What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[michael1703]

What a load of bollocks. If someone's an alcoholic you don't buy them another drink, and you don't encourage school-runners to drive Audi Q7s buy increasing the size of parking spaces in the ASDA 200 yards from home. However there should be dedicated large spaces for LS400s and 90s American imports.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38048793

From the article

 

"The standard parking space in the UK is 15.7ft (4.8m) in length, by 7.8ft (2.4m) in width"

 

I call bullshit there, I own a few cars that are 5ft6 wide and there isn't a lot of space left, there might be a standard size but I'm sure it varies depending on how many they want to cram in

[cros]

Cards arrived this morning

Good luck with this. When I was doing some building work on a relative's house in Kent I needed to fetch 20 sheets of plaster board and none of the builders merchants could deliver the next day even though in the same town. I phoned about 10 men with vans until I found someone who was willing to meet me at Wicked the next morning, which suggests there's a big demand. The van turned up a bit late but was otherwise fine (2002 Iveco, dog-ruff) and we soon loaded, did the 2 mile journey and unloaded. £30 cash and he was off to do a house move.

I'm aware the scenario is different where I live in Lincs but it's still difficult to get building stuff delivered the same day.

[catsinthewelder]

that's an interesting typo considering that I spend a lot of my time doing man and van runs for a company called Wicked.

[dollywobbler]

I drove over 300 miles from just above Middlesborough to home last night. You know what? It was an absolute joy. Very little in the way of twattish driving, and remarkably few jams given I set off at 5pm. Fair play motorway network. You can work sometimes. Or perhaps it's just that Northerners are just better drivers than Southerners...

Also, Radio 2 was on good form, with bonus Mark Radcliffe content.

[bramz7]

After being kicked out and then let down by a close relative regarding somewhere to live, I have just been accepted for a very nice room a shortish walk away from work, with parking outside. 

 

I have finally become an adult. 

[Vantman]

The scruffy Saab 900 passed the MOT yesterday,no work needed and no advisories.   .

[Tickman]

Got a text from my eldest who is doing higher Biology which said:

 

We are using the analogy of turbo lag in class to describe bacteria growth.

[barefoot]

Another forum I frequent has an absolute swearing ban. After a million years a couple of the blokes have had tantrums, sworn in a way that evades the filters, been banned and then flounced off to set up their own 'adult' forum. I have dutifully registered with the new one as well as the old. It's the interweb, who can be arsed to take sides? I'm off down the pub for the next couple of weeks while I wait for all the silliness to blow over.

 

Prediction, new forum will fizzle out after a short while, old one will probably continue exactly as before.

 

Bunch of twats.

 

- And talking of twats - 

 

Local landlady and her husband had a bit of a domestic.

She took the kids and left.

Hubby, the fat lad only barricaded himself in with a shotgun and refused to leave or open the pub!

Police - riot squad fun. 

& now he's been persuaded to go.

 

FFS

[Guest Hooli]

 Or perhaps it's just that Northerners are just better drivers than Southerners...

 

 

As a Southerner who has lived in the north for years, I think it's just the north is less crowded so you get gaps between the retards.

[danthecapriman]

While I was out and about at work today I ended up at one of our more remote sites.

Nobody about, but our company's tree cutters had been there a few days before and chopped back all the trees from around the overhead power lines and site fences. Piled at the far end of the site was a nice big heap of logs, already cut into decent size lengths. And I found myself there with an empty van...

 

So that's more than enough wood acquired for the log burner next winter. I've got plenty already seasoned to use this year so this lot will be getting sawn down with the chainsaw and split, then piled into the wood racks to dry out over the next few months ready to use next winter.

Most of what I found today is Sycamore, but there's some really big trunk sections from a huge Holley tree too, never used Holley wood before so hopefully it'll dry and burn ok.

[Vantman]

Holly logs don't give out much heat,plenty of flames though and they burn fast!

[danthecapriman]

Holly logs don't give out much heat,plenty of flames though and they burn fast!

That's a shame, but they were free so I'll still use them. I'm using Oak and Cherry at the moment, the Oak is pretty good tbh, seems to last a while and burns nice and hot.

 

I tend to just use whatever I can get my hands on for free, I find a fair bit of wood when I'm at work and it means I've got the van too to get it home!

I found a load of Yew (or something similar) one year. That was awful! It burned but left loads of thick black residue all over the glass window on the log burner door. I've tried using chopped up old telegraph poles once too. Not advisable! They leave a lot of mess on the inside of the burner and they stink too. Probably all the preservatives and creosote it's soaked in!

[andy18s]

That's a shame, but they were free so I'll still use them. I'm using Oak and Cherry at the moment, the Oak is pretty good tbh, seems to last a while and burns nice and hot.

