What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[captain_70s]

correct - you're probably better not knowing but the craze that caused a stir in Aberdeen students union was for the rugger lads to pop their onions out of their flies and see how long they could dance with a girl until she noticed and ran away screaming / in tears / fetched the bouncers !

Nothing like that happened, not intentionally at any rate.

 

Although to be fair I don't have to whip my nads out to get that sort of response from the ladies.

[nacho man]

Meant to be buying xmas presents for Miss T.

 

Bought bits for the saab so far.

 

1X Sid repair.

1X Maf.

4X Ngk plugs.

2x Wiper blades.

 

Also just treated myself to a badass trolley jack.

 

Ho Ho Ho........

[anonymous user]

I can just see her face as she opens the carefully wrapped trolley jack on Christmas Day

[nacho man]

"Gosh this is heavy, you must of spent a fortune"

 

"yeah it was a bit over my normal clarke 2 tonne £40 will last a year if lucky jobbie, now the wheel bearing needs doing on that clio, chop chop"

[anonymous user]

From our very own lyricist in the ebay thread. Cheers for this Billy

 

She unscrews the top of her new K-seal bottle,

and swept up the wheel arch with her brand new shovel

 

Like some kind of witch, with blue fingers in fist,
She can't take pictures because her camera's pissed

 

The black side repeater and gold paint's an odd mixture 

the gaffer taped door is a permanent fixture

 

The DVLA deliver the final reminder

It won't be long before this fucker's in China

 

Things to remember before I bid myself

EML is on, fucked alternator belt

 

Home is a place that I miss very much,

from the baaaaaaaack of the bastard, re-cov-ery truck

 

I may be slightly pissed, but I think this is absolute class

[DeeJay]

As long as she doesn't think you're taking the piss about her weight and getting her arse out of the chair.

[DVee8]

This  is on my faceblob.

 

https://www.carthrottle.com/post/10-iconic-old-cars-with-modern-front-end-swaps/

 

 

[purplebargeken]

Work had a new colleague start about a month ago. She is a bloody stunner to look at and lovely to talk to.

 

I am most distracted at work now and my productivity levels have dropped to almost subterranean levels but it is almost a pleasure to go to work nowadays. I did say almost.

[myglaren]

^ Similar thing here.  Everyone impressed with the new, cheery nice looking girl wandering around.

No-one seemed to know who she was or what she did.

Turns out she's the MDs girlfriend.

[captain_70s]

From our very own lyricist in the ebay thread. Cheers for this Billy

 

I may be slightly pissed, but I think this is absolute class

 

I'm not drunk on a Monday evening, honest.

 

[fordperv]

love that, well done captain_70s

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Christmas No.1 ?

Captain , are you willing to record an albums worth? I'm sure other shiters are up to trying to reach Cav's amazing benchmark.

 

A rust struck Alfa Romeo

Smokes a Busso serenade.

Laying everybody low

With the CO that he laid........

 

I'll get me coat.

[garbaldy]

So I have been driving for around 26 odd years and had 200 odd cars some of which have been right sheds as well, in that time I've been stuck at the side of the road only three times and two of them occurred in the last few weeks,

Look at this the car must be ace on fuel because at 40 odd mph the engines doing nowt.

That's strange never seen that before,

Ahh thats why

 

And what was this wonderfully piece of engineering marvel which caused this,

 

Yup a new golf how did you guess, it just laid down on the way home from dropping off the hippo which I had lent to a friend who now had to come to the rescue, why the grin well thank fook its not mine.

[LC Torana]

A rust struck Alfa Romeo

Smokes a Busso serenade.

Laying everybody low

With the CO that he laid........

 

 

 

When you're gonna realise

It's just that the belts were shot

[andy18s]

"Quick" the Mrs said,"there's a nice Manta just up in front and I'll get a pic"

"Bit far back' says I

"Nope,I got it"......

Yes dear. ........

 

 

Bless her cotton socks......

