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

and the money shot, turbo charged too....(apparently)s-l1600.jpg

NorfolkNWeigh Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

NorfolkNWeigh

Posted
Posted

Want a Thema that's faster than the 8.32 that Cort posted earlier in the week. Don't want to pay £5,000 to change the belts on 1990's Italian quality* car?

Want to be able to sell the engine to a 'grale owner, when it inevitably dissolves ?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1989-LANCIA-THEMA-IE-TURBO-DELTA-INTEGRALE-ENGINE-/162157787508?hash=item25c15b7974:g:8WsAAOSwtnpXnZa0post-17414-0-77617000-1470343186_thumb.jpeg

  • Aston Martin, Junkman and anonymous user
  • Like 3
Skizzer Rank: Isuzu Florian

Skizzer

Posted
Posted

I quite like the idea of that Unimog as a camper base, but some genius* has replaced the entire wiring loom with blue 5amp cable for added shits'n'giggles.

 

post-4091-0-90518500-1470344203_thumb.png

NorfolkNWeigh Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

NorfolkNWeigh

Posted
Posted
One of these Group Wank Rallies must have just finished , there's about ten hilariously * modified shit heaps on eBay and Gumtree at the moment, I know 6 door Jags,Volvos etc have no use after the funeral trade, but I'd rather they went straight to the oval.
  • Semi-C, Junkman and mercrocker
  • Like 3
spartacus Rank: Renault 16

spartacus

Posted
Posted

I just read the description. On the second lot of redish coloured writing there's what looks like the text version of a picture taken up a skirt, or at least it looks that way to me...

  • AMC Rebel and rml2345
  • Like 2
AMC Rebel Rank: Renault 16

AMC Rebel

Posted
Posted

Business idea: Got to Hobbycraft, buy £250's worth of shit and a load of glue. Take a picture of Laurence Llewelyn Bowen's undercrakers, be 'inspired' by some wankshaft magazine feature and BINGO!

 

'Oh, hooray. Good old Aunt Mable has left us ten grand in her will. Shall we buy a timeshare in Spain, get an extension on the house or replace our worn out Ford Focus? I know! We'll spent the whole lot on this big glorified fibreglass shitbox. I'm completely and utterly entranced by the tie back curtains and kitsch table and wineglasses and have thus overlooked the glued on trailer board and stupid green paint.'

 

Said no fucker, ever.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vintage-1963-Thomson-Glendale-Retro-Caravan-Stunning-Unique-Restoration-/322208307800?hash=item4b051c9a58:g:YqAAAOSwTZ1Xmf2U

 

Arrrghhh!!!

 

 

post-20411-0-56626900-1470350816_thumb.jpg

  • Laseraligningfoofooflanges
  • Like 1
AMC Rebel Rank: Renault 16

AMC Rebel

Posted
Posted

'You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those who play with loaded spray guns, and those who really fucking shouldn't. You dig'

 

'Stupid & Co'

 

ANYTHING at all?

 

(FFS, Dave, it's that fruitcake again) Yes, ANYTHING at all

 

'Ok, I'd like a bearded, constipated Van Morrison facing Elvis Presley before he had the operation to remove his cunt ear. Maybe have the Bee-Gees in the background and an elephant with some rope coming out of it's arse for good measure'

 

No problems, ace, it'll be ready Tuesday... 

.

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2011-61-59000-miles-Nissan-Navara-2-5dCi-Tekna-AIR-BRUSHED-TAILGATE-/322192130415?hash=item4b0425c16f:g:pAcAAOSwygJXh4qD

 

 

 

That made me laugh out loud, repeatedly.

 

From the Ad -

 

 

the previous owner commissioned an artist called (Stevie Wonder) to depicted a seen from( The good, The bad and the ugly, i think), 

 

 

No it was the ugly, the badly painted and the ugly.

 

 

 it would be a terrible shame to over paint this work,

 

 

Not really

AMC Rebel Rank: Renault 16

AMC Rebel

Posted
Posted

I quite like the idea of that Unimog as a camper base, but some genius* has replaced the entire wiring loom with blue 5amp cable for added shits'n'giggles.

 

attachicon.gifimage.png

Will make troubleshooting any electrical ishoos a piece o piss (not that there will be any with such an expert job of course).

MarvinsMom Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

MarvinsMom

Posted
Posted

a £1000 for a leguna!

 

no wonder you needed to go and have another look.

 

the robbin' twats have missed out the decimal point!!

Conrad D. Conelrad Rank: Lancia Gamma

Conrad D. Conelrad

Posted
Posted

But not for this one:

 

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR THE REGISTRATION NUMBER WE WILL NOT 

GIVE IT OUT.  WE HAD A REGISTRATION NUMBER TAKEN OFF A CAR 

WE WERE ADVERTISING AND IT WAS USED IN A CRIME - WE WERE 

WOKEN BY THE POLICE.

 

s-l800.jpg

 

Yes, that photo is from the listing. 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MG-MIDGET-NEEDS-NO-WELDING-/162152611407

  • nacho man, Aston Martin, anonymous user and 2 others
  • Like 5
AMC Rebel Rank: Renault 16

AMC Rebel

Posted
Posted

Some basic man maths: Take a £500 motorbike, make it look £300 worse and try and sell it for £1,400. Don't forget to describe it as 'a stunning classic which has had a lot of work done to bring it back to mint condition' because nobody will notice the rusty fuel tank, rusty handlebars, rusty indicator stems, lacquer peeled engine casings and stupidly fucking awful seat.

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Honda-CG-125-1976-Retro-classic-cafe-racer-custom-leaner-legal-motor-/162156684727?hash=item25c14aa5b7:g:YWYAAOSwbsBXlc9O

 

s-l1600.jpg

Also since when did a cafe racer NOT have ANY of -

 

Tiny fairing

Lie down seating - usually single seat

Footpegs moved back

Tuning/handing bits

 

but i have passed my bike test and perchust a new 600 cc bike

  • Jerzy Woking and For Fiats Sake
  • Like 2

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...