What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[andy18s]

 

And these people are allowed to have kids???

 

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[Bobthebeard]

And these people are allowed to have kids???

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😳

"Emily...Emily.... Here girl, come back, good girl.........

Nothing

"Hoy Spike, get your arse back ere"

Hmmmm.

Presumably they are technically allowed to have kids, but if they ask questions like this then procreation may be a tad complicated.

[The Moog]

I think I have fixed my hot water tank.

 

It is a primatic one and was concerned the bubble had burst. Brown water and no hot. water.

 

Found something online that said whack boiler on full and run it for an hour. That will heat it all up enough to restore the bubble.

 

And it seems to work!

 

Next up is to replace all the radiators as they are old and sludged.

[hairnet]

train to naaaarwich from manc on a friday morning

 

theres two direct for 37 quid one for 45 whic isnt too bad (one way)

 

but you can go into london then back out depending on the time.....

 

the price?

 

£230 WTF???? - usually doing that makes it cheaper even on the saturday its 124 quid

 

to fly is 75 quid one way

[MarvinsMom]

bloody train tickets, where do they get their prices from??

 

but on a better note, watched sainsbury's xmas ad this evening. 

 

and i liked it, though to be honest i always would have done cos its got Mog in it, 

 

poor Mog...

 

[purplebargeken]

^^ Mog is ace. 

[Jon]

[eddyramrod]

Update.

The part for the Mercury did arrive and was the correct part.

The speed of delivery was astonishing. Dunno if FedEx are always this efficient as never previously used them. Check out the timeline:

 

image.png

Progress!  Excellent work sir.

[STUNO]

On the Aussie "Millionaire" quiz a few minutes ago.

 

Presenter.....You gave your girlfriend a wax impression of your hand, Was that your second option?

[philibusmo]

Rev Testicals is making me grin. His contributions to a few choice* threads recently have had me burst out laughing.

[STUNO]

Suzuki Alto for sale:

 

I'm 6'2'' and fit comfortably inside. Selling due to needing something a bit bigger

 

http://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/suzuki/auction-985153814.htm

[daveb47]

[scdan4]

Brian Johnson has just delivered an amazon package from the back of his silver Rover 75.

 

This Prime service is good...

[bub2006]

Local takeaway can get 20 litre drums of svo for 13 quid. Opens up an avenue to consider I suppose!

[michael1703]

Had a crazy busy week with a few 9 o'clock finishes,Monday morning the rear diff on the p38 expired on my way to work and it took me 45 mins to drives 4 miles as I had to keep stopping.

 

The grin is that I found a diff on eBay for £75 or best offer,my £60 offer was accepted,picked it up yesterday morning and got it fitted in the afternoon between jobs and it's sounding nice at the moment*

[UmBongo]

Noel Edmonds in those lottery ads.

 

Does he dye his beard or his hair?

 

Does he dye his beard and his hair different colours.

 

WTF?

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Yesterday, I spent the day taking 4 old ladies to a bowls completion in Maidenhead, whatever happened to OAPs huddling round a single bar electric fire eating cat food ?

Anyway, these wealthy giffers were as right wing Daily Mail reading as you'd expect , lots of anti immigration and OMG the Muslims are going to get us, talk. I just keep my head down and take their £300 - sometimes I feel dirty doing my job- but the bills have to be paid.

Anyway, the grin. We were driving through Princes Risborough and in slow moving traffic coming the other way is a Mercedes G63 AMG in full Russian Gangster/ Arab Teenager spec. The driver is texting and one of the Nazis says ' look at the driver of that Jeep, he looks like a terrorist ,probably plotting something'

I found this particularly amusing, as I recognised the driver, it was diminutive jazz funkster Jay Kay!

[Craig the Princess]

To be fair he does have a criminal record (or two).

[daveb47]

Just had a phone call from someone regarding an accident i had recently.Cant understand why when i i told him that i had 3516 accidents so far this year and asked him which one he meant he put the phone down.

[robinmasters]

Just serviced the ZX-oil and filters. Total cost:

 

[scaryoldcortina]

Letter from Parking Services...

 

 

 

I refer to the recent representation made in connection with the issue of the above Penalty Charge Notice (PCN). Your representation has been considered by this office in accordance with the requirements of the Traffic Management Act 2004.

 

The Penalty Charge Notice (PCN) was issued as the vehicle was parked in a loading place without loading activity taking place in Thorneyholme Terrace South, Stanley.

 

Loading activity taking place in a loading bay should be continuopus and the vehicle should not be left unattended for any purpose other than active loading or unloading. This activity includes taking goods/items from the vehicle and to the property, getting relevant delivery or collection documents signed when applicable, and then returning to the vehicle. A vehicle may use a loading bay for as long as necessary to carry out loading activity, as long as that activity is continuous. The observation period is not a maximum stay time assigned to the loading bay, only how long each 'round trip' is expected to take. Typically an observation period of 5 minutes is enough to establish if loading activity is taking place. A longer observation period is given to larger vehicles as they often carry goods that may take longer to unload.

 

Considering the proximity of the loading bay to the delivery address, I consider it not unreasonable to expect the driver to have carried out loading activity and returned to the vehicle within the observation period given.

