What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[High Jetter]

6 hours ago, Wibble said:

she feels guilty about.

She has no need to - if he's done that so early in this employment he'd probably have ruined the firm by the Autumn.

[S2000]

6 hours ago, Wibble said:

Mrs W got awarded employee of the month today. She works in accounts and wasn’t happy with an invoice for facility services. Turned out a new start manager had signed a contract for £70k a month, for 5 years with a national supplier, without approval, when they were only paying £2k a month to a local firm before. 
Her reward? £50, a certificate and an invite to the “stars” awards night next February. She is happy that she’s spotted it, protected her colleague’s jobs but the new start manager has been dismissed, which she feels guilty about. Well done her though, she could have  just paid it, as it had been approved, but she knew it wasn’t right.

One of my hats I wear is that of a ‘Forensic Accountant’ and the due diligence of people such as your wife helps to prevent things such as fraud…… not even some AI algorithms would spot that!

[Bmwdumptruck]

Only £50 though, when she’s saved the company nearly £500,000!!  Well done her, but piss poor of the company really. 

[Wibble]

7 minutes ago, Bmwdumptruck said:

Only £50 though, when she’s saved the company nearly £500,000!!  Well done her, but piss poor of the company really. 

It was a 5 year contract so saving £4.2m. Makes the £50 look even more derisory.

[Bmwdumptruck]

Oh so it is, my quick ‘add up’ got to £420,000, but yes I was a decimal point out.  At £4.2M it makes £50 really derisory.  I suppose they’ll say that it’s part of her job description as the company accountant!!!

[Wibble]

7 hours ago, Bmwdumptruck said:

Oh so it is, my quick ‘add up’ got to £420,000, but yes I was a decimal point out.  At £4.2M it makes £50 really derisory.  I suppose they’ll say that it’s part of her job description as the company accountant!!!

She’s a purchase ledger clerk, her manager is the accountant and wasn’t in the day she spotted it and nominated her for the award for averting the disaster.

[camryv6]

1 hour ago, Wibble said:

She’s a purchase ledger clerk, her manager is the accountant and wasn’t in the day she spotted it and nominated her for the award for averting the disaster.

So was the new Manager trying to fraud the company ?

[Wibble]

3 minutes ago, camryv6 said:

So was the new Manager trying to fraud the company ?

Can’t say for certain but certainly looks suspicious. He was a manager in another department.

[DavieW]

Wife's work colleague occasionally gets some words wrong/mixed up and therefore comes out with some crackers. 

Yesterdays one: they have 5 new staff starting over the next month or so and she came out with "I didn't know the new starts were so intimate". My wife corrected her and told her the word she meant was "imminent". 

[320touring]

With thanks to @davidfowler2000 for his help, we got the Burd's MK1 cab all cleaned up, polished and waxed 

 

Here it is with it's great great great great great grandson...

[beko1987]

11 hours ago, S2000 said:

One of my hats I wear is that of a ‘Forensic Accountant’ 

I've got one of those running me ragged atm 😂 Lovely lady, she's our head of finance in the dept and part of the main group finance team.

5 years ago she had a vision. A whole new order to cash system custom built to her specifications.

Today I've been learning about product codes and profit centre's and department codes and job order codes. We're at the point where we stitch our part of dynamics where this is built into the main group one and we're testing end to end now.

I fucking hate numbers and she was flying through things constantly, has been for days 😂

Shame she didn't pay a bit more attention when writing the spec or we'd have gone live 19 months ago but meh, not my problem 🤷

I got to correct her this morning. The system does it like x as per the spec. Guess what went in as an rfc 2 hours later 🙄

[Rustybullethole]

Table saw from @Cookiesouwest and workbench is one of the two from @Kiltox

One workbench is in the workshop and this one sits outside, both have been well used and will be for years to come. 

First chance is i've had to put the table saw together and bloody good it is too. The ability to rip with ease makes loads of stuff possible that wasn't before.

Much appreciated chaps, it's a real blessing when monies tight.

