What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Richard]

I have seen the Strathclyde Region tie in all its polyester glory. It is magnificent.

 

And here it is.

 

 

They had a load of them on display in the museum.

 

[KruJoe]

In a locked, refrigerated cabinet no less. Truly special.

[vulgalour]

There are few things more satisfying than not only catching two local oiks (can't have been more than 10 years old) stealing the plain metal valve caps from Mikeknight's Porsche, tell them off from the doorway and then stand with arms folded while they shame-facedly put them back on the car.  Of course there was no apology and they legged it as quick as they could, but I've not seen them on the street since so maybe it's a lesson learned.

 

I didn't even have to swear at them and they didn't say a word.

[Ghosty]

[AlabamaShrimp]

^^^^what's a fair trade town supposed to mean??

[Richard]

I think a certain proportion of the goods on sale have to claim to be fair trade.

[myglaren]

^^^^what's a fair trade town supposed to mean??

Shops stay closed in bad weather!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

There's a vending machine at my work that will sell you a bottle of 'fair trade' orange juice, for ONE POUND TWENTY!!!! Oh the irony. They've just moved the exploitation from one end of the supply chain to the other.

[purplebargeken]

 

 

I'll quantify that for you: how many fit birds arses do you see whilst our running in the hills?

 

This is possibly the only reason I go to the gym. 

[purplebargeken]

Can I claim the AS spot of the month please. Two, yes, TWO red Citroen BX's spotted on the M3 today. They looked pretty bloody tidy as well. Sadly no pics as I was too stunned by the mystical event.

 

I then poked myself in the eyes with a passing pineapple swiped from one of the trillion VeeDubs that I also saw - purely as punishment for not taking a picture. I am sorry. 

[Cavcraft]

Can I claim the AS spot of the month please.

 

No, that was won by the Mk1 Astra saloon.

[dollywobbler]

There's a fair chance one of those red BXs was on its way to Stratford. A chap from down that way came to visit today. 

[purplebargeken]

It looked bloody nice if it was the same chap.

[dollywobbler]

Did it have a full bodykit? He was in a 16valve. 

This one.

[purplebargeken]

It is possible as the second one went past fairly quickly and to my then overwhelmed mind looked as if it was the sporty version. The body kit thing may have hoodwinked me. The first one was driven by a woman who looked to be in her 50's or 60's. So that kind of rules out the bloke thing unless he wore a blonde wig. 

 

Seeing 3 red BX in one morning would have meant that I had died and gone to AS heaven. I'm not dead but appear to live in hell (London N9). 

[Cavcraft]

 The first one was driven by a woman who looked to be in her 50's or 60's.

 

 

Vanny?

[Parky]

I made home made pizzas, chocolate brownies, and banana bread today.

 

Parky junior declared they were "really amazing"

 

I AM PAUL HOLLYWOOD!!!

[Cavcraft]

Surprisingly eBay and a car boot sale made me happy.

 

Got up at stupid o'clock yesterday and did a car boot sale with the domestic manageress. Yeah, we had the usual morons who wanted everything for nothing but after some basic training my missus batted them off with aplomb.

We also met some great characters and had a right laugh with them.

 

eBay saw my bike go for about twice what I expected and the buyer turned up last night after a 1.5 hour drive with cash in his hand.

[beko1987]

We need to do a boot sale one weekend. Sw!go always does well with Evas old clothes and other tat, I normally have trouble with random bits of Hoovers and other tat but it can be a laugh!

[UmBongo]

Surprisingly eBay and a car boot sale made me happy.

 

Got up at stupid o'clock yesterday and did a car boot sale with the domestic manageress. Yeah, we had the usual morons who wanted everything for nothing but after some basic training my missus batted them off with aplomb.

We also met some great characters and had a right laugh with them.

 

eBay saw my bike go for about twice what I expected and the buyer turned up last night after a 1.5 hour drive with cash in his hand.

 

 

''I'll give you 50p, mate.''

 

''Er, it's priced at £3, pal. I'll let you have it for £2.50''

 

''I'll give you 50p, mate.''

 

''Eff off.''

