What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[beko1987]

Echo 2-cycle Gas Blower Demo:

 

Why can't b&q do adverts like that?

 

Why shouldn't autoshite do adverts like that...

[beko1987]

Where Does the Mucky Sediment go?:

Ring ring...

 

Hello. You'd like your pond drained? Of course. How long? Oh, about 9 months. Use of your garden? Oooh *sucks air through teeth* afraid not madam, needs to filter see?

 

Click

[dugong]

Have two new housemates.

 

So far the stove's baffled one of them, and the other's taken 45 minutes to make an omelette.

[DS20]

A nice drive to Lincoln and back today, via Scunthorpe, in the DS. I went on the cliff road, through Kirton, and the DS's trick suspension made the v bumpy road as smooth as you like

[Mr Lobster]

Took Mrs_L's Mazda to a local garage for service and MOT. All good so far.

 

When I went to pick it up I noticed a two tone blue Talbot Alpine hatchback in the bodyshop being restored (along with VW T2 Westfalia and Austin A40 or something similar).  Anyone here or are there more old car wierdos about than we think?

[mat_the_cat]

Benjy something-or-other?

[trigger]

That's not Bo11oxs old one is it?

[Mr Lobster]

Thats what I thought but Benjy says not.  Garage said the owner also has a Solara so it means that there are as yet undiscovered Talbot fetishists out there. Excellent.

[vulgalour]

Oh impact driver, how did I ever get anything done without you?  It is my new favourite tool.

[skattrd]

I've been back in the country 4 days and have almost got a new contract, interview passed, vetting tomorrow.

It's a nationwide role so lots of driving @ 45ppm, yay!

 

The only cars I have currently on the road are the Boring diesel and a 35yr convertible Lancia with a holey roof. I think I may need to buy an alternate backup motor to the Lancia .... I'll take any excuse to buy another cheap motor.

 

Does anyone fancy going to look at the Tipo dizzler near Manc on the blue forum for me?

[DS20]

I bought a NOS locking fuel filler cap for the Saab - the years of driving around with undefended petrol are over

[Mr_Bo11ox]

This is what you need Skizzington

 

http://www.leboncoin.fr/voitures/698875992.htm?ca=7_s

 

Prisma Turbo DS, all up and running - 200€!!!

[phil_lihp]

Oh impact driver, how did I ever get anything done without you?  It is my new favourite tool.

 

I've had one in my toolbox for years, a 1970s one my Dad gave me as he had no use for it.  I've never, ever used it as an impact driver and had forgotten about it until trying to get the seized screws out of a brake disc that hadn't been touched in 6 years a couple of weeks ago.  I should have saved 20 minutes of cursing and frustration chewing up the screws with an assortment of regular screwdrivers, a few bashes with the impact driver and they popped out no problem at all.

[Stroller133]

I bought a NOS locking fuel filler cap for the Saab - the years of driving around with undefended petrol are over

I lost my filler cap the first time I filled up. It was still locked by the flap, but the Internet suggested I was driving a ticking bomb and losing fuel, so I bought a universal cap.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Works go kart evening tonight.

I hadn't been in a go kart for 10 years and weigh too much so was targeting upper mid table mediocrity as respectable.

 

Out of 30 people I get 2nd overall and fastest lap of the night, result.

Too much wasted time spent playing on F1 games and Need for Speed has finally paid off.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Have two new housemates.

 

So far the stove's baffled one of them, and the other's taken 45 minutes to make an omelette.

 

Once in every lifetime....

Comes a lot like this...

[vulgalour]

Turns out I meant an electric 'rattle gun'.  The old fashion hit-it-with-a-hammer impact driver I had was superb, a true scrapyard friend, but I have no idea what happened to it.

[tooSavvy]

MrSavvy began farty fartying under the box today.... OMG£££UNOBTANIUMEX.

 

I'm on a few days break, in Carlisle, so googled ex shops and found Bryan Fell Ex.

No way I'd go to a chain ex QF.

 

Drop in on spec - up on lift, good poke, magic rhinopoo slapped around centre butt join, drop & reverse out.

 

£NIX

 

 

well happy..... I have to split & regasket 'slowtime', but still eminently $hiteworthy result.

 

 

TS

[Parky]

Vulgalours house, yesterday

[Parky]

MrSavvy began farty fartying under the box today.... OMG£££UNOBTANIUMEX.

I'm on a few days break, in Carlisle, so googled ex shops and found Bryan Fell Ex.

No way I'd go to a chain ex QF.

Drop in on spec - up on lift, good poke, magic rhinopoo slapped around centre butt join, drop & reverse out.£NIX

well happy..... I have to split & regasket 'slowtime', but still eminently $hiteworthy result.TS

You are Carcoat Damphands AICMFP

[Parky]

Other news

 

1) washing machines live longer with Parky. One misbehaving Hotpoint doing exactly what's its told (washing clothes and that). I ain't taking no shiz off no domestic appliance

 

2) helping Wifeys boss move some stuff around their office earlier, and one of the desks had a broken drawer. I offered to fix it if someone had a screwdriver, which luckily they did. Can you tell the office is entirely female??

 

This made me ROFL. SnapOn, Teng, Halfords Professional, and Draper need to develop a range of tools in conjunction with designers in order to capture the female market. Dolce & Gabbana torque wrench? Cath Kidston mig welder? The possibilities are endless!

[Cheggers]

MrSavvy began farty fartying under the box today.... OMG£££UNOBTANIUMEX.

 

I'm on a few days break, in Carlisle, so googled ex shops and found Bryan Fell Ex.

No way I'd go to a chain ex QF.

 

Drop in on spec - up on lift, good poke, magic rhinopoo slapped around centre butt join, drop & reverse out.

 

£NIX

 

 

well happy..... I have to split & regasket 'slowtime', but still eminently $hiteworthy result.

 

 

TS

 

Is the answer "halibut"??

[Mr Lobster]

Reading through MotorSport magazine and seeing Ratdat and his Cherry Europe. Wasn't expecting that!

[Lord Sterling]

MrSavvy began farty fartying under the box today.... OMG£££UNOBTANIUMEX.

I'm on a few days break, in Carlisle, so googled ex shops and found Bryan Fell Ex.

No way I'd go to a chain ex QF.

Drop in on spec - up on lift, good poke, magic rhinopoo slapped around centre butt join, drop & reverse out.£NIX

well happy..... I have to split & regasket 'slowtime', but still eminently $hiteworthy result.TS

Lol. Reading that is like being 16 again and trying to understand an exam paper. All the words are readable, they just don't make sense.

 

[tooSavvy]

Aye..... cheapper than the hole shibbangger EH

 

TS

[Mr Lobster]

[Cavcraft]

Surely if you wanted a woman to decorate her tools, you'd just get her to wear gloves over her wanking spanners?

[Tayne]

Vulgalour's one-man internet campaign starts to show results.

 

http://cars.uk.msn.com/news/revealed-the-greatest-cars-of-all-time#image=15

[vulgalour]

FINA-FUCKING-LY!

[fordperv]

I would love to see that cunt brewer get lumbered with a really shagged one that was falling bits and ed China crack him one for buying it in the first place