The new news 24 thread

[twosmoke300]

Michael t , tis nice to have a good clear up. Good for the soul, just wish I had time.

 

Oh and if you move your vice forward til the rear jaw is proud of the edge of the bench you will be able to drop long items down to the floor and clamp them up.

[richardmorris]

Hazard perception is all very well, but far too many drivers see a hazard and fail to do anything sensible about it. Or blithely ignore it.  It's the Thatcher generation of I'm All right Jack, sod you mentality. Well round here in Surrey anyway. On my bike I may as well be invisible - Yes right arm raised after checking behind means I wish to turn right, not please go ahead and overtake over the speed limit. Next person doing that is going to get a D lock through the windscreen. Virtually no-one seems to know that solid white lines mean no overtaking, yes that includes a bike if travelling over 10mph. BBC got that wrong recently too.

 

Oh, and mini-roundabouts operate a give way to the right too. Idiots.

[cort16]

I own 4 BMW's. One has a terrible oil leak, one has a crippling misfire another has no tax. The only one road worthy is this red 318i, which is now my daily driver until the 5 series is fixed (at which point it's getting sold as it's shite)

I've had loads of BMW's but have never had a 4 pot one as I always thought the whole point of BMW's is to have the supa-smooth straight six. This is an 8v 318 so actually a 1.9 thanks to BMW's love of farting around with engine sizes and badges.. I think it puts out about 115bhp and does 0-60 in 10 and a bit seconds. Fine in a 4 door saloon but it must be a bit depressing in a Z3. The gold one I've got is a 316i auto, which has the same 1.9 but with a mind boggling 104bhp. I'm sure it'll be a ball of fire once it stops misfiring.

 

First impressions are pretty good. It feels pretty nippy off the line and revs well but if you're used to BMW's with the VANOS vvt setup then you expect a step up in performance at about 4000rpm, which you don't get with this. It still goes in an acceptable enough fashion mind you and seems to be doing about 38mpg, which straight six BMW's can only dream of. I recon the 16v 318is is probably the right compromise as you get an extra 20bhp but still get decent fuel economy.

 

This one has got 135k on it but it drives really well. It doesn't even have the 56mph shimmy that seems to be a curse of pretty much all BMW's over 5 years old although my theory that all rwd cars are death traps was re-confirmed when it let go on a wet round about on the way back from tescos when I was doing about 20mph.

Interior wise this is a bit of a bogo model so no leather, no computer, no rear elecy windows and plain trim. This is the exact opposite of the gold one I've got, who's interior looks like Vegas Elvis's underpants.

Anyway I recon the dash on this model of 3 series is a great design and way superior to anything that came after as far as BMW's are concerned. It's got that nice soft touch dash, all the buttons are in the right place, the dials are nice and simple and it slightly faces the driver, which I always think lets any passenger know that the journey IS NOT a democracy.

 

This one is pretty mintola other than a wee dent on the wing. The colour is hell rot red, which I recon is a winner on these things.

 

It's also for sale for £750 if any one wants it. It's got a years MOT and taxed until August. Call me.

 

[cobblers]

If I was on my mountain bike going 15mph on a road with a single white line I would bloody well hope that any following cars would just cruise past me, just as I would if I was driving and came across a bike doing the same. Why should one bloke on a bike hold up any number of cars? Sod that.

[Skizzer]

cort16, I love that you bought 3 more BMWs in one go.  It makes me feel a lot better about myself.  GLWTS.

[cort16]

Luckily I can keep them all down at my lockup or I'd be sleeping in one of them if they were all parked out the front of the house.

[cort16]

Yip the 316 is an auto . I'm hoping I'll get the car back this week.

[beko1987]

Hazard perception is all very well, but far too many drivers see a hazard and fail to do anything sensible about it. Or blithely ignore it. It's the Thatcher generation of I'm All right Jack, sod you mentality. Well round here in Surrey anyway. On my bike I may as well be invisible - Yes right arm raised after checking behind means I wish to turn right, not please go ahead and overtake over the speed limit. Next person doing that is going to get a D lock through the windscreen. Virtually no-one seems to know that solid white lines mean no overtaking, yes that includes a bike if travelling over 10mph. BBC got that wrong recently too.