 

 

 

[hairnet]

wanted to go to a gig (been to same in worcester not long ago but shit has changed) so wasnt sure if up to it

but no band this time so stuff will be different 

and there was no local apart from selby which was sold out

didnt want to do scotland as atm HOW FUCKING FAR!!!!

and im not scared of a few miles (was only at menin gate two weeks ago ffs)

the sctsch were new galloway (been castle douglas for summat else)

dunkeld

or forres

i love the aberdeenshire/moray coast but dont fancy it from here in the car (proclaimers) and fly was more than @beko1987s tabs bill

and ive not been on a long trip like that for 12 months (irish shit doesnt count)

so dont wanna bike it

so rang selby as their site said no internet please ring (cos y'know - maybe)

no but we'll put ya on the list

that was at lunch time and thought feck it they might ring next week

so started planning for new galloway but avoiding the m6 (still with me - cool )

here to scouse boat to the titanic builders then do the stuff i missed in the maps down there (yeah i know but)

then stop then boat to cairnryan the next morning fart about and be at the gig in the evening then home the next day

but they rang me up at half 6 and said we have a ticket do ya...............

i said yes please before hed finished his sentence

oh and why do this?

the plain to abz was nearly 300 inverness not far off

the train was 150 quid and not even first class

even the train to dumfries is 80 and youre still 30 miles from the place with no transport - on a sunday yeah good luck with that

the ferry to scouse then scotland was 111 euros

oh and mileage? - to galloway 180 plus pottering each way

via ireland less than 100

dunkeld was 240 each way have done perth previous anyway and the place i wanted to stay wasnt available

thank you for listening

[DavieW]

14 hours ago, DavieW said:

Wife's work colleague occasionally gets some words wrong/mixed up and therefore comes out with some crackers. 

Yesterdays one: they have 5 new staff starting over the next month or so and she came out with "I didn't know the new starts were so intimate". My wife corrected her and told her the word she meant was "imminent". 

Another from a couple of weeks ago. 

"My mother-in-law is so erotic".  That surprised my wife for a bit until she realised she meant "neurotic".

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, DavieW said:

Another from a couple of weeks ago. 

"My mother-in-law is so erotic".  That surprised my wife for a bit until she realised she meant "neurotic".

No, that’s called a Freudian slip.

[myglaren]

 

[hairnet]

for anyone going on a collection this weekend

can i be jealous of your poo count

ta

[hairnet]

12 miles from x to an town

only the last small bit into the town has a limit so 15 mins?

cant use a train as it just doesnt

bus takes...............(not including the 20 mins to walk to the bus stop)

1 hour 24

the actual?

 

[beko1987]

1 hour ago, hairnet said:

for anyone going on a collection this weekend

can i be jealous of your poo count

ta

Treat yourself to a nice vindaloo 👌

[Remspoor]

5 minutes ago, beko1987 said:

Treat yourself to a nice vindaloo 👌

this.

[hairnet]

8 minutes ago, beko1987 said:

Treat yourself to a nice vindaloo 👌

im not that desperate/awash with money

its not a constipation issue - if i wanted to shit myself id find a small hole or a room with no lights

[hairnet]

RELIABLE HONDA ENGINE

 

[andy18s]

Must have been an AstraMax. . 

[320touring]

The Zoe has grown a pair...

[EyesWeldedShut]

Googling to find an old mate’s house and found this in one of their fields. Rich* farmers eh?

Less amusing is that my old school now has an athletics arena named in memory of their late Head of PE. He was a pupil there too - same class as me. He died aged 59. 
Carpe diem and all that.

 

[808 Estate]

[hairnet]

pointless celebrities

yes apart from claire balding and ross and christina trevanion 

no idea

but balding and friend on 147 after two goes

the question?

medal winning nations at 2022 world athletics

what can she cover sometimes?

athletics

called out on tv lmao

[hairnet]

commitments bbc2 in a bit

'

• Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr.: Is this the band then? Betcha U2 are shittin' themselves.

🤣

[hairnet]

grosse sex wee

15:47 and 19:46 

that beemer is the sex

[DavieW]

1 hour ago, hairnet said:

pointless celebrities

yes apart from claire balding and ross and christina trevanion 

no idea

but balding and friend on 147 after two goes

the question?

medal winning nations at 2022 world athletics

what can she cover sometimes?

athletics

called out on tv lmao

I always laugh when I see Pointless Celebrities on the TV listing - sums 99% of them up perfectly.