What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[philibusmo]

I just bought a car. Eventually I Ended up being a little sensible and didn't get a 5.0 V8, which is very sad. Eventually I had to settle for a tiny 4.0 straight six. While the auto box is still a little dim-witted, it's much better than the one in the older Falcon.

 

I still got a Fairlane, actually the newest car I've ever bought as I managed to turn up a 2003 model in really good nick, with roo bars and 7 months rego (like mot/tax) on it for just $3300. The dual zone climate control, cruise control, rear parking sensors, trip computer and electric memory seats all work perfectly. The only issues is the drivers electric window is a little sticky when going up and its slightly lumpy at idle which either means it needs a good thrash or there is an air leak around the inlet somewhere which is apparently common on these. The two rear tyres will want replacing in a few thousand miles as well.

 

It came from one of the slightly more 'characterful' areas of town from my new best friend Colin the Iranian with a sniff of petrol in it which made for an exciting* first part of the journey searching for a fuel station. Bask in the glory of my fuel station shots, so rubbish that Billy would be proud.

 

And a bit of local flavour;

 

I got it back across the city, having got lost many times and it was perfect, the interior is in really good condition and super comfy. The radio is excellent, the air con is icy cold and I am very very pleased with it.

[320touring]

Bogantastic

[Tayne]

http://www.galwaydailynews.com/2015/01/15/scientists-confirm-link-bmw-ownership-asshole/

[MarvinsMom]

no, no, no, no.

 

bmw drivers are complete and total  wankers, aldi drivers are arseholes.

[MrDuke]

Useless phakt of the day: A fully charged car battery contains barely as much energy as a sandwich. (thankyou XKCD)

[Bobthebeard]

Useless phakt of the day: A fully charged car battery contains barely as much energy as a sandwich. (thankyou XKCD)

Being a fat feckker and on a diet, based upon that information I am about to eat a flat battery for my tea. My legal team* will be on standby

[HillmanImp]

No reverse gear? Sorted:

 

[dollywobbler]

HIS CAR CAN MOONWALK!

[wuvvum]

I did a Google search earlier for the word "cuntfuttock".  Almost all the results were from this site.

[Stroller133]

Just looking at commercial property and found run down workshop...........marketed by estate agents called Shonki Bros

Leics area?

[saucedoctor]

Mercedes EPC.BUMBERS and DIVERS SEATS. Not long ago, Mercedes would have had people tied up with piano wire for this carelessness.

 

 

[Pillock]

Aye, Shonki Bros are local to me.

[Richard]

I don't know where he got it but my son sent me this school picture of me and my sister.

 

 

Where did it all go wrong etc.

[beko1987]

 

One for the svm in Crowland earlier!

[Hertz]

Sometimes I'm so glad I'm me. 

 

[dollywobbler]

Roadkill is back. Also caught up with Classic Car Show this evening, which I thought wasn't bad at all.

[theorganist]

Just watched our local MP reverse her Audi Q8 whatever it is (some huge black thing with an Audi badge) into a bollard whilst reversing out of a parking space at our local Sainsbury's! To be fair she was parked in quite a tight area. I would have thought something like that would have parking sensors?!

[Craig the Princess]

[cynic] Well I'll feel good about my taxes paying for the repair on expenses [/cynic]

[fairkens]

Sensors might not have picked up the bollard, they seem to work best on flat walls and other cars

[steve_earwig]

That was my thought, she probably had too much faith in the things but they can't see everything.

 

What, you didn't get a picture?

[Louise2cv]

Or, like me she might not have enough faith in them. You still have a good couple of feet after the solid bleep starts.

[fordperv]

Just been to assess a mates mx5 that I agreed to weld as a favour, thankfully it's much better than I thought it would be, i wonder if I'll be as optimistic when I get the grinder to it

[steve_earwig]

2 feet? What's the point of it then? When I'm reversing that last 2 feet is what I need help with, more than that I can cope with without some gadget pointlessly bleeping away at me.

[DSdriver]

Perhaps she is old fashioned like me and believes that "parking by ear" means you keep going until you hear a crunch.

[steve_earwig]

Maybe she was hoping some peasant would rush out and stand between her car* and the bollard to cushion the impact.

[Louise2cv]

I think so that you have room for accessing the boot and probably to allow for sticky out bits like tow-bars that might be in a sensor blind spot or something?

[xtriple]

Or, like me she might not have enough faith in them. You still have a good couple of feet after the solid bleep starts.

Not on mine, solid bleep means STOP NOW! You have at best two inches to spare. I like it this way as I can get into tight spaces, though the first time I really tried them out and thought like you, I had to buy the lady that parks behind me a new no plate! 

 

Not really but it did touch as I didn't put the handbrake on and it rocked an inch or two inn 'park'.

[Louise2cv]

Actually I can admit here (Matt's not looking) I have found them to be a bit hit or miss (pardon the pun).

[fordperv]

Perhaps she is old fashioned like me and believes that "parking by ear" means you keep going until you hear a crunch.

Parking by braille is too common, look at most generic euro shitbox and there will be a parking scrape on it

[steve_earwig]

I've been toying with the idea of fitting parking sensors to the back of the Pug for a while now but that's put me right off that has.

 

I wonder if anyone's ever fitted some of these to their bumper instead...