At least she got this 1

 

 

 

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

[Sloth in a bowl]

From our very own lyricist in the ebay thread. Cheers for this Billy

 

Quote

 

 

She unscrews the top of her new K-seal bottle,

and swept up the wheel arch with her brand new shovel

 

Like some kind of witch, with blue fingers in fist,

She can't take pictures because her camera's pissed

 

The black side repeater and gold paint's an odd mixture 

the gaffer taped door is a permanent fixture

 

The DVLA deliver the final reminder

It won't be long before this fucker's in China

 

Things to remember before I bid myself

EML is on, fucked alternator belt

 

Home is a place that I miss very much,

from the baaaaaaaack of the bastard, re-cov-ery truck

 

 

I may be slightly pissed, but I think this is absolute class

 

 

During the noughties a Rover 800 / an old Vauxhall Belmont / an American Pinto

Made every journey a time of excitement

 

I moved to a Prairie, it stank like a taxi

I learned over winter, how rust was corrosion

 

Scraped for a Volvo, it was a load lugger

I knew that one day, I'd bid on another

 

It drank all the oil, ate many a dizzy

Proud of my freedom, I bought a new Twizy

 

Things to remember before I bid myself....

 

 

Ka like a Rover, died head gasket failure

On the M4 in the middle of Summer

 

I drove in a Datsun, and then a Familia

But they were retired, by roads that are salty

 

A mobile home without toilet or heating.

It ran in a world full of Ford preservation

 

On moth eaten canvas, it's top speed was sod all

I parked it in Leicester, to piss in a bottle

 

Things to remember before I bid myself....

 

 

 

 

 

 

very sadly, that is probably my favourite writing of all the that I have posted in Autoshite.

[MarvinsMom]

 

taken on saturday evening, by the other half..

 

5043 Earl of Mount Edgecombe at York waiting clear away for Birmingham, looking all atmospheric in the dark.

 

i didn't know the other half had taken a picture on her mobile phone. the picture has come out better than i could have hoped for.

[strangeangel]

Peake, Malenchenko and Kopra safely in orbit on their way to the ISS

[anonymous user]

^ Similar thing here.  Everyone impressed with the new, cheery nice looking girl wandering around.

No-one seemed to know who she was or what she did.

Turns out she's the MDs girlfriend.

 it turned out it's what she was and who she did

[tooSavvy]

50353c48-67b1-46a3-9c46-3684df8c9474.jpg

 

taken on saturday evening, by the other half..

 

5043 Earl of Mount Edgecombe at York waiting clear away for Birmingham, looking all atmospheric in the dark.

 

i didn't know the other half had taken a picture on her mobile phone. the picture has come out better than i could have hoped for.

 

... and the Horse???

 

TS

[MarvinsMom]

eh??

 

sorry i've had a failure to understand....

[scaryoldcortina]

I think he means

 

[MarvinsMom]

ahhhh, all clear* now, many thanks!

[explosive-cabbage]

Today I stole a Monkey Puzzle tree and put it on eBay.

[robinmasters]

I've just read that the destroy-your-bonnet-and-lumber-you-with-massive-repair-bill mechanism that Jaguar for to the XF to protect pedestrians is called the Pedestrian Impact Sensing System.

 

Named by someone working their notice?

[Des]

Just been reminded of what dealing with a decent company is like, it's been a very long time, Ordered a couple of bits on internet from an outfit called Tinley Tech, I was careful to pick the right bits, checked again that kind of thing and of course fucked right up. They only bloody phoned me to check what I'd ordered when it didn't look quite right, and bits arrived next morning.

[xtriple]

Sat at the head of a traffic queue on the way back from the stereo fixer, pissing down with rain, back windows open because of Chester and all I can hear is some awful deep base thudding behind me. Looking in the mirror and it's a late model Escort in met blue with the oldest person ever driving! To add to the charming mage, he is revving the engine....

 

So when the lights changed,  didn't floor it, but I did press the accelerator in a positive manner...

 

Of course, the fact that this vast green thing just took off in silence (I could hear the turbo spool - I LOVE that noise!   ) infuriated this old bugger and though it took him some time, he did eventually catch me up. I had reached more traffic so nowhere to go.

 

He was now gesticulating madly and not in time with the banging tunes! When we reached Torquay, the road splits into three lanes and he got along side and was making rude gestures. I smiled nicely and waved... which seemed to annoy him even more, the dog just stuck his tongue out at him!

[eddyramrod]

Bentley life!   Long may you enjoy it!

[mat_the_cat]

Just been reminded of what dealing with a decent company is like, it's been a very long time, Ordered a couple of bits on internet from an outfit called Tinley Tech

 

Agreed, they've always been helpful to me and given me advice on LPG bits. Would recommend!

[D Spares & Tyres]

Ah old blokes....

 

Every time I overtake one they either flash their lights or make rude gestures!

 

Silly sods