What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[cobblers]

I've got CCTV at home and I keep an eye on it while I'm at work because of problems with the neighbours.

Anyway , late afternoon I clicked on kitchen cam and saw the dog sat on the chair our lass dragged in off the garden last night. Which means they've worked out how to work doorknobs as well as handles (I changed the handles to knobs) because we usually keep them upstairs if we're both at work.

 

It's bad news cos they really can't be trusted in the kitchen or living room so I was expecting to come home to a destroyed sofa and the bin turned over etc etc

 

Anyway I walked into the house and there was no scene of destruction - the sofa was fine, but one of them had found a bag of coffee beans and ripped it open, it was all over the floor in the living room. Absolutely shit myself because it's deadly and they love it, so I picked every bean up and weighed them, 196g out of a 200g bag. Turns out thats about 10% of what's really bad news for 9kg whippets.

It was pretty easy to guess which dog ate them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyfN0CaF5N8

 

He's just about calmed down now after doing 7 shits.

 

[xtriple]

I have successfully cut my smoking by 50% for over a week! This may be pathetic really, but it's a major achievement for me. Today was a 'bad day' and I may have crept over the arbitrary figure I have set myself for fags for the day, but guilt and fear of bankruptcy seems to have me back on track tonight.

[STUNO]

Just went to buy an oil filter for the Mazda. The lady in front of me wanted a new bulb for a tail light. She then got all upset because the new one the assistant put on the counter beside her old one was different ." It's not black like the one I brought in" was the substance of the problem.     

[purplebargeken]

Jazzed up on Java eh?

[Supernaut]

After my grumps yesterday evening I went for a drive.

 

I left the house just before 8pm and got back at 10pm. I went over the Cairn O Mount in the dark, which was interesting, and got some random experimental (i.e. shit) long exposure photos at the top.

 

On the way back into Aberdeen I saw a hilariously borked 08/09 plate Mazda 2. The only working brake light was the high-level one. The reverse lights were illuminated as if they were the tail lights, and when they indicated, the corresponding brake light flashed. They were utterly caning it along the A90. I was doing an indicated 80mph and they were just fucking off over the horizon. I caught up with them once the speed limit dropped to 40mph, and was behind them for a couple of miles, laughing the whole way.

 

I've seen similar on old transits because of earth faults, but the lights on this Mazda were lighting up perfectly clearly, not like an earth fault.

[strangeangel]

The internet is a peculiar place inhabited by strange people. Where else would I get gems like this from the Princess forum after the recent light install update.

 

Im sorry to say this because you have put a lot of work into this car it is a shed the best thing you could do with it is crush it it should never be allowed on the road.i know you wont like my comment but its only my opinion. any way good luck with your prodject.

 

 

 

What an absolute tool. I know he won't like my comment but it's only my opinion.

[strangeangel]

500 mile round trip in the BX to see Wales stuff Moldova

[Supernaut]

It's freshers week, and it's very sunny today.

 

There's a lot to look at while wandering around campus.

[burraston2006]

It's freshers week, and it's very sunny today.

 

There's a lot to look at while wandering around campus.

Used to love find a friend week back when I was at uni. Happy days!!

[Supernaut]

Yeah, but I'm staff and have been for 3 years.

 

I'm only in IT, and have actually dated students in the past, but no, baaaad!

[xtriple]

Just bought two car covers (for the dollop and MX5) for £24 delivered. I think that's a result especially as one of them is XXL as the Bentley is a tiny bit loooooonnnnng! Only for use in the garage so no worries if they are a bit flimsy and, as a bonus, they both have 'ears' for the mirrors.

 

Note: I need to cover them inside the garage as something (might be bats, maybe, possibly) is shitting on the roofs and boot/bonnets and they also sometimes get attacked by snails, although they seem to have buggered off/died since I cleaned the garage.

 

Oh yeah, tonight I am going to be 'photographers assistant' down on the beach for another article in a mag... beaches are were people take pictures of girls in bikinis, right?

[burraston2006]

 

 

Note: I need to cover them inside the garage as  they  sometimes get attacked by snails, although they seem to have buggered off/died since I cleaned the garage.

 

 

Sprinkle the floor with dishwasher salt. Big crystals so shouldn't stick to the beasts but it will still kill the slugs/snails. It seems to work on my paths etc around the house.

