What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[nacho man]

Soz our kid the old st170 is mine the new St is his.

[fordperv]

Well it's official i need a mk3 cortina in my life, i have had my mates mk3 at mine to get through some jobs that needed doing he doesn't have any mechanical knowledge and relies on "mechanics" to fix it for him, I've started looking after it for him because of a bad experience he had recently with the garage he trusted, he told me to do my running around in it as well because my saph is parked on his driveway, what a lovely thing to drive this old barge is

 

I could get used to seeing this view from my bedroom window

 

[andy18s]

My pa had a mint mk3 2000 GXL for a good few years.

Done in that really deep blue with black vinyl roof.

Kept having the GXL badges pinched off the c pillar.

He px'd it for a new Mazda Montrose when they appeared in the showroom then regretted it ever since.......

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Facebook 'cars for sale' trolls

 

[Timewaster]

China make rover. brilliant!

[bub2006]

What a turnip

[purplebargeken]

I has happy. Mate helped me chuck on the front and rear doors on the Toledo and I fitted the bootlock to the NOS bootlid.

 

Car started first time after month of standing but front carb flooded. 5 mins later all cleaned out and running lovely. 

 

Now all that is out of the way I can focus on the cosmetics. Whoo hoo.

 

The 1500FWD buyer showed up and turned out to be a decent bloke after all. 

 

Sunday is for winnahs.

 

Small grump...... Mrs. PBK took the car money in case I was tempted to buy another car. Bugger.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I didnt know you were selling the 1500, it looked great!!!

[purplebargeken]

It was nice rather than great. The oil leak defeated my mate who knows these cars well. It just bugged me. Plus, I can no longer get underneath cars for hours on end and still be able to stand/walk afterwards.

 

I still have the Toledo to play with, as well as the Amazon. That I think is sufficient. 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

For some reason I was looking at Audi Q7s on Autotrader and clicked on the review bit. Seems this guy isn't quite as pleased with his choice as most others.

 

 

After 18 months and 25k miles of ownership of a 3.0tdi s-line i feel qualified to pass on this advice.

 

This is all you will ever need to know about owning a Q7

 

Buy one..

 

If you like free tumblers from the petrol station

 

If you believe that the 3rd row of seats is purely for childrens toys and amputees

 

If you like people laughing hysterically at you as you try and park 18ft of blind-spot into a 14ft space

 

If you believe that all men are equal and therefore you will always be let out into moving traffic

 

If you are a software genius and can master the Audi MMI system whilst driving with the dog howling and kids going mad in the back

 

If you are not even slightly perturbed by turning on SKY news and seeing that half the Premier League also drive a Q7

 

If you are happy to admit to your mate in the Rose & Crown that he might have had a point when he told you to buy an A6 all-road, Discovery 4, instead.

 

Don't buy one...

 

If you think that a Q7 is like every other Audi

 

If you have read the highway code, looked at the braking distances and thought 'surely this 2.5ton 4-wheel drive can stop in a shorter distance than that'

 

If you think that the design of the car is slightly dated and looks like it should have been facelifted with the rest of the range 4 years ago (because you would be correct)

 

And finally...

 

Q7 + SNOW = not a very nice ,akin to climbing a Teflon hill in your most favourite carpet slippers.

[TimothyClaypole]

My sister has loaned me her Polo for the week so I can go to work tomorrow. 

 

(And not waste any more holiday days because my "mate" who we share travelling to work with alternate weeks has decided to have a bad back because I have no car then texted me asking how I was getting to work last Monday... knob). 

[Lord Sterling]

Today I met up with Sir Dugong to make a trip to Malvern and attend a small car show/auto jumble. Apart from me making his car cigarette lighter not work (which in his words seems to work only through strange deals and masonic handshakes) and almost setting seeting the car on fire whilst bombing up the M5 (more on this story later) we had a great day. I intended to buy nowt, but came away with a small haul:

 

 

Which consists of: 2 rear floor mats, in Grey for a W124 Merc, a Mercedes 'S-Class' W126 brochure and a 1980s picture of a Lamborghini.

 

The mats were a strange find. I'd been looking for some rear Grey mats for the Merc forever, no one seemed to have set, no breakers or owt. Whilst at the Auto Jumble I noticed a stand of car magazines/old adverts etc... there a couple of piles of mags on the floor, under them were various carpet tiles and what looked like a Merc floor mat which caught my eye, I knew it was a W124 Merc rear mat, so I asked the stand owner about them, he used to run a W124 Merc estate and pulled the mats out before he got rid of it, he now only used the mats to put his overflow stock of magazines on wherever he sets up his stands, he brought the other mat out as I explained that I was looking for for a pair of mats for my W124, a bit of negotiating, the mats were mine!

 

After getting the mats I was about to head outside to take a picture of a Ford Sierra when I noticed a picture in the bin by the door, I turned it over and it was the picture of the Lamborghini, it looked in goid, solid condition and still had a price tag on it, with it in the bin was also a couple of very old (1960s vintage) Registration book and Test certificate for a BSA motorcycle.

 

Now, this:

 

 

What you see here is a big car battery in the footwell with some car jump leads connected upto a car charger for a phone. Yes, this is Dugong's ghetto style way of keeping a mobile phone alive so he can receive phone calls and take pics. This is also the reason why I nearly set the car on fire. After a good 40 mins or so of trying to keep the Red charging clip on the dying and slightly overheating phone charger (because I broke the MG's lighter) so the phone could charge up, I managed by slip of hand to touch the other clip which sent a small amount of sparks flyibg up as we bombed on up the M5, the sparks could have probably set the soft-top on fire but thankfully didn't. It did however manage to almost weld the negative clip of the jump lead to the car charger, I did manage to free it though.

