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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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shedvan Rank: Austin Maxi

shedvan

Posted
Posted

 

24k 1-owner Micra K10 - £180 so far. Ideal negative-cred driving deterrent for young adults.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Nissan-Micra- ... 2577502007

 

$(KGrHqJ,!q4F!-hRHibwBQj8qjvJ,g~~60_12.JPG

 

31k 2-owner Polo breadvan, £695 BIN! Looks a proper pant-stretcher, though the "Doctor lite" backstory is a bit irksome. Our survey says: VWILF.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1985-B-VW-VOL ... 2c696eadc7

 

The VW is claimed to averaging 45mpg, I call horse-shit

KruJoe Rank: Lancia Gamma

KruJoe

Posted
Posted

Check out this cock gurgler...

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/300806756309

Ah fuggin blow it out yo ass then

I sent him this:

 

Dear sjr1988,

... terms and conditions ...

... is this such a hopeless heap that you don't want to comment on its condition?

This car is sold as it states - SPARES OR REPAIRS. The car was driven to us as a part-ex. I would rather bidders came and viewed the car before the bidding finishes to make their own mind up. If your unsure please dont bid.

 

He hasn't posted my Q&A on the listing, so allow me:

Dear sjr1988,

... your item description doesn't describe your item. At all. Any chance you could update the listing? It might help attract some more bids... Thanks. Joe

Dear joe,

Car was driven into us as a part-ex.

We dont wish to retail the car.

Sold as Spares or Repairs

So, do we now believe the car isn't for sale at all?

Verdict: Knuckle-dragger.

meggersdog Rank: Renault 16

meggersdog

Posted
Posted

The knuckle dragging cock gurgler has very helpfully revised his listing

dear autoshite

THE CAR WAS DRIVEN INTO US AS A PART-EX

 

POSSIBLE HEADGASKET OR CRACKED HEAD

willswitchengage Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

willswitchengage

Posted
Posted

Best part of a year's MOT. Anybody feeling brave?

 

$(KGrHqN,!k8FBmuFecDDBQdvzVC6+w~~60_12.JPG

 

THE REAR SUSPENSION DROPS WHEN ENGINE STOPS,BUT RISES OK WHEN ENGINE STARTS.6.SMALL HYDRAULIC LEAK FROM HIGH PRESSURE PUMP.

 

I HAVE NOT REPLACED THE TIMING BELT AND NOT SURE WHEN IT WAS LAST DONE.NO SERVICE HISTORY AVAILABLE

Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted

Clearly the seller of that car who won't actually describe it is hoping 1) people think it must be a potential bargain as others won't want to bid thus loads of people do end up bidding or (most likely) 2) he hopes that by putting no description at all that when the highest bidder discovers it absolutely and utterly shagged that they won't get anywhere if they try to screw him in court as he'll just point out there was no description, therefore he hasn't actually lied about it.

dollywobbler Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

dollywobbler

Posted
Posted

That BX is a nice, early turbo diesel. Rear end dropping isn't too much to worry about. Some do that. Those wheeltrims are rather grim though!

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/300806756309

 

Check out this cock gurgler, several paragraphs of terms and conditions, absolutely no information about the car at all. I asked him to fuggin give us a clue:

 

Q: Hi there, would ti be possible to have a little information about the condition of the car? i.e. is it running and driving, any obvious mechanical problems? Any lights on on the dashboard? I realise its sold for spares or repair with no guarantee of course but some basic blurb would be most helpful. Thanks a lot, Richard

A: Richard please read what has been written in the advert. Viewings welcome, if your not sure please dont bid.

 

Ah fuggin blow it out yo ass then

 

I sent him this:

 

Dear sjr1988,

 

I'm with Richard here. There is a lot of bla bla jadda jadda re. the terms

and conditions of sale, but you don't describe the car with one word. Is it

running? Are there any known faults? I.e. is it worth my while to drive all

the way down to have a look? Or is this such a hopeless heap that you don't

want to comment on its condition? Cheers, Chris

 

The answer:

 

This car is sold as it states - SPARES OR REPAIRS. The car was driven to us

as a part-ex.

 

I would rather bidders came and viewed the car before the

bidding finishes to make their own mind up.

 

If your unsure please dont

bid.

 

Car will be sold to the highest bidder.

 

What a tard.

philibusmo Rank: Renault 16

philibusmo

Posted
Posted
misery%20spec%20Escrote

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ford-Escort-1 ... 1019287564

 

'Finesse' LOL

 

To be fair it looks pretty decent.

 

CAN I ADD THAT THIS IS NOT A FINESSE AS STATED IT IN FACT A POPULAR! IF ANYBODY WISHES TO WITHDRAW THERE BIDS BASED ON THIS INFORMATION THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO?

 

not a Finesse? In that case you can batter yourself in the bollocks with a cactus. I ain't driving no stinking popular. Only a Finesse will do for a connoisseur such as myself.

 

EDIT to remove picture before Billy asplodes.

Mr_Bo11ox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Mr_Bo11ox

Posted
Posted

$T2eC16RHJIIE9qTYKC6EBQWNgCcqY!~~60_58.JPG

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/AUSTIN-METRO- ... 1098470888

 

Nice Metro with WTF number plate (BEEN VALUED AT £40000000000000), but the seller insists on using a capital letter when describing his son which makes it sound like he's talking about the fuggin messiah

 

after close inspection it turned out He had purchased one of the few remaining solid metros left
Mike D Rank: Citroen Ami

Mike D

Posted
Posted

SCRIVENS!!!!! That Luce is absolutely gorgeous! Ahh to have a spare 17K! 8)

skattrd Rank: Lancia Gamma

skattrd

Posted
Posted

If I win the lottery this week the first thing I'm buying is that Cosmo

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

This doesn't look bad for 400 quid. I'd say hidden suspension damage is almost gaurenteed as it looks like it took out a postbox.

157840422.jpg

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/2002-ford-mondeo-25-v6-first-400-takes-it/112999759

 

STARTS AND DRIVES OK BESIDES PULLING TO ONE SIDE NEEDS TRACKING DONE BADLY

 

If by tracking you mean a suspension arm bent massively out of shape by you scudding a postbox then I'd agree.

 

This poor old thing looks hopeless

It's only 300 quid but it's got HGF and the owner admits

The bodywork is not great as the original owner was a 90 year old man with cataracts so pretty much every corner is scuffed
. I bet his phone's red hot tonight.

 

$(KGrHqRHJE0FB5SHlJU7BQkqrnzw+g~~48_80.JPG

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/2002-rover-45-hgf-42000miles-owned-from-new/1002438048#gallery-item-full-2

skattrd Rank: Lancia Gamma

skattrd

Posted
Posted

I reckon this would make a fab winter hack, not a huge amount of MOT and no mention of tax, but I reckon it's easily worth £750

 

3227513.jpg

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

I wonder if you could cobble together a Rover 600 coupe from one of these?

$(KGrHqJHJFMF!OFKG(kZBQmPSoguMw~~48_80.JPG

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/1995-honda-accord-coupetaxedmotd/1002672704

 

£450 quid for a Miller engined super charged Xedos 9 with T&T

 

http://www.gumtree.com/p/cars-vans-motorbikes/stunning-flagship-mazda-xedos-9-supercharged/112991452

 

You have to give it to Mazda for not being afraid to go with bat shit engines.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller_cycle

rml2345 Rank: Renault 16

rml2345

Posted
Posted
The last Lynx?

 

Thought I recognised that thing! It belonged to Andy cms206 what appears around here. I wonder if it still overfuels like a bastard...

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