What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[wuvvum]

21 hours ago, richardmorris said:

Surprised none of you has a Swiss Army knife.

I bought a Swiss* Army Knife from Poundland many, many years ago.  The first time I tried to use the corkscrew, it just straightened out as soon as I started pulling on it.

[somewhatfoolish]

I think you'll find that's a swizz army knife. Ayethangewe.💩

[wuvvum]

On 03/10/2024 at 23:02, artdjones said:

Go via Pont de Brotonne, it's free.

Yup, that's the way I came back on Monday.

[reb]

Another bottle from the neighbours!

At least this one won't need me to fight with the cork.

[dozeydustman]

I took the 205 to work today. Bleary eyed at half 4 this morning I didn’t notice this until I got in when I finished at 1pm.

That’s 1,026 miles in my ownership. I think also I know how to fix the hands on the clock.

[Remspoor]

Just about 2 weeks ago some jack ass* wrote this :

Sue Gray isn’t going anywhere. 😅

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/pat-mcfadden-sue-gray-isn-t-going-anywhere/ar-AA1qVnU8

 

 

[paulplom]

Aldi Bedlington. See this all over the town but only just managed to photo the front today. Mid 70s bloke got out. Mid 70s lady last time. Obviously in daily use. Tha rear is just as good.

[paulplom]

I should have made him an offer on it. 

It's that shit it's cool again.

[paulplom]

I bet it's got a terrific stereo

[hairnet]

did a stupid

crowded house at coop live tomorrow

so im looking at the ticket (its one of them ticketmaster ones where the thing swipes across the barcode )

and there were two listings - errr ive def only bought one cos im going on me own

looked at the numbers in the corner or the thumbnail and theyre both different

oh fuck

looked at the details and the block and seat are different

oh

so went into ticketmaster and theres a bit above the details - sell

tried  that and all kinds of details needed (which they should have) but it  then says 2-3 business days needed to process

log in via phone and its listed it straightaway - when i click one - mine

click the other - it tells me its up for sale

wtf is up with that

if it sells fine - if not - cock

ahh well

[hairnet]

another lol

a friend bought a corsa e when he retired

for lols i was looking at them as had a go in his and theyre ok - the pez versions are good so 1.21 gigawatts should be ok right

saw one on autotrader and its in NI

20 plate 81000 miles

i ask him if hed buy that

he said battery will be fucked

i said no its done 140000 kms not the range is 140km

still wouldnt buy it

errr.............

madness

its 7500 - id be all over it

[richardmorris]

[myglaren]

[iainrcz]

Actually made the Ice queen crack a smile today. I snatched up my cup of coffee with a flourish and announced that "If anyone wants me I'll be upstairs watching reruns of Geordie Racer"

 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Message from my boss five minutes before close of play today.

'I need you'.

Give her a call.  Turns out they're sending me on an all-expenses multi-day business trip to Berlin on Saturday where I will be hosted by a large vendor and given VIP treatment in a decent hotel right near the Reichstag to come back on Wednesday.  Apparently our MD couldn't make it (he was on a panel at the last one in Dublin) so the MD suggested I should go instead.  I'm rather looking forward to it...

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Message from my boss five minutes before close of play today.

'I need you'.

Give her a call.  Turns out they're sending me on an all-expenses multi-day business trip to Berlin on Saturday where I will be hosted by a large vendor and given VIP treatment in a decent hotel right near the Reichstag to come back on Wednesday.  Apparently our MD couldn't make it (he was on a panel at the last one in Dublin) so the MD suggested I should go instead.  I'm rather looking forward to it...

Mebbe a tad less gumpy now?😀

[GrumpiusMaximus]

11 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Mebbe a tad less gumpy now?😀

Never.

[ProgRocker]

Just been sent home from work. No, I haven't been a very naughty boy.

The ground floor bogs in my office block have been closed off today and some serious sewage related problem has occurred. If there's a flood it could bugger up the servers. Too much pooping maybe.