 

Damn. Oh wait, there is more on the other side of the page....

 

 

 

After consideration of your representation and supporting evidence, I have cancelled the PCN on this occasion. I must advise you to ensure that loading activity is continuous in future.

 

 

Tl;dr - We don't accept any of your arguments and have completely ignored one of them but if the ombudsman sees this we'll get a new one torn open so OK, you win.

[anonymous user]

I have just been down to Cardiff, which did not make me grin; however on the journey down saw two things that did, firstly the most unlikely towing combination coming the other way on the A4232. It was a "what the hell is that" moment, a smallish 4x4 (Kia?) towing a full-size transporter trailer on the back of which I originally thought was a boat, but turned out to be a Starcraft - it looked awful and had missing windows above the cab so must have been like towing a parachute. It was heading for the M4 so god knows where they are trying to tow it to. Next buzzing along Hadfield Road was a tiny Postman Pat type van, couldn't get close enough to see if it was new or old, but it looked most incongruous on a main road. Lastly on the way home got passed by someone on a motorbike who was wearing a nice one piece Minion outfit, complete with matching customised crash-helmet. I really need to get one of those dash-cams.out more

[Lacquer Peel]

Local takeaway can get 20 litre drums of svo for 13 quid. Opens up an avenue to consider I suppose!

If it's soya based oil, it goes cloudy in the winter, not the best stuff for fuel but ok with a dash of petrol.

[bub2006]

I'll have a closer inspection. Petrol? Are you saying I can put that in tank too?

[Lacquer Peel]

Yep, any liquid road fuel, and other things, mix well with veg oil.

[bub2006]

Ahh ok. Petrol cheaper than diesel. I'm new to this. I've tried a bit of veg and it doesn't make any difference whatsoever to the idle issue,running etc

[hairnet]

cock muncher in a new 5 series in the out side lane doing 38 (50av speed limit)

 

i haz cruise control set at real 52 mph and im coming up on hiom rather fast - theres nothing for 300m in front of him - i can see over the top of him

 

he gets flashed to move over - nothing in lane 2 he doesnt so i bizz up the inside

 

i think he got annoyed as he decided to chase me from 17 to m66 jct at 18 - he follows me to the roundabout (im gonna head south) he gets to lights and is obv heading for yorkshire so as i turn right he got back on

 

1 im in a company van but blank

2 i dont give a fook

3 if i dropped any heavy shite outta the van he wouldnt like it

4 i was heading for glossop - what was he gonna achieve chasing me drive like a twat i wont be shy telling you yer a twat

 

enjoy ya blood pressure you knobwomble

[cobblers]

Surely knobheads who sit in the right hand time all the time at stupidly low speeds get flashed and tailgated ALL THE TIME and should be used to it?

Coming back from Ikea last night there was a Q7 in the right hand lane doing 45mph in a 50, despite two lanes to the left of him doing about 45-55.

 

It's about 5 miles between m1 J29 and J29a and maybe 15/20 cars undertook him. Probably 6 or 7 of them came up behind him, flashed their lights and stuff to try and get him to move over before undertaking The van in front of me got really upset blared the horn for ages and then nearly fuckin ran him off the road tailgating him to try and push him out the way before blasting past on the inside in a gap that wasn't really there, cutting back out of the middle lane into the fast lane with inches to spare.

 

But this Q7 twat was somehow just happy in his own little world, probably sat with the cruise control on, somehow ignoring the stream of cars trying to push him out of the way and wishing he would fucking die.

 

Anyway since this is the grin thread I'll just pretend that behind me was a traffic police car that pulled him over and gave him points for driving without due care which got him banned due to totting up 12 points, and after losing his licence and having to retake his test it was found that his eyesight was too poor and he was never allowed to drive again, losing his job as a regional manager for Wilkinsons.

The stress of this and the following 18 months out of work caused his marriage to slowly fall apart resulting in a very messy divorce where he lost his house and was left in massive debt through the divorce solicitor being a total crook, forcing him to rent a cheap, damp draughty house from a private landlord. Every morning I pass him as I drive to work and he walks to the bus stop to catch the first of three busses that he uses to commute to his new job as an outbound sales operative in a large call center. A job where he feels alienated by his colleagues who are all 20-30 years his senior. A job where his line manager is a 22 year old heavily tattooed lad from Barnsley called Adam who abuses steroids in a gym environment and as such has problems regulating his moods.

[dave21478]

Ahh ok. Petrol cheaper than diesel. I'm new to this. I've tried a bit of veg and it doesn't make any difference whatsoever to the idle issue,running etc

 

y....you do realise he is talking about small percentages as an additive, right? dont go putting 30 litres of petrol in it.

 

If the engine isnt running right on diesel, dont go messing with other stuff expecting some kind of miracle cure. A bit of low ash two-stroke oil can improve engine noise and give smoother running, but thats about it. You need to fix the underlying fault before running alternative fuels and trying to run it on 30% congealed chip fat, 30% petrol and 30% fairy liquid to clean the injectors is going to end badly.

[beko1987]

Run some premium derv through it for a tank, may clean it up! Spend all the time on high boost but low speed for maximum cleaning and minimum wall shagging