What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[trigger]

Besides munton is getting on a bit.

True. But then so am I.

So's Billy by the sounds of it as well.ps she's not worth it mate, I've even googled this Victoria doris with the safe search off and not even a flash of nipple, Give me Bunton any day.

[Cavcraft]

While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.''No problem, just let me in,' says the man.'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.''Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.'Now it's time to visit heaven.'So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.What happened?'The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning... ... Today you voted.'

[Rusty Pelican]

Really pleased ive managed to finish welding a new NSR arch on the Beemer , even more pleased i never ended up in casualty with bits of rust in my eyes , did manage to get a hot spark in my left ear though that sounded like a giant frying egg and I also set fire to my jeans , ive now got a hairless patch on my left leg , relatively unscathed for me

[ashmicro]

First cut of the year on the back lawn today. Gave it the once over, then couldn't for the life of me remember how to lower the blades. So I asked the missus. Her reply: "Slammed on banded steelies and rat look for the win!!"Speechless!

[binhoker668]

Just had a early 30th birthday present from my family, A private number plate, Not something I've ever thought about buying but I'm chuffed with it.It's T80 MDC, T for Trigger, 80 for 1980, the year i was born and MDC are my initials, Just means i can't have a car older then T reg now!.How long does a plate transfer take?.

MDC = Legendary Anarcho-punk band. One of my faves.New plate = win mate!!

[mattblack]

...'Daily Mail Mum Of the Year'.

...pretty much describes my dream woman!

[Station]

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning... ... Today you voted.'

Ouch, so true.

[Station]

I think this chap is hilarious, I bet he'll be massive in a year or so!

 

[seth]

Beer. I've not had any for about 3 weeks. Until now.

[Guest]

Comparing the interior of my Laurel Taxi with a Laurel Medalist brings me happiness.

 

 

 

Admittedly, a kind of wry happiness. Christ, there's even things I didn't think of where I come off worse - wiper stalk, arm rests.....

[Guest]

That Coren woman - I would, and I'm 26 and really don't go for MILF. She looks like one of those posh lasses you'd get at college who you think would be very prudish. Get her on her own, a few drinks.....and you're away, she's doing filthy things completely at odds with what you thought (whilst talking in a posh voice).

 

Sorry, I digress.

 

Anyway, had a boss day today. Got loads done, got the Cholmondeley tickets done, took the C4 for a drive and it's actually pretty good (yes I did type that without coercion from the PSA mafia). Posted Richard's mags off, got a refund on my front wheel bearing, WALKED somewhere for the first time in ages.....

 

....and I finally found out what my mystery wheels are. I went down the unit and borrowed an air line off our neighbours. Hosed most of the crap away... and found something printed on one of the spokes that I couldn't see before. 'EXACTON 5 1/2 x 15"'

 

 

Bloody hell, they're Exactons, and exactly the right size I wanted for the Volvo. There's quite a few sets for Minis and MGs, between 10"-14", so WTF were these intended for? Mine are 5 x 114.3mm and 15" diameter. Probably a FWD offset though, as there were a set on that Austin 1800. What tyres should I be looking at for a wheel like that? The originals are 165 \ 80 x 15.

 

Doing the Curborough SPrint tomorrow. Should be good. Interview for new job on Friday. Argh.

[Minimad5]

Good luck with the Interview Wat' I went for a cracking Interview yesterday, and will hopefully become a Heavy Vehicle apprentice (Fingers and everything crossed)But yeah ... good luck

[ashmicro]

Yup, best of British Wat.

[M'coli]

'EXACTON 5 1/2 x 15"'

 

 

Bloody hell, they're Exactons, and exactly the right size I wanted for the Volvo. There's quite a few sets for Minis and MGs, between 10"-14", so WTF were these intended for? Mine are 5 x 114.3mm and 15" diameter. Probably a FWD offset though, as there were a set on that Austin 1800. What tyres should I be looking at for a wheel like that? The originals are 165 \ 80 x 15.

 

What are they made of, aluminium or magnesium?

Tyres to go on them - anyting with roughly the same rolling radius that'll safely go on the rim - 195/65 might be a good place to start.

[Minimad5]

Servicing the fiesta made me grin, as it now runs MUCH smoother !I just need to fine tune the carb and sort the timing out ever so slightly and Perfection.Also a random smack-head made me laugh out stupidly loud, as he suddenly stopped outside my house and shouted "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" ... i ran from around the corner, and seen him pointing and staring at the Rebel... he then casually walked away.What the hell goes throught some peoples minds ?