Being an altruist and that I am still effectively on the clock, I gave 3 of my non car owning colleagues a lift home.

[MikeR]

That 4 out of the 6 taps now fitted with ceramic quarter turn inserts ... 

Just got the 2 old supa taps to tackle .. 

[vulgalour]

For the first time in about 5 weeks I chopped an onion!

I've been signed off sick with "stress", waiting a more formal diagnosis/therapy and there's been so many really simple tasks that I've been totally incapable of doing, chopping an onion was one of them.  I could get the knife and the chopping board and the onion out but then I literally wouldn't know what to do with them, the information just wasn't in my brain.  I did end up with half an hour of hand tremors and a headache after chopping said onion, which I don't really understand as a response, but I'm dead chuffed I managed to do it.

Hopefully this means I'm on the path to getting better.  Enforced idleness is my personal hell really, so I'm very annoyed that apparently that's the treatment that's going to get me well again.

[Chas4545]

G.C.C.C.

Me and wifey were visiting Elen Valley last weekend, and happened upon a big car club meet. I was instantly drawn to a spectacular Citroen DS 21, and while looking at it and other classics  I decided that this could be just what I needed after a recent diagnosis of a long term illness. 

A plan formulated in my mind involving buying a volvo 544 I had been obsessing over online , a lot of tinkering and some fun trips away in great company. There was a group of chaps chatting and laughing nearby, and I was struck at how happy they all seemed to be.

There was no spinning of wheels or reckless driving, just calm quiet and polite drivers, enjoying their interesting vehicles.  Seeing no sign of what the club was, I approached a very nice chap and asked what the contact details were. Well, now I know that the Gay Classic Car Club is a thing, and very popular it is too, judging by the turnout.

Wifey and I found ourselves in a long line of carefully driven classics touring Elan. A Beautiful Bentley drop top that looked  like a long wheel base in front of us,  and a lovely MG  behind. I have seldom been happier recently. 

It is such a shame I would need a major lifestyle change to join.   A very happy day though.

 

Correction. Wifey has just told me that their  site indicates I would not need a lifestyle change to join. .........

[Remspoor]

3 hours ago, Chas4545 said:

It is such a shame I would need a major lifestyle change to join. 

But that is not inclusion is it?😉

[myglaren]

Could be the Classic Cars that are gay.

[wuvvum]

7 hours ago, ProgRocker said:

Just been sent home from work. No, I haven't been a very naughty boy.

The ground floor bogs in my office block have been closed off today and some serious sewage related problem has occurred. If there's a flood it could bugger up the servers. Too much pooping maybe.

Being an altruist and that I am still effectively on the clock, I gave 3 of my non car owning colleagues a lift home.

I've been waiting for something like that to happen, the plumbing in that building has always been shit.

[ProgRocker]

15 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

I've been waiting for something like that to happen, the plumbing in that building has always been shit.

The building is over 20 years old now. We had to move our paraphernalia off the floor of our ground floor office and onto the desks just in case of a flood, Going back in tomorrow. Bit of a "Code Brown" alert you could say.

[Saabnut]

7 hours ago, Chas4545 said:

G.C.C.C.

Correction. Wifey has just told me that their  site indicates I would not need a lifestyle change to join. .........

This club always have a stand at the NEC in March, usually with a Saab on it. Over the years we have got to know them and can confirm they are a friendly group whom anyone is welcome to join.

[myglaren]

[iainrcz]

Ordered myself 2 new Claudio Lugli shirts 😁

[richardmorris]

[Dyslexic Viking]

I'm reading a book about a Norwegian main road through time and the roads here have been very bad but that the fixed detour when the bridge was broken was through the second floor of a barn above the sawmill below which was again over the same stream as the bridge and to do everything even better, motorists had to make a 90 degree turn inside barns before coming out the other side.  

This is just amazing.