Stereotype's Smol Shite

22,045 · January 27, 2019

Sounds plausible. The forum bike Prelude I brought in had an isolator switch in its 'glovebox'.

4,150 · January 27, 2019

Great work on the door handle!

January 31, 2019

Current state of Wilder/Gravy/whatever the kids decided on/Xantia. I've been liking this car a lot. It's comfortable, easy, fun. Not today, though. Here's the story of a betrayal, a hope, and my army of highvis heroes.

I came out of College, the first two subjects had drained me. Thermofluids and Transducers? Sod that, I was in a bad mood already and I wanted a box of 20 McNuggets. Alone, I journeyed long and hard on the Kingsway to Camperdown Macdonalds, I got said box of 20 McNuggets, I devoured them. I felt a sense of satisfaction and achievement. The day was on an up hill climb.

I didn't want to take the Kingsway route back to college because, let's face it, who would want to, it's dreadful. I took the liberty of a one hour lunch break to see the city. After my decidedly average detour, I needed to cross the Kingsway to get to the College campus. Now we play a game of Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road. Right as I was about to join a roundabout to cross the Kingsway into the College carpark, "CRUNCH!"

My heart rate elevated, my smart watch told me so. I began rolling closer to the line of traffic, they were oblivious to my plight. I slammed my feet down onto the clutch and footbrake, the car groaned.

My left foot effortlessly sank to the floor.

I tried the handbrake again, we had just kind of / not really / almost fixed it, it should hold. I involuntarily crept forward into traffic.

Hazards. Check.

Sidelights. Check.

Consult Father Tickman. In progress.

I phoned dad, "the clutch is gone, the handbrake is gone, I'm on a roundabout, on a hill, with my foot on the brake. Phone Autoaid? Phone the Police? What do?"

"Can you move?" The urgency in his voice was clear. He wasn't expecting this phone call.

AutoAid was consulted. Ninewells Recovery and a call to 999 was prescribed.

Roll on an hour of BLIND FUCKING IDIOTS who are TOO FUCKING DUMB to notice that my car is OFF the hazards are ON and I'm WAVING AT YOU TO GO AROUND ME.

Eventually, like angels through blue lights, the Police arrived. Like a magician, he stopped traffic, stopped time, even. I took my foot off the brake.

Like some kind of action hero, he pushed the car and we were moving. Straight through the roundabout, down the hill, hard left. To the carpark (we took a disabled spot, if you don't agree with this, please try and move my car).

The recovery truck arrived, and the police, canteen fodder in hand, left.

A bitchy lady had the nerve to ask how long it was going to be. The recovery angel said an hour, roughly. I added, "maybe more, I was stuck for a good hour and a half." She threw her sandwich at us, I somehow caught it. I felt my hangry, passive aggressive mood kick in, so I ate it while she swore at us from her car. Was hilarious.

Not even two minutes later we were off, five minutes later and we were backing into my street, ten minutes later the car is "parked," and I'm home with the kettle just boiled.

So why did the chicken cross the road? McNuggets. Blame the McNuggets.

If anyone needs worth it, amazing, beautiful service breakdown cover, go with AutoAid.

"Parked"

Diagnostics will follow.

26,138 · January 31, 2019

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like the clip for the clutch cable has given up the ghost..

You'll need to watch the car doesnt "sink" down onto those rocks - it'll drop the suspension if the engine is not running.

If you start it, it'll rise back up and stay up for a while.

January 31, 2019

You'll need to watch the car doesnt "sink" down onto those rocks - it'll drop the suspension if the engine is not running.

Like it was sinking properly anyway

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk

2,074 · January 31, 2019

Well done on catching the sandwich! That lady sounded like a total moron, your a better person than me as I would have mouthed off at her. Which in truth doesn't achieve anything other than making you more pissed off.

My brother Ford Focus starter motor went the other day leaving him stranded on a Petrol Station forecourt. He'd only being saying how great the car has been the last 18 mths the night before.

Luckly a passing Builder helped him out by tapping the starter motor to free it off for him. Shame by then I driven 20 miles over in the Van to help but nice know there still some decent folk out there.

I hope it's a quick / cheap fix on the Xantia look's a decent motor otherwise.

January 31, 2019

Progress update:

Father Tickman on the job.

Suspicion was that the clutch cable either snapped or pulled off the pedal.

Found it! The cable fell off the pedal. Clutch still intact!

Connected at this end. Thank god

Seat out of the way. Dad has reached comfort level "more than usual"

Trying to find where the end went once it had evacuated the footwell.

"FUUUUUUCK WHERE IS IT." - Tickman 31/01/19

A new tool to patent! Called the monkey! Taking orders

It worked! Seating position on point. This required a high five.

Seat back in!

January 31, 2019

Well done on catching the sandwich! That lady sounded like a total moron, your a better person than me as I would have mouthed off at her. Which in truth doesn't achieve anything other than making you more pissed off.

My brother Ford Focus starter motor went the other day leaving him stranded on a Petrol Station forecourt. He'd only being saying how great the car been the last 18 mths the night before.

Luckly a passing Builder helped him out by tapping the starter motor to free it off for him. Shame by then I driven 20 miles over in the Van to help but nice know there still some decent folk out there.