 

Oh, and mini-roundabouts operate a give way to the right too. Idiots.

I kept doing shit at the hazard perception as I'd click on stuff I thought would turn nasty and it didn't... Was tricky as not having driven before everything looked like a hazard.

 

Torrented the DSA theory DVD in the end and just memorised all the hazards. The questions were common sensical but there was a lot of mobile phone shit thrown in, often the same question just written a different way.

[beko1987]

Yip the 316 is an auto . I'm hoping I'll get the car back this week.

My mates always run 316s and swears by them (mainly because he's fixed pretty much everything on them over the years so knows what to do). Have been tempted.

[wuvvum]

I got the offside drop link done on the Rover today.  What a fucking effort that was.  The bottom bolt actually wasn't too bad in the end - once I'd scraped all the muck off the bottom pin I discovered there was a flat bit machined into it which allowed me to get a 14mm spanner on it.  I jammed the spanner up behind the strut and got the breaker bar on the nut and with a bit of heaving it came undone. 

 

The top nut was more of a pain - besides being almost impossible to get at, it was rusted almost solid.  I did manage to get a 15mm open-ended spanner on the nut after scraping it as clean as possible given the lack of access, but bugger me was it a bitch to get undone.  I ended up holding the link in position with the aforementioned 14mm spanner with a 3' length of old Renault 6 exhaust pipe as a makeshift scaffold pole, and then heaving against the 15mm spanner with my foot.  I got about an inch of movement each time before having to reposition the link with the 14mm spanner so I could get the 15mm back on for another 1/16 turn of movement.  It got a bit easier once the nut was halfway undone as the link had dropped far enough down that I could manoeuvre the ring end of the spanner onto the nut.  I almost gave up and took the grinder to it, but I got there in the end.

 

The new link went on no problem at all - except that being a pattern part, it only has a flat bit machined into the bottom pin, not the top one.  So I had to hold the top pin with mole grips to tighten it - worked OK, but I pity the poor fecker who has to get it undone when the new link eventually fails - hopefully several years down the line.

 

Didn't have the energy to do the nearside as well, so I put everything back together and stuck the car back on the car park, then pulled the Innocenti onto the drive and chucked a bucket of soapy water over it to get rid of the cobwebs.  I really must pull my finger out and get that car back on the road.  And the Talbot.  And the Renault 6.  And the van.  And the Volvo.  It's going to be an expensive summer...

[Skizzer]

^ I feel your pain, Wuv.

 

 

I kept doing shit at the hazard perception as I'd click on stuff I thought would turn nasty and it didn't... Was tricky as not having driven before everything looked like a hazard.
 

 

I did this too, when I did my motorbike test a few years ago.  When you're learning to ride a motorbike in west London, everything is a hazard, because everyone is trying to kill you.  

 

Parked van? Click.

Side road that cyclist could come flying out of without looking?  Click.

Taxi on opposite side of road from pedestrian that might hail it?  Click.

BMW X5? CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK.

 

(When I did my car test there wasn't a hazard perception test as they'd only just invented computers, and they sure as hell couldn't run movies on them.)

[richardmorris]

If I was on my mountain bike going 15mph on a road with a single white line I would bloody well hope that any following cars would just cruise past me, just as I would if I was driving and came across a bike doing the same. Why should one bloke on a bike hold up any number of cars? Sod that.

 

 

I don't mind cars overtaking across white lines when safe to do so - I do it myself and it's far better than trying to pass without crossing the lines. But generally double white lines are there for a reason and one set of S bends near work there are no sight lines to see cars coming the other way at speed.  There's a car in the ditch there at least once a month. Usually BMWs.

[Pillock]

Hazard perception is shit. I had five accidents in my first three months of driving, every time I was in the car and I saw someone about to pull out from a side turning I clicked the button on my mouse I took with me but nothing bloody happened.

