Roffle Peugeot 106 1.5D *!!Collected!!*

[Jim Bell]

It was the first day of spring.

The sun did its best to blunt the chill wind that shook the heads of the first bright blooms of the year.

I was on a bus. A fucking bus. With all the bus wankers*



*it is cool to drive a bus. It is not cool being cargo/ballast.









Ive had enough of the bus, I thought. The seats are small and uncomfortable and I am big and fat. There is no love in me for any of the bus.



Smug pricks in cars passed by.








I want to be a smug prick again.




So lets go buy a car.

[Jim Bell]

I looked at all of the specialist internet auction sites and the classified ads in the hope of spotting a diamond in a goats ass.

 

Budget was low.

 

Expectations were unreasonably high.

 

 

 

I had set myself some guideline for this purchase.  It had to be cheap.  Not cheap to buy (it also had to be cheap to buy), but cheap to tax and cheap to feed.

 

 

 

 

The bus lead to another bus, which lead me to a man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NICE RED UNDERPANTS SIR. THAT COLOUR OF UNDERPANT SHOWS US THAT ARE OUTGOING AND VIVACIOUS. LIBRA. A LIBRA. PROBABLY.

[Jim Bell]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

I asked god for a car and for my sins the devil gave me one (oo-er).

 

 

We have here a 1990something phase1 Peugeot 106 1.5D

 

The D stands for Deisel.

 

 

 

 

 

POWER FUCKING PLANT.

 

 

Lucas du pompe for maximum grimms.

 

 

 

 

What kind of helmet puts a Mushroom Speed Filter on a N/A diesel?

I dunno, but I bet he wears red smalls.

[Jim Bell]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three doors because race car.

Spoiler because race car.

[beko1987]

Very nice!

[Jim Bell]

Sunroof as its basically almost summer.

 

 

 

 

 

Check out the speed spoiler.

[Jim Bell]

Very nice!

 

 

LIAR!!!!

[Jim Bell]

Check out the wallpaper patterned, vinyl backed glorychairs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 on the floor for epic cruising velocities.

 

 

MASSIVE CLOCK.

 

 

[Guest Hooli]

That is incredibly grim, congrats.

[The Moog]

 

 

That is incredibly full of win, congrats.

Efa

[r.welfare]

Do you fit behind the wheel all right?

[Jim Bell]

I really dont know how, but its not even really that slow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was expecting it to be a dog shit on a string but its more like a three legged whippet at full belows.

[John F]

Smoll.

[DVee8]

I was offered this last weekend for 250 sheets.

T reg 1.5d zest 12months mot

 

 

 

[Bren]

Why is there a liquorice allsort under the bonnet?

[Jim Bell]

Do you fit behind the wheel all right?

 

 

 

 

 

Kind of.

 

 

 

If it breaks down though, I reckon I could carry it home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WULLAD!!

[Jim Bell]

If the door cards rattle or squeak, fix it by hammering washers in to the gaps.  NO MORE RATTLES.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Im not sure what we are counting, but we have 14.6 of them on tap.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Original dealer plates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tyres are cracking.  Litterally cracking.  Thats a joke.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LUBRIFIANTS RECCOMENDEES!
 

 

[loserone]

These early 106s look just right to me, bet this one's new enough for a 5 speed box too.  Top buyage!

 

Can I ask how the mul-t-lock mount attaches? I've got a couple of the locks in the [pile of things waiting to be moved into the] garage but no mounting bracket thingies.  Is it welded in or summat?

[Jim Bell]

Un-natural habbitat.  There wont be much of this going on.  If I dont get 60mpg out of the first tank, I'm taking it back.

 

 

[Jim Bell]

These early 106s look just right to me, bet this one's new enough for a 5 speed box too.  Top buyage!

 

Can I ask how the mul-t-lock mount attaches? I've got a couple of the locks in the [pile of things waiting to be moved into the] garage but no mounting bracket thingies.  Is it welded in or summat?

 

 

I dunno man.  I only have half of it.  I'll have a look tmorro though.

[loserone]

Thanks. I have two of the other half, which doesn't really help cause I'm literally miles away.

[Guest Hooli]

I was offered this last weekend for 250 sheets.

T reg 1.5d zest 12months mot

 

20170225_140529.jpg

 

Mini pickup *erect*

[Jim Bell]

After a quick blazz about I'm very happy with the daft little thing. 

 

Its unreasonably comfortable for what it is, unreasonably spacious and unreasonably nippy.  I expected it to be shit and am pleasantly dissapointed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Theres a big wedge of service history and it looks like its had more oil changes than an Italian mans hairdo.  Its had a recent belt and pump and a refurbed rear beam in the not too distant past.

 

It drives well and I will drive it around. 

 

 

Im still a big fat man sitting in a small blue seat but believe me, this kicks the shit out of the bus. 

[Jim Bell]

Thanks. I have two of the other half, which doesn't really help cause I'm literally miles away.

 

Can I buy your half?  My half is attatched (somehow)

[Mr Bump]

Meh. Not a Mardi Gras exactly is it

[rantingYoof]

Exactly what the fuck did anyone expect to tow with it? You must research this further and suggest possibles.

[cort16]

He bought a little car on Wednesday

He took it for a drive on Thursday

It broke down on Friday

He spent a lot of Money on Saturday

He chilled out on Sunday

Had a little roffle on Monday

He got the bus to work on Tuesday

 

 

7 days

 

 

I realise in retrospect that was a fucking huge picture of craig david.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

You need to have feet the size of an average ten year old's to operate the pedals on these, mais non?

[Jim Bell]

You need to have feet the size of an average ten year old's to operate the pedals on these, mais non?

 

Yeah.  Theyre offset too.  Right old tapdance.  I just take my shoes and socks off while Im driving and use only my big toes to apply pressure to the piano key pedals.