I hope it's a quick / cheap fix on the Xantia look's a decent motor otherwise.

Sandwich was still in packaging too! Was a good save, I'll never catch anything ever again. I was close to mouthing off but then there was food and my priorities are always swayed in favour of food...

There were a few people who wound the windows down and asked if I was alright, bless those people! But there was a woman in a Megane who pulled too close to behind my stranded self and couldn't move for a good minute and a half of people zooming past her. There were horns and swearwords involved. I was laughing hysterically by the end of it until she knocked my mirror with her's and I put mine back and she couldn't.

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk

26,138 · January 31, 2019

Excellent stuff!

Surprised to see him contort himself into such positions without a welding torch in hand!

January 31, 2019

Progress update:

Father Tickman on the job.

Suspicion was that the clutch cable either snapped or pulled off the pedal.

Found it! The cable fell off the pedal. Clutch still intact!

Connected at this end. Thank god

Seat out of the way. Dad has reached comfort level "more than usual"

Trying to find where the end went once it had evacuated the footwell.

"FUUUUUUCK WHERE IS IT." - Tickman 31/01/19

A new tool to patent! Called the monkey! Taking orders

It worked! Seating position on point. This required a high five.

Seat back in!

Post edited with text this time because FUCK TAPATALK

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk

2,550 · January 31, 2019

Who needs yoga when you've got a broken Citroen to do weird stretches in! Glad it* got sorted ok

*Bobby/Gravy/Wilder. Or Titanic since its unsinkable?

29,943 · January 31, 2019

Excellent account of a less than excellent situation.

10,198 · January 31, 2019

Another question regards Wilder.

Is this the correct level or too high?

Just wanted to know if the height of fluid affects the performance of the suspension controls.

19,517 · February 1, 2019

With it running it should be at the top mark I think.

And damn those nuggets...

10,198 · February 3, 2019

Laquer Peel asked someone in the know about the handbrake mechanism and relayed the information to me. Thank you for that.

With this information we (Chuck and I) took Wilder (the Xantia) up to the workshop today to investigate.

The handbrake mechanism at the caliper has a dust cover over it which is held in place with a cable tie.

Passenger side first.

Cable tie cut and cover peeled back.

This is the best photo of that side but they were both in the same condition.

Drivers side. Grim.

This should be nice and clean as well as full of grease.

They were both cleaned up and plenty of penetrating fluid was used while they were exercised.

Grease was stuffed in and the covers put back in place and a cable tie added.

You can also see the extra cable tie added to stop the cable jumping out of the slot until they free up a bit more.

This is actually holding the car!

The clutch cable is being a pain in the arse changing length, I think we need to put a lock nut on the end of the cable.

It does drive nice though...

26,138 · February 3, 2019

Good progress:)

19,781 · February 3, 2019

Bugger about the clutch cable, I think it'll keep popping off til it gets a new clutch.

I'm glad you could fix the handbrake without resorting to £££ calipers.

4,070 · February 4, 2019

Great to see this getting some love, and I'm sorry to hear about the FTP. It does drive nicely

10,620 · February 4, 2019

Another question regards Wilder.
Is this the correct level or too high?

IMG_20190131_160253954.jpg

Just wanted to know if the height of fluid affects the performance of the suspension controls.

To check the level, put the the car on maximum height using the control between the seats.When the height has settled the orange disc should be between the two red lines.The stop light will come on before the level is low enough to affect the suspension.

10,198 · February 27, 2019

A tyre, drop link and more handbrake tinkering gives a result of this.

Orange indicator bulbs are not quite orange enough so they will be done also.

There is a little leak of LHM from the height adjuster valve at the rear of the car which needs sorted but luckily I cleaned this up before it was seen by the tester.

With quite a bit of time and a good service this might help it along too.

The handbrake mechanism I think needs stripped and rebuilt properly so we will look into that as well.

March 31, 2019

...

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19,517 · March 31, 2019

Who needs an estate

10,198 · March 31, 2019

There are two vehicles in that picture and both were not working at that point.

26,138 · March 31, 2019

That there is " Daein it right"

I'll go for "that £*ing clip for the clutch cable" as reason for the green ones ftp

March 31, 2019

That there is " Daein it right"

I'll go for "that £*ing clip for the clutch cable" as reason for the green ones ftp

Tying a bike in with a shoelace is doing it right

Yes the clutch cable and pedal had a falling out again, FFS!

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk

10,198 · April 1, 2019

Tying a bike in with a shoelace is doing it right
Yes the clutch cable and pedal had a falling out again, FFS!

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You forgot to mention that you fixed it at the side of the road without a tool kit!

April 1, 2019

You forgot to mention that you fixed it at the side of the road without a tool kit!

I used the bar from the big piercing jewelry in my ear to put the plastic back in

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55,216 · April 1, 2019

I used the bar from the big piercing jewelry in my ear to put the plastic back in
Tapatalk

Part human. Part machine. All fixy.

26,138 · April 1, 2019

Henceforth known as "Teh Borg"

April 1, 2019

Henceforth known as "Teh Borg"

Where do I apply to change my handle

Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk

Stereotype's Smol Shite

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