[phil_lihp]

So I've somehow managed to buy another Honda CG125 which I need to pick up as soon as I've handed the 220 over in Taunton.  This actually works out pretty well although my CBT won't be renewed for a couple of weeks and it's not taxed as the V5 is absent so I will need to find a chap with a van.  It's an actual *barn find* off the road since 1997 but the seller says it'll have a new MOT for collection.

 

I have plans for this one involving a tent, sleeping bag and the north of France.  What could possibly go wrong?

[beko1987]

I don't mind cars overtaking across white lines when safe to do so - I do it myself and it's far better than trying to pass without crossing the lines. But generally double white lines are there for a reason and one set of S bends near work there are no sight lines to see cars coming the other way at speed. There's a car in the ditch there at least once a month. Usually BMWs.

There's a bit on my way home that I usually go slow through as there's normally a cyclist or something that needs caution, the amount of dickheads that then try to go past me presuming I'm a slow twat before aborting and pulling back is quite funny.

 

Their usually so busy trying to blend in and not make eye contact with me laughing at the rear view mirror that I loose them on the straight bit afterwards as they presume I drive a slow car...

 

Don't fuck with local knowledge tourists...

[trigger]

Ive been out and spent £40 on one of these Waxoyl high pressure pump sprayers and a 2.5L can of oil, assembled it all, jacked the front of the Civic up to do under the front wings and does this poxy pump work... No.

 

I've dribbled waxoil all over my grass, over my drive and all up my trousers and have i actually got any on the car... No.

 

What a lot of shit, it doesn't even spray out the nozzle!

[dollywobbler]

Bilt Hamber Dynax S50 is what you want. Comes in an aerosol with a lance, to get into box sections. Those Waxoyl pumps are a load of toss. From what I remember though, you have to either thin the Waxoyl with thinners or heat it up to get it runny enough to work with the pump. I spent ages many years ago faffing around with a tin of Waxoyl in a bucket.

 

In my news, it was sunny, so I got the 2CV out of the garage and visited a local friend who's just bought an Austin 3-Litre. Marvellous. What a ridiculous looking executive car. Wafted around in that for a bit, then came home and fixed the petrol lawn mower. Huzzah!

 

EDIT - now with picture.

[purplebargeken]

My lower lip has become the new home for the worlds population of cold sores. Just wonderful!

[RobT]

Trig, with the Waxoyl the best way is to put the can in a bucket of hot water to loosen it up, and then bung some white spirit in later once to heat has lost effect. Is a bit of a faff but will work then.

[trigger]

I done the hot water trick which seemed to work, the trouble was i had no control over the sprayer as the on/off lever didn't seem to work and it just continually kept squirting out the end of the lance, it's made a right old mess so I've cleaned it all over and packed it away where it will no doubt sit now for the next 10 years.

[richardmorris]

As above - I'd use about 20% white spirit mixed in too. Also another tip is not to do it on your own driveway and buy one of those disposable paper boiler suits. It's a bit of a faff and very dirty, but strangely satisfying when you get it to work. I don't use it inside the cars though - too easy to miss the area or hole you're aiming for. I bought a couple of dintitrol rattle cans at Beaulieu with a two foot probe for using inside the cars - a lot dearer, but far cleaner.

People knock waxoyl but anything's better than nothing.

[tooSavvy]

Today I had to travel from Newcastle to Teesside/ to Workington /return to Newcastle - on call working - I saw only one piece of Chod... a Light bronze 'Sweeney' Grannie, on the A66.

 

Slim pickinns 

 

 

TS

[TimothyClaypole]

Just agreed to buy something on Ebay that I don't want because of something else included in some of the pictures on the listing. 

[DVee8]

My modern served me a treat today heading through Wear Dale today,sheep roaming free a couple of Girls walking a dog on one of those extending leads,let the dog go,a sheep close to the road panicked and shot in front of me.I breaker hard swerved the electronic´s did the rest what ever esp and other acronym do I avoided the sheep and the on coming cyclists.I pulled over to check the car and calm the kids.The 2girls just looked at us,as if it was my fault. Not all moderns are.