 

So yeah, interesting day!

[STUNO]

Watched somebody reverse at reasonable speed into the rear of the Bx the other day. He drove towards a row of parked cars and turned around to reverse into a space which just happened to have a BX parked in it. I assumed the best would be a destroyed bumper and possibly more as the other car was fitted with a tow bar. However no damage at all to Citroen thanks to funny suspension. When it was hit the tow bar went under the top bit of the bumper and lifted the car so the bumper hit the rear tailgate and damaged that. Result . Jap Suv which was able to stop the driver seeing a BX 25 feet behind it damaged tailgate !   Bx like new. Me happy

[dollywobbler]

Good grief! Dugong still dices with danger then. My 'pikey' charger set up is just to take my jump-start battery pack with me, which conveniently has a 12v power outlet.

[320touring]

Polo sounds like a race car!

 

(As much as an n/a indirect diesel running on veg can..)

[hairnet]

Facebook 'cars for sale' trolls

 

 

 

China make rover. brilliant!

 

 

What a turnip

not bright enough to realise you get unlimited typeage - dnt nd 2 du tht m8 - alternately - learn how to spell

 

verdict - lucky to be able to breathe on his own........

[hairnet]

booking ferry to ireland

 

irish ferries 77 quid - hahahahahaah

 

stena 55 - they put prices up at xmas every year

 

through aferry.co.uk - usually its 60 quid on irish ferries but looked at it today and its 40 quid

 

so thatll be a return trip for only 3 quid more than irish ferries single

 

GET IN

 

the other larf is foot passengers pay 36 WTAF!??!?!!?!

[MarvinsMom]

not bright enough to realise you get unlimited typeage - dnt nd 2 du tht m8 - alternately - learn how to spell

 

verdict - lucky to be able to breathe on his own........

 

just park "him" infront of a large window, "he"' will enjoy licking it all day long.

 

wanker.

[Aston Martin]

Yes, this is Dugong's ghetto style way of keeping a mobile phone alive so he can receive phone calls and take pics. This is also the reason why I nearly set the car on fire. After a good 40 mins or so of trying to keep the Red charging clip on the dying and slightly overheating phone charger (because I broke the MG's lighter) so the phone could charge up, I managed by slip of hand to touch the other clip which sent a small amount of sparks flyibg up as we bombed on up the M5, the sparks could have probably set the soft-top on fire but thankfully didn't. It did however manage to almost weld the negative clip of the jump lead to the car charger, I did manage to free it though.

 

So yeah, interesting day!

 

 

Buy a portable battery bank http://www.amazon.co.uk/EC-Technology%C2%AE-22400mAh-Capacity-Flashlight/dp/B00F5Q4F0U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425917146&sr=8-1&keywords=ec+technology

 

It charges my Nexus 6 around 5 times, has 3 USB ports and an SOS torch.

[nisfan]

I remember a few years ago in an asda car park there was a C5 estate with its front end randomly going up and down, nobody near it or in it., ALL MODERNZ R SHIZZLE.

[fordperv]

Today I went to the city centre with mrs fp, i parked up and walked round a side road and saw in the distance what at first glance was a 405, then got closer and saw it was in fact a 605, I've not seen one in a long time

 

 

 

[messerschmitt owner]

had thirty mins spare this afternoon so I've booked Freddie the Fiat 126 in for its MoT next week!

 

Washed it today so it's presentable - need to do a little cleaning inside but, as normal, it starts as soon as the carb is primed and sits comfortably on tickover once she's a little warmed up.

 

I checked all the lights, as you do, and noticed the rear indicator was out. Went into the garage for a screwdriver and a bulb and by the time I found a 21W bulb the thing was winking at me!

 

I like self-fixing cars - no Fix it again tomorrow - more like Fix itself all [of] today.

 

Needs two wiper blades, and the handbrake adjusted but I think Freddie should pass again and give me another thirteen months of fun.

[mrbenn]

After a good 40 mins or so of trying to keep the Red charging clip on the dying and slightly overheating phone charger (because I broke the MG's lighter) so the phone could charge up, I managed by slip of hand to touch the other clip which sent a small amount of sparks flyibg up as we bombed on up the M5.......

 

Thats about 39.5 minutes more than I'd have managed - good show!

[fordperv]

Sods law says it'll probably stop working on the ramp

[steve_earwig]

If it does just give the lens a thump (try not to break it...)

[messerschmitt owner]

I think for five mins work, I'll still unscrew the unit and check - my garage is really good, and kind to older cars.

 

On the ramp today was a DS420 limo.

[chaseracer]

THE MERC WORKS!!!  Brand new ticket and going like the proverbial.

 

I IZ WELL CHUFFED.

 

[MarvinsMom]

the place we take out cars for their mot's has 2 guys who do the testing, a youngish guy who is the better part of 6'4" tall, who doesn't so much get in the mini, as put it on. he's great takes both his time and treats our various old cars well. for instance, when doing the exhaust test he only runs the engines up for the minimum amount of time needed.

 

the other fella i don't like him testing any of my cars, he will rev the bollocks off of them with one of those pedal stick things for an age while buggering off doing something else. he just doesn't treat the cars well. its like cos he is older, he just doesn't care?

[cobblers]

Instead of the usual piles of bus electronics to fix, a regular customer sent us in a digital dash out of a UR Quattro to repair and obviously the job landed on my desk.

They are cool as fuck:

 

It's in a right old state though. The connector is corroded and someone has made a right mess of repairing it a few times before with bits of old mains wire and whatnot.

Can't wait to get cracking with it in the morning.

[scruff]