The new news 24 thread

[mercrocker]

Mrs Rocker managed to take down an entire dwarf wall with that precise point on her 190E.  Not a scratch.   Sorry that doesn't help......

[puddlethumper]

Had some sparkly work done the other day. 

 

 

This is what the inside of the panels ended up like after condensation

got in behind the textile faced foam that had been glued on.

 

 

At some point, before I got it, someone had decided to hook the 

glass out and fill the holes in. Probably so it could be registered

as a commercial and used as a business expense.

Shame really as I would've loved a 3 door estate coz they are 

for winnaz as we all know.

Took a few years to find a couple of good panels but thanks to D Spares

who found a van, on a farm, which became a good donor.  Cheers Tom.

 

 

This is how the outside looked. Nice eh ? Got my mate Alan, who is brilliant at

vehicle stuff and has at least a dozen yanks, the latest being a pale green

and white Impala, to wave the sparkly stick at it.

Note the festive fairy lights.

 

 

Nice hole.

 

 

and no hole.

 

Both sides done. Chuffed as fuck. He's going to do the rear arch, as you

can see above, soon as well. Top bloke and not expensive.

 

 

 

 

[richardmorris]

Just dried out the Mercedes as there was a lot of condensation on the windows. Turns out it’s because it’s now about ten degrees colder than when I used it this morning. Frosty tomorrow, and a nice sunset for Christmas Eve.

[Asimo]

Washed the fleet. It's years since they were all clean at the same time.

 

 

Dehumidifier in the van as I was a bit careless doing the door sills. Paint washed off the van roof so I'll have to get up there with a brush next spring. I did remember to push the Insight forward a few feet to wash the part of the wheels hidden by the spats.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Oh for fuck's sake.

 

 

My own fault, I like to park the car as close to the wall as possible so it's not blocking the front door of the house and just mis-judged it. In perfect dry sunny conditions. Idiot.

At least the damage seems confined to the trim piece - that pops off. Could fit reversing sensors while you are at it (standard fit are in the trim bit you are replacing)

 

Sent from my TA-1012 using Tapatalk

[SierraMikeHotel]

That's good to know!

[They_all_do_that_sir]

That's good to know!

Dont ask me how I know

 

Sent from my TA-1012 using Tapatalk

[tooSavvy]

Gatwick police made several arrests at lunchtime today..

 

Suspects, wearing brightly coloured paper hats, were led away whilst 'suspicious' aerial devices were confiscated.

 

 

Many were overheard protesting "we purchased these crackers at Tesco, we're innocent!"

 

SAS later raided a huge out of town warehouse but no further crackers were found..

A Tesco spokesman said "We aren't surprised, we always ensure all our stock goes before Xmas - Every little helps"

[vulgalour]

Since I'm not doing anything else today, I thought I'd have a go at dismantling the spare rear suspension units for the Princess.  FAILED.  All of the pivot shafts are completely seized and my tools are neither man enough nor produce enough heat to free them off.  Disappoint.

 

Still, it was nice driving around on roads that were mostly deserted and the new magic box ignition thingy has made the Princess chug along a fair bit smoother than the knackered condenser, so I'm happy about that so far.

[cros]

Festive indulgence all afternoon, I've been pulling my propshaft.

Will have to de-barnacle under here by the look of things.

[Shep Shepherd]

Was on my own at work all day today (no problem, as I can't stand this time of year), so not only was The Volvo the oldest car in the car park (as per usual), it was also the only car in the car park:

 

 

The new rear brakes are bedding in nicely now that I've driven the car around 100 miles since I got it back from the garage. I'm still really glad that I didn't try to replace them myself!

[155V6]

#Fordfanboi

 

My donor Puma has 14 inch Peugeot steels now to balance that out 

[cros]

Was on my own at work all day today (no problem, as I can't stand this time of year), so not only was The Volvo the oldest car in the car park (as per usual), it was also the only car in the car park:

 

DvQ4M38W0AEDHzl.jpg

 

The new rear brakes are bedding in nicely now that I've driven the car around 100 miles since I got it back from the garage. I'm still really glad that I didn't try to replace them myself!

I like them Volvos a lot, that's the right colour and everything. As I stared up at the rusty underbelly of my newest acquisition yesterday it did cros my mind that I should have looked for one.

[Royale80]

Just been offered a brand new council lockup-5 mins walk from me. 30 seconds from my brothers for £10 a week. Would be rude to say no!

