What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[strangeangel]

Coming back from Wickes this morning I happen across a chav on a moped, in the standard attire of moto-X helmet and three stripes - riding even more erratically than you'd expect from one of these. As I pass him I notice that he's texting. I mutter a few obscenities under my breath and carry on.

 

Seconds later he comes whizzing past on my inside    He compounds his cretinous behaviour by making a complete balls of this manouevre; almost hitting the car in front of me straight up the chuff. He thinks about going round the car but sees the traffic island he's about to hit, anchors up and swerves, dropping his phone in the process. Shitferbrains looks round, only to see it squashed flat by the front wheel of my much heavier scooter. Oops!

[Cavcraft]

is that in a phone booth?  An actual honest to goodness phone booth?  

 

Smackhead business centre.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The fact none of you think that book advert is weird as hell explains why there's so many weird as hell adverts taped to lamp-posts and the community message board in the Co-op. 

[Cheggers]

The fact none of you think that book advert is weird as hell explains why there's so many weird as hell adverts taped to lamp-posts and the community message board in the Co-op.

I'm wondering if it's a coded message of some kind...Doggers or druggies maybe?

[62 Austin]

Somebody died, so not really a grin. Do not try to weld a fuel tank, especially if it is a very big fuel tank that you have to climb a ladder to get to the top. the explosion was heard for miles. Very few details yet,  it only happened a few hours ago so details are sketchy, including what was actually in the tank.

 

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11513378

There was a warning I saw about doing things they suggest on car fix-up shows. One item was about how to evacuate gas in a gas tank you're going to repair. The TV host said use a vacuum cleaner or a shopvac to get rid of the leftover fuel. I saw a clip from the show, and he just said to do it, instead of giving a demonstration. It was pointed out in the warning that a vacuum cleaner works by a spinning armature rotating around a charged shaft, emitting thousands of sparks, so the vacuum would be a real fire threat if you got it anywhere near fuel. Also not a grin, but it's a safety hazard I never really thought of before.

[steve_earwig]

I remember when I was a lad watching my dad use a vacuum cleaner to clean all the loose rust from around the fuel lever sender on an Alpine. Imagine our surprise when the vacuum cleaner went bang, blowing the filter cover off. Lesson learned, it could have very easily been a lot worse too.

[cobblers]

Seems like David Cameron supposedly stuck his cock in a dead pigs mouth. Haha.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Seems like David Cameron supposedly stuck his cock in a dead pigs mouth. Haha.

Don't talk about his wife like that!

[Craig the Princess]

#snoutrage

[steve_earwig]

What's the deal about DC and the pig? It sounds like that Charlie Brooker drama. It's all over b3ta too - http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/DavidCameronPigGenitals/popular/

[TagoraSX]

[Vin]

As amusing as #snoutrage is, from my days of doing hogroasts, the only way I've been able to open a mouth of a dead pig is to smash the teeth out and break the jaw with a crowbar...and only then could you get a spit through and anything over 3/4s of an inch thick was pushing it...

 

[steve_earwig]

SO you reckon it's possible but only if Cameron has a very small penis? That figures...

[inconsistant]

How to annoy science fiction fans:

 

 

 

Or buy them this t shirt:

 

[doobietoo]

Just won an Allegro interior for £0.99 I wonder if I will get it ... lol......

 

EDIT.... paid by paypal but the payment has not been accepted....no answer to my request to collect tomorrow either.....

 

Unbelievably I spoke to the seller today and I am going to collect on Friday....... might have to do a live collision fred .....

[Richard]

Is it news that Cameron has used heroin? I thought that came out during the leadership campaign.

[steve_earwig]

That was just* pot http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2007/feb/11/uk.drugsandalcohol1

 

So it's heroine now too? My god, this is making being too pissed to remember your daughter when leaving the pub look tame.

[dave21478]

I remember when I was a lad watching my dad use a vacuum cleaner to clean all the loose rust from around the fuel lever sender on an Alpine. Imagine our surprise when the vacuum cleaner went bang, blowing the filter cover off. Lesson learned, it could have very easily been a lot worse too.

 

 

Yeah....at a garage I used to work at the..... apprenti....ah fuck it, yeah it was me.... stupidly thought it would be a good idea to hoover up a load of spilled petrol with the wetvac so I could recover the precious juice, so I cleaned out the dust from the hoover and got to work. It didnt quite go to plan and the poor wetvac went Full Krakatoa.

Lesson learned.

[Sloth in a bowl]

I still don't quite believe it.

 

[Sloth in a bowl]

And one of the nutters has in car footage!!

 

[Richard]

That was just* pot http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2007/feb/11/uk.drugsandalcohol1

 

So it's heroine now too? My god, this is making being too pissed to remember your daughter when leaving the pub look tame.

 

I had only heard a snippet on the news this time round and I assumed they were talking about proper drugs. I'm pretty sure there was talk of heroin during the leadership contest but I might be remembering wrongly, it's certainly not news that he's used drugs though.

[dave21478]

That figure 8 racing is mental. I have seen banger racers doing that with the obvious expected results, but that is a whole other level of insanity.

[skattrd]

That figure 8 racing is mental. I have seen banger racers doing that with the obvious expected results, but that is a whole other level of insanity.

 

Ditto, I remember seeing bangers towing caravans doing figure of 8 racing at Rochdale when I was a kid.

[Arthur Foxhake]

309 kollekshunning happens in 5 days.

I are excite.

[JohnDeere]

Just booked a ticket to visit the Land Rover factory in Solihull on Friday morning. Can't decide whether to make a repeat visit to Gaydon or go and look at the new New Street Station in the afternoon

[The Moog]

Got back to car to find note under windscreen wiper apologising for hitting my wing mirror.

 

Couldn't seen any damage, but will check in the morning.

 

Fair play to them for leaving a note. Hoping it is nothing so I can phone them and say thanks but it is fine

[MrDuke]

I've only ever needed to leave a note once, when I clipped someone's wheel-arch turning into a car-park space. There were so many marks and scuffs already on the (not very old) car, I didn't think they'd have noticed, and sure enough I was never contacted by them. Still felt like the right thing to do though, irrespective of whether I thought it had spoiled their car or not.

 

There was another instance when I swiped a car in a car-park, but that time I didn't leave a note. Mainly because the company Scrote estate I was driving had embedded itself so hard into a K10 Micra that I couldn't seperate them, and I had to go into the factory and verbally inform the fearsome harpy that I had utterly fubar'd her car. On the plus side, the company paid for everything (and it was a HUGE bill) and I didn't get fired, on the crap side they never let me leave the office ever again.

[Aston Martin]

As some of you know i'm trying to get my C and then C+E. Theories were passed last week, about a month ago I had a 30 min assessment in a Transporter with no back window. 

 

Next week I have an hour assessment in a Cat C wagon... to determine how many lessons I require. 

[EssDeeWon]

Last night I had a dream that I was driving a brown mini metro automatic, it kept getting stuck in 1st and it also had a clutch pedal that didn't do anything.....

 

I can only imagine shit like this comes from spending too much time on here!

[outlaw118]

What started as a grump, has turned into a grin....

 

Step-daughters mate popped round Saturday with £40 in an envelope for her. I took it, then forgot all about it.

 

Fast forward to yesterday evening, SD needs the money...can I find it? Can I bollocks. Drew it out of my bank gave it to her.

 

Bored with work, i've come home lunchtime, emptied the recycling bin, started going through stuff. Found envelope, tucked inside Saturday's paper colour supplement thingy.

 

BRUCIE!!!!