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Reminds me of something I posted on another forum a couple of years ago. I'd had a FUN DAY manning a charity stall at a car boot sale. 
 

Visitor 1: How much for the camera?

Me: Two quid.

Visitor 1 examines camera for three minutes

Visitor 1: It takes the big memory cards

Me: Compact Flash.

Visitor 1 continues to block stall while mulling over the life altering decision of whether or not to buy a £2 Nikon Coolpix

Me: It is a very good camera.

Visitor 1 leaves without camera.

 

Visitor 2: How much is the camera?

Me: Two quid

Visitor 2 reacts as if he has discovered a Picasso in a skip, until he opens the battery door

Visitor 2: Oh, it doesn't have any batteries

Me: It takes rechargable AAs.

Visitor 2 leaves.

 

Visitor 3: How much is the camera?

Me: two quid, it is a very good camera

Visitor 3: It's rather old

Me: Yes, this is why it is nestled between Friends VHSes on a pasting table and not on a rotating plinth in Jessops

Visitor 3 leaves

 

Visitor 1 returns to re-appraise the camera. Unfortnately it has not yet evolved an SD card slot. Visitor 1 leaves.

 

Visitor 4: Would you take a quid for the camera?

Me: Yes

Visitor 4's wife mutters something to him, apparently another stall has a Nikon D800 for five pence

Visitor 4: Oh, never mind.

Me: DIE IN A DITCH (not out loud)

 

Visitor 1 walks past slowly

 

I return home and put camera back in drawer.

[Cavcraft]

It's all a game. You generally get to know if people really want something or not. I often find if someone makes an offer that just saying 'ok thanks anyhow' works. They either have to poss or get off the pot and the moment they either come back or reply you've generally got your money.

[RedSparrow]

This chap has uploaded some old John Shuttleworth TV shows which I haven't seen for ages...

Currently watching Europigeon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELm9ojKMGGY

 

Looks like he's put 500 bus stops up too.

[AnthonyG]

Collecting a few piles of early 1970s car magazines from Messerschmidt owner, and seeing his collection of microcars and French chod. And a superb cup of tea into the bargain! Cheers MO!

 

Amazing how excited journalists got about the Vauxhall Firenza, judged by the number of road tests they did on them.

[Pillock]

Next time put some 50p alkaline batteries in the camera and charge £5. The batteries will last for approx. one picture.

 

I've got to do a car boot sale soon. Loads of books but they don't seem to sell well here, and it's a pain lugging them around. Loads of computer bits, tools out the shed.... Trouble is a lot of stuff needs electrickery which is hard to get in a field so people pay as though it's assumed duff.

[TimothyClaypole]

"I'll be here next week".  Sorted. 

 

 

How much for the books?

 

£3.00

 

I couldn't possibly pay more than £1.00

 

Ok they are still £3.00

 

He bought some bars of soap instead...

 

 

Another buyer was haggling over some metal light switches/sockets wanting them for nothing so I put a bag over my head and told him I'd rather suffocate myself than sell them for that price. 

 

I made over £200 at the last one I went to but that was giving stuff away almost, that I'd got for free - I couldn't do it with stuff I'd bought, people are just peasants at them these days.  I liked the idea they ran off thinking they'd got a bargain and robbed me blind while laughing as I counted the 100% profit. 

[Pete-M]

Jag has a brilliant curry hook.

[drum]

My dad is a car man. In the sixties he had a couple of jags and an Austin Atlantic. When us sprogs came along he got volvos. The first was a 145S, reg TUS 604G. He still has a V70 diesel.

 

Anyways, after 40 odd years of sensible family cars and at the age of 73, he turned up at my door last night in this.

 

 

It's a V12 6 litre and it's lovely.

 

Mum says she's been living off tesco blue label for years and dad goes and spends their savings on this!

After a lifetime of scrimping on an agricultural wage, he deserves a wee treat to himself. Only problem is he's a bit self conscious about driving it.

[Cavcraft]

That's just fabulous.

[r.welfare]

What a beauty! The facelift models, in the right colour and on the right wheels (like this one) look fabulous.