 

Steve

[Shep Shepherd]

I like them Volvos a lot, that's the right colour and everything. As I stared up at the rusty underbelly of my newest acquisition yesterday it did cros my mind that I should have looked for one.

 

The car displays a marked reluctance to rust badly, even after almost 29 years of exposure to the British weather; when I finally got around to rustproofing the car's door sills last year, I discovered that they were factory-fresh ^^

 

I can't imagine that there are many Signal Red 740 estates in existence any more, though. I actually bought it on price and condition, rather than colour and spec - I actually wanted a metallic grey or metallic dark blue GLE, but there were none on Bay at the time.

 

In 15 years, I've only seen two others painted the same colour.

[cros]

The car displays a marked reluctance to rust badly, even after almost 29 years of exposure to the British weather.

 

 

 

I can't imagine that there are many Signal Red 740 estates in existence any more, though. I bought it on price and condition, rather than colour and spec - I actually wanted a metallic grey or metallic dark blue GLE, but there were none on Bay at the time.

 

In 15 years, I've only seen two others painted the same colour.

A bloke I used to work for near me had a G reg one in that colour for about 15 years. Most of them only get sold due to the owner becoming bored or dead.

[taxi paul]

So this is my window I was fitting yesterday. Bought from eBay for a measly £25.00. Has laminated glass so useful in the garden. Got to fit the sash when my lad comes down tomorrow. It weighs a bloody lot and can't do it in my own. Will then get some shiplap and box it all in.

[Guest Hooli]

I think I can see a gap around the sides that drafts will get in...

[Shep Shepherd]

A bloke I used to work for near me had a G reg one in that colour for about 15 years. Most of them only get sold due to the owner becoming bored or dead.

 

The majority of the 740s and 760s I encountered in Kent scrapyards in the mid to late 2000s seemed to be there due to owner disinterest as opposed to terminal mechanical or body issues; it's a shame that so many people treated them as throwaway cars. At least I got a lot of good parts from some of them.

[Samuel_Pepys_Esq]

Samuel_Pepys_Esq said on 26^th December 1665:

 

Didst rise afore the city waites call’d six of the clocke, with mine heade feeling lyke a pine-martyn hath shatt in it. Faith, I dost believe that mine sixth flagon of ale at the Rising Sun tavern laste night wert spik’d by some skeevy fucker.

 

Left Elisabeth to doze on, and whilst I attend’d to mine ablutions, I didst heare a fearsome noise from without, akin to a foxe with his privy member stucke in a lawn-mower.

On unfast’ning the shutters, I didst discerne mine neighboure, Sir William Mill, down in the court-yarde below, titting about with his poxy French shitte-boxe of a Citroen AX.

“Mill!” I didst call downe, “Whyfore dost thou make such noisome racket at this early houre on Christmas morn?”

“I have cause for to adjust mine drive-belte,” quoth he, “for I must journey long to-day, for to collect mine dear old aunt from Henley.

“And by-the-bye,” he didst continue, “When art thou collecting that fuckyng parcel that hath been cluttering up mine hall table since afore St. Thomas’ Day?”

 

At this, I did withdraw with much haste, for I realiysed that Elisabeth’s Christmas Boxe, that I hath ordered from Amazon laste weeke and lamented as unaccountably delay’d, was in facte at the Mill residence.

Surely enough, as I didst rootle behind the hall-doore amongst the pizza menus and parchments advertising the services of night-soil men, didst I uncover a ‘Sorry Thou Wert Out’ card from the King’s Own Mail, from fyve fuckyng dayes agoe.

Most stealthy, did I creap along the hall to the entrance to Mill’s home, and there I dids’t charmingly entreat Mrs Mill to hand me over the parcel, which the sour-faced besom did with customary bad grace; and I retire’d  to mine rooms for to wrap said parcel in bright paper and stringe with all due haste, for I could hear that Elisabeth was astir and busy upon the thunder-boxe.

In two shakes didst I have the box enrobed in passable fashion, and then deposit’d upon the table, from whence I retired to mine study to peruse Auto-Shyte.com, perchance there were glorious bargaines to be found on the Tat threade, whilst mine lady didst compleat her toilette.

 

Anon, wert we both attired and breakfast’d, and didst goe down to the frosty courtyard for to make our way to Church. I didst make for to open the garage door, but Elisabeth didst protest in much exasperation,

“In the name of the Lorde, Samuel, let us not goe in that fuckyng heape of yours; let us hail a taxi-sedan and be there in halfe the tyme it doth take thee to pisse about with thy can of Easy-Starte.”