[xtriple]

Sprinkle the floor with dishwasher salt. Big crystals so shouldn't stick to the beasts but it will still kill the slugs/snails. It seems to work on my paths etc around the house.

Can't do that! As much as I hate the slimy little bastards using my cars as their version of 'Eurodisney' I am an animallovingpacifistnonmeateating liberalleftie!   Hate killing slugs/snails when out walking the dogs at night - did you know that's why Buddhists chant?

[beko1987]

Sat behind this leaving work

 

 

And then sung it all the way home!

[richardmorris]

Luxonandcross?

[Alfamale]

Stolen from the book of faces:

[Tayne]

Luxonandcross?

DILLIGAF.

 

Do I look like I give a fuck?

 

It makes me chuckle, but I wouldn't hire them in a million years.

[richardmorris]

Still don't understand the joke, i expect it's the alcohol.

 

 

Sorry, just noticed The capitals under the number plate. Didn't have the glasses on!

[Tayne]

[fordperv]

got bored at work earlier so did this, caused a few chuckles

 

[myglaren]

Can't do that! As much as I hate the slimy little bastards using my cars as their version of 'Eurodisney' I am an animallovingpacifistnonmeateating liberalleftie!   Hate killing slugs/snails when out walking the dogs at night - did you know that's why Buddhists chant?

They don't like copper and won't cross it - you can buy self adhesive copper tape but it is unlikely to be suitable for your purposes but perhaps some 15mm copper water pipe laid on the floor around the Bentley would suffice.

 

I have yet to put this theory into practice - I get lots of them and despise them with a passion.

I do get through a lot of salt though.

[UmBongo]

There was a snack van at Bo'ness Hill Climb selling chips & mince AND mince & chips.

 

I'm sure they were both delicious but I did not partake.

[michael1703]

I've got a builder who is a customer, he has a builders van sign written with company name and what type of work they do, but instead of a phone number there is a slogan of "don't call us,we're too busy" and no phone number,email address or website address.

 

He's booked up for months

[purplebargeken]

Snails/slugs cause lungworm in dogs. Don't like the slimy bastards.

[dome]

There was a snack van at Bo'ness Hill Climb selling chips & mince AND mince & chips.

 

I'm sure they were both delicious but I did not partake.

I was there and wandered up to a snack van advertising "Healthy Snacks"

 

And yes I came away with chips and mince. Was lovely!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I don’t want to diss the boys in Solihull but I couldn’t help grinning at this ridiculous ‘breakthrough’ that’s coming on the new Discovery. They have developed a ‘Seat Folder app’ that allows you to remotely configure the seats in your Disco through your smartphone from anywhere in the world! I hope customers like it, but if ever there was something that sounded like utterly needless use of technology for the sake of it, this is it. The only good use I can think of is, if Mrs Disco is away from home for a few days she could fold all the seats flat during the night from her phone so that when Mr Disco gets up in the morning and tries to go somewhere in it he has to spend 30 secs sorting it all out. Or maybe she could put the drivers seat all the way forwards while Mr Disco is driving so that he is crushed to death ‘Christine’ style, actually she could do this while sitting up all rosy-cheeked and messy haired in the bed of the man she is having an affair with for an added ‘ironic twist’.

 

http://www.autocar.co.uk/car-news/new-cars/2017-land-rover-discovery-confirmed-intelligent-seat-fold-tech

 

Who in gods name needs to use their flippin phone to remotely adjust their car seats when they are not even in the car? The mind boggles.

[Kiltox]

Sounds like a massive security risk to me

[Spottedlaurel]

I don’t want to diss the boys in Solihull but I couldn’t help grinning at this ridiculous ‘breakthrough’ that’s coming on the new Discovery. They have developed a ‘Seat Folder app’..........

 

It’s kept some engineers in employment somewhere……

[cort16]

They figured out all the good stuff ages ago like aircon, remote central locking ABS, traction control and the like They're just nobbing around coming up with useless features to sell to tech hungry numpties like radar guided cup holders, night vision gear knobs and air conditioned tyres.

 

 

Also who keep their phone on their arm?

 

[Negative Creep]

Sounds like a good excuse for #EPIC BANTZ by constantly moving your friend's seats all the way forward so they can't get in