 

I tend to just use whatever I can get my hands on for free, I find a fair bit of wood when I'm at work and it means I've got the van too to get it home!

I found a load of Yew (or something similar) one year. That was awful! It burned but left loads of thick black residue all over the glass window on the log burner door. I've tried using chopped up old telegraph poles once too. Not advisable! They leave a lot of mess on the inside of the burner and they stink too. Probably all the preservatives and creosote it's soaked in!

Hope you're getting the chimney/flue cleaned regularly if burning such timber....

Someone in the news almost daily over here who have succumbed to carbon monoxide poisoning and poor quality wood is the usual supect.....

Lecture over....

[danthecapriman]

Hope you're getting the chimney/flue cleaned regularly if burning such timber....

Someone in the news almost daily over here who have succumbed to carbon monoxide poisoning and poor quality wood is the usual supect.....

Lecture over....

Never had it done.

Ours is the house original brick chimney from an old open fire. It's clear and works a treat and we've just put the log burner into the fireplace opening with it's chimney going up into the original brick chimney.

I assumed since the chimney has never been out of use since it was built in the 20's/30's it must be ok?

[Vantman]

My sister lived in Scotland a few years ago and they used to burn old oak whisky barrels, they gave out loads of heat as well as a wonderful aroma.

[dave21478]

You should get it swept periodically (or do it yourself) to remove deposits which are a fire risk. A fire in a brick chimney can damage the mortar and make it prone to leaks in the future.

[DSdriver]

Even with a stainless steel twin skin flue up our chimney from the log burner we still get it swept every spring. 

At our friend's in France they have to show the house insurance company a certificate from the sweep otherwise their insurance is void.

[DSdriver]

You should get it swept periodically (or do it yourself) to remove deposits which are a fire risk. A fire in a brick chimney can damage the mortar and make it prone to leaks in the future.

 Once the mortar is damaged the fire can spread through to the roof, that lets in lots of water.

[danthecapriman]

Might be worth getting it swept out at some point then. As far as I know it's never been done.

There's no sign of any ash or anything dropping down out of it and in spring and summer the birds manage to shit down it easy enough so it can't be too bad!

 

There's a really good flow through it though, you can see the smoke getting sucked up and out when you light it. Once it's going there's very little visible smoke.

[Richard]

You should get it swept periodically (or do it yourself) to remove deposits which are a fire risk. A fire in a brick chimney can damage the mortar and make it prone to leaks in the future.

 

Another top tip. If the woman downstairs has set the lum up by using paraffin to start the fire and the fire brigade want to check your flat it's a good idea to let them in.

 

Fire by RichardB5, on Flickr

[Louise2cv]

I set my parents brick chimney on fire, in quite a big way.

 

There were horizontal jets of flame shooting out from the pointing. Firemen put it down to unseasoned wood and not sweeping regularly.

 

In ma and pa's defence we hadn't long moved in so wasn't really something that they'd thought of.

 

 

On the plus side my nan was visiting for her birthday tea and had a whale of a time chatting up the firemen.

[DodgeRover]

Never had it done.

Ours is the house original brick chimney from an old open fire. It's clear and works a treat and we've just put the log burner into the fireplace opening with it's chimney going up into the original brick chimney.

I assumed since the chimney has never been out of use since it was built in the 20's/30's it must be ok?

Chimneys want sweeping every 6 months!!!! Buy some brushes and get it done.

At least one sweep a year if you are just keeping a fire in over winter.

Creosote is either wet wood or having the fire shut down too much

[wuvvum]

6:55 Billy taking his Tommy scooter for a test ride.

 

[wuvvum]

I have finally become an adult. 

Good on you mate.  I should really start thinking about doing the same at some point.

[gordonbennet]

My Mrs, a woman who doesn't take prisoners (she's Greek with a .000000000000001 amp fuse) has just told me about her drive back from the gym, got behind a learner who the instructor had failing to give way when his place to do so causing various problems, then turning left to to turn right, she watched someone coming the other way stop alongside the driver and have a go at the poor sod, then when the learner stopped to turn right Mrs pulls up alongside the car...instructor winds window down and says 'what'?, so SWMBO ignoring him advises learner driver to ''change your instructor mate or you're going to fail''.

[oldcars]

White tatty van of some description just drove past work with this blaring 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcDy8HEg1QY

[bub2006]

Sounds like me but I've not been up north today

[vulgalour]

I have finally become an adult.

You have my commiserations. Being an adult is great until the novelty wears off.

[andy18s]

Local high street today,just a typical sight

Then went for a drive whilst the Mrs went for a spa treatment and ended up here

 

Edit.soz about the the sideyways pics,they all look fine on my phone....

Can anyone spin 'em for me?

[hairnet]

Johnk

 

Absolute head case