But I didst protest alsoe, and assure her that taxi-sedans are naught but charlatans and mountebanks, and the king’s ransom those robdogs do charge for a fyve-minute trip on Christmas morn would keep us in lampreys a full twelvemonth.

She acceded, and afore longe I didst manage to get mine Triumph Acclaim to starte, with the merest of chugging and application of ether, and so we didst make oure way along to Saint-Martin-In-The-Fields, whence we did suffer a most dismal and tedious sermon on the mortification of the flesh from the Reverend Moulsecombe, who I fear had incurred the wrath of his goodwyfe and hence was in poor spirits.

 

The blessyng giv’n, we didst return without to fynd a fuckyng parking ticket upon the wind-screen of mine Acclaim, that didst stryke me in sore amazement, for I didst believe that the parkyng rozzers didst not ply their trade on Christmas Day, and anyway, it was not lyke fuckyng Currys needed access to their loadyng-yard when they were fuckyng closed, was it?

Elisabeth didst give mirthless laughter, and belay me most foully for mine actions, and didst declare,

“Note thee well, Samuel, hadst we but got a taxi-sedan thou wouldst have no fine, and nott stink of fuckyng starting-aid. I didst spy Mother Hustings wrinkle her nose at thy noxious solvent odours by the chapel-doors, and thou hast naught to blame but thyself.”

Without further word, I didst eventually cause the Acclaim to fyre-up, which did require grievous quantities of Easy-Starte as the day hadst grown devilish cold, and thence we didst continue down to Cannon Street in uneasy silence and contemplation.

 

Near the corner of Mssr. Mouseflakes’ iron-shop, a smol boy didst run headlong into the roade chasing a tennis-ball, and I hadst to clap on the anchors like the very Devil to prevent from stryking the whelp. He didst depart without a second glance, but the Acclaim hath stall’d and I could not  get it to catch again, even tho’ it were runnyng hot.

I popp’d the bonnett, but soon mine can of Easy-Starte didst deplete to naught, and still the bastard would nott catch; all the whyle Elisabeth wert making moste unhelpful observations from the passenger-syde.

 

Moste sudden, did I heare a thin tooting and looked up from the engyne-bay to find Sir Wm. Mill pull’d in close afore, in his rubbishy Frenchman’s conveyance.

“Hast thou suffered a failure to proceed, Pepys?” quoth he, with a glimmer of amusement writ upon his smug visage. “It would give me the greatest pleasure for to convey thee and thy goodwyfe home, as I understand the call-centre for the Kings Own Stables customarily hath a four-hour wait for assistance on this Day of our Saviour’s Birth.”

“Nay, Mill - ” I didst begin, but Elisabeth did chyme in,

“Thank thee, kind neighboure, we do accept thine offer, for I am not sittyng here freezing mine titts off in Cannongate acause of this pricke’s shyte conveyances.”

Mill didst then disembarke with a smirk and tip the seat forward for me, and with greate shame didst I slip into the back of the Citroen aside Mill’s dear old aunt, that didst smell most lamentably of wee.

Elisabeth didst accede into the passenger-side, and thence we did proceed back to Ax-Court, Mill insisting on singing along to his fuckyng Andy Williams cassette along the waye.

I do avow, it art not the moaste wonderful tyme of the year.

I didst thank Mill in muted tones on arrival home, and hurried up-stairs to our residence, whilst mine wyfe continued to berate mine self about this late shitt-showe.

 

As we didst enter, I espied mine gyfte lyinge gaily wrapp’d upon the table, and didst thinke to divert mine scolding, so I didst cry, “Look ye well, Elisabeth, I hath procured a Christmas-gyfte for thee!”

Mine wyfe didst give me some side-eye, and uttered, “I hath not the further patience for thy tom-foolery today, Samuel. If this be one of thy japes...”

I assured her that this wert no jape, and I hadde procured some costly unguent for to aid her beautification; some trifles and trinkets for to adorne her necke, and a new cappe for to wear to Churche – all of which being the perfect truth, for I hadde ordered up on Amazon a tubbe of costly Mme. Clarins face-creame; a charme-necklace; and a gaye new hatte in the latest fashion, all of which were designed to please ladies of a dainty disposition.

She didst remove mine paper-wrappings, and then opne’d the box therein, whereupon she stop’d.

“Is this a fuckyng joke, Samuel? Am I just a fuckyng joke to you?”

