What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

You could buy a real aircraft-carrier for that money...!

[Caffiend]

Duck tape. Gaffer tape. Whatever you want to call it. Is there anything that it won't fix? Well, yeah - but still, it's fucking fantastic stuff

[Richard]

I've heard duct tape being called The Force, because it has a light side and a dark side and it holds everything together.

 

I understand that's some sort of Star Wars reference.

[Guest]

ANDY HAS FINISHED THE FUCKING SAAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!

[Cavcraft]

I think I probably set the land speed record for a 306 diesel this weekend. Knocked a full 15 minutes off the sat nav time going to Bolton yesterday and didn't get overtaken by a single car on the way home.

Some turd in a very tidy looking red Mondeo Mk2 ST thing did manage but he cheated by undertaking and soon got boxed in anyhow. Obv. on a clear road he'd have stitched me like a kipper, but he seemed to be in a bit of a rage about being overtaken by my smokey shit heap so lost any possible road skills he may have had.

Hats off to the silly bint in the new shape Astra who decided to just use whatever lane took her fancy at any given second though (without indicating or using mirrors), she didn't seem too pleased when I mouthed 'stupid slag' at her. Bless.

[phil_lihp]

I think I probably set the land speed record for a 306 diesel this weekend

 

Good luck getting a certificate off Guiness for that one! Are you running it on veg oil? Was talking to a chap in a very dilapidated Talbot Express camper who was saying it was ideal for old pug and Rover diesels and he was paying between 20 and 40p per litre to run the camper and his 1993 220D off the stuff with no discernable loss of power. If it really is that cheap I'm seriously tempted to consider it when the C'eed goes back.

[Richard]

It's difficult to find fresh vegetable oil under £1 a litre. He must be running on waste oil, which isn't always easy to come by and needs a bit of processing.

[cobblers]

If I end up getting this job with a 50 mile commute I'm DEFFO jumping aboard the old golf/polo 1.9 non turbo run on veg oil gravy train. Those golfs will do 50+ to the gallon of whatever goes in the tank. I'd just run it on new stuff rather than pissballing about filtering and dewatering used oil, it's a filthy dirty job and getting all the water out is apparently tricky (I've seen people boiling it off, fuck that!)

[phil_lihp]

Yes, he did say it was waste oil, how he was getting hold of it I have no idea but I did think there had to be a catch at that price. £1 a litre still not to be sniffed at I guess.

[Station]

A Pizza place I worked for a while ago had a big barrel of waste veggie oil in the back that they didn't know what to do with and I was always tempted with

1 buying a cheapo diesel,

2 charging them 20 quid disposal,

3 filling the tank through a sieve

5 ??????

6 profit

[cobblers]

My nan has just turned up asking me to sort her digital camera out, since she's going to sell her fiesta on ebay cos apparently the reg plate is worth loads of money and it would be a good gift for someone this time of year. She's apparently seen cars with worse registrations advertised for over £500.

I assume she thinks there's someone out there called J891CAL or something?

She isn't a stupid woman by any stretch of the imagination and she knows how ebay works etc etc but I am at a complete loss as to where she's got this ridiculous idea from.

[Lacquer Peel]

Yes, he did say it was waste oil, how he was getting hold of it I have no idea but I did think there had to be a catch at that price.

 

Mine is free.

[RedSparrow]

The crazy reg values seem to be a recent trend. Makes me think they talked about it on This Morning or some other piece of shit tv show which put the idea in people's heads.

[Cavcraft]

If you have a Makro near you they sell 20 litres of veg oil for about £19 I'm told. Getting a trade card used to be a matter if just telling them you were in the Noddy fan club as a kid and you had a train ticket from 2008.

 

I get it for either £20.99 or £19.99 for 20 litres. I'd stopped using it because the car was being a bastard to start but it turned out to be the glow plugs so more veg oil will be sorted this week.

I have got some used stuff here so once I get off my arse I'm going to follow Lenner Peel's advice to filter it.

[trigger]

My misses said "that annoying bald cockney from that crap car program you watch" gives "helpful" tips to viewers on some program called SuperScrimpers on Channel 4, maybe he's been telling people to sell their registration numbers to make money?

[vulgalour]

One of my friends put the seed of an idea in my head: Fix the Princess and use her as a daily, sell Steve.

 

Not happening yet. I'm actually tempted to replace Steve with a Mk2 Polo saloon eventually, it's a car I've wanted for a while and the seating position is a little bit more comfortable in some ways. Would be marginally cheaper on fuel and insurance too. Going to smarten Steve up in the meantime to maximise his potential for resale. This is all pie in the sky right now, but it does put a smile on my face to think I could be commuting and shopping in the Princess, getting in peoples' way, living the beige Aconite life.

[Cavcraft]

A Pizza place I worked for a while ago had a big barrel of waste veggie oil in the back that they didn't know what to do with and I was always tempted with

1 buying a cheapo diesel,

2 charging them 20 quid disposal,

3 filling the tank through a sieve

5 ??????

6 profit

 

 

I bet they know what to do with it now. My local chippy gets paid for waste veg oil and there seems to be a bit of competition to buy it, too. He said they told him it ends up in cosmetics.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I bet they know what to do with it now. My local chippy gets paid for waste veg oil and there seems to be a bit of competition to buy it, too. He said they told him it ends up in cosmetics.

 

Everything disgusting ends up in cosmetics. They make face cream out of baby foreskins.

[cort16]

I'm going back to Poland with work for a few days. The last time I was there this was outside the office. I hope it's still there.

 

pisshat by cort16, on Flickr

[Cavcraft]

So that's why Jimmy looked so young?

[Pillock]

Mrs Pillock's eldest (12 year old girl) is concocting a scheme to buy a shitty old coach, rip most of the seats out, and turn it into a massive camper for when we go to Santa Pod. Whatever drives us to like shite, it must be contagious.... as a bonus she's even making sure it stays within driving licence laws so Mrs Pillock has to drive.

[Morgan84]

This is a cheery chappy

[Stroller133]

I think some suppliers rent out veg oil now to takeaways and restaurants. I think the waste price is so strong they can nearly get as much for waste as virgin.

[ashmicro]

[Cavcraft]

The Dads Army museum have secured Jones' van and are after donations to pay for it

 

http://www.dadsarmythetford.org.uk/museum.htm

[TimothyClaypole]

£63,100 ?

 

Blimey.

[messerschmitt owner]

£63,100 ?

 

Blimey.

Don't panic.

[Inspector Morose]

Stupid fact no. 164

 

The only points I've ever got on my licence was for speeding (39 in an 30 zone through roadworks at Silverstone) in that van!

 

Used to belong to the Patrick Collection in Birmingham and we had been to Silverstone in it for the Make A wish Foundation. We took this, a BMW Z1 and a right had drive Delorean. All three of us got caught by the same camera.

 

Stupid Fact no. 165

 

It was originally a coke wagon for the London County Council, the body, a milk delivery body, was from a horse drawn vehicle.

 

Stupid fact no.166

 

39mph with cable brakes is scary.

[dollywobbler]

Trigger.

[walk]

Just doing a bit of ebay browsing for Dedra/Tipo stuff and came across this - not sure about Haynes' new marketing strategy...

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Steve-Rendle- ... 34b&_uhb=1