[fordperv]

Timothyclaypole I had someone do this when I was selling a nova gte front bumper, skirts and 2 grilles as a job lot on ebay, he paid his winning price told me to keep the front bumper and the 2 grilles because he only wanted the skirts

[wuvvum]

I got the other drop link done this afternoon.  I almost failed before I even started though - because I am a complete and utter GIBBERING FUCKTARD I'd left the locking wheelnut key on the locking wheel nut yesterday.  Fortunately I'd only driven about 200 yards since then, so ten minutes of walking slowly down the road looking like a twonk and I found it lying in a gutter.

 

It went a bit quicker second time round, as these jobs are wont to do - I'd got the two spanners and the Renault 6 exhaust down to a fine art, although of course the movements were all the opposite way round to yesterday, so I ended up bracing the spanner holding the top nut against the chassis rail and heaving on the spanner holding the link with the exhaust.  If anything it was even tighter than the other side.  I have a half-decent set of chrome vanadium spanners, but they only go up to 14mm then jump to 17 and then 19.  I have a nice expensive 16mm spanner that I bought to get the brake calipers off the 164, but the only 15mm I have is a cheapo drop forged job, and it was bending alarmingly at times.  It didn't snap though, and I eventually got the nut all the way undone.  New link went on a piece of piss (after hacksawing 1/2" off the top thread as it was too long and fouling on the spring seat), and I put everything back together and then put the locking wheelnut key safely back in its recess under the boot floor.

 

My next job was to continue the hunt for the flasher relay on the 164, which has packed up.  I'd dismantled half the dashboard trying to find it.  Climbed in the driver's seat this afternoon ahd there it was staring right at me, tucked against a metal support just below where the ashtray sits.  I'd dismantled the dash sitting in the passenger seat, 'cos more room, and from there the relay was completely hidden.   I've ordered it a new relay off eBay (all of four quid) so it should soon be a (small) step closer to being back on the road...

 

Then I had a bash at unblocking the screen wash jets on the Solara.  No joy - the compressor just blew the pipes off the jets, and even pulling the jets off and dropping them in acid for a couple of hours didn't help.  Still, new jets aren't exactly expensive.

 

Didn't get a lot else done shite-fettling-wise.  I pulled the heater control knob off in the Rover of Doom and got a pair of pliers on the shaft to turn the heater off, as it's got a bit stiff from standing for nearly two years and the knob wasn't man enough to cope.  I also put the Innocenti up on the ramps and scraped all the manky old gun gum off from round the holes in the exhaust - it's going to need a proper bandage I think.  The local motor factors do a Carplan one which is actually quite good - it sticks to itself easily, and the wire they provide to hold it in place can actually be bent into position, unlike the crappy thing you get in a Gun Gum bandage.  Only drawback is it takes about an hour to get the resin (which bears a striking resemblance to tar) off your hands afterwards.

[cort16]

you've got a 164? how did I miss that?

[messerschmitt owner]

Killed the dispatch yesterday. Bang and loss of turbo. Still running but smokey as hell. The drive through the low emission zone to northolt where I called the breakdown company with a smoke screen from the rear was the most satisfying drive for a while.

 

It'll be off to the garage tomorrow for a look see as the turbo is impossible to see without a ramp. I think it's fecked though. Will come back home for breaking so I can pull the recent tyres and almost new exhaust off it.

 

Further news tomorrow after I left a note for my boss calling him an ineffectual monkey and can he make me redundant as his new job offer sucked. Can't wait for my phone call from him as I'm on my hols till Friday.

[wuvvum]

you've got a 164? how did I miss that?

To be fair, it's been off the road for nearly seven years now.   I dragged it home last summer and stuck it on the drive in the hope that it'd make me get my arse in gear and sort it, but since then all I've done to it is fit a new fuel pump, a new screenwash pump and new wiper blades.  The main issue is it has no brakes (apart from the handbrake) - the front calipers are seized solid.

 

Here it is in happier times:

 

[cort16]

Wow I'm even more impressed I thought it was an Alfa 164! That looks great you need to get it back on the road .