And, to my most dismal horror, she held aloft a tubbe of Comma Moly Grease; a set of HT leads; and a new distributor cappe, all for the Acclaim.

I grabb’d at the empty boxe, and spied – too late! – that mine delivery wert from CarPartesForLess.com, and nott from Amazon.

Mine exhortations were in vain, and within mere moments I found myselfe outsyde once again in the frosty court-yarde, while Elisabeth’s shrieks of rage from aloft didst merge with the revelry eminating from the Mill’s residence. I thought I didst espy Mrs. Mill framed in her window, wearing a very similar cappe to the once I didst order, and wearing a charme-necklace…

 

Disconsolate, didst I wander down to the Mighty Thames to kick along London Bridge in a very greate dudgeon, and there didst I encounter Sir Christopher Wren, who wert in the dogg-house acause of a minor misunderstanding involvyng roasting times for a pigge’s head.

So we thence didst proceed to Wren’s offices on Pall Mall, where we made merry on a barrell of goode West Country Cyder and a fyne caske of Porto, and thus had ourselves a merrye Christmas-tyme.

At eleven bells didst we wander abroad to the Edgeware Road, and thence procure a new wonder of a kebabb made from turkey-meates lately brought over from the New World, with much chilli and cranberry dressinge, and a side portion of Flemish sproutes, batter’d.

I declare, t’was fuckyng ace.

 

On mine way back to Ax-Court, long past one of the morning, I pass’d mine Acclaim stranded in Cannon Street and noted well that it hadde acquir'd another fuckyng parking-tickett. Toatal cuntes.

I bedded down in mine study with a bottle of Laphroig and mine intention for to rise early and retrieve mine conveyance, afore further fynes didst come down on mine head.

But mine thoughtes became confuzzled with the goode Scotch whisky, and I dids’t fynd myself on E-Baye viewynge some exceeding cheap Buy-It-Nowe conveyances in the sub-500 shillings listings…

 

And so to bed.

[MikeR]

I did hear of a few good  Volvos going to scrap because of repeating faults , one of which would be the fuel pump control relay ...

[Shep Shepherd]

I did hear of a few good  Volvos going to scrap because of repeating faults , one of which would be the fuel pump control relay ...

 

Lots of minor faults which occurred together sent many Volvo 700s to the scrapyard back in the day. I'm glad that most of The Volvo's major issues were sorted by its previous owner.

[Timewaster]

Mil had a FTP with her Bmax this morning. Would I go take a look?

About 15 miles trip so I thought I'd finish my cuppa first.

 

Just about to leave when I get the "don't worry, they've called green flag" so I got on with something useful.

 

Hour and a half later, green flag diagnosed a borked battery and they are on their way to Halfords.

 

I volunteered to meet them there with my trade card.

 

Good job I did. I arrive, Mil is on the phone to a branch 30 miles away getting befuddled by a lot of guff about Yuasa and warranties, they don't have one and it's £110 plus £15 fitting

This branch apparently don't have one, but they thought they might, then thought they hadn't.....

 

The touch screen on the shelf says no. Computer says no.

 

Then I notice it recommends a stop start battery, 650cca for a 1.0??

 

Turns out Mil's car doesn't have have stop start and the battery on it looks suspiciously like an 075.

Measured it up, yep it's an 075.

 

Pick one of the shelf, fit it in the car park.

 

Trade card saves £22, Son in law brownie points achieved.

[panhard65]

Halfords are the biggest rip off ever £15 to fit a fucking battery is just a joke. Even worse though I just saw and advert and they charge £2 to fit wiper blades. 

[Bren]

Busy today.

Got hi fi sorted. Put tv and shelf up in eldest's bedroom. I did it today because I am back in work tomorrow and I know I would'nt be arsed doing them after a shift.

[Timewaster]

Halfords are the biggest rip off ever £15 to fit a fucking battery is just a joke. Even worse though I just saw and advert and they charge £2 to fit wiper blades.

To be fair, who else would fit a battery for £15 on boxing Day?

 

Any other day it is a liberty though.

[meshking]

I tried to get a battery for my smax from Halfords once... It had been jumped and the refused to try in case they couldn't fit it. I would have paid 15 for the piece of mind getting home with a car full.

[spike60]

Reduced to clear in the boxing day sales. Deposit left.

 

[fordperv]

^I'm rubbing my thighs at that, good purchase

[HillmanImp]

I've left a bit of a deposit in my pants seeing that.

 

Sweet.