[M'coli]

Servicing the fiesta made me grin, as it now runs MUCH smoother !I just need to fine tune the carb and sort the timing out ever so slightly and Perfection.Also a random smack-head made me laugh out stupidly loud, as he suddenly stopped outside my house and shouted "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" ... i ran from around the corner, and seen him pointing and staring at the Rebel... he then casually walked away.What the hell goes throught some peoples minds ?

Smack. :DEdit: sometimes, though, these drink or drug-addled types' observations are a breath of fresh air, as they can see things for what they are, e.g., in the case of the Rebel, an unusual old car that they've never seen before.To wit: have you ever walked along a road that you use regularly when hung-over and noticed new things, or things a different way? It might be your brain just trying to latch onto anything to blot out the pain, but sometimes, it alters your perception slightly.

[Albert Ross]

I would try a 185/65/15, or a 195/60/15 as they would be about the right diameter.

[Minimad5]

Smack.

haha, how i was waiting for that comment I swear i should of video'd it, it was seriously random

[Tayne]

.

[Minimad5]

Thanks for the kind words Tayne !As for the Tyre talk ... you people are astonishingly clever

[ashmicro]

Thanks for the kind words Tayne !As for the Tyre talk ... you people are astonishingly clever

Do you mean smack, as in druggie, or slap, as in baldy? Either could explain! Smack - if he was aff his cake, or slap, if he was a coffin-dodger - we're talking an old car here.

[Gompo]

Seeing a Peugeot 405 Mi16x4 and an Alfa Romeo Montreal on the A1 in the past couple of days.

[brammy777]

I saw a silver MKIII Cav shoot past a blue Sierra Sapphire on the A30 tonight, it would have made a fantastic photo...but obviously I was on the bus. Made me smile though, a common sight 15 years ago still happening!

[Claypole]

The three blokes loafing at the tip today... one came running from the general wate skip..."Are those alloys mate?".Er yeah like i'd be stupid enough to chuck 3 alloys in the metal skip (steels). So he had to resort to poking with a long stick the contents of a box of assorted scrap I'd tipped in before he got there. I'd have kept the wheels for the 1 genuine scrapman that comes by but it encourages the driveby transit mob to steal stuff.

[boobydoo]

 

Yippee!

 

Finally managed to source a complete set of new, correct, silver and grey metal wheel trims for the 1100. The black plazzy ones currently on the car ( see pic ) aren't correct -they are off an earlier LX/GLX (or Simca 1000).

 

£20 for the 4, pick em up in Belguim when I go next month. Bargain!!!

 

Mind you, that goes some way to making up for having paid out £435 to get the car serviced and MOT'd. (No, I don't do it myself...I'm a complete vacuous Mong).....after being laid up for 6 months.

 

full service including:

new battery

new plugs

oil/filter

air filter

new distributor points

new spark plugs and leads

new steering rack gaiter

new pads

clean carb jets/needles.

 

Plus £65 for 6m tax!!

 

Might get the front bumper re-chromed this year aswell. Did the rear one last year an it looks pucker..so that will be another £160.

 

Soon adds up don't it!!??

[Parky]

I tell you boobydoo, your Simca makes me grin too! Its an absolute beautyJust what is it about obscure/defunct French brands that appeals to us lot?

[Louise2cv]

 

 

 

[r.welfare]

The 1100 is absolutely stunning.Do you still only put the "Special" badges on for show purposes to stop them fading in the sun? (Quoting PC writeup from 8 years ago from memory here!)

[boobydoo]

The 1100 is absolutely stunning.Do you still only put the "Special" badges on for show purposes to stop them fading in the sun? (Quoting PC writeup from 8 years ago from memory here!)

No, he was two owners ago!!The 1100 has been fully rebuilt AGAIN since then. New front wings, new rear wings, new front inner wings, complete paint job in original Moss Green new headlights , new rear lights, new front indicators, new window rubbers, new front and rear bumpers, new rearparcel shelf, track rod ends, clutch, alternator, starter, radiator, gearbox, wheel cylinders, brake hoses, new shocks, complete engine rebuild (with modified chain and sprockets so no clattery sound) blah , blah, blah Took 2 years to do. Oh, and the "SIMCA" badges are now specially commissioned replicas that won't fade!!

[Lukas]

I met a nice lady some days ago, that makes me very grin. Why? Because she really seems interested in me, not only my Camry. And those ladys are hard to find... Little joke because it´s a nice day today!